And yes, if all the other cool bloggers e-jumped off an e-bridge, I’d do that too. Shut it.
1. My name is Amy.
2. It was Amy Beth Corbett.
3. Which made my initials ABC.
4. Which made life hard sometimes.
5. I blame the Jackson 5.
6. Now I’m Amy Corbett Storch.
7. Because I married Jason Storch.
8. Who is awesome.
9. And hot.
10. I dropped Beth because I didn’t want to be ABS.
11. Sometimes I wish I’d kept my name.
12. Not because of Jason or anything.
13. I’m just not sure I thought it through very well.
14. But you tend to do that when you get married at 20.
15. No, I wasn’t pregnant.
16. I’m 26 now.
17. Still not pregnant.
18. Am sad about that.
19. We have a cat named Max.
20. I call him Maximillian Thunderdome.
21. Because he’s mad, mad! and has a T on his chest.
22. He’s a traditional seal point Siamese.
23. Siamese cats get a bum rap because of Lady & The Tramp.
24. They are actually extremely affectionate and well-behaved.
25. Max thinks he’s people.
26. Yes, we call ourselves Mommy and Daddy to the cat.
27. We live in Northwest Washington, D.C.
28. And we love it.
29. I’m from Levittown, PA and then Newtown, PA.
30. I went to a Christian high school that I hated.
31. Not because I hate God or anything.
32. But because the people there were just plain scar-you-for-life mean.
33. But most of them still live with their parents so pffft.
34. I Google people I used to know compulsively.
35. I went to Penn State.
36. I majored in Communications and English.
37. I transferred to University of Maryland when I got married.
38. I got a full-time job before I finished.
39. I’m taking my last two classes now.
40. Because enough already.
41. I’m an editor.
42. Managing Editor, thank you very much.
43. I edit investment newsletters and advisory services.
44. It’s every bit as scintillating as you can imagine.
45. But I have my own office.
46. With a door and everything.
47. I have to wear suits to work.
48. Which is annoying and expensive.
49. I want to publish a novel.
50. But I need to write it first.
51. I am a bad skier.
52. But I try because Jason loves it.
53. My brother-in-law has a condo in Killington that we visit.
54. Last year I hit a tree on the bunny slope.
55. My leg hasn’t been right since.
56. It’s the same leg that was bitten by a German Shepherd named Duke in high school.
57. Duke was my boyfriend’s dog.
58. Duke had bitten two other people before me.
59. They didn’t tell me that until after he bit me.
60. I have wicked scars from it and bad veins.
61. Should have sued the assholes.
62. The boyfriend is a pastor now.
63. I know because I Googled him.
64. I ultimately broke up with him for Jason.
65. THANK GOD.
66. I have four brothers and two sisters.
67. They are all half-siblings.
68. Because we’re a blended family like the Brady Bunch.
69. Except that everyone hated each other.
70. It’s kind of better now.
71. I have one niece and three nephews.
72. My dad has had cancer three times in his throat and thyroid.
73. He lost most of his vocal chords and voice box.
74. Then he had an aortic aneurysm.
75. He nearly died.
76. Then he had a heart attack.
77. He’s still here though.
78. And doing better.
79. I’ve had problems with depression, anorexia and panic disorders.
80. But I’m doing better too.
81. I hate picky eaters. Just eat it already.
82. I spend too much money on makeup and handbags.
83. I have blonde hair and brown eyes.
84. I do get my hair colored.
85. But to a shade of blonde that’s darker than the shade of blonde that I actually am.
87. But I’m not a really girly girl.
89. I swear a lot.
90. I have two tattoos.
91. My favorite TV shows are The Simpsons, South Park and Family Guy.
92. My TiVo thinks I’m a 13-year-old boy.
93. I adore reality TV shows.
94. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.
95. Well, maybe a little.
96. I adore my friends.
97. I will take on anyone who hurts them.
98. My feelings get hurt too easily.
99. I still lip-synch into my hairbrush and practice Oscar acceptance speeches in front of the mirror when I think no one’s around.
100. Comments brighten up my whole day.