You Will Never Ever Guess Who Bought Herself A Scanner This Weekend
Wednesday Advice Smackdown

The Many Loves of Amalah, Part Fin



Specifically, many of you requested "mall bangs" photos. And really, I looked. But I could not find any mall bangs photos. This is not to say that I did not wear mall bangs, because I did, and lo, they were multi-layered and gravity-defying, but I just don't seem to have any photos of said bangs in my possession.

I did find one photo of me with about half my hair pulled into a ponytail on the side of my head, and I may also have been wearing a fanny pack in this same photo, but you know what? I'm not going to post that one. I embarrass myself for your pleasure enough as it is. No one needs to see half-head ponytails and fanny packs.

Besides. There's enough mockery-inducing material in this little gem:


(Click for bigger version, duh.)

THAT, my friends, is a newspaper clipping from February 1997 about the re-release of the original Star Wars.

It is also a glimpse into the first date between Amy Corbett, 19, of Levittown, and Jason Storch, 20, of Newtown Borough.

Yes. Our first date made the newspaper, for we were that important. Also, we were stupid, because we didn't realize that you had to buy tickets for Star Wars waaaay ahead of time.  So we bought tickets for Jerry Maguire instead, and Jason casually assured a second date with my fabulous self by buying Star Wars tickets for a show the next day. Sneaky!

And there happened to be this random reporter hanging around the theater lobby, looking for Star Wars freaks to interview. And behold, the freaks, they were us.

For the record, the whole "Maybe I'll dress up like Han Solo" quote was a JOKE. A JOOOOOKE, as was my "Oh, would you please" response, but apparently, SARCASM DOES NOT TRANSLATE INTO THE AP STYLE.

And "self-admitted Star Wars maniacs?" The hell? I believe I copped to being a "big fan," but the word "maniac" was never used.

Anyway, after our Big Interview, we were walking to Jason's car to go get dinner or something before the movie, and the reporter shouted at us.


To which I cheerfully replied, "Oh no! We're just friends!"

And then we got in the car and I realized that Jason looked absolutely crushed.

Why did I not realize that we were on a date?  Because I'd known Jason since like, junior high. He didn't want to date me then, even though I had super-hot permed bangs, so why would he want to date me now?

Well, possibly because I no longer owned a bathing suit that looked like this:


(In case you are too busy and important to read the entire backstory, a quick recap: Jason and Josh were best friends. Nicole and I were best friends. I liked Jason, Jason liked Nicole, Josh liked me so I transferred my liking of Jason to Josh, Josh was sort of not quite entirely stable, I broke up with Josh, he went more unstable, I took him back only to get dumped a few weeks later for some girl who rode my bus.)

(And apparently, my dear friends Not A Clue and No Idea hung out with us sometimes.)

Lord. Church youth groups are such SOAP OPERAS. No wonder we were known for putting on super-melodramatic musicals together.


I believe this play was about some kid with cancer who was totally upbeat about it because he had Jesus in his heart, and he helped all of his friends come to terms with his death through song because Jesus is awesome and also, it's pretty easy to feel great about Jesus when YOU AREN'T THE ONE DYING OF CANCER.

Or it was a play about some kid with cancer who was totally bummed about it because he didn't have Jesus in his heart, but all his friends helped him come to terms with his death through song because Jesus is awesome and also, it's pretty easy to feel great about Jesus when YOU AREN'T THE ONE DYING OF CANCER.

And the guy in the suit is an angel who Teaches Everybody Lessons. Probably through song.

Regardless, I look spectacularly awesome in my over-sized tee, as does Jason in what appear to be sweatpants of some kind.

Anyway, flash forward back to 1997. A few weeks before the whole Is This A Date Or Not A Date Date, Jason and I bumped into each other at Barnes & Noble. It'd been YEARS since our last pool party or theatrical performance together, but we recognized each other instantly. (I was actually there with this guy.)

So Jason tracked down my email address and really just wanted to get back in touch with his old friends and only came over to my house that day to fix my computer and then it was taking longer than he thought so he suggested we go get some lunch and then the movie theater was RIGHT THERE so why don't we see if we can get Star Wars tickets? See? So not a date!

God, I was so stupid. But hey! We cleared things up right then and there that yes, this was a date, and it was actually going awfully darn well, so why don't we kiss or something because OH MY GOD, I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

And then I think everybody knows the rest of the story.




What stories you will have to tell Squishy! Toe-tally awesome stories.


I had that same swimsuit in green, instead of pink. I literally laughed out loud when I clicked for the larger version.

And for the record, I would totally have thought "not a date" as well.


Awww. And Jason was hot for you even way back in the day -- he's totally checking out your ass in that swimsuit photo.

Real Girl

Awww. Two Star Wars re-releases and 3 prequels later, the maniacs still rock on steadily. And when Star Wars VII, "Revenge of the Ewoks Whose Fur Was Stolen By the Sith" opens nationwide, you can bring little Mr. Squishy to Baby's First Star Wars!


Hee. Side ponytails... I was the side ponytail QUEEN!

And the newspaper article... I have no words.


*sniff* Pass the tissues, would'ja? That was great!


awww, you two are so adorable. :)


Yup. Twitterpated.


I love it! Bring on the junior high photo collages! Oh the joys of the 80s.


My husband and I totally had a non-date first date too. Although it took us a lot longer to get to the whole married thing.


That's a great story. You guys are too cute. I think the non-date/date thing is a good sign that you have a true friendship with someone. You're so comfortable together, you don't realize that it's a date until something suddenly clicks. At the beginning, I didn't realize my husband and I were really dating either...but that might have had something to do with the fact that I was engaged to someone else at the time. OOPS!! But no worries, it all worked out.


Love it love it love it! I think everyone should do a "the many loved of X" series. I laughed uproariously in my office several times. Thank GOODNESS Jason came to his senses.

Jermajesty O'Douls

That might be the cutest story ever.

and also, I don't know why you would EVER want to leave bucks county.

Fraulein N



I totally had that bathing suit too. And one in blue and one in hot pink, both with slashy black lines across the colored part. They all had the black butt & hips though. Classic.


Aw, I love it!


ditto whatever else has already said. great story.


Hee. Would you please. Yeah, I didn't get the sarcasm in the article and thus laughed my ass off at you. Oh, and speaking of asses, Martha's right. Jason's totally staring at yours. Good taste, that boy has. (I just combined Star Wars and html tags. I am going to geek hell.)


I love it too much!


Oh my gosh, what a lovely story, it's so romantic, WOW!


AWW! Cutest story EVER.

FWIW, husband and I (not married at the time) went to see Star Wars on opening night. I dare say we WERE maniacs.


LOL, this is like watching old home movies on Hi-8....or maybe Beta tapes.

But that a BUSTLE I see?!? That might be better than mall bangs.

PS - I'm feeling you on the heat. 37w3d, 107 degrees and calling for t-storms. These things do not make for a happy pregnant woman. Glowing skin perhaps, but homicidal nonetheless.


That adorable photo of you at the top fits your "not too sweet" slogan perfectly! Maybe it's time to replace the cherries with cute little miss attitude? Just a thought.

By the way, I'm Amaladdict. This is my first time posting. :)


okay, i laughed so hard at the star wars article, i almost peed!

and i really love your wedding pictures!!


Of course it's a bustle! It's a wedding dress, with a train, for which to step on and trip over during the reception unless you bustle it up with the little hook things. I stand by my bustle in all its classic Audrey Hepburn-ness. ("Something Audrey would wear" was my one and only wedding dress requirement.)

(That, and like, not millions of dollars, as we were flat damn broke.)

Oh, and Dillygirl? You read my mind.


"Something Audrey would wear" has always been my criteria in anything--you just can't go wrong in "something Audrey would wear."


p.s. I'm sure even Audrey had her "mall bangs and big t-shirts" phase at some point... :)

Humor Girl

AWWW!!!!!! :D

Humor Girl

And DAMN you AMALAH!!! For having my love story!!


That first picture kills me. KILLS ME.






Too. Damn. Cute.


What a great refreshing reading in these hot days!
I also sorted photos by genre into albums when I was a 'young' mother. Between two nursings and/or diaper changings I got lost among photo memories.
I also had side-ponytails and I disliked them so much, no wonder I was almost bald by my own will when I was living in the university hostel.


Lovely story! I think in the pool picture it looks like you're pretending to smile winsomely to the camera, when in fact you're refining your plot to tip Not A Clue straight off No Idea's shoulders into the water.
And also I am curious to know whether Jason has ever actually come through with the whole dressing up as Han Solo thing?


Hello Amalah. I have finally gone through all of your archives and now I can go back to work. I enjoy reading your entries everyday and I just want to tell you that you are great and I am extremely envious of your to-good-to-be-true husband and exorbitant, yuppie lifestyle.
I'm glad I found your weblog because you are a month ahead of me in gestation (I'm having a boy too) so I can compare my progress to yours.
Looking forward to more great entries :)


Oh. my. God. This level of cuteness is seriously fucking with my current my-life-is-over-so-why-bother mindset. Stop it immediately.


I've really enjoyed reading your insights to pregnancy, as my wife is due in early October. Your crass sense of humor is wildly entertaining! However, after seeing a picture of you with the Nittany Lion, I have concluded you went to Penn State, or, in the least, your cute little offspring has some Penn State in him. And, as a Pitt Panther, I can no longer visit this site. No loss to you, of course, but I do have my convictions. Best of Luck!



Best of luck to you too, Pete.

Jermajesty O'Douls

*as commanded, shits on pitt*


You guys are so freakin' adorable I can't stand it! :)

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