Bad Girls
8 Things About My Day

Superbowl Sell-Out Spectacular!

Jason and Amy watch the Superbowl Halftime Show. An only vaguely embellished transcript.

Jason: Why isn’t anyone else doing a halftime show? Like MTV usually does something.

Amy: Who knows. Who cares. They all suck.

Jason: We could watch the Lingerie Bowl on pay-per-view.

Amy: (silence)

Jason: Oh. The regular halftime show is MTV. Sellouts.

Amy: Jessica Simpson! Aaaaeeeiiiiii!!!

Jason: Nice majorette costume.

Amy: She’s stupid dumb.

Jason: Look, here’s the least embarrassing member of the Jackson family!

Amy: And she’s gone goth! Or gladiator.

Jason: She is so not dancing.

Amy: You mean singing?

Jason: Yeah, that too.

Amy: P. Diddy! Aaaeeeeeeeiiiiii!!

Amy: P. Diddly Iddly, as Flanders would say.

TV: Oh Diddy you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind...

Jason: Those are words no one should ever have to hear.

Amy: Uh oh, Nelly’s coming! The cheerleaders are switching teams! I sense a tussle!

Jason: This is a good song.

Amy: Yeah, like over a year ago.

Jason: Too bad when Nelly was on SNL he was practically tone deaf.

Amy: Yeah, the acoustics must be much better in Atlanta.

Jason: (snort)


Jason: And next in the parade o’ corporate mofo sellouts…


Jason: Stop with the head banging. You’re freaking Max out.

Amy: I don’t think you’re supposed to wear the American flag like a poncho.

Jason: It’s nice that the halftime show is featuring the big hits of two years ago tonight.

TV: (unspeakable acts of censorship and editing of Kid Rock’s “Cowboy.”)

Jason: This song used to be…edgier, I thought.


Jason: I think he said something like “Yay, go football, woo!” instead.

Amy: He took off his flag poncho.

Jason: The cheerleaders all have flags now.

Amy: Yay, go America! I’m a cowboy, baby!

Jason: What are those things where the names are being shown?

Amy: Who’s Jane? Oh, Janet’s back. Where’d Jessica Simpson go?

Jason: They look like big banners of tumors.

Amy: They do. Or vials of pills. I’m not seeing what they were going for with the scenery here.

Jason: Hey! This is just as good as the Lingerie Bowl!

Amy: It’s the goth gladiators from Cabaret.

Jason: This song is such a rip-off from Parliament Funkadelic.

Amy: (silence)

Amy: You’re old, man.

Jason: Shut up! It is!

TV: We are a part of the Rhythm Nation...

Amy: My bro-ther is a ped-o-phile! Hey, that fits!

Jason: She’s saying stuff that we’re supposed to be opposed to, but I can’t hear her.

Amy: The big tumor billboards are saying NO!

Jason: I think she just said illiteracy.

Amy: Funny how her mike worked so much better during the song.

Jason: Just say no to halftime shows!

Amy: Justin! He's dreamy.

Jason: He’s probably the most talented person we’ve seen yet.

Amy: I believe he is actually singing.

Jason: I believe he actually smacked Janet’s ass.

Amy: The marching band looks a bit out of place at this point.

TV: Gonna have you nekkid by the end of this song...

Amy: Oh my god!

Jason: What, what?

Amy: Justin just ripped off part of Janet’s top!

Jason: Ok.

Amy: No, but her boob was there! And she had a little silver pasty thing on her nipple.

Jason: No way.

Amy: Way. It was way risqué and downright un-American. I’m writing CBS a letter.

Jason: Whatever.

Amy: No, seriously! And through the miracle of TiVo, you can rewind and still see Janet’s boob!

Jason: That’s right! Where’s the remote?

(At this point we spent a few minutes playing with the TiVo remote and watched the Janet Boob Unveiling of 2004 several times and at several speeds. Yes, we are sad, sad people. Go Patriots! Or go whoever and just finish and show Survivor All-Stars already.)



That conversation sounds VERY familiar. Scary ;-)


Hmmm..I think I saw that very same Boob during the halftime show. LOL I really think the whole thing was staged. I mean who goes around wearing silver-diamond pastie things on their boobs if no one else is gonna see them? It really made me laugh though, I must admit!! ROTF!


so TiVo does have a use then? ;-)

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