Not Entirely Changing the Subject
April 28, 2005
In summary: I am still mad.
I want to thank everyone for their comments...about 30 seconds after posting yesterday I did a full-on forehead slap and went, "Jesus God, girl, what have you DONE? The assvice, it will destroy you!"
But instead of dozens of I've-missed-the-point-entirely-and-want-to-lecture-you-about-mercury-levels-in-tuna-fish comments, I got dozens of thoughtful, supportive and unbelievably articulate comments. Would y'all talk to my doctor for me? Because you are like, SMART and shit.
(One note of anal-retentive clarification: I am not getting an ultrasound at a mall. No one ever said anything about a mall. I'm talking about a 4D "limited medical ultrasound" that uses the same equipment a doctor uses for a Level II scan at a very nice, reputable facility that in no way compares to some 25-cent blood pressure assessment at the mall right next to the Orange Julius.)
But your comments have inspired me not to do that right now. We're sticking with our original plan: extra-bonus 4D scan at around 30 weeks for our own entertainment, full medical ultrasound by 22 weeks.
My doctor just doesn't know that second part yet.
I really think my baby is just fine. While this whole situation has raised my (already admittedly high) anxiety level to an intrusive point, the anxiety stems from my somewhat-wretched ability to stand the fuck up for myself and a tendency to shy away from confrontation.
However, I'm also het up on the principle of the whole thing. And that principle is called: This is what I want, and you're not giving me a single valid reason why I shouldn't get exactly what I want, and in fact, you're not making any sense at all.
An additional EIGHT WEEKS seems like an awfully long time to postpone a diagnostic ultrasound simply because you're concerned about "picture quality."
This brings up the nagging fear that Rachel hit the nail on the head with her comment: "it sounds to me like having all of his patients wait until 26 weeks is an awfully convenient way of making sure everyone carries to term, regardless of what may be right for the mother/child."
Ohhhh. BAD DOCTOR. Do not even GET ME STARTED.
Look, Jason and I want this baby. This baby is the most wanted baby in the history of want. I love this baby with every fiber of my being and I loved it from the instant I saw those two pink lines. (Well, probably from the instant I saw those two pink lines on say, test stick number four, only because I thought the first three were fucking with me.)
So you give me some bullshit reason about delaying a routine procedure because you're afraid I might make some flip decision about my child's life if you let me have it sooner?
Dude, that gets me so mad I can't fucking SEE STRAIGHT. And it makes me say the word "dude."
Now, I could be seeing a sinister hidden agenda where there is none. I just won't know until I speak with him directly, most likely on Monday, and I can get a better grasp on his whole (whacked-out) (stupid-ass) approach to ultrasounds. We'll see how that goes. And then we'll either put this whole business behind us, or my next request for comments will be for the names of obstetricians in the Washington, DC area.
Either way, I'm getting the damn ultrasound referral from him. Oh, but yes.
Would you mess with this girl? No, I didn't think so.