Spazzy
ON THE BRINK OF GREATNESS AND ALSO VOMITING

Voting Is More Fun Than Reading This Site

Blah blah bliddity dee vote vote cakes or P. Diddy will kill you etc.

I tried to vote this morning, but the line was two hours long. And the line at the nearest Starbucks was even longer. So no. Later. Promise. Because D.C. three electoral votes are going to decide the election this year! I can feel it! We sort of matter!

Actually, the only real influence Washington, D.C. has on the presidential election is the Washington Redskins Factor. If the Skins win their last home game before the election, the incumbent gets re-elected. If they lose, the challenger wins.

Green Bay totally spanked the Skins on Sunday. SPANKED.

So since I watched the game with extra intense patriotic interest, I feel I have already done my civic duty.

Gahgahgah

I spent most of the weekend pretending not to be sick. And then I spent most of yesterday pretending not to be sick at work. And eating leftover Halloween candy. But that’s besides the point.

But since I have no point, I will just tell you about my hair.

I did not cut it all off. I got a trim. See? Long and flowy and hippie-like:

Front:

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Back:

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Very exciting.

Gahgahgah

Later, we took Ceiba to the park for her first leash-free experience.

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Also very exciting.

Gahgahgah

(Y’all, I am CRANKY today. I mean, I must be. This is the worst entry ever.)

Gahgahgah

I think I know why I’m cranky. Somebody switched my office phone last night. I was hoping to get a new phone for my new (WINDOW!) office.

I came in this morning and had a new phone, but it’s an OLD new phone. Like, even older than the one I had before. The speed-dial labels were done on a typewriter. And there’s a big ugly sticker on the handset with the number for our company security pager.

What the hell is the security pager? Who exactly does it page? Is that the number I call the next time I fire an assistant so a big burly security guard will rush in and escort her out? That would be cool. Except that we only have a security guard after 6 p.m. and he’s quite old and feeble.

Anyway. I hate this phone. It’s ugly. It is seriously labeled “Classic Lucent.” Classic meaning Old n’ Busted Piece of Shit, apparently.

It’s ringing. I am so not answering it until someone brings me some disinfectant for the handset.

Gahgahgah

I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed an assistant, y’all. We got turned down by our one smart and human candidate. And yet on Friday in the Big Ass Meeting, I decided to talk a lot and suggest all sorts of brilliant ideas that mean tons more work for Amy. I really need to just wear my 15 pieces of flair and shut the fuck up sometimes.

So seriously? Any editorial assistants out there want a job? Entry to junior level? You get your own office? And there’s always a lot of candy around? And you could work for me, Special Mystery Guest Advice Columnist and VP Mike?

I bet they’d give you a new phone, too. Which I would promptly steal from you.

Gahgahgah

AND FINALLY…

I present The Bold & the Bloglicious Election Spectacular, which makes about as much sense as Ralph Nader.

Part 37: Vote or Die(t)!

Comments

Oliquig

I had to laugh at 'Judith's' "I'm voting for whoever plans to cancel Tony Danza's talk show." Hee.

Stu

The trick to voting without waiting in line is to request an absentee ballot even though you will be in town, that way you can send it in weeks ahead of time. and not have to worry about it.

Heather

Your hair is so very, very pretty. Also? Love your shiny shirt. Oh yeah, vote, everyone! Cause you know, P. Diddy and all.

meghan

Man, I really wish I lived in D.C., because I currently AM an editorial assistant but am looking for a new job because my current one pays peanuts. Y'all don't have a Boston office that needs an EA, do you? :)

type a

ooooh . . . the first leash-free park trip? is terrifying! and also? really scary. your hair handled it well.

Shiz

The bizzitch in me did vote absentee, and I did not have to wait in line, except to mail it. But man, my ballot had like, chads. Whoa. I did not leave any of them hanging.

I voted through my last state of residence, Missouri. Does Missouri, like, count at all?

Loved the no-sense movie. LOVE IT.

I prayed last night that whatever happens today, America would be less scary because of it. Because America is Scary.

Lauren

I'm digging your shirt, too. And how much do I love that they added Bush and Kerry to the D-films? A lot.

kalisah

I liked your movie. And at first I thought you took those photos of your dog from really really far away. Then I realized it's a really really small dog.

Fraulein N

I need to live in DC, because that job sounds PERFECT for me. Plus? It is not this job. On a up note, that's a cute top you're rocking in the haircut photos.

snowy

oooh pretty hair! : )
what kind of dog is ceiba?

leah

Love your blog. Love your hair. Love your dog.

What a coincidence. I also got a new office phone today. It is just as crappy as my old one but it was still dripping with disinfenctant when it was placed on my desk.

I like to keep a bottle of disinfectant handy for when I have to touch other people things like their disgusting keyboards!

kathy

Hello queen of everything: Since you mentioned Ceiba today, I thought you might want to know that at the DC Marketing Center luncheon that was held this very day in our nation's capital, the restaurant 'Ceiba' was named Best New Restaurant in DC.

Perhaps this warrants an Election Day/Best New Doggie in DC celebration at your home tonite!!!

Mary

Your film? Is awesome. It totally brightened my day.

myllissa

Like I said, when I get out of my contract in 2007ish, I will be your executive assistant extraordinare! I'm good! I promise!

Plus, you have very pretty hair. It looks bloneer too, no? Very sexy.

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