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Thumpity Thump

Things I Should Not Have To Deal With On The Day of My First Ultrasound, Because OH MY GOD

1) Colgate Total Fresh Stripe Toothpaste which makes me throw up.

2) My bangs.

3) Sewing buttons back onto pants, using the wrong color thread, because it's all I have, and irritatingly tiny needles.

4) Bras which suddenly, overnight, are two sizes too small, which THANKS, as I just bought new underwear this weekend and now have to make a separate trip.

5) My dog's incessant whining.

6) My cat's incessant shedding.

7) Wanting Frosted Flakes, not having Frosted Flakes.

8) Rain.

9) What rain does to my bangs.

10) That Range Rover who cut me off THREE TIMES, you GAS-GUZZLING ASSHOLE.

11) Having to call my bank about why my check card is getting declined, while my husband's card works just fine, even though it is currently in four separate pieces.

12) Dry heaving at work, mostly because of nerves, partly because someone burnt an English muffin in the general vicinity.

13) Having to wait until 4:20 for the ultrasound.

14) Four. Twenty. Which might as well be next week.

15) The huge pile of crap on my desk which REFUSES TO FILE ITSELF.

16) My office, which will not stop spinning, even when I lie on the floor.

17) The office cleaning people, who never vacuum.

18) People who point out how ADORABLE it will be when we see Eraserhead's heartbeat for the first time on VALENTINE'S DAY, which SHUT UP, like I didn't want to hurl enough already.

19) CAPS LOCK.

20) Trying to think of a 20th thing I shouldn't have to deal with simply because my OCD won't let me post an odd-numbered list.

4:20 p.m. ET, people. Send Eraserhead lots of cardiovascular thumpity thoughts and shit. And then send me some sedatives.

Comments

Princess

Awww you and Eraserhed will be just fine!

Diana

Mmmm, sedatives.

Pratt

look at bunnies. They will ease your mind.

Johnny

*thumpity thumpity thumpity*

If you think it enough, it comes out like "thumb pity."

Michele

All will be well. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

Janna

I have off today and plan to stay home to do some hardcore Nothing and the day is already whizzing by. Odd, huh? How your day is creeping. But only a few more hours!

Best of wishes to you and yours.

PS - Can you upload the heartbeat to your blog?

ktb

You can either dive into the pool, for example, shop online for really cute, cry over baby stuff OR shop online for really cute maternity clothes or just go to tiffany online and pick out what great piece of beautiful jewelry your fantastic husband will by you when you give birth to your first child. IT'S ALL GOOD. All will be fine - all 3 of you are in my prayers.

erinire

yeah, so i don't know how well sedatives and pregnancy go together? But you can make it!! ONLY 5 MORE HOURS.

Heather

You and Eraserhead will be just fine...and you've only got, like, four more hours. You can do it!

Dr. Johnny Fever

Seeing as how your appointment is at 4:20, which is known internationally as the hour in which potheads everywhere smoke blunts, I give you permission to burn one before you go in. Might help with the nausea. Might also make Eraserhead talk like Jeff Spicoli when he/she/it is born.

Kitty

Sending happy heartbeats your way!
I hope your day gets better. If I was there I'd help ya file. I can't really do much about the nausea thing though, sorry. Just tell Eraserhead to calm down, it's not time to show off yet. ;)

Have fun at your appointment!

Stevo

Amalah, too bad pregos cannot have Xanax. You'll do just fine darlin' I have faith in you and the tadpole, I do prefer tadpole to Eraserhead. Loads of good karma to you and the baby.

Remember a few days ago you were upset because the bras still fit.

I was waiting for the 4:20 pot head reference, thanks Dr. Johnny.

Real Girl

How 'bout patting yourself on the back for not rushing to the MALL for an ultrasound instead of just waiting (sorta) patiently?

Have you heard of/seen those commercial ultrasound places at malls? We don't exactly *have* malls here in NYC, but I saw it on TV, and good gracious of all the things they're trying to sell you!

I mean, just give me my totally unnecessary lipstick + eyeshadow that I don't need but HEY, FREE GIFT and get me out of there!

ben

Seda Gives?

Martha

I'll be thinking of you, Amy. It's going to go well -- I promise.

Amy

Thump! Thump! Thump!

(the smell of burnt bagels/english muffins always makes me want to yag, and I ain't pregnant. Good Mike, what the hell kind of hell are you telling us all to expect!?!)

:-)

We better have an update promptly at 4:25!

Penny

Here comes Peter Cotton Tail,
Thumpin down the bunny trail.
Hippity hop hop, hippity hop!

Sorry...I couldn't help but think that as I was reading everyone's posts with the thumpity and the thump. Had to share.

Oh! And sorry about the english muffin...

Fraulein N

Thumpity thump. Best of luck! And you know you think it's just a LITTLE adorable seeing the heartbeat on Valentine's Day. C'mon, say, 10%adorable?

Shiz

You get to see Eraserhead today! Well, late today. Kind of like next week, you're right.

And I hate the Range Rover driver on your behalf. How dare he CUT OFF A PREGNANT WOMAN!

Shiz

First of all (again), isn't the THUMPITY THUMP what got you in this predicament in the first place?

And secondly, you can get an ULTRASOUND at the MALL?

So. Weird.

Dr. Johnny Fever

I have real problems with the ultrasound at the mall thing, too. I mean, you go to the mall to buy Hello Kitty coin purses and Mrs. Fields penut butter cookies. Do you really want to have an ultrasound in plain view of people on their way to Sbarro for a calzone?

ktb

Ultrasound at the mall is as creepy as:
Cloning
Michael Jackson
Clowns

Hmm. Surprisingly all very similar. Coincidence? I think not.

supine

Hi Amalah! It's, like, 4:10 right now, so start putting your coat on...

And good luck, I'm sure everything will be great.

Nita

The dildo cam is probably getting all prepared.......hang on 'NO MORE DILDO CAM'!!!. Ahhhhh you have graduated to the 'normal' cam now.

I have been reading your post for a while now and just wanted to wish you lots of luck. Hope all goes well for DH, Eraserhead and YOU....

Shiz

ROCK ON WITH THE HEARTBEAT, GUYS!

ERASERHEAD LIVES!!!!!!!

dawn

I smelled popcorn today at lunch and thought of you and how cruel that person was to make you have to smell such a dastardly kitchen smell in your delicate condition. ;)

Sarcastic Journalist

congrats!! as for maternity bras, i highly recommend japanese weekend. I wanted to do naughty things with my bra and I totally didn't like to do naughty things during my pregnancy.

http://www.bellydancematernity.com/customer/product.php?productid=1434&cat=114&page=1

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