Venting Prevents Explos-ion
Not So Much With the Magical Time Bullshit


Just to give everybody a little point of reference here...

6 weeks:


30 weeks:


(The Juicy Couture track pants, they howl in protest.)

My belly button (seen here in the "OFF" position) is completely at the mercy of my child's head -- it'll pop out and then mysteriously recede as he flips and squirms and kicks my soft vital organs from within.

At his most active, it looks like I've got a pair of rabid raccoons going at it in there.

As for the girl in the first picture -- who really needs to eat a goddamn sammich or something -- she never, ever expected to get this far, and only posed for that first picture under protest, because something was definitely going to Go Very Wrong.

Nothing has Gone Very Wrong, and for that, she is grateful, and would probably tell the girl in the second picture to shut the hell up with the whining and try to enjoy this amazing time in her life.

She would also tell her to quit with the anxiety over paint and furniture and household clutter. She's no longer living in contant fear that her baby is going to DIE and LEAK OUT every time she goes to pee, and seriously, a dread fear of whether or not the new kitchen cabinets will arrive in time is actually kind of lame.

Then the girl in the second picture would totally kick the other girl's skinny ass, because DAMN, she's really fucking hormonal right now.



You look much more like me in the second picture as opposed to the first so I have to say I love the belly. You tell those rabid racoons to keep the ruckus down so Mamma can obsess over other things.


Such a pretty belly!


Notice the length of the pant strings in pic #1 vs. pic #2!

So cute, your belly is!


Hee. I call for a cage match!


My sister said, "The thing they don't tell you is, not only will you feel pukey and hormonal, but you will hurt. Pregnancy hurts. Your bones and organs shift, and you can feel it happen." Wow.


Hi Amy,

I came upon your website one day unexpectedly. I was having a terrible day that day. Once I started reading your archived letters I laughed harder then I ever had which totally cheered me up. I am presently 25 weeks pregnant and too expecting a little boy. I wouldn’t say little, apparently from my first ultrasound image he going to be a very big boy. I had miscarried a few years ago and I was surprised because for some weird reason I did not believe I could ever get pregnant again. Soon neuroses set in. I was afraid to cough think that my baby “my come loose and fall out” and I pretty much wanted to stay immobile as not to do anything to harm this little one. If someone looked at my stomach I was ready for attack. I became the most furious protector of this little life inside me. After all how do I know what they were thinking? I was suspicious of everyone one. *smile*. It all seems funny now as second trimester is here and my hormones are a little more balanced once I got past the point where there was less danger of miscarriage I started to relax. It has been the great and helpful listening as you go through your pregnancy with humor and wit. You help me laugh all the way through swollen feet and crazy hormonal moments which made me feel like a crazy mad woman. After all this is the best and most special time in our lives… Rebecca


Hmmm..Looks like you are getting bigger....


Preggy Bellies are HOT! OK, wait, that makes me sound like a sicko preggy belly fetish freak. Oh what the hell - Preggy Bellies are HOT! I was never more in love with my wife than when we were pregnant with our boy, and her big beautiful Boodah protuded proudly. Well, except for maybe the day she actually birthed the boy. Yeah, I loved her even more then. Actually, I love her more every day. Jason, hang on buddy. It just gets better and better.


Thank you, thank you for sharing!! In particular, I really appreciated your b*tching about the heat earlier this week, because I was in D.C. as well. I was so depressed because I felt like a wimp that I was getting so exhausted from walking around the Metro and the Mall (merely WALKING, mind you - I was wondering just how lazy could I be?). When I read your site, I FELT SO MUCH BETTER.

It's nice to read that someone else besides myself is hormonal right now, too - maybe that explains why I have been so tearful this week.

I agree that it is imperative to keep sight of the big picture and appreciate what an incredible time this is in our lives. It's just damned hard when you feel like you've been run over by a sweaty steamroller and the faucet to your eyes is permanently switched to "on". :-)


Oh, so cute! I wish I could verbalize how inexplicably larger you may get in the next ten weeks. Let's just say i was a 2 in my first belly picture, and XL maternity pants would not fit at the end. Stretchy cotton track pants with a draw string are our friends!


By the looks of picture #1, you've never had this problem, but one of the things I most look forward to about getting pregnant is the fact that my gut will be disguised by a human life. "Pouch? What pouch? Oh, that's just little Frema announcing her presence," I'll say. And the gut will magically disappear with the temporary baby fat once I've given birth and everyone will live happily ever after.


Something about this post was very touching to my sensitive, hormonal heart. I am so genuinly happy that you have made it to this point despite all that you have been through and I wish well to you and your soon-to-be-increased family.

And your belly is so cute :)

Real Girl

Hee! Let's hope that when Big Squishy's born, *he* doesn't fit into the track suit!

Can't wait to see pics of the wee bugger. You know, born and all.


I cannot even tell you how reassuring it is to read that other pregnant women are out there sobbing their eyes out over every blooming little thing too. I seriously thought I was losing mah mind.

To know that there are others, well, I'm so relieved I think I might sob my eyes out.


Well, here I go... becoming one of the women I hated when I was 30 weeks pregnant... Guess what, you'll get even bigger!

That said - beautiful photos! About the hormone thing - use it, enjoy it, its the only time you have an excellent excuse to be a bitch! Also remember, after you've had the baby, you'll still be homonal. Best advice I got was it takes 9 months to get there, and 9 months to get back... hormonally speaking of course!

Love this site!


Okay...seriously? I cannot BELIEVE that you are 30 weeks pregnant and still wearing non-pregnant pants. You are the most adorable pregnant person EVER!!


I categorically refuse to believe that there are 24 extra pounds there. No way. Absolutely not. You have a teeny tiny pregnant adorable belly. Stop lying in the sidebar already.

And HURRAY for 30 weeks! Eat the goddamn sammich already.


It looks like you're hiding a baby in there or something.


Skinny girl needed a sandwich? Oh. Maybe I have an unhealthy body image problem, because I thought skinny girl looked pretty good.

Though, so does pregnant girl... quite fantastic, actually.


Amalah...Momalah...dearest Queen of Everything:
Am *finally* de-lurking to say hello (*waves hello*) and to admit that i, too, resemble the 2nd picture. But, alas, am not with child. Nooooooo. I am with KIDNEY DIALYSIS FLUID (dun dun duuuuun!). I would stun you photographic evidence of said horror but, lo, am new to this here blogging thingy and not so hip with the pics and the flickr and the shutterfly. so, pics just yet. But, do "come over to my house a-my house..." and read about it...or not. In any case, I will try my darndest to regale readers with tales of medical stupidity and thiscanonlyhappentopeopleinthemovies! ME. Lurve!! to you, the babylah and Mr. Fantastic Foodie & Husband, Jason.


I would never, ever tell a 30 week pregnant woman to shut the hell up about anything. The hormones can give you superhuman strength, when they aren't draining the hell out of you.

You look awesome. I looked like crap at week 30 (stretch marks and extra fat and such,) all three times, but you have the cutest most perfect looking baby belly.

Oh, and be prepared for motherhood to make you cry your eyes out at everything, even once the hormones settle down.


Wait, you're pregnant in the second photo?


Betcha I have more stretch marks on my tummy than you, and I'm not even pregnant.

Has Boybalah gotten to where he'll stick out an arm and keep it there, making you look like you've got an alien in there? Good times, that. :)

Modern Day Hermit

You look great, I'll only post my (almost 28 weeks) preggo belly online for a lot of cash.

I've hit some weird phase in my pregnancy. I've been pretty laid back for the duration, until now. Now I am freaking out about being able to care for the little one, will I ever feel better and will I ever get everything done before he arrives (did I mention we are moving?).

Oh, and no teasing, either. In my pregnant mind, teasing is just a masked attempt at mockery and isn't considered-light hearted in the least.


Awww, I'm all mushy and happy for you and Jason and Babalah! I feel like congratulating you daily. :)

Also, that photo of you cracks me up every single time I see it; it's just too adorably funny!

My browser title says "Spurt" when I'm in comments? I'm a little afraid to Google it....


Oh crap, please ignore that last part of my comment. I'm lame.


OMG you are so totally going to lose every pound you've gained. Am I jealous? Just a tad. You look gorgeous!




Photo #1: Belly I would kill for right now.
Photo #2: Belly I would kill for right now.

:) Congrats, on both the obviously healthy pregnancy AND the renewed peace of mind.


I, too, am 30 weeks pregnant. I admit that your belly is much more becoming than mine. But mine's been through the belly stretching routine twice before.

Good luck to you. Hope it stays as cute to the very end!


You look great. I can't believe it's been 30 freakin' weeks already. WTF!
No stretch marks. You are a rare breed.


Pregnancy and hormones are strange things. A thing that seemed solid right and unquestionable in a time turns out to be minuscule and unimportant in another time. And vice versa.
I thing clear vision and being able to watch ourselves like 'from outside' is very important. Especially when our brain is altered:)
As for the fotos: Your belly is nice and not having any strech marks is a real gift, but the way you hold your body makes MY back hurt. Do you not have a back ache?


Awwww, I have to agree with the prego belly being the cutest. I am not married yet and of course no child, however when I do wed and have a child, I pray to God that my stomach looks beautifully shaped, and holy crap you don't look much different, its kinda sickening in a cute little way... Does that make sense, ok umm no!! :) but just wanted to give u congrats and wish u luck or what not. You are sooooo tooo cute though awwww :)

RockStar Mommy

Word on the hormonal front. That's all I have to say about that.

Oh, except your belly is smaller than mine so quit your bitchin or else I'm going to force feed you some fried stuff smothered in cheese.


I used to be a little obsessed with my round belly when I was pregnant, for that reason, I think I'll try to be pregnant again soon! haha, j/k~


Well, since your son is being rowdy and isn't even born yet, I'd prepare to have a rowdy child grow into a rowdy teenager.
Looks like a moster party while you and Jason are away is in your future. Remember, there is such a thing as the house being TOO clean.

And I'd say judging from the belly pics that you're doing very well. I'm sure you're ready to stop being pregnant now, but you're coming into the home stretch so it won't be too much longer. Soak up as much cute pregnant lady attention that you can while it lasts! Because when he's born? It's all about him. ;)


I was looking at your registry because I also just had a baby and wanted to see what someone with more taste than me was hoping to get for their baby. One thing that is not on there that someone was nice enough to lead me to is the "Ultimate Baby Wrap". I just got mine and it is wonderful fabulousness!! Especially at night when your arms are just too tired to hold him tight and you have to rock into the wee wee hours of the morning. It holds him all snug and soft like. ALso great for getting things done around the house and keeping him near. Just something for you to take a peek at. As for all the things you are worried about I can guarantee you that the minute you hear that first precious cry none of it will mean a thing.

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