Lordy, what a week. And I'm only up to Love-A-Lot Bear from the Care Bears thong set.
So I'm driving home tonight, tailgated almost the entire time by a Jeep with one semi-out headlight. The driver decided to compensate for this by turning on his brights. Every time I looked in the rearview mirror: Blam! Blinding light! Glance in the side mirror: Blam! My retinas are still aching.
Sigh. It's always about this time of year that Jase and I start fanatasizing about packing up and moving to Vermont. We start browsing the real estate sites for places like this. We start debating whether we have enough pull at our jobs to work remotely. (Yeah, not a chance.) We've never worked it out, obviously. Last year we let the VT thing drop because there aren't any Chipotles up there. Oh, and no jobs. That too.
But a few months ago we found that there are like a hundred bazillion calories in those burritos, so we don't eat there that much anymore. And so the VT longings are back. It's effing freezing here, but no skiing. Everyone drives SUV monstrosities, but no one can drive in flurries. Our super-rewarding careers? Meh. And we paid more for our 2 bedroom, 1 bath condo with no parking space than that 6 bedroom chalet costs.
Jason's brother has a condo up in Killington so we go up a couple times a year. But not yet this year, which y'all can just add to the burgeoning list of things Amy thinks Suck. But I don't want to visit. I want to live there.
My husband would be the happiest little ski bum in the land, and I would let the urban-rock-star-layers grow out of my hair and wear ponytails and big warm sweaters and finish my novel and drink those cider-and-brandy things they serve at the lodge all day and maybe write a folksy little column for one of those free papers at the ski resort. And we'd have a tiny mortgage and two bathrooms and a little baby 'cuz I'd be so relaxed and easygoing up there that *poof* my fertility problems would vanish just like that.
And Max would be happy there too. Though Max is happy in my sock drawer, so whatever.
Do they have Sephoras in Vermont? No? Well, I could catalog-order my facial glitter I think. I'll give up my job and my Chipotle burritos and my hipster urban lifestyle...but I'm NOT giving up the glitter.