An Entry About My Underwear
Things I Should Not Have To Deal With On The Day of My First Ultrasound, Because OH MY GOD

Home Alone


1 package baby carrots
3 boxes Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
2 cans Spaghettios w/ Meatballs and Added Calcium
1 half-gallon reduced-fat milk
1 six-pack ginger ale
1 bag Goldfish crackers

So Jason is away in New York until some ungodly late hour tonight, which means I am wild and crazy and unsupervised. So what am I up to? Mischief? Mayhem?

Well, I took the dog out to pee and now I'm watching episodes of A Baby Story while wearing pyjamas.

And I'm such a rebel? The top and bottom DON'T EVEN MATCH. Rock the fuck on!

But PJs and Goldfish crackers aren't the only fun on the agenda tonight. First: Presents! Lots and lots of presents!

(I'm really digging this whole I'm-having-a-baby-now-give-me-things.)

First up, a gift basket from my friend Penny from these fine people that includes Preggie Pops for morning sickness (dude, JUST IN TIME), snarky teabags and a wee book on "finding your inner mom," which I think I need, as you'll see in a bit.

(SHUT THE HELL UP, Woman On A Baby Story who got pregnant two months after going off the pill. Your hair is ugly.)

And then, from the always darling and generous and gorgeous Nola, a BIG ASS BOX from Anthropologie. From which, apparently, you can buy BABY TOYS like this one.

(It's official! has lost all edge and has given in to the fluffy.)

This is the softest, squishiest, deliciousiest toy ever, and if it does not become my child's favorite, I will be VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THEM.

Ceiba is not even allowed in the same room as this bunny, for she is Destructive. Look what she did to her toy today.

(Oh! The humanity!)

RIP Squeaky McPuff.

In Tadpole news, Tadpole is actually beyond a tadpole now. According to the various pregnancy books I have scattered around the house, Tadpole is now "the size of a chickpea or a pencil eraser."

Aw. A little Chickpea.


I am hereby boycotting any type of cutesy pea/bean/legume-like nickname for my embryo. Instead, I'm thinking "Eraserhead."

See why I might need that inner mom book? "Yes little baby, while other pregnant bloggers were calling their babies names like Sweet Pea or Hominy Grit, I named you after the David Lynch movie with the mutant penis-baby. Now go to bed. Don't make me get out the wire hangers."

And now, it's 10 p.m., which means it's time for bed to rest up for another long day of vomiting. DAMN, my life is FABULOUS.



I'd go with Eraserhead, personally.


That is the most precious bunny I have ever seen. Also - naming your embryo Eraserhead will make for a fantastically embarassing story when your child is older.


Eraserhead is good. Has a certain ring to it. Could keep it when the child is born but, what kind of middle name goes with Eraserhead?


Congratulations Amy (semi-long-time-lurker, first-time poster, love you, love your blog)!
The nausea, the tired, the hilarity ... you are now entitled to feel it fully. And to reap in abundance the rewards and huzzahs sufficiently due to she who is now The Vessel of Life.
I, the mother of two, am a reformed ClearBlue Easy-aholic (Welcome, Lisa), and let me tell you, I feel you, baby. I feel you.

Oh. And? Eraserhead, while not without its charms, may be difficult for your friends to have frosted on a very precious shower cake. Our first one we referred to as "the swimmer," and our second, simply "Slappy."

Good times. Good times.


Awww.. cherish all those moments Amy! I miss them terribly. Even the gagging. Nuts am I?


Take lots of pictures of the precious bunny! Because some day soon, dog toys and baby toys will become interchangable. And if you're extra lucky like me? The same will be true of the Kibbles 'n Bits.


I think Eraserhead is genius. And totally unique! You will have the only fetus Eraserhead in town.


Eraserhead! HEEEEEEEE!!!


Mine was 'Bubba'.


OMG I love Eraserhead....Lets face it, its totally individualistic...I would say, the odds of you meeting a brand new mom who names her baby Eraserhead.................couple of million to one..hehehe


Okay, so I've never posted, but the whole fetus nickname thing compelled me to come out. We called our son Kumquat. Now that he's 2 and a half, we refer to him as Bug. He does have a real name, however, Bug seems to suit him more.

As far as making the bunny the favorite toy? Keep it with your child constantly. In the crib, in the car, in the stroller - 24/7. It'll become the favorite, I promise. If there are no others, the kid really has no choice, now do they!?!


apologies for the belatedness, but just wanted to chime in with the hearty congratulations on the... eraserhead!! :-) may you be the funnest mom on the block who's house all the kids want to hang at.

in other notes, easy there tummy! be nice to the amalah.

lastly? i love the bunny. love love love. want to squish it's paws.


Okay, you need to quit making posts like this. I see all the presents and cute baby toys and stuff and it makes my baby fever worse. Go back to talking about the horribly gross things the body does! LOL
I like Eraserhead - you can be sure that no other mom will have that nickname, thus ensuring that 2 kids won't look up at the same time when you yell out the name. :)


the ginger ale is key. Have you tried the Sprite zero? that also seems to help when I am queasy.

good luck!


So you see, I like to knit and stuff, but I'm better at spending money. And what better time to really use your talents than when you're friends are pregnant?


So, is that a My Little Pony on the coffee table {behind cute-as-hell bunny} ??


PJ's and Baby Story with comfort food. You are a smart woman. Take full advantage of the baby registry and gift-receiving. Don't worry about the inner mom thing -- it grows exponentially with your belly! Hearing the heartbeat and feeling first kicks will send you over the "Now I'm a Mommy" edge.
ENJOY IT ALL!!! (You are reminding me how wonderful the whole experience was! Keep posting!)

Scarlett Cyn

Bunny is waaaay cute and squishy and stuff.

But you know, when you have your baby and it is old enough to whine like hell for a McD's happy meal and you go through the drive thru, I wonder if you will do what I did tonight?

I stole my daughter's Care Bear Happy Meal Gift. I sure as hell did. She didn't seem too thrilled, but me? Squealed. Yes, I did. I am a bad mommy, aren't I?

I hope you will have many years of such bad mommy moments ahead of you dearest Amy. Try hot peppermint tea. Pure peppermint. It helps with the whole nausea thing. Trust me. That shit is GOOD.

Just trying to help. Been there sistah.



Just a little "buyer beware" in case you get as sick as i did and wonder why your ginger ale isnt working. Most grocery store ginger ales have NO ginger in them. FALSE ADVERTISING! However I strongly do NOT recommend real ginger ale as it is most foul! I second the person that used Sprite Zero. Little fizzy bubbles are so nice on a sour tummy.
PS: One de lurking day and I have become a monster. I used to be so happy lurking now i feel I must contribute.


Is it wrong that my shopping cart contains the same stuff....and I have 3 kids? Ceiba will eat the bunny before your child ever sees it (just wait-never fails).


Amalah, ginger tea is an option, too. And? They TOTALLY make Ginger Gravol. And Ginger Tablets.

I love you, little Eraserhead! Can you come over here? I just spelled something wrong.

Real Girl

And they call it...Bunny Lo-o-o-ove.

Can SO see that bunny wrapped in teeny little arms...

Lisa B

I love snarkywood and your site so much I raved about it on my blog. If you hate my blog and don't want to be referenced on it, let me know and I can delete the mention. Take care.

Sarcastic Journalist

hey, congrats again. We had "the fetus." eventually "the fetus" grew a name and became a baby.

It's weird to look back at old entries for "the fetus" and "the embryo."

you'll soon learn your baby will be the size of a grape and then an avocado and then a banana.

the joy of fruit!


Will you be doing a baby blog? Some friends of friends did one from tadpole to toddler and it's still going. They're former D.C. folks and I'm just glad to get to watch their munchkin grow up -- I look forward to you doing the same! (


Pottery banr kids has the softest baby blanket EVER! And bunny. My hubby got them for our latest addition. She wubs her wittle bwankie.

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