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I Should Be Fired For This Post

Wednesday Advice Recipedown

(Or, the Wednesday Recipe Smackdown, but isn't "Recipedown" a funny word?)

No advice column today, at least not in the traditional sense. Instead? Something better. As the old saying goes, "You give a girl a hair product, her hair looks awesome for one day. You teach a girl how to make homemade Reese's chocolate peanut butter cups, her already-awesome hair will distract everyone from her huge, fat ass."

So exactly. I'm going to teach y'all how to make homemade chocolate peanut butter cups that taste just like the Reese's ones, only better, because they're a lot more difficult. Except they're easy!

(I lie! I lie! Why do I tell such lies?)

Some context: today is Chocolate Day at work. Which is pretty much just what it sounds like. It's our annual Day Of All Things Chocolate For Which To Stuff Our Faces With. Everybody makes or bakes or buys something chocolatey and we eat it all. All day.

Here's the spread this year:


I think I kind of want a salad.

The last couple Chocolate Days I was super-ambitious to out-chocolate people and made "Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Clones" from an old seekrit family recipe that I found online by Googling "fake peanut butter cups" and clicking on the first link.

This year, I casually mentioned to our Office Bubbe, the Organizer and Reigning Queen of Chocolate Day, that I didn't think I was up for making them and might just buy some candy.

I might as well have said that I was thinking of rounding up some puppies and drowning them in front of everybody while an American flag burned in the background. There was wailing. There was begging. There was much ego stroking.

These things are THAT GOOD.

So I made them. And took pictures. Ta. Da.


First, get your ingredients together.


For 24 cups, you will need: cupcake/muffin cups, two bags of milk chocolate chips, one huge honkin' tub of reduced-fat creamy peanut butter, powdered sugar, salt and two bottles of wine. Also Pringles.

Next, cut the tops off the muffin cups so they're shallower. Eat Pringles.


This is mostly for cosmetic reasons. Just like clipping a dog's ears, only not as stupid.

Then melt the chocolate chips, one bag at a time, in the microwave. Drink wine.


2 minutes at 50% power should do it. Stir very gently and let the bowl sit for a minute or two. If additional meltage is needed, do 30 seconds at a time at 50% power. Be careful because burned chocolate smells so very, very bad and you will just have to throw the bowl out because you'll never get it clean. Bah.

Using a spoon, spread chocolate into the muffin cups, coating the bottom and sides with a wafer-thin layer. Use the back of the spoon to coax the chocolate up the sides.


Put the cups in a metal muffin baking pan and stick in fridge to harden. Ignore plaintive stares from dog.

Mix two cups peanut butter with one cup powdered sugar. Add half teaspoon salt.


This is hard work. Betty Crocker must have had fucking arms of steel.

Make sure to taste-test your work.


I don't really like a lot of my coworkers, but you may choose a more hygenic sampling method.

Melt the peanut butter in the microwave for one minute at full power.

Spoon into the cups. Leave a little room at the top for the last layer of chocolate, brainiac.


Put in fridge for one hour. Drink more wine. Watch Gilmore Girls.


Did you know if you hit pause on the TV at the right moment you can totally pretend to be hanging out with Lorelai and Rory? It's true.

To wreak full intestinal havoc on one's self, take a break from the Pringles and peanut butter and chocolate sampling for a burrito with hot salsa.


Remelt remaining chocolate for 30 seconds at 50% power and spoon a thin layer on top of hardened peanut butter. Stick back in fridge for final hardening process.


It's also way more fun if you forget about this step until 11:30 at night.

Take to work and have everybody make a fuss over you and your kickass candy-making skills.

And after they've all been eaten, post pictures of yourself licking the peanut butter on the Internet. Your work is done.



Oh that is just freakin' AWESOME!

Thanks! And the pictures totally help me out. I wouldn't have gotten the Gillmore Girls part right without the graphic representation.

And I totally heart peanut butter cups. I need to do this. Like now, I think I'm going to take the rest of the day as a sick day and just go play with peanut butter, wine, and chocolate.


I would totally screw that up. Every time I melt chocolate in the microwave it ends in tears and wondering why and a lot of wasted chocolate. God Bless the good folks at Hershey.


Umm, yeah. Can you just make those and then invite alllll of us over? Because christ, those look good. And just think, moments ago I was totally excited that there were mini candy bars in the kitchen at work this morning. Now, am sad.


YUM! YUM! YUM! I need chocolate day!

I recently posted about some FAB chocolates we get here. Maybe if you email me your address and are very good and pretty some might come via USPS and will hopefully NOT be melted by the time they reach DC.


Those look yummy - I love the candid pictures with the dog in the foreground about to pounce on whatever food you may be preparing. BTW, nice TV.


Why does my job not have Chocolate Day? All we ahve is stupid Donut Fridays with stupid Krispy Kreme donuts. I would much rather have your peanut butter cups than stupid donuts.

I'm a little bitter today I think....


OMG! Those look awesome! And you are adorable.

type a

so my package with peanut butter cups and whatever else you can steal from that table-o-decadence is on its way to me at this moment. correct?


Am crying. All that chocolate. Just...too...beautiful. *sniff*


One of those would take up all my points for the day, I'm sure. DAMN YOOOOOOU.


Ooooohhhhhhh those look SO GOOD. Except 'round here we call those Reeses Death Cups, on account of the small boy being allergic to peanuts. So unfair. I wonder if I could do that recipe with sunflower butter? It's not as good as Jif, but it's close. Or will the candy deities strike me dead, do you suppose??


This would have been interesting, anyway, but making it into a photo essay? Brilliant. I love the sad-Amy-because-it's-bedtime-and-I-forgot-to-do-the-top-part pic.


You have succeeded in making me go out and buy reece pb pumpkins.


This is the Amalah we know and love. Even if you were just faking it? It's nice to see you enjoying yourself again.

Loved the post. Hope you're feeling well. Or at least more well than the other day or so.

Take care.


Wow. Too much work if you ask me. I'm sure the wine drinking helped greatly. Glad to see that I'm not the only one that "double dips" when sampling the food-in-progress. I say that spit is just an added personal touch anyway. You go girl!


You are Willemena Wonka!


On second thought, do you think this is how Martha Stewart got her start?


yuuum. i'll have to do this. :D thank you for your 'seekrit' recipe that isn't so seekrit :D

Scarlett Cyn

*Drooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllll* *swallow, gulp, much....MUCH more drooling*

I Heart Peanutbutter cups almost as much as I LOAVE AMY! (And that's a whole helluva lot!)


Did you get those mixing bowls at Target? Because I think I have the same set. Is it weird that I noticed that?

suzanna danna

Verily, verily I say unto thee... Mine ass is the size of a futon already woman, and you give me this recipe!?

Hee... I rhymed.

your adoring handmaiden for ever and ever

You are so cool and you look so HAPPY-- it was so awesome to see you looking like you were having fun.


Oakly doakly folks. Listen up. I am a RLP at Amalah's work. Mine ass has seen the glory of the oh-my-god-i-am-going-to-throw-up-now gluttony that IS Chocolate Day for the last THREE YEARS. I took my "Storchie" and placed it in the freezer about 4 hours ago.(Because, who in their right mind does not like a frozen p.b. cup???? If you don't then just shut up because there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you...trust me - I would know.)
But I digress...
These little delectable treats are FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!! Far and away the BEST item on the table. And you've seen the photo. Thanks Amalah -- now can you hold my hair back for me?


You let your dog up on the furniture? What has this world come to?

Oh well, you like Gilmore Girls so I won't hold it against you.

Finally, when you say, "Eat Pringles"...do you eat the entire can or just 50%? I want to get this recipe absolutely correct the first time. Thank you Chef Amalah!

sarcastic journalist

You forgot "Eat half of what you made and then freak because you don't have enough to bring to work."


i LOVE it!!!!!

you are truly now queen of the fake reese-cups as well as queen of the wees. what an honor!

they look SO good! i think i will try them! and also follow all your steps EXACTLY - including the wine and pringles. but can i substitute sour cream and onion baked lays for the pringles? pringles are so salty they make me go *ack*


*bows and intones the we're not worthy mantra*


I'll be bringing up the idea of a Chocolate Day at my next work meeting...
This was so much fun, O Queen of Truly Everything, and now I want chocolate for breakfast.



Recipedown IS a funny word.


Now, if you can just tell me how to make homemade Cadbury Eggs, my life will be complete.


I now need chocolate. But I don't have any. ~**pout**~


have I told you lately that you are beautiful and I love your blog???

and I am so making your recipe (wine and pringles included) this weekend!


Not only is she giving great chocolate advice, she has done all this while wearing a Carbon Leaf shirt. That's called icing on the cake, or peanut butter in the cup, whatever.


I STILL can't believe you went to that much trouble ... for WORK.

Arms of steel, indeed.


bwah ha ha ha ha! Humor and education. I love this.

I also love gilmore girls (even the awkward moments, when I want to smother myself with a pillow because I am so embarrassed for one of them). They make human okay. Thank god, I reek of human.


hi! i see you have a Carbon Leaf t-shirt. may i ask what size it is? i've been trying to figure out what size to get, but their website really doesn't have any info and it's driving me nuts...



I came here because a search engine picked you up while looking for a completely ambiguous word (thongs) Shhhhhh I now bow before your comic genious.... And steal your amazing candy recipe.


My dear, hilarious!
I like the 11PM picture the best - sometimes I experience the same :((

Be wise enough to be careful with the microwave stuff while being pregrant - just a friendly word from me.

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