July 22, 2005
Just to give everybody a little point of reference here...
(The Juicy Couture track pants, they howl in protest.)
My belly button (seen here in the "OFF" position) is completely at the mercy of my child's head -- it'll pop out and then mysteriously recede as he flips and squirms and kicks my soft vital organs from within.
At his most active, it looks like I've got a pair of rabid raccoons going at it in there.
As for the girl in the first picture -- who really needs to eat a goddamn sammich or something -- she never, ever expected to get this far, and only posed for that first picture under protest, because something was definitely going to Go Very Wrong.
Nothing has Gone Very Wrong, and for that, she is grateful, and would probably tell the girl in the second picture to shut the hell up with the whining and try to enjoy this amazing time in her life.
She would also tell her to quit with the anxiety over paint and furniture and household clutter. She's no longer living in contant fear that her baby is going to DIE and LEAK OUT every time she goes to pee, and seriously, a dread fear of whether or not the new kitchen cabinets will arrive in time is actually kind of lame.
Then the girl in the second picture would totally kick the other girl's skinny ass, because DAMN, she's really fucking hormonal right now.