A Post That Will Put Me On Social Services' Watch List
But What About the Placenta?

Dreams, Spoons & Pimpage

I am officially obsessed with my baby's sex. Even though it will be another four or five weeks before The Big Unveiling at the ultrasound, I cannot stop thinking about it.

("It" being the presence of a penis or a vagina and the answer to this question: Will I one day ruin all other women with my perfection in the mind of my son...or will I be the one woman my daughter fears turning into more than anything on earth?)

Last night I dreamt that someone gave us a jar of powder to sprinkle on my belly. If the powder turns blue, it's a boy. Pink, a girl. All very logical and realistic, as is so typical of my dreams.

The power turned blue, and then the dream took a much more sensible turn when I went to work and found that my office had moved everyone's offices around and wouldn't tell me where mine was.

(This could be stemming from my current anxiety over the fact that there are NEVER ANY PLASTIC SPOONS IN THE OFFICE KITCHEN ANYMORE. For the love of God, restock the plastic spoons! I brought pudding!)

*************************************************************

Okay, I wrote all that many, many hours ago. Obviously, I really had no idea where I was going with this entry and was just typing so I could enjoy the look of all my pretty words.

Then work got really, really busy and then I got to discussing home remodeling projects with Zoot, which was really important and time consuming.

(And consider yourselves warned: there will soon be much talk of kitchen cabinets, countertops, tile, hardwoods and the orgasmic pleasure of a brand new floor-to-ceiling pantry that will soon be mine.)

(Also possibly home equity loans.)

After work, we went out for crappy Mexican food because I wanted queso and nachos. You know, for the calcium. For the baby.

And for the second time today someone spontaneously congratulated me on the baby. Jesus God, I officially look pregnant. I can totally start responding with, "WHAT baby?"

Something I have ALWAYS wanted to do.

Anyway, that was my day. And that's my entry. Sorry.

(P.S. All D.C. area residents are cordially invited to listen to Z104 at around 8 a.m. tomorrow morning, because you just might get some really awesome restaurant advice from a local celebrity blogger with a really sexy voice.)

(P.P.S. And yes, we're both aware that Jason is giving restaurant recommendations on a drive-time radio program that is sponsored by McDonald's. The irony has been noted, moving on.)

Comments

Frema

Totally get where you're coming from. I think about sex ALL the time.

Frema

Totally get where you're coming from. I think about sex ALL the time. Oh, wait....

Orrie

You should totally try swinging a wedding band over your tummy with a piece of string! I've done it with three of my friends, and it's been right every time.

christina

Mmmm...pudding. I personally think you're going to have a girl, but what do I know?

Franci

Hi there,

I used to wonder about my babies' sex, when I was expecting them, too.
There are many (possibly misleading) theories:
If you are craving for salty it'll be a boy, if you keep wanting milky things like pudding, sweet yogurt it's a girl.
Who knows? - only the little one inside does :-)))

Franci, mother of a son and a girl

MamaKaren

I am so pissed at myself for not reading this last night, because then I would have made sure that I had Z104 on instead of switching around my stations everytime a commercial came on, so God only knows what I was actually listening to when Jason was recommending. I do read his site, though, so I do get some benefit from his expertise (and your willingness to dine out.)

Lisa

If you are really sick it's supposed to be a girl. Not so sick, boy. The old wive's tale has proven completely true amongst my family and friends.
So I am betting girl.
Having a daughter is a wonderful thing. After all your son will never reject you and think you are stupid for, oh, breathing.

Lisa

Sorry for the bitterness of the comment above. I have a 13 year old. Send cookies.

Franci

again...
There is a table developed by some Chinese that determines baby's gender according to Mom's age at conception.
It is said to be working for 70% of the cases. Not bad, hm?
It was valid for me (two babies) and for two other babies, too.

Stacy

Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy.

kalisah

I'm with Stacy.

I need to SEE PICTURES of belly & ass to be totally sure...but from what you've described: BOY.

And I'm 8 for 8 predicting office babies.

Shiz

FIRST: I love the scene in (yes, I know) Two Weeks Notice when Hugh Grant asks a job applicant about her baby, and she, a large black woman, keeps saying, "What BABY?" "WHAT BABY?"

SECOND: Jason is all that and he has a sexy voice? You are blessed, girl. (Congrats, Jason!)

Chris

What!? You mean there is ANOTHER DC based blogger with a sexy voice?!

I'm so bummed...

Lindsay

Long time listener, first time caller ;)

Congratulations to you and Jason on the lil one! I have a feeling that it's a girl, and you're going to be a great mom. Four girls on my hall in my college dorm are expecting.. You've got the American dream going on - Plus you're super smart and a great writer to boot

Don't worry, I'm not drinking the water...

MamaKaren

All of the old wives tales for gender prediction contradicted each other in all three of my pregnancies! I took this quiz (http://www.childbirth.org/articles/boyorgirl.html), which took into consideration my weight gain, cravings, pregnancy symptoms, age at conception (my age, not the baby's), maternal grandmother's hair color, how I hold a coffee mug, the hair on my legs...

My instincts were correct for the first two, though, and wrong for the last one.

BIYF

The wife and I tried all the conceivable (HA!) methods of determining out boy's sex before we found out. They were all wrong. Thankfully the ultrasound was right, cause I would have been pissed if I had to repaint. I also say thankfully, because I've known two people who were told one sex at the time of their ultrasounds, only to give birth to the other. Enjoy that thought with your pudding.

Mirella

I am so sad Jason was on a DC radio station three days after I moved from DC and therefore could not listen. But I'm sure he did a stellar job!

MK

Yes- the next time someone says "Congrats" respond with, "for what?"...

Zoe

(This is my first post after being a longtime reader... hi!!)

Please don't forget your loyal subjects with all the hysteria of Jason's fame and the pregnancy... We shall miss reading the musings af Queen Amalah.

According to old wives' tales, putting weight on all over means that you'll have a girl and staying the same with a basketball-type belly means you'll have a boy - on that solid indication i'm guessing it's a boy :)

Morgan

Why not name your baby Amalah... boy or girl! :)

The comments to this entry are closed.