The Non-Packing Packing Diary
PUI: Packing Under the Influence

Haiku Smackdown V: Smack & Smackier

Haiku Smackdown Five!
How much more 'ku can you do?
Are you bored to tears?

Does the thought of one
more five-seven-five fill you
with dread? Have no fear!

I've changed the rules, yo.
Be sure to read them before
you 'ku. Check it, dawg.

Pop culture is the
game this week. Keep it funny,
real snarky, real cool.

And the 'ku-er with
the maddest mad skillz we'll crown
Grand Haiku Master.

(Lord. New rules? So soon?
Cousin Oliver is here.
The Shark, it is jumped.)

Comments

Zoot

"Idol's" Amy is gone.
John S. and Camile are Not.
My votes must not count.

Chris

John's still around, yet
He has the talent of my
Refridgerator

Zoot

I do love John P.
Not for his singing, however.
John P. makes me smile.

Little Z love George.
Voted for him 16 times.
At least he's still in.

Sweety

What? A singing fridge!
That’s quite a unique talent
You must feed him well

Sweety

Right now this ‘ku day
Is a bit quiet like Brown;
James, Bobby and Sam

Zoot

I can't stop bitching.
About Amy going home.
I'll boycott A.I.

No- I cant do that.
I'll talk Survivor instead.
Ambah is slammin'!

Zoot

Music in my head?
Song from "School of Rock" soundtrack.
Its called "Teacher's Pet"

Its a good soundtrack.
Several Oldies but Goodies.
Some from the Kid Band.

Amalah

Holy living hell.
Airport connections suck clown
balls when you miss yours.

I missed AI both nights
The quirky pink-haired girls are
always first to go.

Sweety

Besides Haiku day
Today is April fools day
I'm having a blast

Don't trust me today
Hey, Girls just want to have fun
Cindy Lauper Rocks

Dawnie

A pop culture theme?
This could be a problem, yo
I don't do A.I.

Sweety

Oh shit! I'm confused!
I hope theme is not A.I.
Where's Simon Fuller?

Amalah

Theme is NOT AI,
Just easiest reference
for early morning.

Zoot

Kingdom Hospital -
I think its getting canceled.
Have you all heard this?

I like Stephen King -
Well, at least a little bit.
But, not that show though.

The concept was good.
It tried to be "Twin Peaks"-ish,
But it sucked at it.

Sweety

Ohhh thanks Amalah
I was starting to worry
Pop Culture it is!

Amalah

Theme has killed haiku.
Let's talk bad (BAD) TV shows
you secretly love.

I'll go first. I still
kinda sorta think Perfect
Strangers is funny.

kimberlee

Prince or The Artist
could be known as your standard
metrosexual

quality verses
quantity, pop culture too
oh the pressure Amy!

kimberlee

my life mimics the
Roseanne Show of the 90's
really, sad but true

Chris

How I miss Balki
Not to mention Who's The Boss
And I mourn Urkel

Dawnie

Saved By The Bell was
my favorite after-school
entertainment, yo

Major crush on Zach
Slater wasn't bad, either
Idolized Kelly

Amalah

I stayed home to watch
TGIF in high school.
Such a dork I was.

Full House, Step By Step
and Urkel: ev'ry Friday
night. What a loser.

Amalah

Am waiting for the
E! True Hollywoord Story
'bout Saved By the Bell.

Zoot

Can you say the names -
First and Last of the main kids
From "Saved by the Bell"?

That was the big thing,
To try to do in college.
Who needs a degree?

Dawnie

TGIF! Woo!
Huge fan of Full House I was
Uncle Jesse rocked

Never saw Showgirls
"Jessie Spano naked!" my
RA described it

Kayley

I watched Sabrina
She's annoying, but bright spot -
Harvey (not the witch)

kimberlee

facts of life, chips, alf
growing pains and family ties
i miss the 80's

Amalah

Alf! Poor puppet is
now shilling for collect calls
or some 10-10 thing.

Coleen

Serves Amy right, yo
Pink bitch stole my signature
"Sin Wagon" song. Bye!

I watched "Saved" last night
the one where they graduate
Why Zack Morris last?

Dawnie

Alphabetical
By first name? But, why? Although,
It makes good TV.

Amalah

Did anyone watch
the new Judith Light show last
night? It canceled yet?

kimberlee

who remembers these
happy days, i loved the fonz
lavern and shirley?

thumbs up to me, yo
in honor tried coke and milk
but eww too nasty!

Chris

I was wondering
About The Stones this morning
It can't last for long

Kim

Facts of Life: my fave
Tootie, Blair, Jo, Natalie
And Mrs.Garrett

I miss that theme song
Shows today just aren't the same
No good tunes to sing

"You take the good, take
the bad, take them both, there you
have... the Facts Of Life."

Amalah

I do not believe
The Stones will spawn any more
Judith Light fan art.

Amalah

I saw Tootie on
Star Dates! That was kinda sad.
Date didn't know her.

Sweety

Poor Bill Cosby cries!
The Huxtables. Pushed aside
Evil Judith Light

Kim

Tootie on Star Dates
Don't you have to BE a star
to be on that show?

It's a pity but
Her star fell a long time past
What has she done since?

The news reports say
"Jo", Nancy McKeon, has
Schitzophrenia

Coleen

I watched the one when
Laverne thinks that she's preggers
heady sitcom stuff.

Please bring me drugs, yo.
My foot and heel are killing
I am in PAIN! Shit.

Chris

That's because the drink
Was milk and Pepsi, not Coke
I'd guess it still sucks

Amalah

Poor Tootie. No one
remembers Living Single
from the 90s, yo.

And she also did
The Vagina Monologues.
So that's, um, something.

Amalah

According to E!'s
website, Tootie once trashed her
Facts dressing room. Rawk.

She also dated
Todd Bridges from Diff'rent Strokes.
Ok, I'm done now.

Zoot

I miss Knight Rider,
Not for David, but for KIT.
I hate David H.

I loved A-Team too.
Murdock was my Favorite.
Had a crush on FACE.

Kim

She did Vagina?
I can't imagine Tootie
talking about sex!

Tho there was one 'sode
Back seat petting led to more
but Tootie said no

I remember well
Tootie said, "Ow, that hurts me"
Penetration stopped

After that she seemed
A pure and innocent girl
No sex for Tootie

Dawnie

Tootie? Near-miss sex?
It can't be! She was always
so innocent, yo

Dawnie

Am now traumatized
Tootie saying, "Ow, please stop"
It just seems so wrong

Kim

Near-miss sex indeed
Toot wore a pink, puffy dress
It may have been prom

Zoot

Come on people, KIT!
Which is better, Tootie Sex,
Or a talking Car!

I'll keep talking KIT.
I dont know about Tootie.
Knight Rider rocks, though.

Dawnie

Never saw that show
How did I miss Knight Rider?
Have heard I'm deprived

Kim

I remember KIT
Talking or not, no interest
I'm a girl, you know

Zoot

Dawnie not miss much.
But the talking car was cool.
David H. was not.

Kim

But back to AI
I'm pissed Amy was booted
Camille stayed? That's crap.

Camille doesn't smile
She's stiff and has attitude
Eliminate her

Chris

I used to enjoy
Simon and Simon as well
as Magnum PI

Dawnie

My 6th grade English
teacher had unholy love
for Tom Selleck, yo.

Pictures of Magnum
Posted all over her room
It was kind of weird

Zoot

I am with you, Kim.
I loved Amy, hate Camile.
At least George was safe.

Amalah

(Just posted a long
laborious account of
my Florida trip.)

Amalah

I loved Tom Selleck
when I was five. I would kiss
my sister's posters.

Kim

What's with the mustache?
It made him look quite creepy
Tom, "The Molester!"

Ok, maybe not
But I don't like the mustache
A 70's fad

Zoot, I like George too
A cutie with a big heart
I hope he goes far

But please get rid of
That John Peter Lewis kid
He can't sing or dance

kimberlee

ut oh ut oh oh
nix Camile please but do no
JPL bashing!

Kim

Oh no! Not you too!
JPL has no talent!
He's cute, and that's it.

Zoot

JPL Can't Sing.
He makes me smile, I love him.
I dont want him gone :(

But, I know he sucks.
And one day he must go home,
"Home" meaning, "My Home" :)

Kim

At least you see it
His blatant lack of talent
I admit he's cute

It's sad though, because
The ones with talent will go
before JPL

Why? Teenage girls vote
More than anyone else does
And they all want him

Not because he sings
Or deserves to still be there
He wiggles his bum

kimberlee

ha ha me too, yes
his lack of talent draws me
and I love his dad!

keepergirl

Gave up on AI
Paula started making sense
Must have balanced meds.

Sure my friends may laugh
But Joan of Arcadia
Is a really good show.

The Apprentice, yo
Not as good as Survivor
I'm still Burnett's bitch.

Dawnie

In Survivor pool
Afraid to watch the damn show
Must not jinx myself

Zoot

My name's Kim too guys.
Look back at the last few posts.
3 Kims and Idol Talk.

Zoot

My name's Kim too guys.
Look back at the last few posts.
3 Kims Idol Talk.

Apprentic Rocks too.
Tonight will be a good ep.
I like the boys best.

Zoot

Thats weird. I posted -
BEFORE clicking Post button.
First one is wrong count.

Back to TV shows?
Remember "out of this world"?
I want to stop time.

Kim

Zoot's real name is Kim?
Not a common name these days
Monikers have changed

Shoot, I have to go
A meeting at ten-thirty
CD-ROM rejig

Then another one
Photographer site survey
Needs to see this place

Should be back at one
Hours of Haiku catch-up
I'll be way behind

Lauren aka New Jan

How come no one is
Haikuing about my fam?
The Brady Bunch, dude!

kimberlee

penny marshal is
on ellen as i type this
yes PEPSI and milk

I think Kim was a
popular 70's name
why I'm kimberLEE

I must admit here
Apprentice-aholic, me
I want nick to win

kimberlee

the brady bunch rules
i wanted to make out with
Greg and peter, yo!

keepergirl

I love the Bradys.
But Sam the Butcher, yeah right.
Alice was so gay!

I read Greg's book and
I was a little skeeved out
Dated TV mom!

Sweety

What was that show called..
With the girl who could freeze time
Using her fingers?

Dawnie

What about Danger
Mouse? I loved that show! But I
Forget Bad Guy's name

Chris

I'm sad to admit
Every Brady episode
A gazillion times

Chris

Also sad to say
My last haiku made no sense
Its one of those days

Kayley

'scary' music from
bradys in hawaii ep
still haunts me sometimes

Amalah

Vicki the robot
from Small Wonder anyone?
Awesomely bad show.

I remember when
Vicki learned to cry but she
had no tear ducts! Whoa!

I also swore for
years that kid who played Jamie
was Billy Corgan.

Kayley

friend tried to dress up
as Vicky for Halloween
looked nothing like her

Shiz

Fellow 'ku-ers, Hi!
I finally made it in
Now I can join you.

Cannot Haiku much
My brain and body are fried
won't be Grandmaster.

Car will not start, 'yo
First rear-ended, now totalled
this Monday morning.

Funny thing, 'ku-ers
Shiz has been so queasy since
Maybe concussion?

No more pitying
Time for the pop culture, Dudes
try to play by rules:

Richard Simmons learned
Slapping someone gets noticed
but now being sued.

Chris

Oh my god Amy
You just came up with the worst
TV show EVER!

Shiz

Have no idea
what the HECK is "Small Wonder"?
never heard of it.

Amalah

She's a small wonder,
a girl unlike other girls...
Theme songs sap brain cells!

Shiz

Y'all remember C.H.I.P.S.?
Dad and Bro so into it
Spanish & white Cop.

Frank Poncherello
together with Jon Baker
rode motorcycles

Alas Dudes, it aired
the same time as Brady Bunch
missed Brady's for C.H.I.P.S.

Chris

I used to love CHIPS
Until the silly cast change
Then it jumped the shark

Lauren aka New Jan

Anyone who picks
CHIPS over the Brady Bunch
Will get the beat down!

Shiz

I was the younger
and it was two against one
I wanted Brady's.

kimberlee

dukes of hazzard rock
i had a hamster, named him
rosco p coltrain

Chris

Brady's versus CHIPS?
Take the Bunch over the fuzz
Lest Jan get pissed off

Dawnie

I feel so damn young!
Bradys? CHIPS? Before my time.
I watched Family Ties

Shiz

How 'bout The Fall Guy?
And Aerowolf? Sorry guys;
the boys picked the shows.

kimberlee

gilligan's island
my alltime favorite show
love the professor!

Dawnie

What about He-Man,
Masters of the Universe?
Really bad movie

Shiz

Did I tell you all
that I do not have TV?
zero reception.

and for the most part
I do not really miss it
except for one show

Judging Amy, dudes
I'm afraid to confess it
but I loved it, yo.

how can I find out
what the heck is going on?
cannot find recaps.

Did Amy & Stu
ever really get married?
what happened to them?

Zoot

I know two dogs named
Rosco P. Coltrain, really!
It is a good name.

Sweety, That was it -
Girl touched fingers and stopped time.
Dad was alien.

I cant watch cop shows.
I watched CHiPs every day.
All others seem fake.

Erik Estrada
Was the best TV cop, yo.
I am very lame.

Coleen

Y'all's spelling saddens
It is Rosco P. Coltrane
IMDB rules.

Is there no love then
For the Thundercats? Voltron?
Transformers? Woe. Woe.

Chris

Sometimes I feel old
Like when people weren't born yet
When CHIPS was first on

Tjej

Aerosmith is back
With a kick ass new album
Years in the waiting

It's all bluesy rock
Just one original song
The rest are covers

Don't let that fool you
Steve's harmonica is best
All songs are damn good

They are my fav band
You should run and buy it NOW
Maybe I'm biased?

Beth

Punky Brewster, Ugh!
Lorenzo in Renegade,
Totally LOVE KIT!

Beth

The Pretender - good!
Loved Profiler, but nothing
matches Alias!

Zoot

MrZoot just bought,
G.I.Joe DVD set.
I never watched it.

My favorite old 'toon?
JEM and the HOLOGRAMS, yo.
Synergy beat KIT.

The comments to this entry are closed.