I Barely Even Thought About My Kitchen This Weekend...
The Thing About Assvice

No, I Am Not Off Having the Baby Right This Very Moment

It was nice of everybody to jump to that conclusion, but in reality I was:

1) Being told that I will probably not ever have this baby, and

2) Trying to figure out how to put the Wednesday Advice Smackdown on an impromptu hiatus, because people, I CANNOT WRITE ABOUT SHAMPOO ANYMORE.

I saw my OB this morning, FULLY AND COMPLETELY CONFIDENT that I was going to be told lovely tales of effasement and dilation, because...well, I've been getting these stabbing pains in the lady-business area and I read that this could be a sign of your cervix dilating. And I chose to believe this with my entire being.

So I laid back, smiled proudly when my doctor marveled at my sudden and rapid belly growth ("Yes! The Internet thinks the same thing!"), gritted my teeth in hatred when he told me that keeping my skin moisturized would prevent more stretch marks ("Liar! LIIIIIAARRR!"), and spread my legs for the cervical check.

"No change," he said, and furrowed his Christopher-Guest-in-a-bald-cap brow. "No change at all."

And I made some noise that can only be transcribed as something like, "Whhhaaatttthefucknooocraaap!"

Then he said, "We need to talk about your pelvis."

What followed was a long conversation about my narrow little pelvis and how by the time I hit my due date, it's very likely that I'll need a caesarean section because I am just not built for an eight-pound baby. I'm possibly not even built for a seven-pound baby, but considering my body is showing no interest in going into labor anytime this century, we'll probably blow right past that weight in the next week or so anyway.

And since I Read Things On The Internet Like How Vaginal Pain Equals Dilation And Therefore Know All, I immediately jumped in with the perfect solution: We'll induce! Today! While he's still small enough! We'll beat my pelvis at its own game!

Well, no. Inducing won't work when your cervix is all uptight and whatever. Basically, your body needs to give SOME INDICATION that it would like to start thinking about having the baby before pitocin will do a damn thing. And again, have I mentioned that my body is not doing that? Because it is not?

To make matters worse, the baby is still in the occiput posterior position.  This already indicates a difficult delivery. Add in the possibility that he might not fit under the best of circumstances, and again, I'm looking at an eventual caesarean after a lot of fruitless pushing.

(Assvice smackdown: I've done the whole "get on all fours and stick your butt up in the air" thing multiple times, and while he'll rotate temporarily while I'm doing this, he immediately flips back over once I move. What can I say? He's comfy. And stubborn.)

My doctor is certainly willing to let me try for a vaginal delivery, don't get me wrong. He's not claiming that it's impossible or pressuring me to schedule a c-section right away. Not at all. He just wanted to prepare me for the possibility that hey, this could happen, and in his opinion, it's a very likely outcome. Unless my body decides to do some kind of 0-60 labor in the next week or so, which HA.

I want labor. I want Jason to time contractions and feed me ice chips. I want to push my son out. I want to hold and feed him right away.

I don't want a c-section. I don't want to be heavily medicated and separated from the baby for hours. I don't want major surgery. I don't want to rely on other people to carry the stroller and car seat up and down our stairs for weeks.

But I guess, in the end, what I really want is my baby. And what I really don't want is for anything bad to happen to either of us. So I'll just get over myself.

And maybe if I stop thinking angry thoughts about my stupid fucking cervix it will fucking dilate already and we can talk induction next Wednesday.

(And no Advice Smackdown next Wednesday either, because I'm exhausted and have other things to rant about besides hair products. And I'm really, really tired of talking about hair products. Just stop going to the Hair Cuttery and buying shampoo at Rite Aid. That's basically the beginning and end of proper haircare, and it's become clear that no matter how many times I tell you people that Bed Head is a good product line, the Bed Head people are not sending me any free products. And really, what's the point in doing anything if you don't get presents?)

Comments

Heather B.

I was literally 30 seconds away from asking that very question. I've also just read through the archives so I needed something new to read.

I'm sorry about the c-section thing, that sucks, for lack of a better word. But soon you and babalah will be touring georgetown and enjoying fine meals at Corduroy.

Me

I'm sorry that you are upset about the possible c-section. Here's prayers that you will get the opportunity to push after all!!

Julz

Hang in there it gets better and you get a baby at the end. :)

Lori

Amy, I closed my eyes for the C-section video in the Lamaze classes. The instructor thought I was a fruitcake. I delivered my son--a gorgeous 7 lb. 11 oz. child with golden hair by C-section after 18 hours of labor, during which my husband snoozed and upon awaking, complained about my bad-breath-from-panting. (I never think about divorce, just murder.) Ice chips are overrated. I was up and vacuuming five days after Scott was born, and you know what? I scheduled a C-section for my daughter four years later, since I apparently don't dilate.
And you are right, honey, it IS all about the baby. You'll get your props. You deserve them. But the section was easier, even though I have Polish peasant-girl hips, not wee ones like you do. Bless you. I am praying for you.

Shep

Hey, it's ok! At least you didn't have your baby on the same day as Britney!!

xtine

Despite however much it grosses girls my age out, I would ultimately like to give birth the plain old fashion way as well, primarily because of all those little things you mentioned.

I hope things work out for you, even if only so you can have those memories. But at the very least, do remember that you'll be bringing a wonderful little boy into the world and he'll still have two parents who love him so much. That is the important thing.

JenE

Amen on the Britney comment! Good luck, Amalah!

MKN

I'm sorry that things are not going the way you'd hoped. I had a c-section myself due to various complications and it was so not the big ordeal I had feared. I was up and around that night (albeit dragging a pole around with a bag of my pee in it... Always a good conversation starter when meeting new people! Hi, nice to meet you, have you met my urine?) Anyway, you bounce back faster than you might think. So if it comes to that, I am sure you will do just fine. And believe me, there's nothing wrong with someone else carting around the stroller for a while! Hang in there. He'll be here soon.

kerri

Amalah, you sound SO brave. Which is awesome! But if you perhaps aren't feeling as brave as you sound, (and even if you are) know that you have many people thinking of you and praying for a safe and speedy delivery. Hugs.

Kristin

I think a scheduled c-section would be happier than fruitless, hellious, torturous and ineffective labour...followed by impromptu c-section because of massive baby (which is what happened to me)

It's cliche, but in the end, it's all about the wicked-wonder of the baby.

Good vibes to you Amy.

Jana

Stubborn cervix=bad and wrong. I hope things start happening for you soon.

And I think I will try some Bed Head stuff. And find a *real* hairstylist. God knows I need to.

nancy

Just think about having stiches in two places, instead of one. Only one set of stitches = happy baby and happy coochie. Then you can also make everyone but yourself do housework for 6 months. Oh right, the docs will all tell you 6 weeks, but what they really mean is months. Or was it years?

honestyrain

my sister is smaller than you (hard to believe and yet, true) and has delivered two babies, one 8 pounds plus) thru her vagina. i am not as small as my sister but i have what is called narrow pelvis something or other and i could NOT get my 8 pound baby out. a person can be very tiny and still have a pelvis that will allow a baby thru. and i have been led to believe that narrow pelvis cannot be diagnosed by looking at a person exteriorily (good word!) but has to be deduced via xray or, in my case, my doctor opened me up and saw my pelvis and said, oh small! no wonder the baby wouldn't come out!

also, i had a c section (did i mention that?) and i held and breast fed my son twenty minutes after he was born. so if it does come to that you can absolutely still bond with your baby shortly after surgery. in fact, i held and fed him sooner than i did with my vaginal birth baby (not sure why that is now that i think of it).

Bethany

I had a c-section due to a breech baby, and I was actually surprised that I felt great after delivery - just as good as I did with my first chil, who was delivered vaginally. During the procedure, I was never separated from my daugher, as my husband held her while they finished me up and he carried her into the recovery room. I was breastfeeding within 5 minutes of being in the recovery room. That baby never left my side! There is no reason (if they baby is doing well) for them to take the baby to get a bath, etc. after delivery, even a c-section (that's what husbands are for.

Isabel

oh Amalah...I hate that you aren't feeling super right now.

Good luck to you and your little family-no matter how you end up having to deliver your little guy.

**although I do look forward to the reinstatement of the Advice Smackdown**

feffer

Assvice: Unless you are freakishly small or Babalah is freakishly huge, a small pelvis will not keep you from delivering vaginally. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into a C-section unless it is medically necessary if you don't want one. Also, Babalah will probably turn during labor, if not before.

Bonanza Jellybean

CRAPPY THING: C-Section

GOOD THINGS:
Babalah doesn't have to share birthdays with Britney's kid.

You will not have to hear the doctor say "Ummm, nurse, can you move that mirror? She doesn't need to see this mess," and proceed to begin what turned out to be 90-something stitches.

I guess I'm trying to tell you to look on the bright side and failing miserably.

Trust me on one thing though- when you get him, you won't even be thinking a little bit about how he got here. Promise on that one.

Lisa B

I'm trying to find something funny and clever and meaningful to say but I think even if I did it wouldn't really help. If he ain't done baking, I guess he ain't done baking. But in a week alot can happen.

Frema

Maybe you could just start a regular Assvice Smackdown, in which you would address all the various "well-meaning advice" you've received in the last year.

I'll keep you and your cervix in my prayers.

Kelly

Wow - what a productive/unproductive appointment that was, huh?! Well, here is my advice smackdown for you!

I used to moderate a message board offering support to women who have had c-sections. The best advice I can offer now is to keep your mind open to the "possibility" that you may need one. Most women who have difficulties with the emotions about their c-section usually were not emotionally prepared for one. My son was 8 pounds, 9 ounces and facing the wrong way and I pushed for 2 hours to end up with a c-section. I was so very grateful to have experienced the "labor" part of childbirth, even if it ended the way it did. Don't be afraid, keep your mind open and your birth experience, however it ends, will be unforgetable! Hang in there!

blackbird

I haven't read any of the other comments because I don't care about them. Also because I am "all knowing" and "older" and have had three babies in all kinds of ways (c-section and not, epi and not).
I am here to de-lurk and tell you that you can have
1. castor oil
2. lots of sex
3. lobster

One of these three things MIGHT send you into labor.
Have fun trying.

Kelli

oh Amalah, knower of hair and shoes, this is my first real comment, but I love your blog. I work with a woman who came back to work in a week after a c-section!!!! (baby in tow). I know, crazy, but most women recover beautifully which I am sure you will. I hope it doesn't sound too chipper, just a nice note. Oh yeah and Babalah will have totally better hair than feder-baby

Amytoo

Take a long walk and/or a drive over a bumpy road. :) Can't speak about it personally, but it seems to have worked for the women in my family!

Sorry about the pelvis. I'm a big Amazon woman and have a small one. (Similar to "Polish peasant girl hips," hee-hee.) Who'd've thunk it?

Seriously, though, however the birth happens, you will have a perfect little boy-babalah in the end and that is all that matters.

Cagey

I am relieved FOR YOU that Babalah does not have to share a birthday with the FederFetus. Good grief.

Here's wishing for a healthy Babalah, no matter which way he arrives! :-)

maricar

Amy, I don't want to scare you but some of our problems are the same. Malia, who was conceived through IVF, was sunny-side up and my pelvis was too small. But I was in constant labor for 3 weeks before she made her appearance by emergency c-section. I wasn't progressing in the dilation department so I tried everything, sex, walking, sour and spicy foods, crustaceans. Gah. So they moved on to induction as soon as I reached 3cm. Then they figured that after 2 hours of pushing that my pelvis was small and I wanted to rip their eyes out of their sockets. They even had the ob-with-the-smallest-hands come in to try to flip Malia's head over but that was a no go. Long story short, I started gettting a fever, which showed I had an infection, and Malia was in distress. So yeah, I had the c-section. And at the time of delivery and during the consequent recovery, it was difficult but we've come past that now and Malia is 15 months old and as happy as can be. I hardly remember it and by golly, I'd have 9 more if I could. I wish I could call you and talk to you more about it. I'm not a stalker really. :) Just want to share more experiences.

Holy crap, that was the longest paragraph ever.

Ashlie

I am finally de-lurking. Ta-Da! I just wanted to tell you, that as someone who is about a year younger than ya' you've been very educating about pregnancy! Were hoping to have some chilin in the next year and I've been a wee bit anxious over the whole process. Anyway- you seem like one tough women and I look up to you. I do have a question for you- from one person who has panic attacks to another... did you take any medication during your pregnancy? If not, were you anxious at all?
You'll be in my prayers- can wait to meet Babalah!

Peyton

Oh, honey, I promise it will be OK! My friend Robin had an emergency c-section on Sept. 1 and was doing great when I saw her last weekend. You're totally right, of course, the baby is what is the most important.

And labor? Is not all it's cracked up to be. I was in labor, IN LABOR for TEN DAYS before I had Ella. Like, contractions every 3 minutes for hours for days on end. It was AWFUL. At 3-4 cm they finally gave me pitocin and let me have her (and it only took 6 hours from then.)

So sometimes the doctors just aren't right. :-) You could totally have him in a few days - and I'm hoping you do.

Real Girl

Oh crap. Of course I hope you don't have to go through the C-section. But if it makes you feel any better, if you absolutely have to, C-section babies have prettier heads, don't they? And you know...you'll be having a boy. And sometimes boys like to shave their heads or have short haircuts, and hey--how cute is that C-section head!? Girls will swoon over its perfect smoothness.

I was a C-section baby. Love my head.

Jenn

Um, I guess I will not ask you an Advice Smackdown about hair products, because I totally had one, so, well, never mind.

Last week I was on vacation in the Outer Banks, and we had to drive past DC to get there, and both times, I wondered if Squishy would make his appearance while I was internet-less. Poor Amalah, you must feel like the most pregnant woman on Earth.

Incredimom

IMO It's better to know in advance that you're going to need a c-section than to labor for 20 hours only to discover you need one. That makes you exhausted and fed up! Sounds like you're taking all the news pretty well, I'm hoping you have a vaginal (man, that sounds weird to say) but if not, you're right, all that matters is babalah which by the way, did I miss where you posted what his name was going to be? Will you name him Jason?

callistawolf

*BIG HUGS* to you. How very frustrating, hoping to hear the babalah is ready to just shoot out, and then, NADA. :(

I was induced with my son, and had even been a couple cm dialated and whatnot at that point and STILL had to have a c-section. And I know its so NOT the birth you want or have imagined or have dreamed of or hoped for. And that SUCKS. But like you say, you want your baby more than you want a regular delivery and that's what's at the heart of it. And there's some pluses to a c/s too. :)

If you do have a c/s you better believe you will be SHOWERED with love and presents from your online fans. :)

callistawolf

And oh yeah, like several others have said: c/s after hours of labor is a LOT worse than scheduled c/s. Just my experience. :) So if you have to schedule one, at least comfort yourself with that nugget of truth. :D

capello

At least if you had a c-section you'll get to sit upright, unlike I did both times, as reclined and lazy-looking for weeks.

Also, someone's gonna have to carry everything up and down your stairs for weeks, no matter which way you deliver. You never realize how intrigal your girly parts are till they have done some "real work".

Zoot

I'm sorry. Seriously. I know how much I look forward to that "labor" like I've always imagined and if someone took that from me, it would hurt. I wish I could make it better.

I'll lecture your cervix if you'd like.

Elizabeth

If your doctor really thinks you'll need a c-section, think about scheduling one. My first c-section came after almost 24 hours of induction, pitocin and labor in which I never dilated past 3 cm. and I was exhausted by the time my son was delivered. Boy #2 was a planned c-section due to the discovery of a narrow pelvis and even with the morphine I had plenty of energy to nurse my son and visit with family. You really have my support on this.

dazed

I'm still cracking up at "I'll keep you and your cervix in my prayers"...

I'll second that one!!!

LiliVonSchtup

Hi Amalah! I am de-lurking (that sounds sadly like de-lousing, doesn't it?) to tell you it's gonna be okay either way. I have two daughters, and each one came into the world differently. I was disappointed when, after being in labor with my second, I needed an emergency c-section, but with the benefit of hindsight, I have to tell you I give the nod to the section, at least in my experience. As previously noted, you can actually sit in a chair afterwards, and your lady business feels chipper a heck of a lot quicker. I also nursed minutes later, and here's another so-far-unmentioned perk: Babalahs what come out the belly have nice round heads, whereas those who exit via the ying-yang tend to be a little coneheaded, bless their little hearts. Either way you're gonna do fine.
Best to all three of you.

Becky

I had a c-section, and I have another one scheduled about a week after you're due. It really is not a big deal, and there are even advantages to it. No episiotomy! Your lady regions will not have to go through the trauma of a vaginal birth. As another poster noted, you have a beautiful, round-headed baby with no bruises. Having a scheduled c-section makes those last weeks of waiting a lot easier because you have certainty. I was able to be with my son and husband as soon as they finished my surgery. Afterwards, people feel bad for you and do everything for you, even though at least in my case, recovery wasn't any longer than for a vaginal delivery. I honestly don't understand why people make a c-section sound like the end of the world. After I had one, it seemed like the only "normal" way...can't imagine pushing a baby my son's size out. Then again, I guess some women have bad experiences with c-sections. But some women have bad experiences with vaginal deliveries too. I think for most women, they are just as satisfied with either type of birth, as long as they don't feel they were forced into it unnecessarily.

Pammer

The good news? Motherhood is not a contest. The baby is the prize no matter what. The Swimmy was SO breech (and stubborn) that we knew she was a c-section waiting to happen. I got to schedule it 2 weeks early and actually went into labor that morning (guess we picked the REAL birthday after all!).

Love, love, LOVE the fact that (a) when I sneeze now I don't pee, (b) the lady-business area remains nice and non-stretched, (c) she was with me almost immediately (except for some last minute lung checking).

Cheers to your cute babalah -- and here's hopin' for a cute anesthesiologist!

spammit

To quote my dear old mom from one of our quality 'mother-daughter' talks, the great thing about c-sections is "snappy trappy". Of course then I gave birth vaginally. What nickname for vagina rhymes with 'sloppy'?

Just kidding. Either way, you will all be fine.

Laura GF

My unanticipated C-section was tricky to handle emotionally, as Kelly said. But I did get to experience labor and push a little and that was a great thing for my husband and me. Maybe you'll see how much you can experience and play it by ear? I have only had one baby and really have no idea what I'm talking about here. But on the C-section front, I can say that:

* There are plenty of great things about being at the hospital anticipating your baby and then enjoying the baby afterward. L&D is one piece but definitely not the biggest piece. Being left alone with our baby was the best thing for my husband and me and that was what we got to experience the most.
* I didn't feel heavily medicated, though I was on morphine -- somehow the thrill of holding the baby pushed the negative effects of the medicine aside.
* I was only separated from the baby for an hour, and my husband got to be with our daughter the entire time. It was an incredible bonding experience for the two of them (esp. after me experiencing most of the real pregnancy stuff). And as I say, there is -tons- of time afterward to hold and feed the baby. Not that this is a perfect situation, I realize.
* Major surgery = great pain medication afterward. I was on Percocet for a couple of weeks and had no problems holding the baby, standing up with the baby, etc. Also, no crazy tears.
* Prettier baby, since no pushing through canals and whatnot to misshape the head.

I know that vaginal delivery is what you really want and hope you have one. I only wanted to say that a C-section is not as bad as I imagined it would be before I had one. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, in case that will do any good.

JustLinda

Sounds like you have a great attitude about it all! I hope you get the birth you want. Either way, you get a prize at the end.

I've had 4 vaginal and 1 section. And I'll say this: with a c-section the baby has a nice, round little charlie-brown cute head AND the mom gets more and better drugs. Gotta look on the bright side, huh?

Joy

I had the same problem. Tiny pelvis, no effacement or dialation, etc. Mess. Pain in the ass.

If you have a choice on the whole c-section thing I'd say try to go in for a planned c-section and not an emergency one. You recover faster from planned ones.

I won't sugar coat it, c-sections suck ass. I really hope you don't have to have one but I also admire your frame of mind when you say you just want the baby.

Be well,

Joy

stephany

"get on all fours and stick your butt up in the air" Maybe they were assuming you would stay that way until you went into labor. Just like that for a couple weeks. Anything it takes. It would atleast result in one of those "You are fucking weird" looks from your dog, which are priceless coming from someone who licks their ass.

becky

I just thought of another c-section advantage after watching yet another birth show on discovery health channel. If you have a scheduled c-section, you don't have to listen to the INCREDIBLY annoying nurse always present at the vaginal deliveries on those shows, the one who says: PUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSH over and over again in a very shrill tone, as if you're going to forget you're having a baby and start reading a newspaper or something if she doesn't "coach" you. I always thought I'd smack that nurse if I had to hear that during delivery.:)

becky

I just thought of another c-section advantage after watching yet another birth show on discovery health channel. If you have a scheduled c-section, you don't have to listen to the INCREDIBLY annoying nurse always present at the vaginal deliveries on those shows, the one who says: PUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSH over and over again in a very shrill tone, as if you're going to forget you're having a baby and start reading a newspaper or something if she doesn't "coach" you. I always thought I'd smack that nurse if I had to hear that during delivery.:)

becky

I just thought of another c-section advantage after watching yet another birth show on discovery health channel. If you have a scheduled c-section, you don't have to listen to the INCREDIBLY annoying nurse always present at the vaginal deliveries on those shows, the one who says: PUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSHPUSH over and over again in a very shrill tone, as if you're going to forget you're having a baby and start reading a newspaper or something if she doesn't "coach" you. I always thought I'd smack that nurse if I had to hear that during delivery.:)

becky

Oops, sorry for annoying triple post:)

Jessica

I know you hate assvice, but I'm going to give you some anyway. I go to midwives, am due 10/3 with my second. They advised taking Evening Primrose Oil (1 capsule 3 times a day). It helps efface and dilate you. Also, the whole c-section thing . . . I have a very narrow pelvis and delivered an 8 lb. baby 4 days late after being induced. The thing is, there's no way to know if your pelvis will expand or not until you're in labor because your body loosens all those joints and EPO helps. Don't be discouraged yet. Also, try to be patient and don't rush to an induction. I know you think natural childbirth is nuts, but I did it with an induction and no epidural and the thing is, you're more likely to need an section if you have an epidural. I've been reading you for a long time now and you're certainly a strong willed woman with a good attitude so think positive thoughts, take some EPO, drink some red raspberry leaf tea (GNC) and try to relax. You don't have to give up your idea of ice chips and pushing quite yet.

gorillabuns

delurking here...i know the disappointment in not having the magical experience the first time of pushing the watermelon through a straw. the typical scenario of going nowhere fast and the emergency c-section was the only option. i prayed for the c-section at that time. all i can say is take your pain medication (it's not going to hurt the baby - they sleep even better!) and you'll be up the next day walking around. as for having the baby right after delivery, there really isn't any difference. i held mine right after they were weighed and cleaned up (eeww) and started breast feeding immediately. i'm personally all for the non-prolapsed uterus and rectum.

MelV

I too had stubborn cervix and my dr ordered me to have as much sex as I could stand b/c apparently semen has the same hormones that cause dialation and labor. Hey, its worth a shot. Good luck!!!

abbey

these comments are all so very frightening.
i'm going to adopt.

Kris

I say (after having two, one who was A WEEK LATE), forget the Mexican food and the bumpy roads and the sex...Well, maybe not the sex, that one is medically proven, something about the dude-juice speeds things up - but other than that, watch a funny movie, Tivo some old Seinfelds, do anything entertaining and funny to get your mind off when the baby might come. I think relaxation will get the baby out sooner than anything else, and maybe just in time...

lizardek

Well, you've had plenty of assvice and advice as well, so I'll chime in with some more. I had 2 c-sections, both after HOURS of labor (19 the first time, emergency; 15 the second time, non-emergency)...I was holding the baby in both cases quite quickly afterwards (although the first took a bit longer since I was under all the way). You shouldn't worry about bonding, you'll bond! C-sections have nothing to do with the quality of your bonding :) Also, I was up in 1.5 days after both of them, even though I had to take it easy, and believe me, after labor, regardless, Jason SHOULD be carrying stuff around for you. After all, you've been carrying something around FOR TEN MONTHS. And finally, whoever it was up there above me who said c-secton=happy coochie was SO RIGHT. Hang in there! Whichever way Babalah comes out, he'll be yours! Plus, pregnancy and delivery obviously dim to misty memories for all of us, otherwise why would we ever have more than one?? :)

Matt

Sorry to hear of your dilemma...

Just to let you knwo that my wife ended up having a c-section and - whilst the recovery period was longer - she still held our son right away and did all the 'normal' things you do once you've given birth...he went to recovery with her.. I don't know - maybe they do things differently in the US..??

Whatever happens, all the best - you'll love it (even when, like myself this morning, you are woken up at 4am because he has turned on his front and got his head wedged in the corner of his cot...)

kat

2 C-sections here...Number one: after much labor + anesthesia = no see the baby for 12 hours. Number two: scheduled C + hubby in attendance + Mommy awake = assurance that this one was indeed MY kid! Added bonus? No pointy headed kids! Another bonus? No chance of your teeny tiny "lady business" ripping open!

jomama

Well, I've never had a baby before, so there'll be no assvice from me. I'm kinda in the same boat with Abbey who said all these comments are frightening (but it's too late for me to just adopt).

I just want to tell you that you are in my thoughts and I hope that your son makes it into this world happy and healthy and with a happy and healthy mom. Please relax and think good thoughts.

Lori

Here's hoping for natural delivery, and you've now freaked me out because after delivering my son (9 lbs 8 oz) to apparent massive tearing, my doc said 'we'll induce you early next time, you can't handle another 9-10 pound baby. And so, now you're telling me they can't just do that?!?

I feel for you on the not wanting a Csection, but after awhile, you start to get over angst (I stopped breastfeeding after 1 month - ANGST GUILT ANGST) and just enjoy your child, so whichever way it happens, it will be okay.

Thelma

After reading through all of these comments I literally feel sick to my stomach. I guess the statistic of this country having a 75% C-Section rate by 2010 is about right. There is a reason we have a pelvis that changes once the body goes into labor, and breast that can feed a baby. Let your body do it's job. I'm sorry that I even felt the need to write this, I'm trying to balance out all of the "Yea, C-Sections" are great posts, get real people. If it HAS to happen fine but use it as a last resort.

bd

Ok, forcing you cervix to cooperate is NOT easy. I was induced at 36 weeks (due date was yesterday) due to low amniotic fluid. Cervix was not ready yet. I was on pitocin for over 24 hours and still wasn't dialated until they gave me the FULL dose. Thank god for epidurals. Highly recommend them. Get the catheter put in while you are calm, then they can drug you up later without difficulty. I did push out a 6 lb, 11 oz baby, but I have "birthing hips" as my grandmother put it. I think she would have been 8 lbs if we went to term. It sucks about the c-section, but yes, think that it is all about the babalah, and you will be fine. Jason is sounds very supportive, so I don't think he would mind carrying stuff for you for a while. Good luck and godspeed!

PaintingChef

oh. my. god. Completely rethinking this whole baby thing...

VHMPrincess

My DR never tells women they're not anywhere near ready - apparently EVERY time he's done that, she's gone into full blown, fast dialating labor that day. So he doesn't do it. Apparently you can go from 0 to 60 faster than your car in some circumstances.

My SIL gave birth in the ER bathroom because they didn't believe that she could go that fast (she went in at the first couple of contractions because they started out 4 minutes apart) and were beating around the bush about admitting her.

Good luck! I hope it's soon though - the waiting and not knowing suck. I had my son at 39 weeks and MAN was i done being pregnant!

amalah

Okay! Closing comments now.

GAH.

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