April 01, 2015
Question: Have you ever gotten to a point where you are so thoroughly stressed out that you wake up every morning covered in a rash? And then you become convinced that the rash is from bedbugs, but bedbugs that exist ONLY on your side of the bed and ONLY bite you, and then you get even more stressed out and stop sleeping because GAAAAHHHH bedbugs and also persistent, recurring anxiety dreams. And then during the day you're basically a sleep-deprived anxiety zombie whose hands shake uncontrollably every time you think about all the things that are making you feel so overwhelmed, to the point that you can barely even type or hold a pen or apply topical ointment to your super-attractive stress rash?
Yeah, me neither.
(But I can confirm that no, we most definitely do not have bedbugs. So that's a plus.)
Anyway. Changes afoot, big decisions to ponder. Necessary and positive changes, obviously, to address everything going on in that first big run-sentence-laden paragraph up there. I'm still trying to decide what and and when to get into specifics, though, and I'm sorry about that. (No, not pregnant. No, not divorcing. No, not signing up for fucking Pinterest STOP ASKING ME THAT.)
So in the meantime...
AHHHHHH NOT AGAIN IT'S HAPPENING AGAIIIIINNNNN
Long-time readers may remember TIREWATCH 2006, during which I documented the irritating presence of a spare tire that sat in the foyer of our little city condo for goddamn weeks and months on end, because of Jason and Reasons.
Deck Tire is the new Foyer Tire. it's been sitting there for about a month now. Jason says he plans to sell it on Craigslist. That is a fine plan! Please to proceed with that plan any time now, Jason.
Even Ceiba is like, HAVE SUM DIGNITY YOU GODDAM PACK OF HOBOZ.
This has been TIREWATCH 2015: THE TIREWATCHENING, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood assholes who keep a spare tire on their back deck.