Housekeeping
Holy Crap, Blank Space

Comments

Chrissy

Oh holy lord God.
The little whore-to-be has
Been airbrushed, I'll bet. :P

It's all in the eyes.
Not that I still play with dolls
But those are Barbie's!

Morty's Buddy

Mustard Man's nickname
is NUG? I so want to have
a nickname like that.

Fraulein N

Check out mullet kid's
Evil grin. What revenge does
He plan for that 'do?

Shiz

Beauty pageant crown?
Aluminum foil, yo:
One roll wadded up.

spammit

the websites: Naughty
Nuns with Buns in Ovens, and
Wet, Wild & Defrocked!

Shiz

Little mullet girl
later grows up to receive
hairspray scholarship.

Shiz

Mullet kid's a boy?
that is even more screwed up
learn to fight, young man.

Chris

A fresh idea:
reality porn. "Nuns Gone
Wild - Out of Habit"

Shiz

Fishbowl green drink girl
Thinks this night out is SOOOO great;
Dates 'Joe' from New Kids.

Shiz

Green drink looks like crap
with that foam-mist thing going
It's Kool-Aid on crack.

Shiz

Fishbowl girl hopes that
later her date feels her up
Joe's a lucky man!

But really she's proud
of the best detail tonight:
her bangs look so hot

Chrissy

Shiz, speaking of that,
Know the pair who got doe for
Prom clothes of duct tape?

Shiz

Please tell the Mullets
you'd look better with shaved heads
than you do right now.

Break into their home
clip their hair while they're asleep,
throw away hair goop.

They'd wake traumatized
but after some therapy
could come out better

Shiz

Anyone know the
Mustard Man? The Mustard Man?
Lives on Drury Lane.

martha

How many cans of
Aqua Net died to support
mullet family pic?

Let's give honor to
brave hairspray's self-sacrifice
for sake of bad hair.

Shiz

DOE? I'm lost.
but I did hear the story
of duct tape duo.

martha

She won "Swan Junior?"
It's never too early for
plastic surgery!

Shiz

Time for a FUN GAME!
In which we all must decide
where Mustard Man works.

It looks like fast food,
But where? A&W?
McD's? Burger King?

Or at a Harvey's?
Hardee's? Or Jack-In-the-Box?
Stuckey's? Or Wendy's?

Or maybe he works
At local bowl-a-rama
fried food for fat folks?

Chrissy

Dough equals money
Wow I suck *laughing at self*
Female deers do, too

myllissa

Guy thinks his bike is
better than a girl- ride all
day and ride all night

Shiz

I think a moment
of silence is required
for the auqa net.

Chris

Amy, how many
Romulans did you recruit
to help you drink that?

Shiz

Seriously, yo,
It looks like a shitty place
I'd say White Castle.

Chrissy

In my opinion
It looks like a small place, hmm,
Cafeteria?

Can anyone read
The little yellow box that's
Left of his fat ass?

myllissa

Is he ugly cuz
the mullet or mullet cuz
he's so damn ugly?

Shiz

If it were not for
all the mustard and pickles
Might say Taco Bell

They can be shitty
The Taco Bell can be bad
though not with mustard.

martha

Fresh short mullet? Check.
Special occasion zit? Check.
Ready to par-tay!

Shiz

Not to mention that
Mustard's face is HUMONGOUS;
S'it gigantism?

Amalah

Jase and I sucked that
drink down in record time, Chris.
And took lots of pics.

Mindy

Schneiderman never
did get work after that show.
And his fate now? Zits.

Shiz

What a Cranium!
It's bigger than New Jersey
and twice as scary.

myllissa

Gosh darn it! This here
computer freecell game is
harder than it looks!

Gotta keep up my
good record. Don't want to break
my winning streak, yo!

martha

The ku gods would give
me much more inspiration
if I had green drink.

Dudes, now we all know
Why Amy is so funny.
Green drink long-lasting.

Shiz

Could it be? I think --
a Dairy Queen? I wonder,
Some DQs are NAST.

Mindy

Look Mama! Perfect
fanning! And I do our bar
napkins the same way!

Shiz

Lone Mullet man looks
like he's going to kill someone
and then someone else.

Chrissy

Hold the phone a sec!
Amy, the green drink was real?
Geez, I'm out of it...

martha

That's Fat Bastard from
Austin Powers movie, yo!
Now slinging mustard.

Mindy

Gah. My faux pas goes
unnoticed. I didn't know
that's really Amy!!!

Shiz

Wait. Is that a pic
of AMALAH with the drink?
snuck in fam photo?

myllissa

Mustard Man, I think
not. The orange shirt makes him look
like the Great Pumpkin.

Chrissy

It might just be me,
Bike guy has silky smooth legs
He's shaved recently!

Shiz

It totally fits:
a blonde girl in the eighties
It must be Amy.

Shiz

She's all looking at
the cute mullet waiter boy
as dad takes the pic.

Chrissy

I might be confused!
Is the lady with couldron
Amalah or not?

martha

Nun looks for priest porn
Don't doom me to hell just yet--
Humor tongue in cheek!

Amalah

A blond girl in the
eighties? Thought that pic was from
three weeks ago. Damn.

That drink must have been
crazy strong for me to lose
track of so much time.

Mindy

Amy is braver
than the rest of us. I would
never post fam pics.

Then again, my fam
pics could land me in jail, and
kids in foster care.

Sheryl

make redneck wine: stomp
burger trimmings on dirty
floor, let age, bottle.

Sheryl

Picture perfect the
heirs of Dippity-Do and
Aqua-Net empires

Fraulein N

Where's Mustard Man work?
NOT fast food joint. That's the back
of a rec center.

myllissa

The trick to the green drink
is that the bowl is filled up
with lots of icecubes.

Restaurant could be
like McDonalds and fill up
with more ice than drink

Sheryl

She’s no Harley but
the best lay I ever had.
Hope she’ll stay ‘til morn.

Sheryl

Will avoid “motor
running” cliche but none love
their bike like I do

Sheryl

If I can chug it
sirens sound, get my name on
“All Star Shit Faced” plaque

Fraulein N

Chrissy, bike guy did
Shave his legs, and that's Amy
With the Drink of Life.

Shiz

It's not just lovin'
but the cuddle time after
that the bike man loves.

Sheryl

Computer newbie
Googling “sister love” is
juicin’ my habit!

Shiz

Nun licking her lips
got it HOT for Tom Selleck
home to cold shower.

Amalah

Nun loves online games:
With Flash you can spank students
with rulers ALL DAY.

Shiz

LOL Amy!
The nuns play a spanking game
go home to drink beer.

Shiz

The truth about nuns?
Looking up a recipe
for sinful dessert.

Shiz

Which is most sinful?
Would have to be Devil's Food;
a cake for the damned.

Shiz

Back to pageant girl
I hope that when she grows up
no one gives her guns.

'Coz seriously?
How amazingly F'd up
is the Barbie life?

Shiz

Three pounds of lipstick
on such a small, little girl;
vaseline on teeth.

Surely preparing
For a flight attendant life:
Perpetual smiles.

Shiz

I would so laugh, y'all
if she became a Marine
broke mom's plastic heart.

Shiz

Mustard Man pretends
the spill was an "accident"
but he loves mustard.

Shiz

Her mommy would weep
but it would wreck her make-up
dabs eyes with tissue.

Going away gift
for the young princess marine?
pak of pink razors.

Shiz

MM wishes that
these people were not around
would roll in Mustard.

Shiz

Gift Packs for Marine?
Cosmetics, Lady Speed Stick;
really wants a beer.

Shiz

Fat man took this job
Because of all the mustard
he'd joyfully see.

Shiz

Anybody who
makes up their kid like that girl
ought to be punnished.

Oliquig

Not just vaseline
Little beauty girl looks like
False teeth inserted

Shiz

Mullet family
heads back to the trailer park
Din is franks and beans.

They're so excited
they eat their favourite meal
as they watch Springer.

Tuck little Mullet
into his/her kitchen bed
go make monkey love.

They wake to breakfast
a whole pound of bacon strips
with greasy fried eggs.

Kim

The Nun sneaks a peek
at porn on the internet
Pope's none the wiser

Shiz

False teeth is cheating
(wouldn't put it past the mom);
not fair to others.

Shiz

I swear that girl's "crown"
Is the hugest assed I've seen
and damn, damn ugly.

Oliquig

Stylist for Mullet
family is being charged with
gross incompetence

Oliquig

Well you know when they
Went back to the trailer park
They were so famous

Sheryl

Lil' queen is really
pissed she only won 3rd place
Botox conceals rage.

Shiz

How much cash-ola
did the missy princess win?
Looks like two thousand.

Hey Sweetie, use that
to get yourself a lawyer
and "divorce" your folks.

Chrissy

Man finds out that his
Bike better than his ex-wife
The bike doesn't whine

He rides her all night,
Pumps her full with fluid, and
She likes the name "Hog"

Shiz

Or maybe use cash
to run far away from home
p'raps to Bermuda

Shiz

Or just keep saving
Win every damn contest
and secretly plot

Once the pot is big
big enough to start over
get the hell out, babe.

Chrissy

So the green drink pic
Is really Amy, right? And
The family portrait?

Mindy

Botox, vaseline,
tanning spray, highlights, and lip
stick. I'm gonna heave.

Shiz

Chrissy is sickie
but sickness is welcome here
all but tampon jokes.

Shiz

Chrissy since you ask -
Nay, you almost pester, girl -
is fam-ly pic yours?

Chrissy

Oh, you make me blush!
I'm amazed by you, how do
You think of all these?

Shiz

The kid in the fam
is our little Chrissy, yo,
with the Mullet folks.

Shiz

Chrissy I work at
Canada's National Lab
for Particle and

Nuclear Physics
fixing photocopiers;
I get pretty bored.

Zoot

The nun is saying
"Now this haiku will win it!"
As she clicks "submit"

Shiz

And there have been some
nasty tampon jokes in here
they're not my style.

Shiz

Oooooooh, which one of us
is really a nun? Jilbur?
Chrissy? Heather? Zoot?

Shiz

I know it's not me
but how to convince you all?
We've just never met.

Shiz

Think I'm a nun, peeps,
if that's what you really want;
a nun who says 'damn'!

Chrissy

Ha, very funny.
My hair is all blonde, teased
Higher in the front.

Chrissy

Canada don't have
A Nuclear Physics lab
Must be unemployed?

Shiz

Though the idea
of a simple life apart
has sometimes appealed

Out in the country
a quiet and simple life
I could dig that, yo.

Shiz

So Chrissy's the mom
from the Mullet Family
all blonde and frizzed out.

The comments to this entry are closed.