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December 2003
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February 2004

Bad Girls

For your consideration: An IM conversation with one of my nearest and dearest coworkers. In which we conspire to maim or murder the voice on the other end of the company emergency call-in hotline that dragged our asses into work on time every day of this god-forsaken week, known herein as "Principal Skinner." Much self-adoration and incoherent silliness, etc. Sprocketeer: may i go home now? Sprocketeer: i'm like, dying over here man Me: this day is draggggggggggging Me: and i've wasted so much of it too Sprocketeer: totally - i'm dying Me: i'm experiencing rigor mortis Sprocketeer: i'm experiencing work... Read more →

Confessions of an Anti-Dentite

Hola amigos. What up? I know it’s been awhile since I rapped at ya, but seriously, crazy shiat been going down on my end. No, that’s a total lie. (And a blatant case of Onion plagiarism.) This week: Snow. Ice. Add DC drivers and stir. Repeat as needed for full annoyance. My new assistant (who from this point forward shall be known as Eve3 for reasons that are hysterical to Me) starts on February 10, which is good, because the dry cleaners are threatening to give my clothes away if I don’t pick them up by then. Ha! Ba-dum-ching! Try... Read more →

Wet Feet, Cranky Brain

You remember when you were a kid and snow was predicted overnight and you got all excited and in the morning you would wake up and dash to the window and there was snow but not a lot but still! snow! and you'd rush to the radio and listen to the school closings and your school was like, the ONE super-lame school that was opening on time? My job is now that super-lame school and now it's even worse because I can't take the bus here. Instead I have to get my ass up and outside and scrape a quarter-inch... Read more →

Somebody Else's Blessed Event

So the small yet extremely loud woman in the office directly across from mine is pregnant. Again. Much shrieking and congratulating and whatnot today. There are now at least two pregnant women working here, and sometimes? That's all it takes to make you feel like everybody in the whole bloody world is pregnant except you. I hate you, World. Read more →

The 100 Things Bandwagon

And yes, if all the other cool bloggers e-jumped off an e-bridge, I’d do that too. Shut it. 1. My name is Amy. 2. It was Amy Beth Corbett. 3. Which made my initials ABC. 4. Which made life hard sometimes. 5. I blame the Jackson 5. 6. Now I’m Amy Corbett Storch. 7. Because I married Jason Storch. 8. Who is awesome. 9. And hot. 10. I dropped Beth because I didn’t want to be ABS. 11. Sometimes I wish I’d kept my name. 12. Not because of Jason or anything. 13. I’m just not sure I thought it... Read more →

I Am the Boss of You

By popular demand (one person, but that's all it takes around here), the interview went fan-tab-u-lous. Getting me an assistant y'all. And she already lurves me. Although everyone gave me great suggestions for interview behavior (all involving the Muppet finger puppets, oddly enough), I kinda winged it. (Wung it? See, this is why I need an assistant.) I sort of cleaned my office, but still couldn't find her resume under the pile o' crap on my desk at first. Then I misplaced the list of standard interview bullshit I'd been given, and I dropped my pen and kinda dinged my... Read more →

Short Bits and Follow-Ups

After looking at my stats and referrers, I must conclude that Tolkien was mistaken: all who wander here ARE lost, actually. While is rife with keywords, it's horrifically devoid of actual content. So I shall address a few Google search terms, because I'm bored: Ford fuel pump recall: Yeah, you know what? Don't bother. Even though the cause of this recall (car stalls or nearly stalls in low gears on low fuel) has been well-documented and complained about since the Focus was first produced, Ford just issued the notice...but still, the parts won't be available until next month. If... Read more →

Boss Lady

I have my very first interview tomorrow. I mean, it's my very first time as interviewer instead of interviewee. Professional virgin territory. Wait...that doesn't sound right...I mean, I'm not a professional virgin (methinks the jig is up on that one), but as a professional, this is vir-- Oh hell. Yeah, I'm the big managing editor 'round here and I cannot write worth a damn today. Kiss my ass, interview person. I don't need to write good no more, because I plan to make it all your job. I got the résumé and it's kind of scary-impressive. And I wore my... Read more →

Newsgroupies Redux

Post of the day from my office's "For Sale" newsgroup: FREE - Mexican Sombrero Hat One adult size sombrero -straw with colorful brim -- FREE. Barely used at Company Cinco de Mayo event 5+ years ago Ohhhh...kay. (I am sorry to report that the hat was claimed a few hours later.) Read more →