Haiku Smackdown II: Electric Haikulu
Eternal Sunshine of the Cluttered Mind

Merry Christmas! Wait, What?

Apropos of nothing, my mom just emailed me the following picture from Christmas morning at our place.

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First, I am blinded by my own whiteness. I am the whitest white girl in the history of white.

Second, I am holding in my lap the package of Care Bear days-of-the-week thongs. The greatest gift I have ever been given. Like today? Is Wednesday? Hump Day? So the thong is Love-a-Lot Bear. Get it? GET IT??

Third, that thing around my head is a remnant of Sephora's holiday packaging. I thought I was way original to wrap it around my head. In retrospect, not so much. For my next bit, I probably tried to put it on the cat. All over the nation on Christmas morn, pets and babies were probably tortured with the Sephora ribbon. Let's all work to put an end to this.

But what do you expect? Look at Jason go with the scotch-sniffing at like, 10:30 in the morning. He's so hot when he's got the eye-opener shakes.

And lastly, please note the little candy dish with the red and green M&Ms. This was my attempt to look like the good little holiday hostess. I got the M&Ms in my gift bag at my company Christmas party, and the Harry & David's tower in front of me was a gift from one of my authors. So on the surface, I am such a grown-up. Needless to say, it wasn't long before those M&Ms were spilled all over the damn place. By me. I just found another one under the couch last week. Whoops.

(Want more Amalah holiday wackiness? Of course you do. So click here to read a hilarious post from back before anybody read this damn site. There's another picture there too, but only if you're good.)

Comments

yvonne

you just got all wild and crazy with the ribbon on your head, didn't you?

Iki

I've got a cup of red and green m&m's in my desk drawer right now. From Christmas. 2002. This year we'll celebrate their 2nd anniversary in my desk drawer by me taking them out and pretending they are fresh and giving them to my coworkers. Heh heh.

Sweety

I want Care Bear days-of-the-week thongs too!!! What bear is appropiate for Thursday haiku smackdown? :)

Chris

Care Bears thongs. I can honestly say that I'd never even thought such a thing existed. What's next...Strawberry Shortcake sex toys?

Really, half the fun of the holidays is trying to stick stuff on your pets. I can only imagine how much fun it would be with babies. I say we embrace it, not try and get rid of it!

Cute picture though ;-)

Oliquig

Forget ribbon, if you tie yarn to the tail of your kitten, hours of hilarity will ensue.

Non-haiku speaking
Is throwing me for a loop
Must stop the counting.

djmofo

as soon as i saw the pic, i thought:

"just a steel town girl on a saturday night..."

Zoot

Before I take a lunch break, I wanted to tell you how funny that entry and picture are. And Care Bear thongs? Really? Thats insanely awesome.

Dee

Came by to see you.
Don't be bored - haiku, baby!
Nice site - rocks my socks!

djmofo

i'm not quite sure where to post the haiku so this looks as good of a place as any...

trying to work ball sack
but then again you like 'yo'
ball sack---yo--baby

blowing boogers now
cat allergies are the shit
will i find my keys?

designing bad site
gigilo is his style
gold chains and a porsche

cat ate the fern plant
now is puking everywhere
great! i stepped in it

see? this is my life
the glory of unemployed
entertain me now

charlie's angels theme
in my head all fucking day
fuck aaron spelling

with all this talent
someone should hire my ass
will blow for a job

great, now i can't stop
i got haiku fever, man
it's so addictive

Jennie

You are way too funny for us to be related. would love to try the haiku thing ........yo'........and yet I feel so responsible for at least some of your xmas holiday happiness.........(care bear thong gift giver)....just don't google care bear thongs anyone.it'all porn....ew..I'm such a novice............
Sister JC

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