I've Lost It, For Good & Official-Like

me: WHAT THE FUCK
also me: what! what!
me: IM IS STILL NOT WORKING
also me: oh dear god
me: this is dire
also me: are you sure? let me try to connect again
me: it's NOT WORKING, you SILLY TWIT
also me: well there's no harm in trying...
also me: yeah, not working
me: duh, dumbface
also me: look, i'm the only one you have to chat with so be nice, ok?
me: yeah, ok, ok.
also me: this is like, ruining my marriage
me: really? didn't you find you and jason actually had stuff to talk about since you didn't IM him with every random flighty thought in your head all day?
also me: well, first his dad was in town for business so we went to dinner and then American Idol was on so no, we didn't really talk
me: American Idol instead of talking with your husband. ok.
also me: we talked about American Idol while it was on, does that count?
me: no. how was the fater-in-law visit?
me: oops, i mean father-in-law
also me: super unexpected. i had to dash home and clean. throw out massive empty boxes of caffeine-free Coke and hide the evidence of Tuesday's dinner of Kraft mac & cheese and leftover chinese food
me: ew
also me: yes, and please note that we were still too lazy to clean up the dishes after this sumptuous feast
me: ok, so American Idol is the least of your problems
also me: you could say that. also having imaginary IM conversations with myself probably isn't a good sign either
me: i wonder if it's working now
also me: let's check
me: no
also me: damn. how about now?
me: no
also me: your hair looks really pretty today
me: don't patronize me, bitch