The Girl Who Cried Boob
October 27, 2005
So. The Great Nursing Strike of 2005 is over.
I reached my breaking point yesterday and decided that I? Was quitting the breastfeeding thing. Ding! I'm done, crack open the Similac and let's all toast to Modern Engineered Nutrition.
But I didn't have any clean bottles. So I popped everything in the sterilizer and stuck it in the microwave.
But I didn't feel like listening to Noah scream for four whole minutes. So I popped open my shirt and stuck him on the boob.
FORTY MINUTES LATER, I burped him and put him in his crib.
FORTY MINUTES. OF PURE, UNADULTERATED NURSING ACTION.
He had his one-month physical today and weighs 10 pounds, 10 ounces. He's gained a full inch in length. He peed on Lactation Consultant v.1.0 and nursed for 20 minutes right in the exam room just to make me sound insane when I tried to convince her that seriously, this child REFUSED TO EAT FOR DAYS AND DAMN NEAR SCARED ME TO DEATH.
Sidenote: I actually kind of like Lactation Consultant v.1.0 now, since I have mastered the secret Zen art of the "Smile and Nod" whenever she starts going on and on about something that a less Zen person might perceive as an attack on her mothering skills.
LC v.1.0: This baby doesn't have a set bedtime yet? He NEEDS a set bedtime! Now! Set a bedtime!
Amy: *smiles and nods, thinks about ponies*
Anyway, I want to thank the Internet at large for all the wonderfully reasoned and supportive comments on Tuesday's post. I have witnessed more brawls break out over posts about breastfeeding and seriously -- I was expecting some kind of throwdown or a couple whackjobs to tell me that Hitler's mother quit breastfeeding at four weeks too, so there you go.
I didn't delete a single comment. And I didn't get a single whackjob email. In fact, I got very very NICE emails. Emails that, if I were not a very awful person, I would probably respond to in a timely fashion.
But right now? I have to go breastfeed my baby. Again. For like, the 40th time today. Because he is making up for lost time and oh my God, I haven't closed my bra all day and why did I want this so much again? Something about antibodies? And bonding? Bah.