In the Pink
July 14, 2005
Yesterday I received a lovely, actual-handwritten-on-paper note from Minarae, thanking me for an embarrassingly paltry donation I made to her Breast Cancer 3-Day fund. She also enclosed a pink wristband.
Now, for the record, I'm fairly tired of the whole wristband thing. Sure, it was awesome when the LIVESTRONG bracelets first came out, because who doesn't love Lance Armstrong? (America-haters, that's who.) And they're a great idea, really, for people who truly and passionately support a certain cause. But the whole craze took a fairly distasteful turn when the yellow bands became some sort of must-have fashion accessory and everybody was wearing them, even if they'd only given the actual charity a dollar just to get the band, or got one from someone giving them away for free at the office.
And now it's officially gotten out of hand, what with collector's sites selling 400 frillion different bands along with retired Beanie Babies and all these half-wits running around wearing three or four different bracelets that COORDINATE WITH THEIR OUTFITS, and oh my God, those rainbow ones are soooo cute. Who do you have to support to get that one?
Please don't think I'm bashing everybody who wears a wristband. Just, you know, the assholes.
Because I'm sure as hell going to wear this pink one.
Because my mom's been diagnosed with breast cancer.
When my mom called to tell me about the lump, it barely registered. Between my mom, my sister and I, the doctors have found dozens and dozens of lumps. We all have the fibrocystic breast disease. Which is not so much of a "disease" as is it is a "huge pain in the boobs," because our breasts ALWAYS have cysts and lumps and suspicious activity going on, but in the end, the lumps are ALWAYS benign. ALWAYS, I tell you. I'm only 27 and have already had four breast ultrasounds, one mammogram and three aspirations of suspicious-yet-benign cysts. Lumps are just not a Big Scary Thing around here.
And unlike my poor dad, whose entire life in one experiment in medical terror after another, my mom's always been the healthy one.
So when she called to say her doctor was ordering a biopsy on yet another lump, we kind of mutual-eye-rolled and sighed because DUH, it's just another cyst that's absorbed some blood so it looks abnormal but everything will be fine in the end and when are you coming down to help me paint the baby's room?
She won't be coming down to paint the baby's room. Instead she'll be having her second surgery in a month to remove more breast tissue because they aren't satisfied with the margins they got the first time around.
And then she'll be starting radiation.
And then she'll be starting a five-year drug regimen to fight the other strain of breast cancer she has, because oh yeah, she's got two different kinds blah blah blah lots of letters and abbreviations and one strain is apparently scary and aggressive and does this mean you won't be able to come down and help me take care of the baby after Jason goes back to work? Because I don't know what I'm doing and want my mommy?
Her prognosis is good. Her oncologist is confident they caught it early enough. Huge props and shout-outs to routine mammograms.
But still. I'm wearing the damn wristband. And writing a bigger check next time.
Because that one-in-eight statistic is suddenly talking about my mother. And my baby's Nana. And we both need her around for a good, long time.



I'm not always so much with the praying, but I'll definitely be doing some for your mom. And the squishy too, just for good measure.
De-lurking to say I'm sorry to hear about your mom, and I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. She will be in our thoughts and please do keep us updated as to how she is doing. They are doing such wonderful things now, the prognosis for breast cancer can be fantastic. Especially since they caught it so early.
Hugs to you and the entire family. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Whoa, nothing like being blindsided. At least it was caught early.
I'm thinking about you and squishy and squishy's Nana.
I don't pray, but I'll send the good vibes your way.
All my very best wishes for health for your mom and strength for your family. I'm one of those wrist-band wearers who is a bit disgusted with the whole thing too. Mine is green and says "Reach the Day", meaning that someday we will reach the day when every child diagnosed with cancer can be guaranteed a cure. It makes me ill when I go into my local drugstore and see a giant bin full of bracelets - with really uplifting messages like 'peace' and 'love'. Except that no worthy charity (like CureSearch.org) is reaping the benefits of those sales.
I'm glad your mom's prognosis is good. She'll be in my prayers. My baby boy, at 2.5 years old now, is already a 2 year survivor. Go Nana!!
Sorry to hear that. Good juju coming you and momma's way, stat!
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. But very glad to hear about the early detection.
Prayers for you and your family.
Sending prayers to your mom and your family.
I'm 36 and was just diagnosed with breast cancer (Invasive ductal carcinoma) ... I'm doing 8 rounds of chemo (just had my first one yesterday) to be followed by 30-35 rounds of radiation.
It's good that she's eligible for Tomoxifin..the prognosis for that "kind" of cancer is much more promising than they type that I have.
Holding your mom gently in healing prayer.
Jules
I'm sorry to hear about that damn cancer. I'm sure that everything will be fine and Nana will be around for a good long time but it sure is a punch in the gut to hear that word.
Damn Fates. Couldn't leave the good ones alone and just gone for the evil people! BAH!
Sending prayers up for your mommy.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I'm glad they caught it in time to treat it.
Another lurker coming out to send wishes to your mom for a speedy recovery. Glad to hear that it was detected early.
Waaaaaaaah!!
Amalah's mommy, we love you! You made a perfectly beautiful Amalah that we LOVE so how cool must you be? VERY. COOL. We send you love and prayers and whispered hopes and lots and lots of love and chocolate dreams.
I once found a lump in my neck. And I had NO MEDICAL. And it was scary. It was nothing. Then I found another, also nothing. I can't imagine the stress of a cancer diagnosis, but I send my heartfelt love to all the fam. Be blessed and well.
'snif.
Delurking to offer a special prayer for you and your Mom. That said, I agree about the whole writband getting out of hand thing. However, if you check out my blog, my daughter suffers from Epilepsy, and in lieu of a "rubber wristband", a jewelery artist created a very special Epilepsy Awareness Bracelet for my daughter (she also has a very cute breast cancer bracelet as well), that I wear everyday to remind me that I am strong, and will survive this. I hope your pink bracelet does the same for you!
Best wishes!
My little family will have all of you in our prayers. (You too Jules!!) There's power in all the voices and thoughts united in prayer and in good vibes. Believe it. I'm convinced it is what made all the difference with our little miracle man--who defied all negative doctor predictions and is doing fantastic. Hang in there. And thanks for reminding me it's time for another check for Susan G. Komen.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, Amy. Things like that make you remember not to take anything in life for granted.
Hugs to you and your mom. I have had to deal with my grandmother having melanoma and hubbys mom having breast cancer too. The pink ribons, bracelets and everything else has gotten LOTS of our money. The thing that I have noticed is that one in eight seems to be a little off. I dont know one person that doesnt have a family memeber that hasnt had a brush with breast cancer.
My God, Amy. I am so sorry to hear that! And now I have one more person to add to the list of reasons why I will keep doing this walk every year until my feet fall off. My mom and I share the fibrocystic breast joy but have been blessed to have all of our scares just be that...scares. Tell your mom there's at least one person walking in her honor this October....I'm so glad to hear that they at least caught it early enough for her doctors to be optimistic.
Thoughts and prayers to your Mom and you.
Next time I see one of the pink bracelets, I'll grab it and throw it on, ignoring my aversion to the whole bracelet thing, and think of you.
Good Luck.
I usually lurk too, but this entry broke me of that habit. I am so sorry to hear about your mom, but thankful for the early detection. I work on a children's oncology unit, and every day I am amazed at the strength and determination that these families possess. Your family seems just as strong! Your mom is blessed to have such loving and caring people in her life. Praying for a swift recovery for your mom!
Damn, I'm really sorry, and all I can offer is the best of wishes for your mom and the whole Amalah clan. You seem like a strong bunch, so I'm sure you'll get through this just fine :)
Oh, Amy, I'm sorry. You seem strong but I know this must be very hard. You and your whole family are in my prayers.
Amy, I can't really know what you, your Mum and your sister have gone through already with all these scares, and I certainly can't claim first-hand experience with a family member. The only woman in my family ever to get breast cancer is my aunt, and thank God she is surviving it, and has since seen her first two grandchildren. I am thinking about your Mum, and about you, and about your whole family, and I hope she get's better real soon, and is there with you and Squishy for many more decades.
*hugs* You and your family are in my thoughts.
Amalah,
Many prayers and positive vibes for your mom. Fortunately, we live in a time when early detection does mean early cure. My mom is a 10+ year survivor of breast cancer. She has 3 other sisters who've had breast cancer, two who've beaten it so far.
Please take care. I am sure your Mamalah would much rather be with baby Squishy than where she needs to be... (HUGS)
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. You and your family are in my thoughts, though. And I agree about the wristband thing! I wore mine before it got "popular" and actually took it off when it became "cool" because I'm like that. Although my pastor had a purple one that said "Jesus is my homey" which totally cracked me up. (I'm not good with all the serious stuff, but do know I'm pulling for you guys!)
I can't add anything that hasn't been said already. Just wanted to let you know another reader is sorry that your family has to go through this.
I'm so sorry.
Thinking of all of you.
Have to add my best wishes and prayers...
Sending my best wishes and prayers along for your mom and you.
I'm really sorry, and will keep you, your Mom and the rest of your family in my thoughts. My Mom had melanoma about six years ago and it was the scariest thing ever (even though people think skin cancer isn't serious, it can be and it was for my Mom).
Hoping for the best...
Lurker here, praying for your mom. My grandmother had breast cancer and my mom had cancer of the soft tissue twice - when I was 11 and 13. She lost her hair, had radiation, had chemo. That was how we spent our summer vacation two years. It was the scariest thing, but she's now been in remission for 18 years.
My dad told us when Ma got cancer that nobody can fully gel as a human until they've had at least two SEEs (Significant Emotional Experiences). You can't truly empathize unless you've been through it. It was his way of trying to make us view life's trials as the initiation process into the human race. It helped me - I hope it helps you.
Damn. Lots of thoughts and prayers, Amy. I might lurk, but I do care.
Oh Amy, I'm sorry you and your mom are going through this. It does sound like she's going to be in the clear soon enough, though. Many thoughts and prayers are headed your way.
Amy, you are the second of my friends who lasted between 1/2-1 year at the lovely Christian college in the Midwest (shut it--I have good memories!) to go through this with her mother. Five years later, her mom is healthy. I will be praying for your mom to have the same results. Thinking of you.
The best of wishes for you and your mom. Sounds like a rough road ahead but a good prognosis is promising. I will be praying for the best for you both.
My grandmother has the cystic fibroid condition as well. It had gotten so bad that they did a complete mastectomy on her. I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this more-common-than-it-really-should-be situation. Prayers to your mother and your family for a healthy recovery.
Listen, my mom had it too, 25 years ago! And she had exactly what your mom had, and the radiation and the surgery all of it. And she's fine. And my best friend, two years ago, now on Tamoxifen. And she's fine too. And your mom will be fine. She will. She's got a squishy to look forward to!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending her my best!
My condolences and wishes for a quick recovery, I know that is so generic but I do mean it. I wanted to put in that buying postage stamps is another way you can support the cause, one of my 'side jobs' is to handwrite about 50-100 thank you note's a month for a company and I make a point to use the Breast Cancer postage stamps, every little bit helps!
Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sending my best wishes for a fast and full recovery her way.
Sorry to hear the news, but it is GREAT that they caught it early. My mother-in-law is a survivor and she's been cancer-free for eight years now. She proudly takes part in the Race For the Cure each year and she donates tons to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Your mom will get through this and she will be stronger for it. But how sucky for you to have to worry about that stuff on top of the Squishy worries!
Thinking of you and your mom and squishy lots and lots.
Oh Jeez. I fear nothing anyone says will make you feel better because This Is Your Mom. But just in case, I've known about 10 women with breast cancer, including my aunt, and from my experiences, the words "We caught it early enough" have always meant: "You will eventually be OK." For real, though, it's not fun and I am so sorry.
But you'll be there for your Mom. And your family will be there for your Mom, including your dad. And she'll get back a hell of a lot of the love and support she's been dishing out all these years.
You've got lots of people's thoughts and prayers with you.
Prayers for you, your mom and squishy. my aunt was diagnosised last year and I am still working on her scarf that I said I would crochet for her.
You and your mom are in my thoughts.
Delurking to wish you and your mom strength and courage.
Amy,
I just started reading your blog recently and I LOVE your blog. What a shock when I read about your mom. I am sorry that anyone has to go through that. My mom also had breast cancer in August of 2003. She too had scares in the past and when the Dr's finally said it's cancer, she and I were just sort of stunned. She survived that but has since past on from other complications unrelated to cancer. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please update us on her progress and know that you have tons of people across the world thinking of you and your family.
So sad to hear about your mother - what a stressful time for your family. My mother had breast cancer, but has been cancer-free for over 10 years now.
Think positive and hang in there!