Haiku Smackdown V: Smack & Smackier
April 01, 2004
Haiku Smackdown Five!
How much more 'ku can you do?
Are you bored to tears?
Does the thought of one
more five-seven-five fill you
with dread? Have no fear!
I've changed the rules, yo.
Be sure to read them before
you 'ku. Check it, dawg.
Pop culture is the
game this week. Keep it funny,
real snarky, real cool.
And the 'ku-er with
the maddest mad skillz we'll crown
Grand Haiku Master.
(Lord. New rules? So soon?
Cousin Oliver is here.
The Shark, it is jumped.)
"Idol's" Amy is gone.
John S. and Camile are Not.
My votes must not count.
John's still around, yet
He has the talent of my
Refridgerator
I do love John P.
Not for his singing, however.
John P. makes me smile.
Little Z love George.
Voted for him 16 times.
At least he's still in.
What? A singing fridge!
That’s quite a unique talent
You must feed him well
Right now this ‘ku day
Is a bit quiet like Brown;
James, Bobby and Sam
I can't stop bitching.
About Amy going home.
I'll boycott A.I.
No- I cant do that.
I'll talk Survivor instead.
Ambah is slammin'!
Music in my head?
Song from "School of Rock" soundtrack.
Its called "Teacher's Pet"
Its a good soundtrack.
Several Oldies but Goodies.
Some from the Kid Band.
Holy living hell.
Airport connections suck clown
balls when you miss yours.
I missed AI both nights
The quirky pink-haired girls are
always first to go.
Besides Haiku day
Today is April fools day
I'm having a blast
Don't trust me today
Hey, Girls just want to have fun
Cindy Lauper Rocks
A pop culture theme?
This could be a problem, yo
I don't do A.I.
Oh shit! I'm confused!
I hope theme is not A.I.
Where's Simon Fuller?
Theme is NOT AI,
Just easiest reference
for early morning.
Kingdom Hospital -
I think its getting canceled.
Have you all heard this?
I like Stephen King -
Well, at least a little bit.
But, not that show though.
The concept was good.
It tried to be "Twin Peaks"-ish,
But it sucked at it.
Ohhh thanks Amalah
I was starting to worry
Pop Culture it is!
Theme has killed haiku.
Let's talk bad (BAD) TV shows
you secretly love.
I'll go first. I still
kinda sorta think Perfect
Strangers is funny.
Prince or The Artist
could be known as your standard
metrosexual
quality verses
quantity, pop culture too
oh the pressure Amy!
my life mimics the
Roseanne Show of the 90's
really, sad but true
How I miss Balki
Not to mention Who's The Boss
And I mourn Urkel
Saved By The Bell was
my favorite after-school
entertainment, yo
Major crush on Zach
Slater wasn't bad, either
Idolized Kelly
I stayed home to watch
TGIF in high school.
Such a dork I was.
Full House, Step By Step
and Urkel: ev'ry Friday
night. What a loser.
Am waiting for the
E! True Hollywoord Story
'bout Saved By the Bell.
Can you say the names -
First and Last of the main kids
From "Saved by the Bell"?
That was the big thing,
To try to do in college.
Who needs a degree?
TGIF! Woo!
Huge fan of Full House I was
Uncle Jesse rocked
Never saw Showgirls
"Jessie Spano naked!" my
RA described it
I watched Sabrina
She's annoying, but bright spot -
Harvey (not the witch)
facts of life, chips, alf
growing pains and family ties
i miss the 80's
Alf! Poor puppet is
now shilling for collect calls
or some 10-10 thing.
Serves Amy right, yo
Pink bitch stole my signature
"Sin Wagon" song. Bye!
I watched "Saved" last night
the one where they graduate
Why Zack Morris last?
Alphabetical
By first name? But, why? Although,
It makes good TV.
Did anyone watch
the new Judith Light show last
night? It canceled yet?
who remembers these
happy days, i loved the fonz
lavern and shirley?
thumbs up to me, yo
in honor tried coke and milk
but eww too nasty!
I was wondering
About The Stones this morning
It can't last for long
Facts of Life: my fave
Tootie, Blair, Jo, Natalie
And Mrs.Garrett
I miss that theme song
Shows today just aren't the same
No good tunes to sing
"You take the good, take
the bad, take them both, there you
have... the Facts Of Life."
I do not believe
The Stones will spawn any more
Judith Light fan art.
I saw Tootie on
Star Dates! That was kinda sad.
Date didn't know her.
Poor Bill Cosby cries!
The Huxtables. Pushed aside
Evil Judith Light
Tootie on Star Dates
Don't you have to BE a star
to be on that show?
It's a pity but
Her star fell a long time past
What has she done since?
The news reports say
"Jo", Nancy McKeon, has
Schitzophrenia
I watched the one when
Laverne thinks that she's preggers
heady sitcom stuff.
Please bring me drugs, yo.
My foot and heel are killing
I am in PAIN! Shit.
That's because the drink
Was milk and Pepsi, not Coke
I'd guess it still sucks
Poor Tootie. No one
remembers Living Single
from the 90s, yo.
And she also did
The Vagina Monologues.
So that's, um, something.
According to E!'s
website, Tootie once trashed her
Facts dressing room. Rawk.
She also dated
Todd Bridges from Diff'rent Strokes.
Ok, I'm done now.
I miss Knight Rider,
Not for David, but for KIT.
I hate David H.
I loved A-Team too.
Murdock was my Favorite.
Had a crush on FACE.
She did Vagina?
I can't imagine Tootie
talking about sex!
Tho there was one 'sode
Back seat petting led to more
but Tootie said no
I remember well
Tootie said, "Ow, that hurts me"
Penetration stopped
After that she seemed
A pure and innocent girl
No sex for Tootie
Tootie? Near-miss sex?
It can't be! She was always
so innocent, yo
Am now traumatized
Tootie saying, "Ow, please stop"
It just seems so wrong
Near-miss sex indeed
Toot wore a pink, puffy dress
It may have been prom
Come on people, KIT!
Which is better, Tootie Sex,
Or a talking Car!
I'll keep talking KIT.
I dont know about Tootie.
Knight Rider rocks, though.
Never saw that show
How did I miss Knight Rider?
Have heard I'm deprived
I remember KIT
Talking or not, no interest
I'm a girl, you know
Dawnie not miss much.
But the talking car was cool.
David H. was not.
But back to AI
I'm pissed Amy was booted
Camille stayed? That's crap.
Camille doesn't smile
She's stiff and has attitude
Eliminate her