Merry Christmas to Everyone Except the United States Postal Service
December 24, 2004
Christmas Eve, Zero Hour.
Still waiting on one last package from Amazon. I'm thinking it's not going to get here.
According to the USPS Web site, the package has not been seen or heard from since December 15th when it left the top secret Postman's Lair or whatever.
I sent out two frantically pissy emails: one to the USPS directly, and one to Amazon.
USPS response: Sucks to be you! We have no idea where your package is and frankly, don't think that's really our job. If it doesn't arrive after 30 days, you can go ahead and fill out Form A122-34 version 2F, available at all post offices in the Pacific Northwest, and we'll promise to look into it before next Christmas.
Amazon response: We are so sorry. REALLY sorry. Words cannot express how sorry we are. Seriously, we're like, crying over here. We have sent you a replacement order at no charge and commissioned a sherpa to guarantee delivery. Also, here is some ice cream and an animated "We're Sorry" e-card. Are we still friends?
God bless Amazon, and us, every one.
(Except, you know, the post office. Bah Bitch Humbug there.)