Blah De Bloo Blah Crap Entry
November 09, 2004
So I'm pretty much all moved into the (new!) (window!) office. I still need pictures hung up on the walls and for some reason I don't have a name plate outside my door like everyone else. Maybe I'm not really here. Am an illusion!
It's actually quite cozy in this office. I have lots of plants and pictures and sensual mood lighting and Muppet finger puppets and such.
And yes, I can keep plants alive. I'm really good with plants, just not plants with flowers. I kill flowers. But I grow absolutely indestructible green leafy plant things.
Jason grows orchids and does surprisingly well with them. What a weird, mixed-up household we have.
I also managed to snag a second guest chair, so now I can have two people visit at the same time. I don't think I've ever had two people visit at the same time, but maybe that was just because I didn't have a chair. Dude, it's a paradox.
I still wouldn't advise anyone to sit in my second guest chair though. The first chair I stole had a broken wheel, so I snuck it back and took another one. This one has two broken wheels. I've just kept it as a reminder that office crime never pays.
(I actually did have two special guests stop by yesterday, though not at the same time. Both were amalah.com readers, including this guy, and they both commented on the new! window! office! and totally put the exclamation points in when they said it. Love.)
Oh! And for everybody who said they liked my shoes in yesterday's post? They are from J. Crew. Jason bought them for me as a Christmas gift. Yes. He picked them out and he knows my shoe size. Yes, he also grows orchids. And yes, he has a brother but he's married. So stop asking.
Last night, I had a dream that I had the best idea for a post but didn't write it down and forgot it. This morning I woke up and tried to remember what the idea was but couldn't remember. Freaky.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't this post though.
Damn. This post is horrible. There's really no way to save it, either. Maybe a dog photo?
No? Shit. Okay, how about a Name the Planty Plants Contest? (Basically I'm stooping to anything that will get me nice comments instead of "u suck! and have ADHD! shut Up u whore!")
This is spider plant #1. She is a girl because she has wee babies. She likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. She would like to make it clear that she does not like spiders and really wants a new name.
This is spider plant #2. He is a boy because he has no babies and leaves the toilet seat up. He likes participating in Civil War re-enactments but is frightened of the ghostly neck and hand that always seem to float just outside the window.
This is tree thing. I got it at Ikea for $5.99 and have no idea what it is. Or whether or not it can be trusted. So far it seems to like water and dirt but not much else.
This is fake bamboo thing. He came from Target and used to hang on the wall of my old! windowless! office! Every night, he wishes upon a star to become a Real Plant. One time a big mean Siamese cat got a hold of him and chewed on his leaves and very nearly killed him. He's had a tough life. Won't you make it easier by giving him a name?
This is fake grass thing. He also came from Target. He even has fake water and sand but that still doesn't help him overcome his poor self image. Because face it, he looks like a rubber Chia Pet and that makes him very sad. He likes getting knocked over onto people's laps while they sit in my guest chairs because they think he's real and scream sometimes.
So there. Pick out names for them. The winners will get...something. Perhaps a wee spider plant baby. Or a pony!