1. What in the name of all that is holy and good would make a woman think that a pastel paisley-print, plastic snakeskin purse would ever be a good idea? Seriously. This was the ugliest purse I had ever seen in my life. I couldn't stop staring at it. She probably thought I liked it, which is a shame. Perhaps that's why she bought it. She heard women in the store gasping and screaming at The Horror Of The Ugliness and misunderstood. Seriously.
2. When traveling, one should always bring an extra pair of underwear because there is no better feeling than getting to your hotel and putting a fresh pair on.
3. I love grits. Why have I not been eating them before? I've been living in the quasi-South for four years and never tried them. Damn Yankee snobbery. The next time? Someone says to me, "Kiss my grits," I'm totally going to say, "Don't taunt me." Although I don't recall someone ever saying that to me, but you never know. Love. Grits. I wish I was eating some right now.
4. Anyone who does their Spring Break in Pensacola? Totally has a mom who watched some exposé on Spring Break and told them they couldn't go anywhere cool like Cancun or Panama City.
5. You should not be surprised when a $2 margarita turns out to be very, very crappy.
6. It's very awkward when you are driven around by someone who is totally in love with their little town and expect you to rave about how nice it is. Repeatedly. We were given the grand driving tour of Pensacola and by the end I was complimenting what a nice shade of blue the mailboxes were. Tool.
7. I borrowed my author's laptop on Wednesday to check my site and read all my nice comments. But since he could find it later I cleared his Internet history. Afterwards, I realized that he didn't have any bookmarked sites but instead just relied on Explorer's cache of visited URLs. I still feel bad about this. Especially when I told him that "just happens" sometimes.
8. In the South you get called "Honey" a lot. It's kind of nice, except when you're mad and want to tell them to fuck the fuck off.