See Amalah. See Amalah Lose Her Shit.
Hold Please


Oh my god.




Judith Light. AUTOGRAPHED.

I have yet to stop screaming. I don't believe I ever will.

Blessings and Loave and the Eternal Light of Judith to Martha.


And Cyn pointed out a very valid oversight on my part. OF COURSE there were pictures of the Drunk Ho's and Ugly Dudes at the bar last night. OF COURSE.

I just left them on the camera, at home. Where I am right now, so look! Pictures!

(Click for the full versions, yo.)


From left to right: Bald Grey Polo Shirt is Alpha Male who, for some weird reason, was the one who got all the lapdance action AND was spotted making out with both women. He swapped ladies when Black Talbot's Biz Casual went to the bathroom. Black Talbot's Biz Casual lost her lap to Fluffy Hair (in red, seen here doing a little seat cha-cha). Guy In Jacket just sort of stood there, just like that, all night. Non-Bald Grey Polo Shirt was the owner of the laptop that Black Talbot's Biz Casual spilled a beer on. He wore a lot of pagers and phones.  The beer belonged to Tacky Golf Shirt (not pictured), who was Black Talbot's Biz Casual's back-up guy after she lost out on Alpha Male.


"Look at meeee! I am strong! Feel my muscles! Wheee!"


Alpha Male: *hot tongue action*

Fluffy Hair: *about to vomit*

Guy In Jacket: *kind of thinks these people are jackasses*

Non-Bald Grey Polo Shirt: Heh. Heh. Yeeeah.


It's the elusive Tacky Golf Shirt Guy! Totally working the fanny pack too.

(And while this picture looks tame? Please bear in mind that I seriously watched this woman lick this man's face. Yes. LICK.)

Okay, okay, enough with meanness. They were wasted, they were loud, they were all married and vaguely squicky.

But we were also drunk. Luckily, instead of licking random guys' faces, I just staged elaborate productions using the plastic bulls that came with our mojitos.


Yellow Bull: How YOU doin'?

Green Bull: *about to vomit*



Amy where aaaaaaaare you??? I am inebriated and totally want to witness the full bull drama!


Autographed Judy? Drunk ugly people and bullfighting? Sweet jebus, that's one action filled post!


I still giggle at the word Mojito,because I have to purposely pronounce aloud incorrectly. Say it with me, "Moe-Gee-toes".


great writing!!!this is wonderful.

Scarlett Cyn

HOLY SHIT! The autograph. WHOA! Nice pic of Judith, that! Nuff exclamations for you? I didn't think so!!!!!!!!!!


Thank you Amy my darling for the pictures.

Fuck. A. Duck. Skanky drunk hos. Why skanky when they are so properly attired you may ask? Clothes do not make the woman, my darlings... that is why, They merely are a disguise for the inner skank.

I too am at a loss as to why bald alpha male is getting all the hot and heavy tongue action. Boggles the mind, it does. And the innocent pic of golf shirt guy? Who would ever imagine the face licking that happened after? Shudder,gag.

Why do I feel the overwhelming urge to attack that ho in the red dress with copious amounts of Extra-Strength Frizz-Eaze? You can't see em, but belive me when I tell you, my fingers are twitching, aching to get at that....mop.

Fraulein N

Oh, lord. Oh, cannot. stop. laughing. Heeeeeee. Because, for real? That fanny pack. God, no. Just ... no. You cannot devise an excuse for this man, because think about it: he put that on BEFORE he was was drunk. Then he went out of the house. To a bar. Where there were people with eyes. I can't comprehend it.


i can just imagine him dropping phone number into the fanny pack.
That mental image is scarier than 'The Village'.

Suzanna Danna

I totally had a dream about a cardboard cut out of Judith Light last night. Said cut out may also have been from a 7-11 on the corner of Parker and Custer in my dream ... and it may (or may not) have been a cardboard cut out of a porn-star-type Judith Light. All naked.

I may, or may not require sedation to go to sleep Ever. Again.


You are blessed. Blessed by the light of all that is Judith.


Now the question is...does that skin cream she's been selling lately work REALLY well, or is she benefiting just a bit from a soft focus and a bit of retouching? Only her photographer knows for sure.

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