'Bye Kurdt
My Adventures With This Guy

Stuff I Think About

I am vaguely unnerved by the seedless orange I am eating right now. It's certainly convenient, but there's something about seedless fruit that screams FREAK OF NATURE MAD FRUIT SCIENTIST MWA HA HA.

(Of course, I've met more than my fair share of sinister fruit in my time.)

Also, decaffeinated coffee? What's the deal? How do they do that? And non-dairy creamer. And especially the non-powder non-dairy creamer. The little flavored liquid Mini-Moos that look like milk, taste like milk but ARE NOT MILK. And can sit out on the counter for weeks without refrigeration. That's not right. Food should not be an oxymoron.

And that's my freak-show genetically-modified breakfast today. I brought yogurt and baby carrots for lunch. But don't even get me started on yogurt and baby carrots.



It makes me feel good to know I'm not the only one who wonders about these things. The baby carrot thing has freaked me out for years.


I think you've come up with a rule we should all live by - "food should not be an oxymoron." That's the wisest thing I've heard in a damn long time!


Okay. I'll see your baby carrots (those? I get) and raise you one salad covered in blue-cheese (that? I do not - ew).


No see the absolute worst I can think of is the Carb free bread. Bread with no carbs. How do they remove the carbs? With a laser beam or something? And then there's the sugarless-sugar that sweetens like real sugar. Void of all calories. Umm excuse me?


Oh man. I was cruising through my day all nice-like, not a worry in the world and then I read this post. Now I have a major brow furrow and my eyes are starting to twitch.



Bacos are a vegan food. How/Why would Bacos be vegetarian?

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