Well Then
Ask Amalah Redux

Six Degrees of Updatieness

1) I'm back.

2) Dad is doing well. He was discharged from the hospital this afternoon after his blood pressure returned to normal and is home. We made hamburgers. And came up with cover stories for the crazy-ass wound on his head. Knife-fight in Mexican bar. Rollerblading. Home-run ball from the Phillies. Frying pan from crazy wife.

3) My mom is doing well too. We took her out for dinner last night and then crawled around the carpet with Oxy-Clean and damp sponges cleaning up bloodstains. And debated what a Luminol spray-down would reveal and who would go to jail for it. So pretty much a typical Corbett-family gathering.

4) We also tried recreating my dad's fall and could not, for the love of life or physics, figure out how he ended up with the crazy-ass wound. We think he hit the doorknob and fell so fast he beat the blood to the floor, so to speak, as the bloodstains did not match any hypothesis we could concoct. There was much fake-falling and fake-lying-around-on-the-floor and fake-vacuuming. Also faily typical of Corbett family get-togethers.

5) Ben Affleck was in the hospital on J-Lo's wedding day because of chronic bronchitis. Blah. I feel misled. By InTouch Weekly. If I cannot trust InTouch Weekly, who do I have left in this world to turn to?

6) Why, I turn to you, the good people of the Internet. You are all awesome. Thank you very much for your kind and loavey comments and emails. My parents were awfully darn touched and a little bit closer to believing that y'all are not a collective of crazed stalkers who will one day kill me. You've done the Internet proud, peeps.

Comments

bond girl

1) yay!
2) Thank goodness!!
3) What'd she have?
4) Damn. Who would've thought watching that many episodes of CSI wouldn't pay off here??
5) UsWeekly, of course. Duh.
6) I missed the bandwagon of well wishes, but I'm awfully glad to hear Dad is a-okay.

Zoot

stealing bond girl's idea - but without the parentheses
1. Good. I missed you.
2. Glad he is going home. Tell his crazy Frying Pan wife to be more careful next time.
3. Oooh..but would Warrick be using the Luminol? If so - I'm there.
4. Your family sounds fun.
5. What a freakin' let down.
6. Um. I am a crazy stalker. I'm sorry, did I not tell you that?

Monica

So glad you're back and your Dad is doing well! And, um, since InTouch let you down, I have to ask -- have you seen the photos of Ben Affleck looking through the US Weekly that featured JLo's wedding? They're classic.

Mom

Hi: Just to let all you on-liners out there, your faith in your Monarch and her King is not misplaced. Who else would drive hours to get home to help clean up blood stains. Hug, hug and hug some more to reassure a more of less crazed Mom who frankly was falling apart! Dinner too not less. Amalah is a wonderful daughter, a wonderful woman and, a wonderful writer!!!!! Thank you Amy and Jason (and Max for letting you come. I owe you big time

Mir

Excellent news! I think I would totally dig a typical Corbett family thing... 'cept for, you know, the blood part. Let your folks know that your dad's head wound has has the important impact of keeping me from actually stalking you. (Why yes, I am the master of finding the silver lining in the compost pile....)

Sheryl

glad your dad is doing better. much more interesting story than anything in in touch weekly.

Heather

Hey...I'm glad to hear your dad's ok. It's truly amazing to hear about everything he's fought through. And I love that your family does CSI impressions. Ah, good ol' luminol.
*thinks happy thoughts in your general direction* (which is? oh right, east. ok.) *turns around, faces east* *concentrates*

Beth

Glad you're back and your mommy thinks your wonderful! And that your daddy is doing well.

martha

So glad to hear that he's home! And I want to be a member of your family. Because your family? Sounds fun!

Nicole

Phew! I am so glad that your father is okay. How scary. I think you should tell people that the wound is from a crazed wife with a frying pan. That's a fun one!

Claire

I'm so glad to hear that you're back and that everything's all right. Your family's instant replays sound great, and not unlike something my own family would do. Only, if we did it, we'd be interrupted by the dog running around, barking, and jumping all over the fake-wounded. And by many pauses for snacks.

Anyway, I'm so happy your dad's doing well!

Roxie

Amy I've been thinkin' about you since last night. Your post made me cry. I am so glad that pappa's doing well. You're family sounds fun and a wee bit twisted, which is just the way a family should be! Take care!

Lee

So this prolly a bad time to ask if "Ask Amalah" will be back tomorrow....

I'm glad everyone is in good spirits and doing well..

Lee

So this prolly a bad time to ask if "Ask Amalah" will be back tomorrow....

I'm glad everyone is in good spirits and doing well..

Lee

So this prolly a bad time to ask if "Ask Amalah" will be back tomorrow....

I'm glad everyone is in good spirits and doing well..

lizardek

I think Lee needs some advice pretty badly. :D

Hurray for your dad, and your family sounds like mine :)

Chris

I'm glad all's well and your father is okay. We were pulling for you guys. I sense a tv series though - Corbett Scene Investigations! Seriously? That could be cool. It would work well with the series Dawnie and I are planning - CSIron Chef.

Dawnie

Yes! The Corbett Family plus the Iron Chefs? No crime would go unsolved! No stone unturned! No surface un-Luminoled!

Seriously, though, I'm glad to hear that your dad's home and doing better, and that the rest of your family is OK, too. Also, OxyClean rocks the hizzouse for getting out tough stains. I mean, I've only used it on cat pee, but if it can destank my closet? I'm guessing it can also clean up the blood.

Also, I think I would love to hang out with your family as well. They sound like fun, even when your dad is recovering from a Mexican bar fight.

myllissa

Doin' a quick dance cause everybody's okay! oh and In Touch is outta touch. I use E! on line to get all my info. They know what's really going on.

samantha

so glad to hear that your dad is back on track, despite mysterious injury. Can I just say that I have moved beyound the realm of InTouch? I will read, gasp, Star! It has awesome pictures! So much better since evil Bonnie Fuller took it over.

Sarah

So glad to hear your Dad is doing better and that you got in some quality family time despite the circumstances....thanks for the update!

Sweety

I'm glad your father is okay. I love it that you went all CSI there :) It's my favorite show to watch (CSI and CSI Miami).

Fraulein N

Glad your dad's feeling better. Personally, I think you should go with the Mexican bar knife-fight story. Or, you know, the one where your dad hits the floor before his blood does. That's pretty damn amazing, when you think about it.

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