Baby Mama Did A Bad, Bad Thing

Not So Much With the Magical Time Bullshit

Late Friday afternoon, Jason IMed me with the news that Carbon Leaf, our favorite band in the world (and who are also "our" band and ours alone), will be playing  at D.C.'s 9:30 Club in early September. The 9:30 Club, while awesome, is smoky, insanely crowded and standing-room only. And everytime I've gone there somebody has spilled a beer on me.

So I told Jason that I probably wouldn't be up for attending a concert there when I am, you know, NINE MONTHS PREGNANT.

And within five minutes, I was sobbing hysterically.

And typing things like this:







(At this point Jason reminded me that since we were instant messaging, the baby probably had no idea what I was typing, also, did I know I had Caps Lock on?)

(No, he said more comforting-like things than that, although secretly I think he is scared to death of Me and My Batshit Mood Swings right now.)

So then I spent the next hour hiding in my office with the door closed while I tried to 1) stop crying already, and 2) clean up my mascara with some napkins I found in a drawer.

There is no point to this entry other than to say: the anxiety level, she is running a mite high right now.

In other news, Jason spackled some holes in the walls of the baby's room. Who, by the way, we're pretty sure almost definitely has a name now. And I did some laundry, reorganized the bathroom cabinets and put all our CDs in alphabetical order. Also, Ceiba peed on my Boppy Pregnancy Comfort Support Pillow.



hang in there!


You're almost there! It'll be awesome!


Hang in there, girl! Everything has a way of working itself out. Once you hold that little man in your arms nothing will be the same. You'll be a great mom. Take the few weeks you have left before he's born to just be a wife. It'll be the last chance you'll ever get. From that magical moment on you'll also be a mom. And you'll be expected to do a whole new set of things...lol


Oh sweetie, I wish there was something I could do. Would it help if I told you I'm going to see Carbon Leaf when they play here in Nashville because you recommend them?


Wait wait wait ... you didn't tell us what the almost definite name is???


Let the nesting begin... you're in the home stretch now. Hang in there, IT'S ALL TOTALLY WORTH IT.

OH, and Carbon Leaf rules... you should submit a playlist for Bloggers Choice on my site (emailed you a while back). Be fun to have you on board.

Bonanza Jellybean

It will be over soon, I promise. This is the really crappy part.

Just remember this when you and Jason start talking about #2. :)


A chocolate frosted cupcake and a good cry during the movie "Little Women" always make me feel better when I'm in emotional turmoil. You should treat yourself today... and know that you were chosen to be his mommy for a reason. No one will love him like you do. :)


aww.. poor Amalah. relax, you're not the first pregnant woman ever to have had those thoughts, and you won't be the last. It's only normal--your life is changing in a huge way, of course you're going to be a little frustrated. You'll make a great mom, though, and Squishy-who-may-be-named is going to love you as much as you love him. (a lot).

And Ceiba? tsk. Amalah's got enough to worry, so knock that shit off.


you'll get through it, and someday you'll look back and laugh about it. Just don't laugh about it now or it will make you cry that you're making fun of yourself when you're really upset :)
Take Care


Totally normal behavior for a pregnant woman. By the end you just want to NOT BE PREGNANT ANY MORE, THANK YOU.
My recommendation in addition to the cupcakes and sobbing-chick-flick movies (my personal favorite..."My colors are blush and bashful...") is a grilled cheese sandwich and salt/vinegar potato chips. And a real coke.
Also, my cat shit in the nursery when I brought Sam home, AND ate the string from the balloons so that we had to rush him to the vet.

As so many wise people before me have said -- hang in there! You'll be great!


Can I just profess my forever and ever love for you AMEN because of this post?


Because I hate being pregnant too. Just hate it. And the guilt associated with those feelings. And people who just love being pregnant and everything is fluff and bunnies. Ugh.

Of course it might having something to do with the fact that it is a gazillion degrees outside and I'm still throwing up non-stop at 29 weeks.

But still? LOVE YOU.


Holy nesting instinct, BatMan!


I'm trying really really hard not to laugh, but you are so in the home stretch now! As soon as I got completely sick of being pregnant, as soon as I started, er, hating the monster that was you know, pummeling my insides, that's when I had him. Oh, and it was on the due date too.

August babies are THE WORST.


oh, crap! those boppys are the THE COOLEST for moms. stewpid puppy. must be the jealousy creeping out.


I so hated having an August baby that I begged the OB to help me find adoptive parents at my last prenatal visit. My fingers looked like baby bananas and I got stuck behind the steering wheel of the stupid ParentMobile that we replaced the TransAm with and had to beep like hell to get the attention of a neighbor (who wet his pants at the sight of me).
Now that August baby is a surly teenager, but oh! the intervening 15 years were bliss.
You will survive and manage like all the rest of us. But you are prettier, write more elegantly and have a killer sense of humor, which will make everything better.


Okay - so I have a SNOOGLE instead of a BOPPY, but if any of my animals peed on it? I'd cry and probably call amazon to overnight me a new one. Do you want me to call amazon to overnight YOU a new one?


You seem to have the 2nd sweetest husband EVER! (Mine of course is the sweetest, sorry).

Real Girl

It seems like the worrying thing would be if you *weren't* feeling this way. Don't you think it's always the parents who are all: "F*ck off Dr. Spock, I'm baby omniscient and you have pointy ears anyway" who wind up screwing over their children by sheer hubris?

Point being: I'd be more worried if you were crowing about what a perfect parent you were going to be right away just by osmosis.

Those people suck anyway.


hi! came across your site via rockstar mommy and i must say, both of you ladies are freaking hilarious! congrats on the upcoming baby! i'm loving your entries, esp. since i'm about 9 wks along myself. 1st kid, 1st time, 1st everything. haven't even told most of my friends! i'll be reading more of your tales! hang in there!


You mean, Carbon Leaf hasn't set aside the Amalah box so that the great Amalah, Jason and Boybalah can enjoy the show without smoke and other things that would not be good for her? Philistines!


Everyone tells me that it's normal to feel this way, so I think we should believe them cause it might just save our sanity. And try eating a Snickers ice cream bar or two-- they make everything all better.



I think you are totally within the normal range for worrying. Freak out as much as you want! And forget wiping away the mascara. You're pregnant! No one at your office should be surprised if you look like you've gone crazy.


Maybe you could go anyway, despite your pregnant state? Besides, Howard U hospital is only like, 2 blocks away. Okay, I'm kidding...sort of...i dunno noodle over it...you never know. But seriously, at the very least go to Ben's Chili bowl and get something smothered in chili and cheese like their fries (mmm...chili cheese fries!). If you're lucky, you can sit near the door and listen to Carbon Leaf while you're eating. You deserve it. And about the boppy prenancy pillow? I feel you, girl. My loveydovey cat (who is not nearly as beautiful as Maxo or as cute as Ceiba) peed on my Mogu and I remain crushed to this day. Hit Zoot up on her offer.


my son is now 3 months old. it has been the best, hardest thing I have ever done. but he rewards me with smiles now - and it is worth it!


My son is three months old now too. And I agree with lindsay that it's the hardest, but best thing I've ever done. He's sitting on my lap drooling right now... I'm sure it's his way of saying he loves me too. Being pregnant was horrible, but you forget all about it once you have the little guy in your arms. You even forget about the fact that you were once so pregnant that you couldn't do things like take off your underware without loosing your balance and falling over.

Dr. Johnny Fever

Just so long as Ceiba doesn't pee on the baby...

Lisa V

You know when I was about 22, a very pregnant woman came into my salon. She was hip and funny and having her third child. All of us childless women sat around her in awe. She did us a huge favor. She told us that everyone always tells you either the horrible shit, or the pollyanna it's wonderful stuff, but not one can tell you the truth. The truth she said is that some of it's good and some of it's bad. But one day you will be sitting on a patio drinking margaritas with your girlfriends and realize you still have that part of you that was around before the babies cameSshe will still come out and play when you want her to. And you have this beautiful, maddening little creature to love the rest of the time.

Amy, you are going to like yourself as a mom, and you will find time to be just Amy too.

Susie Sunshine

I hated EVERY second of pregnancy. I didn't glow, I got fat and bitchy. The baby doing jazzercise inside (while reassuring me that I hadn't accidentally killed it by eating something on the forbidden list, like CHOCOLATE)felt more like I swallowed a live trout.

Yet because babies are so intoxicatingly adorable and fun and I'd gladly sit home and just STARE at their cuteness, I repeated this process FOUR TIMES.

Hi, I'm Susie. I hate pregnancy and have spent over three years of my life in this condition.


*De-lurker* here... Absolutely love the site!

Anyway, when I was 9 months along with my first I was hit with the whole Columbine mess... I had a complete and utter breakdown about how I was bringing this child into a horrible world and how could I even think about doing that. You go about your day thinking that everything's great and then WHAM, the safest place to send your kids ends up the most dangerous place. Then it turned into a complete panic attack that I am going to do my best to do everything right and then someday they will find out that "peas cause cancer". My girlfriends still tease me about this...

I am the most laid back, level headed person out there and yes, pregnancy brought even me down to a babbling, sobbing, non-coherent mess. But it is SO WORTH it. I now have a son, and a daughter and they brighten my day with the mere thought of them.

Pregnancy is horrible, the first four months are hell... but then the fun starts. And when you think of your little ones and a tingle runs down your spine and a warm fuzzy feeling comes over you... then you will be able to tell all the others that come behind you... HANG IN THERE!! and mean it as only a mother can. Take care of yourself and enjoy the ride :-)


Maybe you should start watching soap operas to reassure yourself that you are a normal person with normal, pregnant emotions. You'll find yourself saying, "I may be nuts, but at least I didn't inseminate myself with sperm my husband deposited at a fertility clinic years ago EVEN THOUGH he just got a vasectomy because he doesn't want to pass on the evil Lavery curse. I'll definitely be a better mother than THAT bitch."

*end of shameless AMC plug-slash-rant*


Sounds like you need a "you" day! Take one in the next few weeks - go to the spa, go see a movie, have lunch out, buy something new and pamper just you that day. It is a nice way to relax before the baby comes and then you'll feel more calm! Trust me - it helped me! Boy do I remember those last few crazy weeks! :)

Humor Girl

You poor thing! I'm sure i'll be equally as irrational..but I consider that part of my charm. :)


I have no idea what you're going through yet, but just know that all of us are here to comfort you and make you laugh. If anything, go read Zoot's entry on boob sweat again - too funny! (Ha, now watch me be pg during the summer and have the exact same entry!)

Bad Ceiba! That's not your potty!
You know she's only doing that b/c she wants attention. She already knows that something is going to happen where she'll be ignored forever. ;)
Take care!

RockStar Mommy

I'm having a Twin Peaks experience reading this. Like, it's me, but it's not me, because it's you. This pregnancy shit is for the fucking birds! If one more person tells me "it's almost over", SCREW YOU! 7 weeks of sweating profusely and panting and having a heat stroke just from walking up a flight of steps and horrible leg cramps and pinched nerves and back pain and hip spasms and raging hormones and not being able to wear any cute summer shoes because my feet are swollen because it's hotter than the rain forrest out there might not seem that long to you freaks, but it is FOREVER to me. Bastards.


Don't you just love these pregnancy hormones?

And the boppy thing? I haven't bought one yet b/c I have so many pillows on my bed right now I think my husband will kick me out if I add another!

suzanna danna

do you need a present?

Sarcastic Journalist

Gah, I understand about the band thing. My FAVORITE guy, Rufus Wainright, is going to be in Tulsa. I just got back from Tulsa. No Rufus for me.

Also, please know that the freaking and the "baby won't love me" feeling is NORMAL. I think most women go through this. Heck, I'm on #2 and I'm like "I won't love this baby and it will knooooooowwwwww!"

It'll be okay, but its still perfectly normal to feel the way you do.


Several of my readers pointed me in your direction, and I'm glad they did. I just posted about how miserable I am being pregnant. This post (and the one with the girlfriend's guide list) gave me a much needed smile and reminder that I'm not alone. Thank you. :-)


This is too funny. I am 31 weeks with my first child, a boy, in sunny HELLISH Florida. Everyone tells me right off "you should never have gotten pregnant so that you're due at the end of the summer." Gee thanks. I am learning that. I sweat in my office when its 75 degrees, outside is UNBEARABLE. I can't imagine anything worse than being pregnant in the summer in Florida! It's nice to see the humor here! I need it! On top of being pregnant, I had a bout with kidney stones. Too fun.


My third kid was a total surprise. Did not want third kid. Cried bitter tears about third kid. Told in-utero kid not to take it personally, that I would love him when he got here. Try that, it works.


AHHH Cant take the heat here in this stupid state. Anyone want to trade with me? Trying to talk my husband into moving to Alaska. I could hang with Santa or whatever in the north-pole. I have the belly for it. How can 40 weeks go this slowly? I get the lovely stuffy nose that goes with some pregnancies, only I get it so bad that I cant sleep at night. HORRIBLE. I HATE BEING PREGNANT. Ok so I will tell this little one that it is nothing personal. I dont hate him at all - just the stuff thats going on right now!

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