Short Bits and Follow-Ups
January 21, 2004
After looking at my stats and referrers, I must conclude that Tolkien was mistaken: all who wander here ARE lost, actually. While amalah.com is rife with keywords, it's horrifically devoid of actual content.
So I shall address a few Google search terms, because I'm bored:
Ford fuel pump recall: Yeah, you know what? Don't bother. Even though the cause of this recall (car stalls or nearly stalls in low gears on low fuel) has been well-documented and complained about since the Focus was first produced, Ford just issued the notice...but still, the parts won't be available until next month. If you car stalls, the best they'll offer you is an "interim" repair, which sounds way scary and sketchy -- like duct tape, gum and a blowtorch.
When I took my car in for the Battery Incident, I asked about the fuel pump recall. Yeah, uh-huh. Got the car back with the following note on my bill: Fuel pump recall: Parts may be in next month. Ford, it’s a RECALL, for god's sake. It’s the car equivalent of YOU called ME. And then asked who the hell I was and why you were speaking to me. And then kept me on hold for hours and hours and then hung up.
So. Ford fuel pump recall. Call first, plan to take your car in February. In the meantime, either keep your gas tank full and happy or be prepared to be the idiot who stalls at lot.
Oxygen network schedule: This is my fault. I have bitched and bitched about TiVoing AbFab episodes on Oxygen, only to end up with Roseanne eps. I finally cracked the elusive scheduling code and believe that the fault may not lie with Oxygen, but with my digital cable, brought to you by the clowns at Starpower. Oxygen is being broadcast a mystifying three hours behind. Why? We do not ask, we do not know.
But I now record Girls Behaving Badly at midnight on Friday night and wake up Saturday morning with a brand-spanking-new episode of Absolutely Fabulous that supposedly aired at 9 pm.
So I guess Oxygen didn't deserve all of my ire, but they still suck because they air exactly four things: Girls Behaving Badly, which is not nearly as funny as it could be; Roseanne reruns; Oprah After the Show, for those who just can't let go of the big O after only one hour; and some sex advice show with a host who thinks that she makes the show edgy and scintillating by holding up dildos occasionally. Also: old Meryl Streep movies you've never heard of.
an open letter to the guy who stole: Stole your what? What did he steal? Your bike? Your wallet? Your dignity? How can I help you if you don't give me the whole story? And why did you conduct the search twice within an eight hour period? I can see these things. Did you steal my bike? Don't leave me hanging, random Googler!
I want your bod; bod men commercials; men shirtless bod; body fantasies ad; bod men must die; etc.: It's official!! Those horrid commercials have infiltrated the psyches of Americans everywhere! We Google endlessly, looking for a purpose or point to the mystery that is the Bod Men! But there is none to be found! We want your bod! We all want your bod!