days of wine and fucking roses or whatever
July 08, 2004
Guess who's a little bit drunk, bitches.
GO ON, GUESS.
So first of all, I loave wine,. And also Futurama. TiVo these reruns, like, for real. I did not realize how brilliant this show was until this very minute.
Second of all, guesss what. We're moving! Maybe. We're going to buy a house (and no, for real, A HOUSE) in the ghetto/murder/kill part of our beautiful nation's capital. Or is it Capital? Capitol? WEhere the fuck is my AP Style Guide?
Anyway. Jason is sitting here going through seventy billion realtor.com printouts of houses right now and there's this one? I totally want to make out with. Yes. I want to make out with a house. Because it's beautiful and has a porch and a two-car garage and a fucking WHIRLPOOL and a fireplace and is just so cute I want to put it in my pocket.
If I had pockets, which I don't right now, for I am wearing this French Connection skirt that hasn't fit since the day after I bought it that NOW FITS and MY ASS IS AWESOME PEOPLE. It;s like a size 2 or something. And by "something" I mean a size 4 which is probably a size 8. But still: AWESOME.
Am skinny and hot. Because of the South Beach diet. And also because of The Crazy. But am calling a doctor tomorrow to get new Crazy Pills I swear. (HJi Mom!)
Also: duuuudes. Other thoughts I'm having right now:\
1) Max is so fucking cute he is BREAKING MY HEART.
2) Especially since I know if we move to murderville Northeast DC I will need to buy a big dog and Max? Will fucking hate that.
3)Maybe Zoot will give me her new dog? Becuase OH MY GOD. That is the cutest dog ever.
4) And Zoot will totally want to give me her dog once she gets the birthday gift I sent her, because it is AWESOME.
5) i WAAAAAAANT THAT DOG.
6) Whoops. Caps lock.
7) My birthday is not until December 27th but I would accept giofts anhytime. Check the fucking About page for ideas
8)I am getting drunker by the minute.
Anyway. That is all that I am thinking of. Except I am also thinking of this Izuzu Rodeo I was behind at this one long red light today? Which had like, ten bumper stickers on it? That were all Wicca-related? And I totally wrote all the bumper stickers down on this little stack of Post-OIts in my purse while at a red light. Becuase I like to keep notes for possible amalah.com entries and apparently I was seriously considering writing a post with some "Didja ever notice how Wiccans have so many bumper stickers on their cars?" or some such total NONSENSE or whatecver.
Anyway. The one bumper sticker I saw today said "I'm an AMERIWICCAN." And another said, "I BELIEVE IN DRAGONS, GOOD MEN AND OTHER MYTHICAL CREATURES." wHICH WAS KIND OF SEXIST WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. whoops. CAPS lock again.
Anwya. Wiccans need cleverer bumper stickers. I would think of some right now becuase I am totally clever enough but I can't right now because I'm drunk. Also tehere's another Futurama rerum on now. Fuck all y'all.