The Many Loves of Amalah, Part Fin
Venting Prevents Explos-ion

Wednesday Advice Smackdown




Dearest, Smartest, and Most-Worldliest Amalah,

I am going to be 26 soon, and have been married for a little over a year to my wonderful husband.  The marriage was sort of a surprise to both of us, having both been consummate singles with no real plan of finding "the one" ever in our lives, EVER, but we have found each other and are madly in love and etc etc etc. 

My question is about children, since I know nothing about them or the gestation process which comes with them.  I have plenty of years left with viable eggs and spanking-fresh ovaries, but my husband is 11 years older than me and we spend a lot of time talking about when we should have children.  I mean, I'm ready now in the sense that "yeah, a baby would be nice because I'm female and married and mostly ready to procreate," but I'd like to wait until we're more financially stable.  The husband had pretty much written off children because of his late-in-life bachelor stage, but he would like a baby as well, but has the opinion that we should wait another year or so, which makes sense because he's still getting used to the fact that he's married.

So, here's my conundrum: How long should we wait  before kids?  We're both ready now, but we keep putting it off until "we get a house."  Until "he gets out of the navy."  Until "we have more money in the savings account."  We keep seeming to put it off, which is fine with both of us, but I keep wondering if we should be waiting SO long because he is so much older than me and I don't want him to be 80 when our kids graduate the oh-so-expensive college that they'll probably want to go to.  We're both ready in a sense, but there are so many factors to factor in....  What do you think?


I think you should not care what I think. Or what anybody thinks. There are only two people who should be involved in this decision: you and your husband.

For starters, you should both really, really want a baby. You should feel ready to give up the life you have now and turn everything topsy-turvy and upside-down because you really want a baby that badly.

You should also realize that there will never be "the perfect time" when the stars align and your bank account is overflowing and you find the house of your dreams and look! The previous owners left us a crib and a fully-decorated nursery! It's a sign!

And you should remember that trying to get pregnant can sometimes take a lot longer than you think it will. This is Jason's advice to any of our friends who are debating the To Kid Or Not To Kid Question. He was understandably freaked when I went off the pill several years ago (mostly because of my dad's poor health and a complete freak-out on my part when I imagined having a child who might never know him). A year later, he was puzzled and a little frustrated. A year after that, he was all, "Okay, WHAT THE HELL."

(Five minutes after that, I was pregnant.)

But more than anything, don't let people like me scare you with stories like that. Don't let your family be all up in your "So when are you going to have a baaaayyy-beee" grill. Don't let your friends sway you with the "It's the greatest thing we've ever done! Join us! JOOOOIN US!" crap. Don't do anything just because you feel like it's what you "should" do.

Have a baby because you want to, when you want to. Enjoy your time alone with your husband, and make sure you're really ready to say goodbye to that for another 18 to 20 years. Go on some vacations.

And then one day, when you look at someone else's tiny baby, you may feel your chest go tight and your arms will ache and you'll be overwhelmed with the urge to smell that baby's head. Then you'll know. It's time.

Dear Amalah,

I'd bet dollars to donuts you have covered this before but, unfortunately, beauty and its related paraphernalia are not my strong suit (which is why you won't be seeing pictures of me on my blog). People get to talking about Bed Head this and emulsifying that and my eyes glaze over.

Anywho, I am about to go get an awesome haircut next month when I go to California (yes, I have to travel 1500+ miles to get a decent haircut. I live in Hell, also known as Oklahoma). What I'm in the market for is a good styling product. I currently have some Paul Mitchell garbage-in-a-can and some sorry, half-assed excuse for hairspray (also Paul Mitchell) that manages to, at the same time, both NOT hold my hair in the slightest AND glue the top layer together in a crunchy mass. My hairstyle is going to be short and I have to blow it dry to get it to lie flat. (It's board-straight except it flips up at the ends.) It's very thick and fairly fine. Also I have Issues with excess oil production so I don't want anything that's going to make me look like a big fucking slimeball who never showers five minutes after I've put it on.

Something readily available in the stores would be good, though if the best solution involves a purchase at a salon I'm cool with it. Thank you!

Mary B.

Well, in my experience, no matter what your Styling Issue is, Paul Mitchell is NEVER the right answer. Loathe, hate, seethe.

(Apologies to anyone who loves Paul Mitchell products and...oh, fuck it. No apologies. Get your own advice column and keep your defensive huffiness out of my comments section. Is too hot for this shit.)

From your question, however, I'm not quite getting what your actual Styling Issue is. Frizz? Volume? Cowlicks? A refusal to blow-dry straight?

Believe it or not, I do not advocate the use of styling products JUST FOR THE SAKE OF USING STYLING PRODUCTS. Especially on fine, oily hair. If your hair is doing what you like it to do without any products, then great! Don't use any.

I own a lot of styling products just because I like to wear my hair in a lot of different ways, not because I actually goop on 17 different products every morning. Some days, I don't use anything other than some leave-in conditioner on my somewhat-frizzy ends. Other days, I go all out with the root lift spray and straightening gel and spray shine and texture paste.

So Mary, if you're reading today, leave a comment and let us know exactly What Your Hair Does That You Wish It Didn't, or What You Wish Your Hair Would Do That It Doesn't (besides the oil production issue, which I covered in last week's Smackdown), and we shall pool the collective Hair Talents of all readers and offer some specific suggestions.

Beyond, you know, that Paul Mitchell products are crap in a can.

Dearest Amalah,

Not so very long ago you shared your sacred advice on how to get knocked up with me. And like any loyal Amalah reader, I followed it. And VOILA! Here I am, 16 weeks pregnant.

Now, not that I'm not grateful for the previous advice, but I forgot to ask you something: Once you get pregnant, HOW DO YOU STOP THE PUCKING????? I mean, I'm in my second trimester already!! Don't you think this should have STOPPED by now? How did you finally get it to go away, oh wisest of expectant mothers?


(Since this question was sent to me, oh, four hundred weeks ago, I sincerely hope that Bellabelly is no longer puking and that my answering this question now will only help other pregnant women currently caught in the Evil Grasp of the Puking, and that Bellabelly can leave a comment along the lines of AM FINE NOW, BITCH, THANKS FOR NOTHING.)

(Although, if the puking hasn't stopped, she has my deepest sympathies, but also my command to NOT EVER TELL ANOTHER NEWLY PREGNANT WOMAN ABOUT HER NEVER-ENDING PUKING. People LOVED to tell me about some woman they knew who had morning sickness for the full nine months or until she stopped breast-feeding or some other horror story, and they are SO LUCKY I felt too sick to murder them, because SHUT UP. NOT HELPING.)

I tried EVERYTHING to stop the puking. (Well, everything short of the prescription drugs like Zofran, which I was not NEARLY sick enough for, although that didn't stop dozens of people from telling me that my doctor was an idiot and an asshole for not putting me on it, because apparently, some doctors are prescribing the stuff to anyone who wants it. And not to get all Tom Cruise on you, but that's just wrong and insane. Zofran is serious stuff for SEVERE morning sickness, not for someone who is tired of throwing up once or twice a day. I could keep my prenatal vitamin down and never got dehydrated, so I didn't need it, so please stop questioning my medical decisions.)

(Beware the tangential soapbox!)

Anyway, I tried every folksy remedy people threw at me. Sucking on lemon candies made me gag, and after finally tracking down a ginger ale that had actual ginger it in (because everyone told me it would be SO much better than the sugar-water stuff at the grocery store), I couldn't even take a sip without puking it right back up.

What did help? Well, water, saltines and Canada Dry. Eating whatever sounded relatively good to me at the time, regardless of nutritional value. If I got worked up about not eating enough healthy stuff and then tried to eat the healthy stuff, I learned that I would just throw up the healthy stuff so why bother? Eat the goddamn chicken nuggets and be done with it.

I took my prenatal vitamin at night, with some crackers, and never threw it up once. I tried adding a vitamin B6 supplement too, but didn't feel a difference.

My mother-in-law gave me the best advice: a heating pad (set on low) right on the belly, as if you had really bad menstrual cramps.

I didn't really see what good this would do, but OH MY GOD, THE RELIEF. It totally stopped the dry heaving (which on some days was even worth than the actual puking -- I just walked around gagging on like, oxygen, and feeling like I would projectile vomit at any moment).

I still wasn't able to really EAT until week 16 (although I noticed a marked improvement right at week 13). And I still can't really handle chicken in anything other than a processed nugget form. Oh! And let's not forget all the heartburn, ingestion and constipation that starts in earnest during the second trimester!

Pregnancy: One Big Joyride Down the Gastrointestinal Tract.

Dear Amalah, Oh Sassy Goddess of Life,

I have a question. And I'm not quite sure if you can answer. But you seem to know everything about everything and so here goes.... I'm now a stay-at-home mom. In my "previous life" I paid the bills by writing. (At one point I was a reporter. When I needed more money to get OUT of my parents' house, I worked at an engineering/architectural firm writing (corporate) magazine articles, newsletters, press releases and white papers.) 

My dream has always been to write for magazines. There's FINALLY a very cool local fitness/health/fashion mag in St. Louis and I'm DYING to write for them. They do look for freelance writers, but I'm guessing the competition is tough. Its the ONLY local mag worth writing for.

How in the HELL do I get their attention? (I've already written the editor an e-mail about how I LOVE their mag and offered my services). I found out the next issue would cover plastic surgery. I told them I've had a procedure done and journaled the experience. SO are they interested? I haven't heard anything from them yet. Was this completely lame? How do I get my foot in the door? I would give them the story for FREE just to have the experience.

Also, the women who started the mag are very hip chickies that look like they are MAYBE in their late 20's. I'm a stay-at-home suburban mom in my 30's -- so very white bread. So very mom-ish. Definitely NOT sassy and sophisticated like you are. (At least not anymore.) And ok. I really don't know what my question is here but....

How do I get my foot in the door? I really don't have any real contacts in the magazine arena. And besides its been forever since I've been PAID to write -- for this mag or any national one for that matter. If by some act of God, my work is accepted what do I charge? How do I determine what I charge. Can they read the "momishness" in my work? Will that help or hinder me? Eeek!

Dying to feel like a person instead of a care-giving robot who spends too much time playing with Matchbox cars and reading "Walter the Farting Dog".

GOD. I DON'T KNOW. Does anybody know? Because DUDE, I just this minute found out that I? Really, really need some extra money all of a sudden.

I talked to my HR department about maternity leave MONTHS ago, and I was directed to our company intranet and the information about short-term disability and blah blah blah. "Short-term disability payments continue for a maximum of 12 weeks," the friendly intranet told me. Perfect!

And HR said not to worry about filling out all the actual paperwork until closer to my due date, so la la la, I lived in happy 12-weeks-of-short-term-disability land until today, when I actually went to get the paperwork so my doctor could fill out his part at my check-up this afternoon.

And the friendly intranet left off a CRUCIAL BIT OF INFORMATION, which is that while yes, short-term disability will continue for a maximum of 12 weeks, when you're talking pregnancy, they'll only pay for six weeks after delivery.

SIX. WEEKS. After that, you're unpaid. Unless you have lots of vacation time, which I? Do not. And I? Am a colossal idiot. I KNOW, OKAY? PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME FOR MAKING STUPID ASSUMPTIONS OR WAITING SO LONG TO FINALIZE EVERYTHING. BAD STUPID AMALAH, YES, WE GET IT.

Jesus Christ. We still need a fucking CRIB, and like, STUFF, because all I have are some onesies and a bib and two receiving blankets, and we've already put down deposits on all the home renovations and we did stupid things like buy a new car and a camera and I bought that new purse and who knows if daycare will come through right at 12 weeks and JASON is freaking out about six weeks of unpaid leave and if JASON is freaking out than we MUST be royally and totally SCREEEEWED.

(pant, pant)

So hello! Magazines! Newspapers! Would you like a freelancer? Perhaps a funny story about blogging culture? Fake advice columnist? Anything? I need money.

Normally, this is where I put the link and invite your questions, but since today's column has imploded so spectacularly  into chaos and panic, I'm just going to sit here and hyperventilate for a little bit.


Franci from Europe

Amy, I was touched by the first advice. I can so agree with that. (I did not even have the time to read the other advices.)
The want to smell the baby's head - it describes so well. Yes. And because this is what I keep doing to my kids as well. Especially to my younger one.


HR departments need to bite me. Because they LIE.

Also, here's a follow-up question that I don't think is long enough for an actual advice column question but that might be if you include this wretched lead-in sentence.
When one has morning sickness, as I may in the future months depending on various stuff, how does one puke? I mean, did you carry around a barf bag? Did you run from important meetings to find a bathroom? Did you barf on the floor at any point?
It's this stuff that has me worried. Not the bringing-a-life-into-the-world stuff. Therefore, a follow-up question to the follow-up question -- are my priorities skewed?


but seriously, I only stopped puking about a week and a half a go (so don't feel bad), and now have gained 8 pounds.
Expect a question on "How not to become a gigantic cow now that you finally feel like eating everything" pregnancy question in your que soon.

ps.. they have those "I puked until my child started kindergarten" moms in D.C. too?


That description of when to know you are ready for the baby business is SO. ACCURATE.

I was previously baby-phobic. If I saw a baby, I would run screaming in the other direction and then suddenly? Not scared. Suddenly? Must touch and squeeze and love on the wee fingers and toes. Suddenly? Infertile.


Oh and I just realized that in my question I spelled "puking" as "PUCKING". I must have been really pucking sick when I wrote that.


OK- everyone calm down.

To SAHM who is tired of reading Walter the Fartnig Dog: The best thing to do is to actually write some pieces. Submit them to the mag you like, and see what they say.

They will be much more likely to accept articles from someone who is a known entity than to take a chance on someone who is a total unknown. Once they have an idea of your writing style they would be much better able to judge if you are a good fit for their publication. Before writing the article, pay close attention to articles they have already they prefer 3rd person narrative, first person experiential, quips and personal bon mots or multiple short quotes from outside sources? Once you have established what type of style they go for, try to include that in your writing. Good luck! I hope that they take you up your writing and that it brings you what you want.

To Mamalah who has 6 weeks of STD (hate that accronym!):

Breathe in, breathe out. You will get much of what you need at your baby shower(s)...and honestly much of what a newborn needs is food and sleep. It doesn't matter if you don't have a crib right now...honestly my mom kept me in a dresser drawer by the side of her bed for my first two months- no worse for the wear (at least I think no worse!)

Also, once the babalah comes, you will not be going out to eat or shopping for purses and such for at least the first month or two, so your monthly expenses will be less. Your primary concerns will be feeding, changing and holding the bundle of joyousness, and sleeping anytime you are not doing one of those things.

You will come through this just fine, I promise.

Pi.nk Stil.etto

Dare I ask about your hate for Paul Mitchell products?

Also? Am back. New blog. Couldn't stay away. Fiance gone.


The baby head smell! They should have car air fresheners for wanna-be moms... I can't find enough babies around to get my fix...

Hello. My name is Kathleen. May I smell your baby's head?

Pi.nk Sti.l.etto

Also... at the bottom of the screen, below the comments box, it says:

LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK: If you leave a fake email address, I will

And then it stops. Is it supposed to, or is my browser f*cked?


it says:
"delete your comment.

A valid URL will hide your email from everyone except me, and typing will protect you from spam. So no excuses, you little anonymous assholes."


P*nk Stil-ett0! Welcome back. And yeah, it sounds like your browser is fucked. Or maybe pucked.

But don't worry -- you're just missing me attempting to beat anonymous trolls off with a big threatenting stick.

Jen-Again. Am trying to breathe. Was really doing okay until I told Jason the revised STD plan and he FREEEAKED OUT. He never freeeaks, so it scared me and turns out that the freeeak-out is contagious and now I'm all WILL BLOG FOR FOOD. OR DIAPERS.


I suppose this is a bad time to tell you this, but the area where I live, in England? It be positively COLD. People are actually wearing jackets, some even with those awful faux-fur trims, because what you would expect for mid-July weather has been replaced with a cold breeze and clouds.

As for the money issue, I totally think you should start selling some swag - may I suggest pure mineral water, blessed by the Queen Of Everything? Like Kabbalah water, but makes you more Snarky-like. Or... make a pact with the devil and succumb to Google Ads?


Pink - the rest of it says or you will be deleted and it comes through on mine.

Jermajesty O'Douls

I vote that amalah sell t shirts, or perhaps socks, covered in self endorsements.

Real Girl

Ooh! I know a bit about magazine writing. Right before my novel sold and I *really* needed cash, I got in touch with all my magazine editor friends and said: Employ me freelancily! The answer I got was this: Pitch. Pitch. Pitch. Think of the article that magazine NEEDS TO HAVE and let them know about it. Freelance journalists are almost more valuable for their pitch ideas than for their writing (doing an editor's job for them! Without healthcare benefits! Wheee!!)

It seems you pitched the plastic surgery idea--which is great! But is this a magazine that features personal accounts/essays readily? If not, could you rethink the pitch to involve a broader focus?

Keep at it. Keep pitching new ideas and sending your resume. Keep sending published clips with your pitches. Keep at it and they'll have to publish you eventually because ALRIGHT ALREADY!


Amalah... how bouts you start an amazon wishlist for the babalah and maybe us internet folks might be able to hooks you up... ehhhh?

Real Girl

(Oh, and also? Most magazines print REALLY early, like sometimes up to 8 months--though I think 6 is more reasonable. So if they're featuring plastic surgery in the "next issue," that issue was probably put to bed ages and eons ago...)


errrr. I see you already have one. Now that I actually LOOKED.

Just Kelly

I felt inspired to write and tell you again... BREATHE (sick of hearing that, yet?). All you need for a newborn is diapers (you'll possibly get those at your shower that'll last months - if not, drop hints), food (that'd be you, but formula companies loooove giving out samples and coupons so sign up now cause they're slow about it), possibly a pump (check the manual pump websites cause I got mine for free - ask them all to send you "information"), bassinette (first 6 months or more and you don't need to get one with the fancy stuff cause the baby can't see that well anyways and vibrating/rocking your baby to sleep means vibrating/rocking your baby to sleep forEVER), few blankets, spit-up cloths (cheap diaper cloths work wonders), and oh-so-cute clothes. You won't need a crib for a while, the baby won't care if the nursery isn't decorated yet, and they don't need all the fancy toys til after 6mos old. I'm sure you already know all this. I'm feeling maternal and my own bundle is napping, so you is it! ;)

Also, have you thought about having an online baby registry/account for donations? Just asking... you've got a lot of readers. :P


Alright, I can totally see why you are panicked; I believe we all would be in your situation. *However*, you are a big fancy editor who surely has some big, fancy contacts, right? You already have had lovely, semi-fruitful conversations with literary agent types, right? You are going to find some freelance work, I am sure. Why don't you drop an e-mail to those fancy bloggers who've already freelance articles--like Tertia (So Close) and Heather Armstrong. They might have ideas and/or contacts for you.

Good luck with everything. I know you will pull this off.


Why you should not longer hate me for never once puking during this pregnancy:

At my company? It's called a "12 Week UNPAID Leave" in which they continue to pay their share of my insurance, and will hold my job for 90 days. That's it. I will have FOUR vacation days in my pocket by then.



well guess what!!! I'm QUITTING work in October until the baby starts preschool! (we have no maternity leave or anything, as presently work for my families 3 companies) And what did my hubby just do? He just bought a new Jeep, thats what! Oh and we also bought a house, and are moving to the other side of the country when the baby is 5 months old and will have to RENT a place. Sure, he just got a pretty big raise, but sheesh, I am getting nervous. I think I may have to breastfeed the baby AND my hubby for the next three years.


well guess what!!! I'm QUITTING work in October until the baby starts preschool! (we have no maternity leave or anything, as presently work for my families 3 companies) And what did my hubby just do? He just bought a new Jeep, thats what! Oh and we also bought a house, and are moving to the other side of the country when the baby is 5 months old and will have to RENT a place. Sure, he just got a pretty big raise, but sheesh, I am getting nervous. I think I may have to breastfeed the baby AND my hubby for the next three years.

oh and I promise not to comment again until tomorrow. stalker out.


My company has unpaid leave too. Fortunately, I have a job that I can do from home during that time. Not the ideal situation, but it will help.

Do you have any stuff to sell on e-bay? Perhaps you can make money that way. Good luck.


please check and make sure the STD (?) is at 100% pay. Mine (this this company/pregnancy and my first pregnancy/company) was only covered at 60% the first time and 75% this time. Yikes! I hope you get 100% though, but please check so you don't get another scare when you get the check.


Move to Canada. You get 1 year paid leave here.


Amy-you could have a little online store and design wonderful Amalah and Babalah things. Check out

It's very fantastic. And you would be making MONEY! By doing NOT MUCH! It's the DREAM! Because you know that all of us who love and adore your whole little family would probably buy stuff. Just a thought!


My company has zero paid maternity leave. My STD pays 60% of my wages (pre-tax) AFTER the 1st 3 weeks of maternity leave and up to however long my doctor says I need to recoup from my "disability."


My company's STD (hee, am child) pays 60% of my salary, but it's pre-tax, and since we live in such a crazy tax area and my piddly salary gets taxed at Jason's non-piddly IT salary bracket (damn marriage penalty!), the 60% will essentially be what I take home now. So that? Not a big deal.

And since I STILL have it better than all of y'all who ONLY get unpaid leave with NO short-term disability, I think I will shut the hell up about my COMING FINANCIAL CRISIS now.

Although Google Ads? Yeah, I'm not above selling out. This site is a BANDWIDTH EATING BEAST.


So, yeah, am here again because I don't have much else to do. So, you could have Google Ads and then sell Cafepress t-shirts saying "I read Amalah when she was underground bitches". No...?


Would TOTALLY buy one of those Amalah tee's even though I am a Jenny-come-lately compared to the rest of you.....


Amalah, Eariler today I was literally singing my woe-is-me routine b/c of my own baby conundrums. I can't thank you enough for the heartfelt advice you wrote having a baby; your words speak volumes for many.

I found your blog yesterday, not sure how... but because you made me shed a tear and laugh my head off, all in the same sentence, I'll be sure to stick around.


OK I have the perfect solution. Seems like your workplace is semi-cool. I mean people there read your blog so they must be somewhat nice/fun/cool.

Maybe you could ask about working from home for an additional six weeks? I work from home (editing/web producing) and I get craploads done. As you can tell, v v productive as I sit here reading blogs all day. (Where was I?) Oh yes.

Since you edit, you can edit from home. You don't need to be in the office for that. If you have to do layout and absolutely cannot do it from home, maybe you go in one day per week to do it at night and Jason can watch Babalah?

My company gives me 6 weeks at 100% (am lucky) but my selfish, greedy self wants more. We can take up to six more weeks unpaid. Husband not happy. My own mother says I do not need three months since I work at home. Boo. Stop mommy. Be on my side! So it appears I may just take the six and shut my piehole.


You will get so much stuff at your baby shower you won't know what to do with it all. My future sister-in-law still has outfits that Anna has yet to wear. Or will never wear, because sizes for baby clothes are WEIRD.

To make more money: have you considered naming your child something along the lines of Best Buy or AT&T?

Lisa V

Okay about the puking. I haven't stopped, and my kid is in junior high. And I adopted.

The financial scary shit. My husband was working on straight commission (how do you spell that?) when our second and third children were born. Both times it was lowest paycheck ever. Like $300. But it always worked out. My grandmother said "Every baby brings a jug of wine and a loaf of bread." Mine sometimes only brought a twinkie and a wine cooler. It will work out.


Amy, submit freelance articles for the Sunday Source. They'll publish anything!


Per the short term disability -- if a company pays 12 weeks for any disability, then they have to give you the same amount for pregnancy. This is a law in my state and I think it goes for all states. Also, if you can get your doctor to write you up for 10 weeks of rest, your company should give you that amount. If I were you, I really read the fine print on this one. I was freaking out about the same thing and then found out my company was required to give me the time the dr. said I needed. Some doctors are "supposed" to only sign vaginal delivery patients out for only 6 weeks (8 weeks for c-section), but I had a rocking ND who helped me out, and shit, I need the 12 fucking weeks to recover.
Good luck!


Amalah, cute redesign! Is it permanent?

Also, the baby situation will work out fine.. Things probably are not as bad as Jason (inadvertantly, probably) made them seem--he was probably just feeling the shock of being a father and feeling responsible for providing for you and the Babalah, even if it's just for a short time. It seems like everyone has tight times when a new baby comes--don't they always say that the quickest way to get pregnant is to lose your job? (or is it to get drunk on Boone's Farm in the back of an El Camino with a football player? hmm..must look into this)

Well, point being, you'll have no problem selling articles or working from home, or doing whatever it is you want to do--you're Amalah, Queen of Everything, and you've still got boatloads of time to get things figured out.


Amalah, I hear you on the $$ but that baby just needs your boobs, your arms and your attention for the first 6-12 weeks. Diapers or seran wrap to catch the feces is ideal, but seriously, that doesn't cost much. we as parents always want to give our kids the best of everything, not realizing that the best possible thing you can give your child is your time. Never fear, God will chime in and take care of you guys!


waaaaah. i miss the comfort of your old design - although i'm a huge fan of the pic. maybe throw some cherries in as well, and add back the loving, reading, hating, snarking directory?


Yeah, put ads on your site! Why not? It's really easy to do. I had ads on my site and made enough to cover my costs plus some. With all the traffic you get, the money will add up.


LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new design! It's super cute! All other things aside...great advice in the first section. I don't know what it is about babies...but they smell so good. I myself have other issues that prevent me from having a child but...I have been granted a nephew recently and I can't get enough of him. Just a different kind of's amazing!


Love the new look!


LOVE the new design! Hee!

Lisa B

Love the new design. I LOVE that photo of you as a junior Miss Sassypants! And people, keep giving MORE freelance advice. I'm all ears. Especially since the periodicals I was last published in were engineering trade mags and small town newspapers 8-12 years ago! (I need all of the help I can get!) My "contacts" in media are editors of small town mags. Ughh.

And I hope it didn't sound like I'm totally ungrateful for being a stay-at-home mom. I do love it and I think it has been the best choice for our family but still it would be nice to have a little piece of my life that doesn't revolve around Chucky Cheese, Tonka trucks and Clifford, ya know?

Anywhoo... I'm totally for creating Amalah t's. Would so buy one and proudly wear. And the other ladies are right. Babies don't care what sort of clothes they wear or the type of crib they have. And those expensive toys? Kids will have more fun playing with the bag or box it came in. But you will make a HAUL on the baby shower. Better than Christmas! And when people visit the baby, they bring presents too! Yipee.


If you've got oily hair, look for a shampoo with a lot of fruit oils and juices; lemon, grapefruit, lime, kiwifruit. Citruses are good. Ditto juniper oil. They'll help tone and control oil production without stripping your hair and scalp dry. I Love Juicy from Lush is v. good, ditto Jumping Juniper.


I wonder a bit how american women does it! you only get 6 weeks of maternety leave!!!! In Norway working moms can choose between 43 weeks with full pay, or 53 weeks with 80% pay. Funny how countrys even in the western world can be so different. and also we have free medicare for everybody. Wishing you the best of luck on motherhood.


The site looks great. But you forgot to subtitle it, "queen of tv". Just sayin'.
Also, a very graceful sell-out overall!


Love the site redesign! It's so cute!

Queenie - I know exactly how you feel, I'm 23 and my hubby will be 34 this year. We're thinking of starting to try next year, as we know there will never be a "perfect" time to have a baby, plus J already has osteoperosis in his back and knees (no one can figure out why) and I want him to be able to keep up with our kid.
We have been married for almost 2 years, already have a house (1290 sq ft, but it's big enough for a baby and we like the location), J is an Executive chef at a hotel so he has a busy schedule, and we're not rich by any means. But other than that we're ready. The only reason we're waiting till next year to start is b/c my SIL is trying to get pg now. She's 35 and they need some outside help since they've been trying for quite a few years. I want her to have a baby first since she's been wanting it longer, and I don't want to swoop in and steal all the attention. ;)

Good luck in whatever you decide!


LOVE the redesign! And I say good call on the ads, and handling it in a way that says, "I am totally above this all, but you bitches don't pay for my site and you are EATING UP MY BANDWIDTH". Overall, well done :)


Amalah, please check all your fine print re: your leave so you don't get blindsided (again.) I found out 7 weeks into my maternity leave (planned for 8 weeks) that my STD carrier only pays for 6 weeks for an uncomplicated c-section. Verify the standard terms as well as when they will pay you (that was shock #2- their policy was to pay in a lump sum at the end of the 6 weeks.) My OB even put the 8-week mark as my date I was allowed to return to work when she filled out the paperwork, but since the surgery did not have complications, I was held to the six-week guideline.

The work from home idea is a good one, though.


Love the redesign. I'll click your google ads all the that how it works? Is that how you make money? By me clicking? Or do I actually have to BUY something?


Yeah, I'm wondering that, too... should we all go "click click click" everytime we visit and read the amalah-goodness?

Will do if it helps fill the queen's coffers!


Ooh! Pinkness!

Is snazzy. And also? Matches the wall in the photo because the mama might be having a baby, but by GOD she knows how to color coordinate!


loving the new design. fun headline font too (i have no clue about internet/journal lingo so sue me).

i have NOTHING else to say. i am not witty. blah.


Clicking on ads = money for me. I've earned THREE WHOLE DOLLARS already just from my own clicking. Am rich! Will never work again.


After reading your last post, I clicked on all of your ads as well. Even though I don't need ring tones, and a "life without limits" may result in wantonness that would rock the Delmarva peninsula. But I hope it helps with diaper costs (cloth or not).

On the morning sickness note: I know it is different for every woman, but boy did I grow to love buttered farfalle. To the point that now, it makes my throat close when I think about eating it. Strange though: NOT penne, NOT papardelle (ordinarily my favorite pasta), NOT fettucine...FARFALLE.

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