Best Weekend Plans Ever
Freaking Out By the Numbers

The Inner Sanctum, Cont'd.









(insert timpani-type-banging here)

Yes, this is my make-up case. And this is its story.

tarte I have a lot of cool stuff in there. Like this Tarte cheek stain, which is sort of like a big jellified crayon for your face and makes your cheeks look all rosy instead of that fish-belly death-white color they usually are. You kind of look like you've been standing at a bus stop for awhile on a windy day. And it only cost $26.

tonyntinaI also have this Tony & Tina Herbal Eye Base stuff, which is perhaps the greatest innovation in neutral-colored cream-type stuff ever. You put it on your eyelids before your eyeshadow and it keeps the shadow from smearing or doing that funky eyelid-sweat thing. I keep a travel-sized version in my purse in case of herbal eye-related emergencies. (No, actually, it works as a totally kick-ass concealer too.) $22.

sparkle glitter

Ooh!  Ooh! This stuff is fun. It's my Urban Decay Menage a Trois set of body glitters. Lickable body glitters, y'all. Heh. It's awesome because it's trashy. But because it cost $38, it's like, upscale trashy. (My sister bought me these for Christmas, along with my Care Bear days-of-the-week underwear. Which are thongs, by the way, to answer the burning question many of you just HAD to ask. Care Bear cotton thongs with sparkly waistbands. I am wearing Sunday's pair today, but under protest because of the aforementioned Cheer Bear/Funshine Bear conundrum.)


Time to move on to The Gallery of Regrettable Products, Volume II.

clear-whatI went through a phase when I wanted to be all natural and dewy. So I bought clear mascara. What? You put it on and it looks didn't put it on. Brilliant! At least brilliant of Sephora, as they got me to hand over $8 for a tube of nothing.

skinlightsAlso from my dewy phase: Revlon Skinlights "Face Illuminator."  I'm pretty sure this was bought at a late-night drugstore on a munchies run. It's supposed to make your face shiny. And it does. You get a healthy, natural shine -- similar to the shine you could get after a long night of sleeping on a pillow of French fries. Cost? No idea, although I do remember there was some kind of two-for-one deal on Doritos at the same store that night.

purpleDude, step AWAY from the purple. Especially glittery purple. I distinctly remember buying this after the first Charlie's Angels movie came out. I also bought purple sunglasses with a little rhinestone heart on the one lens too, so I was obviously quite deranged. Luckily, this is by Maybelline, so it was probably $3 or something. Still not the 99-cent bargain that is the Wet N' Wild Clearance Bin, but still.

eye-polishThis stuff is called "eye polish." I still don't know what it is. When I tried to wear it? I sort of looked like that woman from the Drew Carey Show with the crazy makeup. It also made my eyelids STICK to themselves whenever I blinked. So good thing I went ahead and bought TWO of them.

wetslicksThe single worst lip gloss purchase ever made. And, as you'll in just a moment, I've purchased quite a few. This color, while a lovely wine-ish shade in the tube, goes on magenta. And smeary and sticky and uneven and guaranteed to end up all over your teeth and in your hair and to make you look like the opening credits of the Rocky Horrow Picture Show.

glossies(And I wasn't kidding about the glosses. Here's my collection of glosses, balms and other assorted Things That Make Your Lips Shiny, because non-shiny lips are ugly and un-sexy. And even though I just took this picture this very morning, it is out-of-date because I bought yet another lip gloss at the grocery store today. But it was in the Wet N' Wild 99-cent clearance bin! And look! See how I'm almost out of that Chanel one in the center? That one costs $27. I'm cutting back! I'm behaving!)

(I also lined up my lipsticks for a group shot, but it was too horrifying. 19 tubes. I wear maybe two of them.)

Aaaaannnnddd...that's pretty much about it. Oh, I could go on and on about my really nice Sonya Kashuk brushes that I treat like shit and all my little tubes of sparkles and the bottomless black hole at the bottom of the case, but I won't, because I am sick to death of uploading pictures. And sick to death of this post, actually. I mean, what's next...a photo essay about my sock drawer?

Well, now that you mention it...



Clear mascara? Is for taming your eyebrows, if you have wild eyebrows. Which I'm guessing you do not. But if you are, say, descended from Eastern European Hairy Jewish People, and your eyebrows Must Look Perfect, the clear mascara can be used to "fix" them in perfect position. Or at least, this is what I remember from when I used it in college, back before I knew how to properly groom my eyebrows (read: pluck and trim).


To begin with, my makeup case is worse than yours. Feel better? Possibly because up until I moved here, I was a freelance makeup artist? So, you have committed no sin in my eyes, and me, I have a shitload of stuff too, also known as the good, the bad, and the "WHAT THE HELL? WAS I ON CRACK WHEN I BOUGHT THIS??!"!! I have my share of makeup distasters too. Like that wine-y lipgloss that is really magenta in disguise? Your comment cracked me up! I've SO been there, done that!

Purple shadow, especially in that lilac shade, CAN be done without looking like a hooker. trick, apply only to lids, use a very pale matte neutral pink/peach (real neutral) shadow from crease to just below eyebrow... blend blend, blend. A peachy toned blush, and the trick (!)keep lips a pale, dewy, glossy (or not), non SHIMMERY nude or neutral peach. People ALWAYS pair purple with PINK! NO! NO! NO! Unless you are a nordic ice blond, and sometimes then... NO!! (Aren't you glad you know me now??)I'm having flashbacks from when I used to give makeup lessons and do makeup for MAC.

That Chanel lip gloss that is almost empty? I HAVE THE SAME ONE!! (loave it) Excecpt..... mine was FREEEEEE!!!!Aren't you dying to know how I did that?? Well, I got that one free, and another one, colored, AND a Chanel lipstick too! (Premier Rouge, a gorgous BLOOD RED!LURVE IT!)MY brother in law is a makeup artist.... he does the designer shows in New York twice yearly! He has done all the big designers, but when he did Chanel, bless them, they gave him goodies!! When he comes to visit me, I always get free goodies, Usually this kind of stuff and MAC! Hey! There is no SEPHORA here. So, at least I'm getting my fix somehow.

Oh, and I still say don't waste your money on expensive mascaras!(Cause I have, so don't bother) L'Oreal makes the best! Don't belive me? When I would go to MAC training school for the new collections, we would all be packing Volumunous or another L'Oreal Mascara INSTEAD OF THE MAC ONE!Longitude is good for softer lashes, (daytime)Lash Architect for VA VA VA VOOM eveing lashes. Volumunous for ALL THE DAMN TIME CAUSE I LOAVE IT! FAB!FAB!FAB!

Oh, and lickable glitter? That SO ROCKS!!!!

(Should I make this a weekly column on my blog do you think??)


By the way.. you have the most gorgeous throat and decollage (sp?)! I always wished mine was like that! *smacks down green-eyed monster*


Amalah, Amalah, Amalah. I too have an addiction to shiny lips. I sit at my desk which has four lipglosses, I carry my purse which has three. My make-up drawer, has nine, and my bedroom end table has three. Apparently in case I have a middle of the night lip emergency. I even keep two in a votive candle holder in my living room. I loave me the lip gloss.
(and I have an emergency one in my car, just in case.)


ha ha ha ha... your post is cracking me up. my boyfriend told me the other day that i'm not allowed to buy anymore makeup until i am done with the stuff that i've got now. um... HELLO?!

so i went to bloomingdales and bought yet another lip liner and lip gloss... heh! but this one was different! it tastes like cherry and has a "cooling sensation!" (i think that they tell the lancome people to say that... 'cause each one of them did... whatever... they sold me!)


I am loving these posts!! Especially the craziness that is makeup collecting, and the gallery of regrettable products. It's de-cluttering time in the Psycho household, so a post similar to this may be popping up on my blog (except I will try to carbon date some of the products that haven't seen the light of day in YEARS).



That thing fits in your purse?


I am also a lipgloss fiend. I tend to focus my obsession on Stila and Perscriptives. But? Burt's Bees has this new "tinted" lipgloss that is still all pepperminty (more so than their previous round-things of it) that I love.
Also? I have this stuff from Perscriptives that is called "lash Darkener". It's like mascara-lite. When you want to feel all natural, but not so natural that you don't have eyelashes. I love it.
So glad you posted this entry...and that I'm not the only one with an embarassing collection!


I just started going through my old makeup collection (which consisted of a few nice pieces that were just about out as well as tons of freebies). I threw out a whole bunch of crap I never use. But I've been buying new, nice make up recently too. So far I've been working on my eyes. Eventually I'm going to have to break down and buy some nice foundation of some sort. Any suggestions?

Suzanna Danna

Hi, my name is Suzanna Danna and I... TOO.. am a severe pack-rat/make-up whore. This weekend?... yeah, this weekend... the hubster purchased over $250 of Clarins products for me... Why? Because he loaves me... and is my supplier.

Oh, and hello to the glossy, shiny lip people. I have 4 tubes of vitamin E stick in my house for lip emergencies. One in the purse, one in the husband's night stand, one in my night stand and one in the bathroom. It is all healthy and stuff. I put it on every night before I go to sleep. Every night. Dewy lips? Check.

Also. This is the best. There is this stuff... called lip venom, it is made by DuWop. They have it at Sephora, Nordstrom's and in small boutiques all over. They have clear, they have colored, they have SPARKLES! This stuff is the bomb. It has cinnamon (sp?) oil in it and it tingles (read: burns the shit out of the 1st 5 times) and makes your lips all bee-stung and pouty. Me? Yep, I have two tubes.


Suzanna Danna

Hey Nicole?... Suggestion for good foundation. Get yourself a foundation brush from Sephora or Ulta3 and then get some luscious foundation from Clarins. Really, go get some now.

I have combo skin... and this stuff is so rockin that I can use the bare minimum and still look flawless... not all pancakey and plastic.


i am sooo jealous of all of your amazing makeup - I love Sephora, and know that if I had a physical store nearby, I would drop lots of money there on a regular basis - for some reason when you order online it takes the thrill out of makeup indulgence.
I wish I could join the leagues of lip gloss devotees, but when you've got big honkin lips like mine - plus longish hair that whips into your lips and then smears lip gloss across your cheek - you just stay clear of the lip gloss. I do adore Nars lipstick in Gipsy - perfectly red! Also a big fan of Carmex!
And the whole Voluminous issue - AMEN! It is the only thing I've used for YEARS - everyone says they swear by Maybelline's Great Lash, but NO. Voluminous is where it is at, hookah!


Oh my god. I loave you all. Let's have a sleepover and give each other makeovers and pedicures and talk about boys. Please?


Oooh....and play those scary games like "Bloody Mary" and "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board"...

Or were my friends the only ones who played those sick games.

Probably. I'm so going to hell.

Suzanna Danna

You aren't the only one Zootie! :)


Amalah? "spot light's on you babe"


Someone say sleepover? And my, that outfit looks familiar :-)


SLUMBER PARTY!??? HELL YEAH! Somebody bring the Ouija board too! And the magic 8 ball! Sounds like Chris is wanting an invite! You can come, but no guarantees that you won't wake up manicured and pedicured (and I mean BRIGHTLY COLORED NAILPOLISH HONEY!) and "stuff" in the morning!*snicker*

I must confess, I HATE Maybelline's GREAT LASH MASCARA. I've never understood the big deal about it.

*note to self, Must, MUST buy shitloads of Nars, Stila, Lip Venom (cause It sounds like fun!)and what ever else I can fall in loave with. GO RAPE SEPHORA on vacation* I'm so dead when hubby finds out when I get home. Between that and my sexy shoe addiction.......

Jasara, You are the bomb honey! Sounds like something I would do!(Ok, I have done) Tell me no, I go out and do it. YOU GO GRRL!

CARMEX. Loave it. Hey, I tried this hand cream from The Body Shop. You must all go run out and buy it NOW!!!! It is called HEMP Hand Protector. Yeah, Hemp. Hehehehehe. I'm in loave. And the packaging is COOL. Looks like a tube of oil paint! It is made with Hemp oil, but damn me if it doesn't smell like a fresh joint. Hands are soft, not greasy at ALL, and "protected". *sniffs hands repeatedly* WHAT????(Ok, my best friends mom was a total hippy and smoked pot incesantly)She was uber cool. Of course, she is also the one that hooked us up with fake id's so we could all go to clubs dancing together too! I miss her. She looked just like Tina Turner's blond back up singer from the Lets Stay Together video. Hair and all!

Body Product Recommendation: L'oreal, body scrub. In the tub. The bright green one.(Sorry, name escapes me at the moment) That's the STUFF honeys! Smells so goooood, leaves your skin exfoliated, soft and smelling fresh. Follow with the body lotion from same range. SILKY SKIN. IMMEDIATELY. So damn soft you'll be.... well.... um, touching...YOUR SKIN!


I want a case *pout*

But I'm afraid it wouldn't fit in my bathroom :-/ Or anywhere else in my apartment, for that matter :-/


Amy my love, after we chatted, I dumped out my purse to see what was in it. Not my case, my PURSE. Just lookie.


Oh, my GOD! Step away from the useless makeup. If you're not going to wear it, THROW IT AWAY! I had to tell myself to de-clutter at one point, and it is SO RELAXING. :)

BUT if I am invited to the sleepover? Before Aug 15th? I'm totally there. :)

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