The Growing Insanity
All Hail the Cooch Cam

Well, Fuck.

Yesterday afternoon, I wrote the following email to Zoot:

I have to say, I think I am getting better about the doomsday scenarios. A few weeks ago I couldn't even FATHOM making it to the second trimester, and now I'm less than two weeks away from it. I couldn't imagine ever hearing the heartbeat on the doppler, and now I'm listening to it every day. So a lot of the negative thinking has to go away because this pregnancy keeps on amazing me by its mere ability to go on EXISTING.

"HAAAAAAAAA," said the universe.

I started spotting last night. Bright red blood followed by pinkish smears every time I went to the bathroom.


Amy: *bolts out of bathroom* SPOTTING. MY GOD NO NO NO.

Jason: *hurls self off couch* OH MY GOD NO NO NO.

Amy: *curls self on couch, puts throw pillow on head* OH MY GOD NO NO NO.

We're very good in a crisis, no?

After a few minutes I put my head back together and got out the doppler. And of course, it took 20 minutes to find the heartbeat, by which time I was more than a LITTLE HYSTERICAL. But it was still there, and still at 160 bpm. The pinkish smears were clearly not causing the baby any kind of distress, UNLIKE ITS PARENTS, who were still officially Losing It.

We spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch, looking glum, calling our parents and wanting them to fix everything, glaring at the super-pregnant wife of the one boxer on The Contender who already has FOUR CHILDREN, which NO FAIR and me freaking out over every possible twinge or stomach gurgle that could possibly maybe sort of be a cramp. And of course, examining toilet paper.

(By the way, Jason and I are very private married people. We do not pee in front of each other, ever. It's just one of the million ways we keep the romance alive, you know?)

Not last night. Last night it was me peeing, Jason hovering, me holding out pinkish toilet paper for us to both stare at and sigh over.

I seriously hope to have the opportunity to guilt trip this child about this indignity someday.

Anyway. Fast-forward to today. The spotting seems to have stopped; no real cramping ever started. Heartbeat still thumping at 160 bpm.

I am still sooooo not buying it. I'm going to my OB at 2:20 ET today for a check and probably an ultrasound, and not getting out of bed in the meantime. Except for more peeing, hovering and examining.

(On the plus side, Jason is most certainly not going to Atlantic City this weekend. Hell freaking no.)

Although I'm feeling a little less sure about shopping for maternity clothes now. Damn.



oh....hang in there sweetie. We're all sending you good wishes and hopes. I'm sure if the baby's heart is still whooshing away that EVERYTHING IS FINE. Try to relax.


I'll pray for you, Jason and the kid.


Oh, hon, my heart just about stopped reading that. You stay in bed, keep up with the peeing and hovering and know that we're all thinking about you.


Sending strong, positive vibes your way.


*biggest hug ever*

I'm also keeping you in my prayers. I don't know how it feels, obviously, so I can't really say anything else. But that heartbeat sure makes me feel a little better at least...

Katie B

Big hugs your way Amalah and all the positive vibey stuff I can muster!


I'll be thinking about you guys. Hang in there, baby Amalah.


Oh dear. Try to hang in there and not worry too much, if at all possible. You doc appt this afternoon should make you feel better. I have a girlfriend in her 12th week and she spotted a bit at 10 weeks, completely terrified her. But the doc said it was normal. Don't forget to breathe in between the peeing, hovering and examining. I'm keeping you in my thoughs.


Hope that even as you are reading this, something good has already happened to make it feel better.

Take care.


been away for a bit but still keeping up with you - i had this occur with my first pregnancy right around the same time as you. I flipped out and went to the er that night. nothing was wrong. i was a basket case for awhile. even the doctors couldn't reassure me - however, everything was fine and it was just one of those things and does occasionally happen to some women. You are taking the right precautions. you are handling things beautifully. you hang in there, keep us posted and know that you are in my prayers, on my heart and in my thoughts. will be by later today to check on you - hugs sweetie, Nikki


sending you big hugs and prayers to you.


Praying for you and the babe. Please keep us updated.


My stomach flopped when I read the title. I knew it wasnt going to be a happy entry. I will be sening you positive thougths. I am sure everything will be ok. Just stay calm. On the bright side, now you can spend your weekend at home with Jason. He shouldnt go to weekend long parties anyway!

Zoots Mom

Hang in there, Iknow, you're tire of hearing that phrase but there isn't much elst anyone can say...I can tell you this...I did the same thing at about 10-12 wks and you and she are fine friends right now, and they didn't have the technology, meds or treatment then that they do now...You're doing everthing you can, good luck and keep us informed..


Hugs sweetheart. Hang in there strog mommy. I had bleeding with both my pregnancies and my doc told me that it was just implantation bleeding. Keep us updated. Prayers from this side of the nation.


De-lurking to say hang in there and to hopefully offer you some comfort in that I spotted for 3 weeks (week 8 - 11) after having a suffered a miscarriage two months prior, but had a full-term pregnancy without any major issues.


Think positive thoughts. The kid already has a sick sense of humor and is just messing with you.

My end of first trimester spotting is currently happy as a clam at daycare.


That happened to me with both of my pregnancies. The doc said it was "implantation" or something like that and completely normal. Take comfort in the fact that you found the heartbeat and you're seeing the doc today.

Her Ladyship

Oh god, I hope it works out okay. Am crossing my fingers for you.


Fingers crossed that everything is okay-- keep us updated!


Okay, everyone already said hang in there. HUGS to you and to Jason. Nothing will make you feel better except good news at the doc, I know. I spotted during week 9 myself, and my friend spotted EVERY MONTH with her first pregnancy. As I said, that won't make you feel any better, just know that a whole heck of a lot of us are out here thinking warm, supportive thoughts, and praying.


Sending lots and lots of good baby vibes your way. You're going to be okay, I know it.


I'm praying for ya'll too... Hugs and Good Thoughts are coming your way...


thank goodness for your home doppler - you would have been a hell of a lot more freaked out without hearing that heartbeat!!

don't worry yet. both my sisters in law bled through all of their pregnancies and each of them has three healthy kids!


Oh hon, it'll be OK. Remember, breathe in, breathe out, repeat. Freaking out-while impossible not to do-isn't going to help a damn thing. Try to find some way to think of something else until 2:20.

*sends good ju-jus and lots of tadpole prayers*


We'll be praying for Eraser Head!

bond girl

Let this be the totally normal, no cause for genuine alarm, pregnancy bleeding that people talk/write about, pleasepleaseplease.

Thinking good thoughts for you, Amy.


Thinking of you today. Take care.


Yeah, I've heard a little bit of spotting is normal too, but I still feel better knowing that you heard the heartbeat.

By the way, you totally FREAKED me out when you started off talking about the spotting--I can only imagine what it did to you! Ack!


Just coming out of lurkdom to say hang in there! Sending lots of good thoughts your way...


Actually, I'm choosing to look at this as your baby already kissing your ass by making sure Jason has to stay home this weekend.

The little booger has been high-fiving itself ever since Jason said "I'm not going".


i'm saying prayers!!!
i hope you are feeling better and all will be okay!!


Ok girly Keep it together ok? Good thoughts and love.
Snarky: Just to keep him from batchin' it right?
Sisterly: Really wish I could be there this weekend!

Fraulein N

God, I hope you're feeling better. Keeping you in my thoughts for sure. Hang in there.


i'm visiting your site for the first time and sending sticky baby wishes. i hope all is well.

Dr. Johnny Fever

Hang in there, little fetus!


prayers! and hugs.


Oh Amy, I'm sure everything is okay! By the tiem you read this you'll KNOW everything is okay. Have a good weekend, and take care.


Just posting to let you know that there is yet ANOTHER person in this great big world who is praying for you, Jason and Peanut.


Wishing, hoping and praying for all y'all. This too will pass and soon you will be in Aruba. Just remember to breathe. FYI, the breathing thing comes in handy at delivery time as well as when the little one gets their learners permit.

Just remember to tell us everything is alright when you get back from the doctor.


You're in my thoughts! We call my spotting Isabel, she's 5 now. Scared me to death too. ((((( ))))


E-mail under separate cover


Thinking of you, babe. Please update soonest.

type a

giiiiiirlie . . . i am so scolding her for scaring us. please write and tell me when we KNOW everything's okay, okay?


Amy, hang in there sweetie! You'll be okay. Baby will be okay. Jason will stay home and take care of you, I'm sure. Because he's cool like that. And you rest. A lot. Stay in touch.


I had a friend with the same thing, and Gage is beautiful, happy boy. So please just try to breathe IN, breathe OUT.



Fingers crossed, cautious optimism, update when you can.


Hang in there, Amy! I totally don't blame you for your freak-outage. I'd have done the same. I examined the t.p. every time I went to the bathroom for about the first five months with both my pregnancies. Listen, I have a number of friends who had episodes of spotting and they all have perfectly healthy kids now to show for it. So please please try not to worry (yeah, right). Big hugs to the three of you!


Saying a prayer right now.


I am so, so sorry you're going through this scare right now. Believe me, I know how freaky it is. I will be thinking of you and praying for you.


Well, crap. I'm sorry I missed this entry, and the newest one (the comments are malfunctioning on the newest entry btw). Anyway, I spotted with every single kid I had, and I also cramped. I know everything will be fine, you'll make it through the next 2 weeks with flying colors.

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