Pussy (Cat)
Not Entirely Changing the Subject

Hate.

(Jason has all our Aruba photos on his laptop at work. I have requested a zip file or something several times and have not yet received them, and he's gone all idle on IM and something more important has come up and I can't do an Advice Smackdown because actually, I need some advice and also I need to calm down and BREATHE.)

I had a routine prenatal appointment this morning. I'm smack dab in the middle of week 18 or so, and I was expecting to get a referral slip or something for the big 20 week, midway-point ultrasound. (My insurance doesn't like paying for ultrasounds at the doctor's actual office, and will only refrain from giving me shit if I go to an outpatient imaging center instead.)

He didn't bring it up, so I mentioned it, all casual-like. "Soooooo, how 'bout them ultrasounds? Should be fixin' to git one of them soon, right?"

(My plan was actually to get the referral for a 20-week ultrasound, then speed-dial the imaging center from the parking lot and make an appointment for as soon as possible, because fuck that noise, plenty of people get them at 18 weeks.)

To my shock and horror and then more shock, my doctor told he wants to wait until 26 weeks.

Let me repeat that. TWENTY. SIX. WEEKS. That's two months from now. That's JUNE. That's a mere 13 weeks before my due date.

I pressed him as to why in sam hill I needed to wait so long when the Internet has CLEARLY done tole me that ultrasounds are typically done between 18 and 22 weeks, and he went on and on about picture quality and how six months is the ideal time and then he teased me a little about being over-anxious to find out the baby's sex.

And I, stupidly, agreed and pulled a pout and said I was dying to know and waaah, I didn't want to wait. Har har, silly pregnant lady, just be patient!

Oh, and then he complimented my shoes, which totally distracted me.

In the car on the way to work, my brain suddenly caught up with the conversation. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE THERE.

There are other reasons to get an ultrasound besides trying to catch a glimpse of your baby's privates. There's like, measurements? Head size? Making sure there's no vital organs growing where they shouldn't, like outside the body or something?

If, God forbid, something is wrong, a 26-week ultrasound doesn't give you a hell of a lot of time to prepare or cope or learn about the ailments your child is facing. Or, God further forbid, if something is really, REALLY wrong, and your child is doomed to a short, painful life or imminent death, a 26-week ultrasound means it's too late to make that heartbreaking, yet ultimately compassionate, choice.

(Yes, I am very upset that I am thinking in such morbid, absolute-worst-case--scenario terms, but there you have it. If my doctor had just given me the damn referral, I wouldn't be all crazy like this.)

And COME ON. The images are JUST FINE at 20 weeks, don't give me that bullshit.

In short, waiting until 26 weeks seems absolutely ridiculous to me on every level imaginable.

So. Options?

1) Call the office back and be a bitch about it. Cry. Quote the internet and talk about all the other pregnant women I know who got ultrasounds at 20 weeks and how I would also jump off a bridge if they did too. Drawbacks: Am terrible on the phone and get flustered and easily cowed.

2) Pay out-of-pocket for an ultrasound at one of those yuppie 4D imaging places, like we were planning to do in July anyway for our back-up gender check and to get the cool video and wallet-sized photos. (I already checked for regular ultrasound places around here that will take you without a doctor's referral. Negative.) Drawbacks: Cost lots of money. Non-medical ultrasound. Will satisfy the peek at the private parts part of the problem but not the oh-my-God-you're-carrying-the-elephant-man part.

3) Wait until my next prenatal appointment in four weeks and present my case again, in person, this time without letting him make it all about the gender question. Drawbacks: Four weeks? FOUR WEEKS?

4) Get someone who is good and pushy on the phone to pretend to be me argue with the office instead. Drawbacks: Lame. And possibly illegal.

5) Suck it up and wait another eight weeks for ultrasound. Drawbacks: Infinite.

Help me, oh good people of the Internet. What would you do? Why is my doctor insane? When did he become insane? Or is it just me?

******************************************************************

UPDATE: Well, after it became clear that no one on the Internet was going to say, "Hey! I'm a freelance ultrasound technician! I'll wheel a machine to your house tonight!", I picked up the damn phone and called the office.

And great news! My doctor has left for the day! And for tomorrow! And Friday! 

I did speak to the nurse, who is Nice, and who I like, but seeing as she really couldn't write a referral herself or openly go against the doctor's orders, it was mostly an unsatisfying conversation.

Basically: For the gender question, they wait until 26 weeks, period, and frankly, don't care that plenty of other people find out at 20 weeks just fine, la la la, they can't hear you.

For the elephant-man-baby question, she reminded me that I had blood drawn for the triple screen this morning, which will tell us a lot more than an ultrasound could at this point anyway. If any part of that comes back looking suspicious, they'll immediately send me for a 4D scan.

The doctor will call me on Monday with the results, and she's made a note of my ultrasound concerns. (The note probably reads: HYSTERICAL HARPY. CHART PERMANENTLY MARKED AS "DIFFICULT." HOPE KID DEVELOPS COLIC.) If I still "really want" an earlier ultrasound, she's sure the doctor will let me go "a little earlier", but in the meantime, please "relax", your baby is "just fine".

So I am much more relaxed now. Although now? I'm totally just back to the pouting and whining of BUT I WANT TO KNOW THE SEX SO I CAN BUY THINGS.

(A five-minute "gender determination" session at the walk-in 4D place costs $89. Ha! I spend more than that in five minutes at Sephora.)

Comments

VHMPrincess

twenty six weeks? Who has the patience for that??!!

And you're RIGHT - there are measurements to be checked and things to be seen, early!

Is there another doc in the practice? You could call when THAT doc is in the office and say you forgot to get it, can he write you one? Or claim you fell and want to make sure the baby's ok.

(I have heard the 4D ones are scary before 30 weeks or so because the baby has 0% body fat at this point)

Betty

Definitely do not rely on those mall sonograms - those are purely for entertainment purposes! I would call the doc and let him know that you would feel more comfortable with having a sono at 20 weeks, rather than 26.

amber

i shouldn't be giving you advice b/c (a) you don't me and (b)me? i have no child; however, i read your stuff all the time, so i totally know you (yes, in a crazy stalker-like way), so i can do this.

call your doctor and DEMAND a referral. it's the only way for you to get peace of mind.

good luck, queen amalah.

Kristie

I personally would wait until 26 weeks. The baby will look more like a baby at that point and less like an alien. I have the cutest picture of my oldest at 26 weeks and she looked exactly the same in the ultrasound as she did when she was born. I must admit that I wasn't concerned about giving birth to the elephant man though. I was pretty much just expecting to have a perfect baby because I deserved it.

Of course if you stress about this enough then you will probably raise your blood pressure which will prompt the doctor to want to take a look a little bit earlier to make sure everything is OK in there.

Ross

My wife was checked early because she had previously had a miscarriage, then we had our proper ultrasound around 20 weeks. As part of the process they did the measurements of the fluid at the back of the neck of the baby to be sent off to a lab to check for Down's Syndrome...maybe you can tell your doc you're concerned about something like that and have them run that test as well? It's not an amnio so it won't hurt the baby, but it's a prelim step to check for something that you really want to have some mental prep for before the baby's born.

Good luck, whatever you do!

Dr. Johnny Fever

For starters, I definitely WOULD NOT believe everything you read on the internet (even if that includes commenters on your own blog). If you do, you'll go completely batshit and start to believe that you're harboring a three-toed sloth from the planet Dillweed in your uterus.

Bottom line: it's your baby, your body, and you have a right to know and see what's going on. Stand your grond with your doctor and tell him/her you want the ultrasound referral now. In my own experience, if you are firm with your doctor and tell him/her firmly what you want, you'll get it.

type a

i'm down for #4. am lame and not at all afraid of illegally-stuff. pass the phone.

ginger

Ultrasound screening for anomalies is conventionally done no later than 24 weeks. If you want, I can e-mail you a nice review that addresses the efficacy of the method in detecting fetal anomaly.

I would suggest calling your doc and non-hysterically, non-confrontationally, calmly mentioning that given your previous history of early pregnancy losses you'd like to hear his reasoning for dropping the routine 20-week anomaly scan. (The only reason I'm saying you should be calm is that he's already condescending to you and if you're any kind of irrational he's apt to head-pat you even more.)

Good luck and let me know if you want the article- just e-mail me at the add above, dropping out the nospam.

R.belle

My doctors offie let you pay for an ultrasound if you wanted one. A friend of mine was worried the tech was unsure of sex so she paid 300 for another for confirmation. Maybe you can call and ask if this is possible.

Kristin

I'd be going insane if I had to wait till 26 weeks too.

I had mine done at 20 weeks and my pictures turned out great - clear head, nose, wee little feet and scrotum. As well I have greater peace of mind knowing that everything looked normal - the technician could tell me that there were no abnormalities to be seen at all.

Ugh. I'd push for the 20 weeks. Good luck!

kalisah

OK, it's been almost *cough*13*cough years since I carried my child, but I distinctly remember that my doctor ordered the ultrasound at 18 weeks. Turns out our calculations were a bit off, and the ultrasound dated the young one at 16.5 weeks, but still developed enough to tell me it was a BOY.

I think your doctor is nutso.

kathy

Hey I know a psychic who could almost certainly, totally almost positively tell you what sex the baby is!

Teesle

Ah ha! I have an idea...

The solution is to go around your OB/GYN completely. Cut him out of the loop!

This is the plan:

1. Develop phantom pains in your "upper right quadrant."
2. Call your primary care, describe the pain as a "stitch, like you get when playing badminton or water polo."
3. During your appointment, point to a spot under your ribcage and be vague about the pain.
4. They'll theorize as to what it is and you'll comment on a family history of gall bladder/liver/pancreas/etc. problems, and...
5. VOILA!! They'll send you for an ultrasound.

Then when you're there getting your perfectly healthy gall bladder/liver/pancreas/etc. looked at, you cozy up to the technician and get them to take a "quick peek" at the baby!

Genius? I think so!!

Remember: It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission :-)

sweetisu

26 WEEKS??? Haven't heard of that before. They all do 20wk'ish ones here.
Good luck!

T

You should have used my doctor. He has a machine in his office and will do ultrasound on demand,every visit if you like! BUT, you still are well within your rights to tell your doctor what you want and what will make you comfortable. He works for you. Women always seem to forget that. You pay him. You can fire him. If having the ultrasound NOW will help you sleep at night and relax, then it is better for the baby and better for you. You can be the boss.

Teesle

Does anyone know why my comment is coming up under another person's name?

Teesle

Oh... Never mind... I just figured it out. SORRY! (Having a post-lunch brain lapse.)

alfredsmom

You have the right to have an ultrasound because it is your body.
1) Certainly there must be another doctor in the office that will ok the ultrasound.
2) Have your husband bitch them out
3) Why does your Doctor really want you to wait? It doesnt cost him anything, its an insurance matter and isnt up to him.
4) Your baby, your body, your decision

Bitch people out.Thats the best plan.

callistawolf

26 weeks just CRUEL. Though I think the nurse was right about the triple screen so you shouldn't have much to worry about there. But 26 weeks? If you're anything like me, you want to know the gender yesterday. Or maybe that is just me. *blush*

I think they're just being mean.

Zoot

Why can't we just rent ultrasounds like we do Dopplers?

skimmilk

I have the nicest ob-gyn near DC who would let you get whatever your little heart desired. AND she wears cool shoes. Want her number?

andi

sooo naughty...but i work in medicine and all you have to do is say you are having some cramping...exactly like that...sort of casual like "i am just calling because i woke up this morning with some cramping...and i just want to make sure that everything is okay..." and lemme tell ya, they will start jumping around scheduling it for you and get you right in there...i promise...oh, AND your insurance will pay for it because it will seem imminently necessary for your comfort...i see this in our clinic all the time...an alternative is to call your ob's office (warning: this may potentially make your dr. hate you), and say that you have talked with your insurance company and they are willing to pay for the ultrasound at 20 weeks and thusly, you would like to go get yours, otherwise you will find another dr. on your plan that will help you out with this...otherwise, fly to oklahoma city tonight and i will be happy to introduce you to 20 people that will do it for you right here in my office...best wishes girlie...never forget also since you ARE pregnant, you have total lisence to act mentally insane, so BE demanding and get what you want...afterall, it is ALL ABOUT YOU right now!! kisses! a.

Jenn D

26 weeks! That is simply uncalled for. I'm about 3 weeks behind you on pregnancy schedule and I'm getting my ultrasound at 19 weeks on May 23rd.

That's bullshit, I'd pitch a fit. I think the gallbladder excuse is nothing short of genius.

I've had my gallbladder removed, while at the doc's office, tell them you're experiencing pain in your mid back section as well.

Cagey

I am almost at 16 weeks and listen, sister - I hear you! Now, *I* am worried because I had my heart set on an ultrasound at 18-20 weeks. I didn't even imagine a scenario where they make you wait til 26! Yikes!

Keep us posted!

Diana

usually a lurker - but just HAD to agree with the faking of the cramps - works every time. I also had a second ultrasound accidently when I drank an abnormally gargantuan amount of water before a regular check-up and my stomach was way too MASIVE for how far along I was. Anyway, good luck - where there is a will there is a way (and seeing baby's privates is a necessary evil)!!

kelly

Amy- Take comfort in that if he thought there was any chance there was anything wrong he would send you fgor tests and ultrasounds post haste. The fewer tests the better, really. I know you want every test under the sun, and I would too, but at least your doc doesn't seem to think ther is any reason to do tests soon. make sense?

Shiz

You are having eiter a boy or a girl, I can feel it.

jenambrose

Hello - major lurker here commenting for the first time. But I just HAD to. :) I understand the stress that you are under. I am currently pregnant as well (16 weeks) and have a 2 year old as well, so I know what you are going through. I would be freaking the heck out if that was my doctor.

Honestly, if your doctor isn't really listening to you, and you aren't getting the responses you think that you and your baby deserve, have you thought about switching OBs?

Many times, you can meet with one on a trial basis just to see how they are and test them out and see if you like them better than your current OB. Plus, you can raise the ultrasound issue and see what their normal policy is, and how they would handle things if you felt different than their "policy".

As things progress, other issues will come up and you want a doctor who you feel comfortable with completely and entirely confident in.

Good luck!

MelV

Push for the 20 weeker but hold off for the 3D. If your going to pay for the 3d you deffinately want Amalah Jr. to be more developed and squishy looking so it doesnt freak you out more. Also just a word of assvice that I know you just love, my dr warned me that Triple Screen results come back with false positives more frequently than would be appreciated by panicy first time moms. I am 30 weeks and going thru all this with you! Hang in there and never underestimate the power of whining!!

Meredith

I was depending on my 20 week ultrasound to restore my sanity. If Even still I had made an appointment at http://www.baby-insight.com/ in Potomac,MD. I paid the bucks to get all the fancy stuff done. I imagine this place is near you. It was much better than anything that went down with the doctor. And tears always seem to work for me. Usually they just appear when I'm not getting my damn way. I don't even have to act!

Amnesia

I would totally call that Dr. next week and request an NT Scan: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/544491.html

They do this around 18 weeks to make sure that there are no known big issues. As for the Triple Screen, it is most effective when combined with sonogram. I would state that you want one done because you want to see for certain that everything is ok prior to the legal abortion cutoff date. Freaky sounding, but it will get you what you want. Plus, you deserve to know that everything is ok - that baby Amalah has a head and hands and legs and all the other parts... right?

You can be aggressive - don't let them push you around. This is YOUR pregnancy. YOU are paying HIM. Don't forget that. You are the customer, there is a legitimate reason for this test, and demand that they perform it for your piece of mind. You don't take shit from us, why take it from the doctor?

R

I'm going to preface this comment by apologizing because this might be 'assvice' and because I've never been pregnant and I'm not a doctor. Anyway, here's my assvice - there have been a lot of reports lately that suggest double-checking the non-doctor places that do the ultrasounds. Like the ultrasound places in the malls. Basically because sometimes these people aren't well trained and set the settings too high, which doctors think might be unsafe for fetuses. So, I guess the take-home message is to check out your non-doctor ultrasound people and make sure that they're legit. Other than that, just want to say that I love your site - you're fabulous!

Real Girl

Gosh, I hate the idea of those mall ultra sounds. Not that I'm pregnant. Or live near malls...But why don't you just hold off until Monday when you get the triple screen results, and then see how you feel? If you're still dying for the ultrasound...there's always begging.

I'm a big fan of putting problems off for 2-3 days and then evaluating them again when less frantic.

Then again, that be me. This be you.
Good luck
xx

honestyrain

get the 4d five minute deal. if it's reputable and real and all that, do it. i would SO do it. wait til 26 weeks. what kind of stupid is that.

Linda

I think you should really insist on an ultrasound at 20 weeks. Your doctor doesn't seem that concerned about your needs. Maybe a new doctor? Sorry, don't mean to sound all pushy and assvicy-y, but seriously, I just have never heard of that. An ultrasound is not only to determine the gender - some people don't even want to find out. They have to take a look at their development, organs, size, etc... Hmm. I would continue to push the issue. Good luck.

honestyrain

but wait i just read what everyone else said and i forgot the fake the cramps thing. that's even better. do that. you have every right to trick people into doing what they should be doing anyway.

Jill

You're right and he is loco. 26 weeks is way too late to do anything, which we all know you won't have to do. But no sane dr would wait that long to take a look at that baby.

I had a dr who lived in lala land, nothing will go wrong, life is wonderful. He was wrong too many times, and as cute as he was, I had to switch drs. This is modern medicine. Use it!

Did I mention I hate that he is putting you through this? You should not be in the position where you have to demand an u/s at 20 weeks. So whatever tact you take, don't feel bad about it.

Kitty

I think that doctor has been around too many women for too long since he knows about the "Why, those are GREAT shoes" trick.

Me? I don't think I'd be able to wait that long either, but maybe if you make it a point to call twice a week (or more if necessary) and ask them about it they may just get so sick of you that they cave and say yes. Wear them down!

I'm glad to hear that things are going well otherwise. :)

Rachel

Okay, this comment is going to come off as rather harsh, but do you know his political inclinations? 24 weeks is about the end slot for medical terminations in most states, and it sounds to me like having all of his patients wait until 26 weeks is aan awfully convenient way of making sure everyone carries to term, regardless of what may be right for the mother/child.

The triple screen only screens for spinal stem defects (spinal bifida, downs, etc.) not other issues that can arise during pregnancy.

I would absolutely demand some sort of scan before 24 weeks.

kelly

I think that you should simply talk to your doctor and express your true concerns. Because you agreed with his suggestion that you were anxious to learn the sex of the baby, you did not give him the chance to understand your true concerns. And you did not give yourself the chance to express your true concerns. He made an assumption, which he should not have done, but you did not correct him at the time. I think its great that you are trying to get in touch with him to correct that assumption now.

Yes, you are paying your doctor and you need to feel satisfied, but don't short change the guy by dumping him without expressing yourself. The interaction between a doctor and a patient is a relationship, and like all relationships, it requires communication. You can't read each others' minds. He certainly has reasons for delaying the scan, and you have reasons for wanting it at 20 weeks. You two need to tell each other those reasons, and come to a decision based on an open discussion.

With that said, if you ask to have a discussion with him, and you still feel like he is not listening to you, and you tell him this and he isn't willing to be more open, then, you have every right to find someone with whom you could have a better relationship.

Finally, I'm not trying to say that communication with doctors is easy. It is so hard to say what you want without feeling intimidated! I can barely tell my hairdresser that I'm unhappy with my haircut, so I understand how difficult expressing oneself can be. You are doing a great job of expressing yourself on your blog and working through your needs and desires during this pregnancy.

Nicole

I by no means want to increase your concern, but thought I would clarify a couple of things. I worked for several years as a prenatal genetic counselor and have seen it all. I've cried with families making tough decisions about pregnancy termination for birth defects and harder with those who weren't given a choice. First, 20 weeks is just too late. It's not about determining gender. It is about doing a detailed anatomy scan. And a good ultrasonographer with a decent machine should be able to see a whole lot at 18-20 weeks, assuming mom is not too big. If, God forbid, something should come up, this gives time for additional testing and decision making. Second, the triple (or sometimes quad) screen checks for only THREE conditions: neural tube defects (an opening along the spine), Down syndrome, and a rare genetic condition called trisomy 18. So a baby with, for example, a heart defect or a clubfoot would probably have a totally normal triple screen. That's why both the triple screen and the ultrasound are used TOGETHER at about the same time of pregnancy.

Do what you have to do. Good luck.

Jenny

I was pretty much going to say what Nicole already said. Also, the triple screen is just that, a screen. It is not a diagnostic test and while it can alert your doctor to proceed with further testing, it can't take the place of a Level II ultrasound.

I might be having a kneejerk reaction, but I might even consider switching OB's if my doctor reacted the way yours described (but I'm entirely anal and asked about when they did the ultrasound at my very first prenatal visit).

Okay, all of that said, your baby is fine! And I'm sure there is nothing to worry about, so if you decide to wait that's up to you. If you decide to pursue it make sure you focus on the measurments/development part, b/c I really don't think most doctors care whether you know the gender or not. That's not really what the 18-20 week u/s is for, KWIM?

Mary

Having no background in the medical field I can only state this in layman's terms: your doctor is Fucking Insane! I live in Oklahoma, one of the top five ass-backward states in the union and even here they did my ultrasound at 18 weeks the first time (20 the second pregnancy). I have never in all my days heard of such a thing as waiting till 26 weeks for an ultrasound. Listen, can you ask your doctor for the "real" ultrasound and just pay out of pocket? My dr. normally only does the one, at 18-20 weeks. But with my second pregnancy I was delusional and paranoid and convinced it wasn't viable. So I begged them to let me have an u/s at 10 weeks and we just paid out of pocket. It was 250 bucks but I didn't really care, at that point. I was just so relieved to see everything was fine.

And I don't mean to whip you up into a panic, but this is just a word of warning...I don't know if you've read up on that triple screen thing? But that thing has a *very* high incidence of false positives. So please keep in mind when you do hear your results that they are most definitely NOT definitive. I skipped that thing both times because of the countless stories I'd read of all the stress women went through after being told there was something wrong, when it wasn't true.

Sarcastic Journalist

Doctors and ultrasound techs can be idiots. I'd go into it more, but well, let's just not do that.

Jamie

Long time lurker, so happy about your pregnancy! I just wanted to direct you to THIS on my blog [http://melinhead.blogspot.com/2003/12/bummer-we-had-our-ultrasound-this.html ] so you know that your reaction is totally normal. I cried like a crazy little baby when they couldn't determine the gender of my kid at 20 weeks, because I learned the first one's at 16 1/2 weeks (because of stupid false triple screen results--dont' even get me started on those; I didn't do the screen second time around). Anyway, I'm all into the mommy stuff and bitchin about pregnancy, so if you need an e-shoulder, you've got the URL.

Jessica

Take a weekend trip to the Allentown PA area. They have a 4D and 3D ultrasound place there that charges $75 for a quick gender peek. And, although you probably don't want to hear this, try to relax. It could be worse. With my first, I had ONE ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. This is my second and I had one at 11 weeks. I will not have the opportunity to have anymore because of my insurance and because my midwife doesn't think they are necessary. They only did the first one to date my pregnancy because my dates are so wacky. So, relax. 26 weeks will be here before you know it and you'll still have plenty of time to plan the nursery and choose which side of Gymboree you'll be shopping on. Good luck to you.

MomBecka

You have some good bloger friends with what seems to be great advice. I am glad.
Ultra-sounds are relatively new, and some Dr.s may be old guys who still don't trust them.

My assvice... Make sure you can speak freely with the Dr that will deliver your child. Do not allow yourself to be "stuck" with a small "g" god dr. They are human too.

Really, talking down to a pregnant woman is just wrong.

no name

I am from the medical profession, and internist
not an OB, but I can speak in some general
terms.

Really, there is no need to play games, lie, demand, shout, complain, threaten, manipulate your doctor. It will make things worse because
your doctor will see through it. He/she will know that she is being lied to, played, demanded
shouted, threatened, or manipulated.

And who likes that?

Also when you do these things, sometimes
things can back fire on you. Getting
more tests than necessary may expose you
to unecessary invasive procedure or
radiation risk. Getting your doctor
to think in an illogical fashion
may interrupt his usual logic for
doing things, etc (can you imagine, going
into the cockpit and telling the pilot
that you are worried about a patch of
gray clouds).

The worst idea is lying that you have
cramps. Because, 90% of diagnosis is based on the the patient's history. If you tell
the doctor that you have cramping,
he may do certain procedures/tests/surgeries thinking that you have something wrong
with you--because after all, you said
you had cramps!

Just make another appointment and speak
to your doctor like you are a regular, compassionate, mature, adult human being.

"Dr X, I have really some worries about my
Ultrasound. These are my concerns. 1. 2. 3.

I understand that you think doing it at x weeks
is best. Can you explain that to me again.
I just can't help it worrying about it. I read one thing on the internet, and you are clearly telling me another thing. Can you please help
me resolve this? If not, would it be
all right with you if I ask for a second
opinion?

I think it would make me feel a lot better if I did this at x weeks for the following reason. 1. 2. 3.

So if you don't see anything seriously wrong
with it, could you put yourself in my shoes
and order it for me? It would really help
me sleep better--and maybe the baby will
too :)"

There.

You will not be labeled as a difficult
patient, but rather, an honest and sincere
lady worried about her pregnancy. Any human being can see that. Doctors are a not evil
calculating inhumane empire that you have to fight against, figured out about, or stand on the other side of. But if you
really feel that way, then it's time to change
your doctor, or your perspective. Or both.

Di

We were in Aruba at the same time, fancy that! Only we were on our honeymoon and you on your babymoon :)

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