There Are Pet Photos at the End, Promise
Wednesday Advice Smackdown Has Been Named a "Best Blog" By Absolutely No One!

To: Amalah
Fresh Baked
Subject: Baby Jessica part deux


Are you dead?  Have you fallen down a well? Or are you stuck under a massive pile of work and cute-ass shoes and lattes?  Should I be alarmed?  Do you need me to sound the alarm, alerting all to your immediate assistance?

I'm just wondering.  Because you have not written a single thing in 4 days and, quite frankly, I'm bored by now of the last entry.  I did my tour of vodka this weekend.  I need something new.

I'm here! Alive and fine and kicking and etc. Apologies for not writing anything since Thursday. I did try, actually. Several times. This is about what I got down:

Friday: Workworkworkworkwork. Goddamn assistant candidate turned down my generous offer of indentured servitude. Weep. Corporate Love-Fest Rah Rah Day, complete with free pizza and a lot of new employees because other people are not so horrible as I am and can actually HIRE PEOPLE. Weep.

Saturday: In-laws. Gah. Meet our new puppy, who will not go anywhere near you except to bring you a mouthful of cat poop. She will also pee on the bathroom floor after we brag about our housebreaking brilliance. Also please ignore Amy's drinking problem and the sticky kitchen floor.

Sunday: Bye In-laws! Gah. Now must prepare for my parents' visit over Thanksgiving. Holy shit, Jason's site is in Washingtonian magazine as a Best D.C. Blog. Bastard! But also, woot. Free meals from chefs and holy FUCKING SHIT, an offer from a Big Shot D.C. Chef to PERSONALLY ARRANGE my birthday dinner next month. We're celebrities! Or Jason is, and I shall ride his coattails. Or maybe I'll submit him to Snarkywood.

Sunday Part II: Ow, my head really hurts.

Sunday Part III: OW OW OW.

Monday: Holy lord. Migraine. Death. Blinding pain. Spent the entire day hiding under my covers, trying to stay in total darkness and moaning pathetically to Jason (who has the whole week off and can be found in this month's Washingtonian magazine, in case you didn't hear). Warm soft puppy belly is actually quite nice on the temples, by the way, as long as you try to forget where her dirty, dirty feet have probably been.

Tuesday: Today! Workworkworkworkwork! Another assistant interview, although I refuse to get excited lest she break my heart like the last few. Why does no one want to work for me? I'm really quite a kick.

Jason is at home, again, although he might be out autographing Washingtonian magazines or something, because I keep pinging him to ask that he email me a bunch of photos from the camera that I wanted to post and he is ignoring me. So maybe tomorrow. I had this whole photo essay thing planned, but Mr. Best Blog of Washington is too much of a big shot now to help out with wee, modest

So maybe tomorrow. (Wait, I said that already.) The day my parents arrive for Thanksgiving. The day I really, really need to clean my house up by. The last day before Thanksgiving vacation and my last chance to write to the 5,094,294 people who I owe emails to and now think I am a nasty, snooty bitch who is mad at them or changed my email address and moved to Bolivia. I am not mad! At you! I am just a very, very bad friend. Really.

Also, wee, modest will be turning one year old on Sunday. Happy birthday, little site! Why the hell aren't YOU in the Washingtonian Magazine? What? Because you suck? Oh, right.




Happy Thanksgiving, Amalah. (A bit early, but I assume that's ok.) Just wanted to say thanks for such entertaining reading. Hope your head feels better and that you can hire someone soon.


Hooray for Jason, but appalled he ate Rabbit.Have a great Thanksgiving.


Good. Not dead. I'm too busy fawning over Jason now to notice though.


Good. You're not dead. Was concerned.

Go Jason le gourmand sans pareil!


So very pleased that you're not dead. Yah for Jason, but doesn't he get Glenn Close flashbacks when he indulges in the rabbit?? Happy, happy one year (a little early, of course).


Again, if you could magically hold onto that job I'll be there in a couple years. I'm very qualified at gossiping, answering phones, typing shit, and kissing ass. As long as you pay at least $30,000 a year. A girl's gotta eat, yo.

Good luck with the holiday cooking and what not. I'm sure it'll be great. Congrats to you and Jason for his super coolness.

suzanna danna

Could I work for you from Texas? I so would. And I would also promise to bring the snark... sweetly... about Keith Urban's skin trying to attack his face... those hot peasant blouses that are in this year ::snerk:: and of course... all things Bobo... er, Bono... "One, Two, Three... Fourteen!"

Glad you're not dead.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Scarlett Cyn

It's about damn time! Glad you are still alive and kicking.

That WHORE that turned down a job to work for the fab YOU. That silly bitch didn't deserve you. No. NO. NO!!!!!

Also? Am glad you not mad at me and just waaaay too busy to reply to my gizillion emails.(Even the naughty ones...sigh.)I thought you didn't loave me any more.

Btw, it's all your fault. Arianna is in LOAVE with Ceiba and NOW I have discovered that Z's bestest friends brother has a male and female mini pin and they have like a GIZILLION puppies... which we cannot have, cause his kids want them all, greedy little buggers. BUT! Hopefully they will do the nasty again soon and I get a puppy just like Miss Ceiba, cause you KNOW I gotta get a dawg now. MY 5 cats should LOVE that, dontcha think?

Yeah, I thought you might. Kisses.


I think if you moved, the Bolivianian would totally name you best blog.

PS - Your site is completely devoid of suckage.


I am very glad you're not dad, and quite nearly as glad that you're writing again. I was deeply saddened by the temporary loss.


no suck. amalah is incredibly prolific and smart and oh yeah pretty with all the hair.

p.s. who the HELL wouldn't want to work for the queen? aren't you telling them about how they might get to be bitched about on the internet someday when they screw up like ass (that's called FAMOUS) and can fetch your shoes from under the desk (that's called HELPFUL) and carry little ceiba around work in a secretive doggie purse so you can see her all day long (that's called RESOURCEFUL)? what a loser for not taking that job while they had the chance! maybe you should put something in your ad about being married to the guy in dc mag.


Let me just write you an entire novel here... oh, wait, no. I don't have the attention span for that.

Okay, what I really wanted to point out is that Jason is fab and all, but his appeal is somewhat limited to those in the DC area. Those of us who live OUTSIDE your metro area can still vastly enjoy wee modest, whereas Jason's site just... um... makes me hungry. So there.


Ya know, I'd happily run back to PIR, but I don't think y'all could afford me :-( I make an excellent whipping boy, though.

I also make an excellent vodka martini. That could go a long way towards justifying my exorbitant salary...


well...I nominated you for Best Overall Blog at the Weblog Awards if it makes you feel any better...


I'll come be your assistant! well, as long as the pay is decent.

The comments to this entry are closed.