In the Pink
July 14, 2005
Yesterday I received a lovely, actual-handwritten-on-paper note from Minarae, thanking me for an embarrassingly paltry donation I made to her Breast Cancer 3-Day fund. She also enclosed a pink wristband.
Now, for the record, I'm fairly tired of the whole wristband thing. Sure, it was awesome when the LIVESTRONG bracelets first came out, because who doesn't love Lance Armstrong? (America-haters, that's who.) And they're a great idea, really, for people who truly and passionately support a certain cause. But the whole craze took a fairly distasteful turn when the yellow bands became some sort of must-have fashion accessory and everybody was wearing them, even if they'd only given the actual charity a dollar just to get the band, or got one from someone giving them away for free at the office.
And now it's officially gotten out of hand, what with collector's sites selling 400 frillion different bands along with retired Beanie Babies and all these half-wits running around wearing three or four different bracelets that COORDINATE WITH THEIR OUTFITS, and oh my God, those rainbow ones are soooo cute. Who do you have to support to get that one?
Please don't think I'm bashing everybody who wears a wristband. Just, you know, the assholes.
Because I'm sure as hell going to wear this pink one.
Because my mom's been diagnosed with breast cancer.
When my mom called to tell me about the lump, it barely registered. Between my mom, my sister and I, the doctors have found dozens and dozens of lumps. We all have the fibrocystic breast disease. Which is not so much of a "disease" as is it is a "huge pain in the boobs," because our breasts ALWAYS have cysts and lumps and suspicious activity going on, but in the end, the lumps are ALWAYS benign. ALWAYS, I tell you. I'm only 27 and have already had four breast ultrasounds, one mammogram and three aspirations of suspicious-yet-benign cysts. Lumps are just not a Big Scary Thing around here.
And unlike my poor dad, whose entire life in one experiment in medical terror after another, my mom's always been the healthy one.
So when she called to say her doctor was ordering a biopsy on yet another lump, we kind of mutual-eye-rolled and sighed because DUH, it's just another cyst that's absorbed some blood so it looks abnormal but everything will be fine in the end and when are you coming down to help me paint the baby's room?
She won't be coming down to paint the baby's room. Instead she'll be having her second surgery in a month to remove more breast tissue because they aren't satisfied with the margins they got the first time around.
And then she'll be starting radiation.
And then she'll be starting a five-year drug regimen to fight the other strain of breast cancer she has, because oh yeah, she's got two different kinds blah blah blah lots of letters and abbreviations and one strain is apparently scary and aggressive and does this mean you won't be able to come down and help me take care of the baby after Jason goes back to work? Because I don't know what I'm doing and want my mommy?
Her prognosis is good. Her oncologist is confident they caught it early enough. Huge props and shout-outs to routine mammograms.
But still. I'm wearing the damn wristband. And writing a bigger check next time.
Because that one-in-eight statistic is suddenly talking about my mother. And my baby's Nana. And we both need her around for a good, long time.



Wow - what the hell do you say to that??? I am so very sorry that this is happening. I'm sure that sounds odd coming from all these people that have never met you, but I'm sure that we'd all agree. Please have faith and trust that she will be fine! I am sending many good thoughts your way and hope that Mommy gets through it all with a minimum of distress.
*hug*
My mother and I have also had problematic boobs all our lives, and my mother was also diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. But, like with your mother, they caught it early because they were checking her regularly. She had a lumpectomy and radiation and she's been cancer-free since. But I'll never forget how terrifying that situation was.
Hang in there. It's such great news that they found it early. I will be thinking of you and your family.
So sorry, Amy. I'll be sending positive thoughts and prayers for both of your parents and for LOTS AND LOTS of years playing with bablah until they are old gray and wrinkled and 112 each.
Prayers to Mamalah. Every year when I do the Races for the Cure (I try to both the MD and the DC every year,) the number of pink-shirted survivors seems to increase. Some say that's because the cancer rate is rising, but I choose to believe that it just means that more women and men are beating it.
I did the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day in 2002. Some of my donors gave me in excess of $100, some gave me $5 or $10. Some people couldn't give me anything except a pat on the back. It all mattered.
I'm also sending prayers to your mom and your entire family. Cancer just hits me really hard -- all 4 of my grandparents had it -- so I'm always sending random donations out there to various ACS things. I hope one of them helps your mom.
My mom was diagnosed w/ breast cancer in 2000, and it scared me to death.
5 years later, she's a survivor: healthy and happy.
and i'm walking the breast cancer 3-day in sept. to try and stop this madness.
you're all in my prayers.
So sorry to hear about your mom, girl. I know she's going to be okay. Just hang in there.
I had to actually stop, and scroll back up to reread. Best of luck to your mom. That statistic is one of the most frightening things ever.
oh - my thoughts are with you and your family. may nana be around for many years of kissing booboos and nana hugs - both for you and the wee one.
I couldn't stop on by and not comment....I am sorry to hear what you - your mother - is going through. I remember you commenting on your father's health before. It is never easy. I am channeling positive thoughts your way.
Delurking to add my good wishes to the rest of the responses. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, and will be thinking good thoughts for her that she will be around for many many years to spend time with you and the squishy.
Totally praying for your mom and family Amy. My mom has stomach cancer and her mom has cervical cancer. My chances are pretty good huh?
Wishing nothing but the best for you, your mom, Squishy and the whole family.
Sending hugs to you and wishing for your mom's speedy recovery.
Dear Cancer, we all hate you. Please go away and never come back.
Oh, I'm going to think positive and send out hugs and prayers for you and your family. I'm so, so glad it was caught early.
Hey Amy,
So very sorry to hear about your mom. My own Mama has a similar problem to you all, but it's always kind of scary until they know for sure one way or the other.
I hope your baby's Nana responds well and quickly to the radiation and that she will make a complete recovery.
You are ALL in my prayers, for what they are worth.
I just HAD to delurk for this!
Hugs.. My mom is a 3 year survivor now. Scary, scary, scary..
But I bet the baby will be a nice distraction for her in the upcoming months!
Best of luck, and keep us posted.
This post immediately brought to mind for me the post about your dad being hospitalized and you all sitting around trying to reenact his head trauma. If there's a family that can just SCARE cancer away, yours is it. Best wishes for all of you as your mom fights this bastard.
I'm so sorry. Having just been through the whole cancer thing with my MIL, I know that it's scary and it sucks. I wear my Lance Armstrong bracelet every day in her memory. (Don't freak out, she had aggressive lung cancer...TOTALLY different from breast cancer). It sounds like they caught your mom's cancer early which is obviously a good thing. I'm just sorry you all have to deal with this. Sorry isn't even an adequate word for these situations, is it?
well, best wishes to your mom and your whole family, because i know how hard it is to get that phone call.
and i'm with you on the wristband thing being a bit annoying, but i'm still going to wear my ONE campaign one when it gets here (in a MONTH, dammit). and yours is cute and pink, so will make any outfit even prettier. ;)
I'm sorry your family is going through this, and like Lindsey said, sorry really isn't an adequate word for what you're all going through.
If only the words of a stranger could do more than just wish you all well.
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I'm wishing your mother a speedy recovery and thinking about you!
My mom has had breast cancer twice, ten years apart, and this Spring she was diagnosed once again. It is scary, but with new drugs etc., the chances of curing women are very good. I'll be praying for your mom.
I wear a pink wristband as well. Your mom is definitely in my thoughts & prayers.
I'm so happy that most everyone who has commented and has had a mother/aunt/grandparent, etc who has been diagnosed with breast cancer has been fortunate enough to have beat it. My mom had it twice and passed away when I was 19 - way before I was seriously thinking about eventually getting married and having a baby :) But that was 12 years ago and I know things have totally changed in the meantime. Prognosis and protocol are so much better now than before.
I'm not one to pray, per se, but I will be sending lots of good thoughts and well wishes to your mom. I'll ask my mom to do so too :)
Long time reader (or lurker), first time commenter. I just wanted to say that, as someone who follows your life via the Web as most of the people who comment, I was very saddened to hear about your mom (because, you know, i feel like i totally know you). I wanted to add my thoughts and prayers and good vibes to the chorus.
Much love to you all.
Thinking warm, fuzzy, healing, loving thoughts... for you and your mom
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Sending positive thoughts for her to get better soon.
Prayers, good karma, hope, and pixie dust for all of you.
Delurking to send thoughts and healing stuff from over here for your mother and for your family.
NOW it's personal. :(
I'm praying for your Mom and whole family. I'm a nurse and work in a radiation therapy clinic.
I have met so many amazing and strong women with breast cancer. It's a scary disease(like all cancer)but treatment and cure have come so far.
Oh, Amy... I just found this entry, and read the one about your dad, and I could cry for you. It sounds like your mom'll be just fine, though, and I'm glad to hear that: keeo wearing that band.
Sending good thoughts for you, your mom and your family. I loudly second your props and shout-outs to routine mammograms. We Karma women all are fibrocystic too and know the value of finding those kinds of things early.
I got tears in my eyes reading your post. Amy, I'm keeping your family in my prayers and I am so sorry that your mom (and you) are going through this.
I'm very sorry.
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 17 (two years ago). She had the surgeries and radiation and is still on the 5 years course of drugs (which I think all women take after treatment? but maybe your mum has something different...) I'm sure though that she'll get through it and everything will turn out fine and good.
Amy,
I know exactly what you're going through. My mom was diagnosed almost 20 years ago at age 38. My husband's mom is a breast cancer survivor.
It's amazing how far they have come with teatment of this disease. Early diagnosis is key. My thoughts will be with you and your mom.
Keeping your mother and your family in my thoughts and prayers. So sorry to hear the news Amy.
I'll be thinking of you and your mom. My mother had breast cancer when I was in high school. She fought like a tiger, and after one mastectomy, kicked it in the ass, but it was a tough time.
This made my heart ache. My mother was diagnosed in Dec. 2004 and had a bi-lateral mastectomy in Jan. 2005. 4 chemos later, loss of her hair and countless upon countless hours of crying and hugging, she is making a full recovery. Cancer took her breasts and it TRIED to take her hair (we had a shaving party before THAT happened) but it will never, ever, EVER take her beautiful spirit. Tell your mom to stay strong!
Amalah,
You and your mother are in my thoughts. It will be rough going, but it sounds like she'll be back to "Mommying" you in no time..
On another note, coincidentally, last night my husband rode home from work on the El next to a group of college kids, one of whom had an armful of rubber bracelets. His friends were kind of making fun of him, and asking how much he had invested in rubber-based arm accoutrements, but he was quick to reassure them that he "didn't pay for all of them. People gave most of them" to him. Umm. So the point of wearing them is as a fashion statement, then?
Hi, I completely agree with the comment about too many bracelets. It has lost its power. I can relate to the alternate reality you're living right now. Here you are in what should be one of the happiest times of life, but have to deal with this kind of crap. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer the year after I married, and then passed away when I was newly pregnant with my 1st preg. I miscarried that baby, and no one can tell me that it wasn't due to the stress from the illness, emotional upheaval, funeral, probate, etc. It sounds like your mom has a great progosis, enjoy her while you can.
It is tough having a parent sick- especially 2 (as it sound sin your case). My Mom has had cancer, a brain tumor, horrible glacoma and a bone condition and all kinds of problems from the 1st 2 and the last (could she have more wrong with her). It is hard to see our parents suffer and so hard to even think about them not being there. Hang in there! I will keep your Mom in my thoughts. I am pg too and I don't know what I would do without my Mom there- so hugs!
I am 28 and had breast surgery a year ago. I, too, have the fybrocystic breast thingy, but this time, it was a solid mass. And benign. Thank god.
My thoughts are with you and Nana. Wear the bracelet with pride - and if I can find someone and give them money and get a pink bracelet...I will, and wear it with hope.
Even if it doesn't match.
Hey allison, I still have more fundraising thank you bracelets like Amy's just waiting to be sent out to my next donors. :-)
Oh, no. I'll be praying for you all. I'm so glad it was caught early.
Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm an editor at a cancer journal. Please e-mail if you'd like any information -- or any information interpreted. Two friends of mine were recently diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly this Thing I talk about casually every day was way too Real. Prayers and hugs to you and your mom.
i'm so sorry amalah.
my nana and my most favorite person in the world - my aunt - have breast cancer, and now the lady i work for has been diagnosed (yesterday).
i will say prayers for you and your mom and your family.
i hope everything will take a good turn and it will get so much better.