Merry Christmas! Wait, What?

Apropos of nothing, my mom just emailed me the following picture from Christmas morning at our place.

First, I am blinded by my own whiteness. I am the whitest white girl in the history of white.

Second, I am holding in my lap the package of Care Bear days-of-the-week thongs. The greatest gift I have ever been given. Like today? Is Wednesday? Hump Day? So the thong is Love-a-Lot Bear. Get it? GET IT??

Third, that thing around my head is a remnant of Sephora's holiday packaging. I thought I was way original to wrap it around my head. In retrospect, not so much. For my next bit, I probably tried to put it on the cat. All over the nation on Christmas morn, pets and babies were probably tortured with the Sephora ribbon. Let's all work to put an end to this.

But what do you expect? Look at Jason go with the scotch-sniffing at like, 10:30 in the morning. He's so hot when he's got the eye-opener shakes.

And lastly, please note the little candy dish with the red and green M&Ms. This was my attempt to look like the good little holiday hostess. I got the M&Ms in my gift bag at my company Christmas party, and the Harry & David's tower in front of me was a gift from one of my authors. So on the surface, I am such a grown-up. Needless to say, it wasn't long before those M&Ms were spilled all over the damn place. By me. I just found another one under the couch last week. Whoops.

(Want more Amalah holiday wackiness? Of course you do. So click here to read a hilarious post from back before anybody read this damn site. There's another picture there too, but only if you're good.)