1) I'm currently editing what may very well go down in history as the Worst 8 Pages of Text Ever Written Since the Dawn of Mankind (and No, I Did Not Write It, Thank You Very Much). I have to send it to print on Friday. At this point, the only solution I see is to correct all the spelling and grammar mistakes, send it print, then burn all copies and never speak of it again.
2) It's been three days since I've had any caffeine, except for a couple sips (ok, gulps) of Jason's soda last night. I'm downright homicidal. Can it, bitches.
3) I'm wearing kickass new boots. That I practically got for free. No, seriously! I almost bought these Charles David boots at Filene's before Christmas for $189 but didn't. But then this weekend I went back to the store and the boots were still there and 50% off so of course I had to get them. But then I saw these awesome Cole Haan pumps for $109. Was I really prepared to spend almost $200 on shoes that day? No, but I was going to anyway. But then the cashier was just all kinds of special and accidently applied the 50% discount to the entire transaction instead of just the boots. At least I think that's what she did. I'm still not sure of the math and her register ate my receipt. And she forgot to take a security tag off the shoes and I set the alarm off and thought that they knew I was trying to leave the store with $195 worth of shoes for only $100 and got all nervous but the guard only wanted to get the cashier number off my mangled receipt so she could get yelled at. Not having a good day, that one. Also: the guard had looooong acrylic fingernails. Also: the guard was a guy.
4) No one has noticed my kickass new boots.
5) I got an email from my mom saying she got another cat. This is cat number three. Mazie, Mollie and Maggie. My sister has two cats: Misty and Maddy. I have one cat: Max. This is not confusing in the slightest.
6) I feel a zit coming on.
7) I made a peanut butter and honey sandwich for lunch, which was yummy but small. So I decided to make another, which was a Really Bad Idea. Also: peanut butter and honey are both very very sticky and bad for keyboards.
8) The best out-of-context IM ever: "you got your tampon in my cheez whiz!"