Haiku Smackdown: Yadda Yadda Yadda
July 01, 2004
Or, Freaks, Geeks, Creeps & Weirdos (And One Cute Cat Thrown In To Break Up The Scariness)
It's Haiku Smackdown time again, folks. You know what to do, right? No? Okay, here are the rules. And here are the pictures.
Now go 5-7-5 your cold little dark hearts out...
(Pssst...that high school pic? Michael Moore. Carry on.)
Also: check out the
Modern décor: black and white
Leather spells class, yo.
Billboard makes me think:
Oh god no. Here comes sequel:
The Swan Goes Down South.
Lamar looks away.
He knows the cruel power of
The sexy pimp gaze.
Next exposé should
Be on what the hell happened
Between then and now.
Woman checks out jar
Like she's ready to buy. Um,
Back up, lady. Sheesh.
"On The Scene"? What scene?
Where the hell is this? I don't
Want to end up there.
The hair distracts you
Now, but check out Moore's cave
brow in that picture.
Sorry, should have read:
The hair distracts you
Now, but check out Moore's caveman
brow in that picture.
Pimp in chiffon lies
in wait for date, rraarrr. Please let
champagne be poisoned.
What is it about
Freaky little people sex?
Always turns me on.
WOW Diana Ross
You really let yourself go!
Put on some makeup!
Folks thought Rasputin
immortal, long list of ways
they tried to kill him.
But he knew the truth.
that’s why formaldehyde was
his favorite cocktail.
OH my god! Ewww. Gross.
Star Jones is really a man.
Enjoy the view, yo.
Dude, Emmanuel.
When you get up to heaven?
Biggie gone kill you.
Time to swim with kids
'Sputin and me alike, no
worries 'bout shrinkage.
What you can't see is
Word document filled with ten
million lines of threes
Objects behind glass
may appear bigger than true
formaldehyde swells.
Ah, the trauma of
Lacking opposable thumbs:
No porn for you, cat.
Mighty Mighty... pimp?
Don't you wish that his brick house
would hold *some* things back?
Like a friend of mine says,
Stuff's just funnier with Ed-
McMahon. Even ALF.
Like a friend of mine says,
Stuff's just funnier with Ed-
McMahon. Even ALF.
Rasputin's penis.
The true source of his powers.
Take that, Tommy Lee!
Which is scarier?
Pimp Daddy's sexiest pose,
or the couch behind?
Rick James is scary
when laying on the floor with
his member showing.
Kitty is tired
from way too much e-Bay-ing
with Master's credit card.
Oh Good Lord above!
What a scary thought to have
that schlong on my man!
Who in the world wants
-Ouch!-vaginal surgery?
Rasputin's girlfriend?
How far back in the
archives did you have to dig
to find Ed and Alf?
Michael Moore - ugly
then and now. Get a bag to
cover his head, quick!
Michael Moore - ugly
then and now. Get a bag to
cover his head, quick!
Webster/Li'l Kim, ew!
Now I'll have to poke out my
mind's eye with a stick!
Since Alf likes pussy,
he's Mastermind behind
rejuvination.
Dang! 'Ku-ing is the
Hardest work I've done all day!
Back to the grindstone!
Oh, crap-- I spelled rejuvenation wrong...
Lil Kim and Webster
Under the "Lets Get Small" tag
Who writes this crap, yo?
The cat can't believe
He ate the whole fucking mouse
A bad stomach ache
Where can I buy the
Outfit SUPERFREAK has on?
Gigolo’s R Us!
Once again, let me
remind you: someone had to
Take all these pictures!
Not so bad for most,
But just imagine coaching
The pimp on his pose.
Oh, Anastasia
I can never again watch
That DONG freaks me out!
He must be thinking
I must be on a bender
Johnny looks like ALF
Calling number now
The Genuines might need this
after baby comes.
A senior picture
it always comes back to haunt
but he's not aged well.
Ed McWonders: when
did I arrive on Melmac?
Where did Johnny go?
please God don't let me
need rejuvenation for
those years as a whore
as she looks at dick
she wonders if it might fit
to fix the faucet
Pussy past out cold.
Too Much cybering for puss,
Pussy getting old!
Now I see the theme
it's about dongs and hoohas
Alf eats puss in boots
L'il Kim asks Webster
with her sheepish little grin
"Hey, is it in yet?"
Please do not worry
Audie will be forgiven
but pictures would help.
I wanted to say
Cocks and Pussies are the theme
I had to filter.
I called the number.
She said rejuv's all I need
to get my freak on.
Said some women need
A little "refresher course"
after their babies.
Is Hooha a word?
Hooha rejuvination?
Maybe I should call.