The Belly: Bigger Than A Breadbox
August 12, 2005
Behold! Furniture! Constructed using my own two hands! And a hex key! Also a cordless drill because WHO ARE THEY KIDDING WITH THAT HEX KEY SHIT?
I only assembled one side sort of upside down, which I discovered after putting everything else together, so meh, it's staying like that. And after looking at this picture I see that I didn't do such a great job snapping that one side together because there's a gap. A gap that will surely lure small fingers in and then mysteriously close itself up around them, like an evil, possessed toy box portal from hell, which would make a really cool horror movie now that I think about it, but instead I'm just going to give the left side a few swift kicks when I get home to properly close up that gap.
By the way, the box? Is already near overflowing with toys. I have no crib or changing table or even a decent supply of diapers, but Lord, this child has about four frillion toys. All of which are promising to thrill, delight and stimulate him and have him solving complex math problems by the age of six months.
The belly at 33 weeks. Seven weeks to go.
Jason's official reaction, whenever he catches a glimpse of the naked belly: "Jesus Christ."
I am carrying exclusively and 100% all in the belly, which means I look like I've shoved a beach ball up my shirt.
Which means I look like this:
Not Pictured: The Krispy Kreme doughnuts I purchased this morning for my assistant and I, which I ended up eating all by myself because I forgot she had the morning off. They were delicious and plentiful.
People are starting to ask me if I think I'll be induced early "because he's so big." Which, what?
Are you calling my child fat?
It's called eight months pregnant, people. It's not always gonna be pretty. Or petite. And yes, I'm aware that my belly button shows through my shirt. I'm delighted that you pointed that out.
Anyway, we're getting pretty excited, and have even expressed our excitement in refrigerator-magnet form.