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May 2004
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July 2004

Haiku Smackdown : Mullets, Drunks & Internet Clichés

Website crashes, long weekends deter us not...the Smackdown lives on, yo. We're disorganized and a tad drunk, but still we soldier on for 'ku. Onward, brave 'kuers! Through mullets, white trash and drunks! Lay some smack, bitches! (Click on a thumbnail for full version.) Read more →


Christ, this site is a MESS. Sporadic updates, lame topics, and where did those stains on the carpet come from? (Yes, Miss Doxie has a HILARIOUS new entry today so I've got a Journaler Inferiority Complex thing going on. I'd hate her if I didn't love her so.) Anyway. First, there will be no advice column today, because nobody sent in any questions. (Or any good not-stupid questions, rather.) Thus, the whole idea peaked, jumped the shark and flamed out in just under a month. So apparently, I have the power to solve EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WORLD in just four advice columns. TAKE THAT, Dear Abby. (A live reunion show is planned, however, so you can send any questions to amy[at] and they'll be held and cherished until that time.) Second, the Haiku Smackdown site is down, we know. WordPress ate it. The same WordPress that ate last week's Smackdown. Future of blogging, my ass. In the meantime, the Smackdown will be HERE tomorrow. And hopefully some people will show up. I'm thinking White Trash 'ku again... Third, Crate & Barrel's delivery guys are lazy, lazy bitches. We were supposed to get our couch today, but the guys showed... Read more →

The One With The Cicadas

So we had another power outage at work today. Nothing major, but just long enough for me to lose today's post. Which was about cicadas (or CICADAS!!! if you live in the thick of the panic). So I'm taking the power outage as a sign that maybe the world will survive without another goddamn post about the CICADAS!!! Especially since my only original thought about the CICADAS!!! is that the CICADAS!!! are fucking stupid and as a species, totally deserve to die out. I was prepared for the annoyance and the can't-open-my-car-windows-cicadas-will-eat-me factor. But I certainly was not prepared for the carnage. After waiting for 17 years, they emerge with exactly three items on their to-do list. Crawl out of weird shell-thing, make a lot of noise and mate. And for hundreds upon hundreds of them, these three tasks are just way too complicated. Half of them seem to crawl out of their shell-things only to end up upside down on the sidewalk where they flap and twitch and eventually get stepped on or just cooked in the sun. Squish. Another third of them decide that car tires are a nice place to perch or oh look, a car window... Read more →