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January 2005
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March 2005

This Is Your Brain On Infertility

(At some point I believe I shall have something else to talk about besides pregnancy. Unfortunately for you, that point is not now.) Jason is picking out baby names and looking into college savings plans. My mom sent the first baby gift with a tag made out to "Our Newest Little Angel" and is gathering up mementos of my babyhood to pass along. Jason's mom is planning the nursery design. My friends are gathering up their old maternity clothes for me. Other friends have already started knitting. My sister is planning to fly across the country for the baby shower. As for me, I can't stop thinking about taking another one of these, just to make sure. I just don't know yet. I'm too nervous/scared/bitter/jaded to move Tadpole out of the realm of the hypothetical and into the "Holy Shit, I'm Having a Baby" category. Maybe I'll feel better in another six weeks or so. And we'll see what my belly looks like then. Read more →

The Irony & The Ecstacy

Okay, okay. Now that y'all know the Great Untellable News That Dare Not Speak Its Name, let me rewind and give you a full timeline of all the shit I couldn't blog about before. MONDAY, PERIOD WATCH 2005 BEGINS I decide to take a hiatus, because I'm busy at work. But also because I'm tired, soooo tired, and crying over EVERY BLOOMING LITTLE THING. Runs in my stockings, whiskers on kittens, other people's pregnancies and the dread that only comes when you're preparing to go back on Clomid, the fertility pill of Satan. THURSDAY, DAY 1 OF PHANTOM PREGNANCY I post a conversation in which I bitch to Zoot about not being pregnant and that the stress of life has screwed up my insides and making my period 21 hours late and waaaaaaaaaaah. A button pops off my pants. Goddamn it. FRIDAY, DAY 3 OF PHANTOM PREGNANCY We go out for dinner and I am a bitter, bitter date. The entire world is against me. I am fat and unlovable but everyone should love me because waaaaaah. Jason orders steak tartare. Amy bolts for the restroom. Jason mentions that maybe, just maybe, I should think about taking a pregnancy test.... Read more →

Wednesday Advice Smackdown

Amy: Hey, remember the Wednesday Advice Smackdown? You: No, not really. Was it like wrestling? Amy: The thing! With the advice! On Wednesdays! I used to do it every week. Until two weeks ago-ish. You: Yes. Two whole weeks have gone by. It is forgotten. Over. We have moved on to bigger and better and more frequently-updated weblogs. Amy: Fine then. Fuck all y'all. I will just give out advice to my own damn self then and I hope you and your new favorite weblog will be very happy together. You: Nooooo! Amy! I'm kidding! I could never love anyone as much as I love you. Never! I'm sorry! Look, I will give you money for no reason! Amy: Well...okay then. I do enjoy money. You: Wait. I totally did not just say all that stuff. You typed it yourself. That is so not cool. Amy: La la la. You: Give me back my money, bitch. Amalah, I seek your sagilicious advice, since you are so experienced in blog-related drama. I think I have a blog stalker. See, after my very first blog post ever, this girl commented that she loved my site, so--yay! Why don't I check hers out.... Read more →