A Little Cop-Out
Of Shoes and Duncity

Cry Hard With a Vengeance

So. I was all prepared to come back today with Edge and Bite and Avril Lavigne-style Punkness, but then I read all your comments about Steel Magnolias and A Little Princess and the therapeutic necessity that is the Movie Cry. Now I'm all squishy.

Although my hair is once again shiny and straight like splinty hard steel. Will cut you and burn your eyes with its gorgeous shiniess. And I am literally trembling with anticipation for the release of Eminem's new CD tomorrow, because I am such a bad ass. I'm totally going to buy it on my lunch hour tomorrow.

I may also totally buy A Little Princess on DVD while I'm out.

See? Bad. Ass.

(An' ya know I totally love all of y'all more'n mah luggage.)

I have to love you, for you helped me name my office plants. Which was a very important task and you did not let me down. Now, if someone out there has a tape of last night's episode of Lost, then I will make a bold stance and declare this whole Internet thing a smashing success.

(BURN IN HELL ABC. BURN IN HELL AND DIE. Goddamn network made Lost run one hour and one minute so instead of recording Lost? My TiVo recorded a rerun of Mythbusters that started in that crucial one-minute overlap period and for some reason was a higher season pass priority than my beloved, beloved Lost. I seriously fought back more tears last night when I discovered the mistake and these were NOT the happy sappy movie tears but the real, bitter and painful kind that can only be soothed by alcohol.)

(I've already made about five people recap it for me so you don't need to tell me what happened. But still. Want tape to see the bamboo in the fingernails thing myself because I HATE scruffy-mean guy.) (TM Type A.)

What the hell was I talking about?

Plants! Right. So without further ado, let me present...

(Ok, just a little more further ado: I have conquered the evil office blinds. They  open and close and lower and rise to my wishes now. All I have to do is climb on top of the heating/air conditioning box and jiggle this little white plastic thing once I get the blinds lowered to the level I want. It's quite an acrobatic feat and I'm glad my window faces a parking garage and not another office building, because footage of a girl in a short skirt and knee-high high-heel boots balancing on a narrow heating unit and yanking on venetian blinds could totally become the next Star Wars Kid video of the Internet.)

Anyway! Plants! Complete with naming credit links, which I have determined to be the prize of the contest, because the Amalah.com legal department determined that since I never promised a specific prize, I owe you bastards absolutely nothing. Thanks for playing!

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This Mary Jane. (Thanks to Princess and BMH.)

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This is Peter Parker. (Again, thanks to Princess and BMH, who may possibly be the same person, which in that case are disqualified from any further linkage.)

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This is Mad Tall Curly Bob. (A group effort by Brian, BluePoppy and Hudson.)

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This is Ashley Carmichael. (Thanks to Kathy and Suzanna Danna.)

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And this is Forney Grasshattery. (Thanks to BMH, that contest-hogging hog, and Lizardek.)

Comments

Princess

Yay! I assure you I am not the same person as BHM, I just dont have a site to link to yet. Also Forney Grasshattery is a way better name than I could come up with! Glad your hair is feeling better!

Kristie

Ugh, did you hear Avril attempting to sing on Z104 this morning? She. Sounded. Terrible. And she was a brat too. She couldn't even hit her own high notes! Bah!

type a

you named none of them "does jason have a brother?" ? seriously?

wah!

lady jane

Oh, I wish now I would have played! Or named, or whatever! Great names, everyone.

Let me just say that as someone who doesn't have TiVo (I am so registering for it if I ever, ever, ever get engaged) and who has seen about 40 mintues of LOST on a Saturday night - I love it. I can't watch it because I'm in choir practice at that time. My life is very, very sad.

kathy

oh. my. god. i have never won anything in my life. this warrants wine and wanton celebration.

i never knew naming a plant could bring me such serenity. if i could keep one alive for more than 8 and a half days i would do it more often.

Kerry

Aren't they still rerunning Lost on Saturday? Please let them be rerunning Lost on Saturday. Because I went out to the bar last night, and missed it, and I will cry as well if I can't tape it this weekend.

Damn you beer, ruining my life already.

ktbug

Well I don't know how it happened that they didn't end up as:
Malynne
Ouiser
Clairee
Shelby (because it can be for a boy or a girl)
Trudy
Annelle

The Movie Cry IS necessity. Therapy. And let me just say...
Ya'll are too twisted for color t.v.

ben

I think I speak for many when I say: Thank you for not naming one of your plants Gropey.

And Lost had better be run this Saturday, except I probably won't be home and still don't own a functioning VCR or DVR or FDR or JFK or anything like that.

pettit

if you name your plants? you can never become a vegetarian. never.
unless you are just plain eeeevil. Mmmm sauted fornery grasshatery tossed over a bed of mary jane and peter parker...SaaaLurp.

Whitney

The movie cry is a necessity! I thought I was the only one who thought that. For me, nothing even comes close to "The Way We Were". I realize that it's slightly annoying because you just want them back together but still! Oh, it's a good cry, alright. (But it does have the possibility of leaving you depressed for a couple of days, so, watch with caution.)

urbanoutback

There's been so much blog talk of that one-hour-and-one minute thing. They do it with Desperate Housewives too.

(No, not THAT! Sickos...)

bmh

Hey-- you took them!! Huh... I kick ass.

Has the been no mention of Beaches? The ultimate of ultimate cry fests? God, I hate that movie. Unless I secretly love it...

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