Things That Have Reduced Me To Hot Hysterical Tears In The Past 24 Hours

We Broke the Baby

Not THE baby, but the other one.

Scene: Veterinary Emergency Room, midnight.

Amy Storch (as seen in The Washingtonian) hobbles into lobby. She's wearing a stunning ensemble of a stained white t-shirt and maternity sweatpants that she never actually wore during pregnancy because hello, frumpy. The nursing pads shoved into her ill-fitting nursing bra are clearly visible. She's wearing no makeup and her hair is in a ponytail on the top of her head, a la Britney Spears.The only trace of the girl she used to be is the designer diaper bag she's dragging behind her which THANK GOD she packed it up months ago, because otherwise it'd probably contain no actual diapers, much less the little tube of Vasoline and the extra baby socks that are in there now. You'd think she was four or five months pregnant if it weren't for the sight of her husband coming in behind her with a three-day-old infant in a car seat.

In her arms, she's carrying a very small dog. The very small dog's front leg is bent in a way that very small dogs' legs should not bend.

She gets to the front desk and can only sob.

Aaaaaaannnnnd...that was our first night home with Noah.

I'd just finished nursing Noah (who is down to an even 9 pounds because no one informed my boobs that I'd given birth to a two-month old), when I yelled at Ceiba to stop licking the baby for the frillionth time that day. She jumped off the bed.

And then there was some kind of Bouncy Seat/Hardwood Floors Incident and the next thing we knew she was howling in pain and sort of flailing all over the place.

I thought, for a split second, that she'd broken her back and I nearly blacked out.

But no, she broke her front leg. It's a clean break, but both leg bones are broken damn in two. She'll require surgery, which she'll get today. We left her at the vet last night so they could get her pain under control and apply a temporary splint.

(This whole mess will cost over three thousand dollars, which at this point I need to say if you people have pets and no pet insurance? You be insane.)

(Of course, I am saying this before I have called the pet insurance people to double-check that they will actually cover the surgery, because GOD, insurance companies are assholes.)


God. I'm tired. All this shit is happening and yet I? Have not pooped since Thursday.

Anyway. Our first night home was less than a raging success, except for the real human baby part. He's fine. He's actually the most perfect child ever, in my opinion. I mean, he's sleeping on a Boppy pillow wrapped around my chest right now just so I could use the laptop and tell the Internet that my dog broke her leg because the Internet will understand.

Right? You understand. Just like my mom understood when I called her at 12:30 last night, scaring her out of her damn mind because all I could do at first was cry -- which of course meant that Noah was dead or sick or dead, but no, I was just calling because my dog is hurt and it's all my fault and I'm sitting here in the vet's office in ugly clothes and I left the Percoset at home and I brought the baby to the vet where he can catch rabies or something and I'm kind of a wreck, Mommy, can you just tell me everything is going to be okay?

She did, and it will., my poor little dog. I spent all day yesterday yelling at her to stop being a pain in the ass. I can only imagine what's going to happen one day when I yell at Noah to stop being a turd and then he like, gets a hangnail or something. I might not be able to forgive myself.

<and now, the obligatory baby photos>






Oh poor Ceiba!

You make me laugh though... I have to put on the "pretend I'm working in all seriousness" face because, hello? I'm at work...but I am howling inside.


Sorry to hear about the canine baby. Hopefully all is well that ends well...I have pet insurance for that exact reason.

Beautiful, beautiful boy. Congrats!


Congratulations on Noah! What an awesome name! And I'm not saying that just because it is my son's name. He's gorgeous!

I'm sending good thoughts your way for your dog. There is nothing worse than a sick/hurt child or dog.



i didnt even READ this yet, when i saw it had 0 comments. and i click Comment immediately, and there were already 5. sheeeesh :P


So sorry to hear about C. It's just so stressful with a new wee one in the house, and the poor pets have those awful 'replaced' feelings. Deep breaths. It will be fine.

Noah is so beautiful....but you knew that.:)

Sarah Holland

Oh my god you poor thing! I'm so sorry!

Important thing to remember I think dogs have a longterm memory of like 30 minutes so Ceiba will not remember you yelling at her and will only be happy to be home after being at the vets. Also Noah won't remember anything till after he's 3 so if he gets a hangnail or something before then you're golden.


Ceiba will be okay Amy. You've just got too much going on right now.

Noah has some adorable little toes by the way!!


Maybe this was Ceiba's acting out due to feeling supplanted by Noah. Or, maybe klutz happens. Either way, I totally feel your Mommy pain (for the dog, that is; I don't have children) and hope tonight is less exciting. Can't wait for Ceiba-in-cast pics!


Luckily, dogs will love you no matter what, especially when it is not really your fault! I understand the post-yelling-at-your-dog guilt, however

And Noah? He is a precious angel. Congratulations!


How much more can happen?? Seriously! But Ceiba will be fine ... but dealing w/both insurance companies right now will be so much fun!

AND Noah is darling! So cute! And I believe you held it together much more than I ever could have... and you had me laughing out loud here at work. Sure my boss in the next cube over is wondering...


okay, well, make that only 3 comments before mine at the time. i cant count in a rush.

sorry Ceiba was broked. hopefully he'll be back to gooder soon. (haha. i'm so cool)

i live that first picture.

and didnt someone in your LAST post tell you not to go anywhere without the Percoset???

well, like you have time to read these anyways :P but it makes US feel better ;)


Ohhhh, poor Ceiba!
I do that with my cats all the time--yell at them when they are being pains when all they really want is (insert something important here, like food or loving). So I can somewhat understand.

Just remember, these are the stories you can tell Noah and laugh about when he is all old and grown up and asks you, "Mom. what was it like when I was born?"

He's beautiful. Everything will be fine.

Heather B.

A collective awwwwwww...
Poor Ceiba.
But at least you have the world's cutest baby.


Ha! I am NOT at work, so I only have to smother my laughter from my husband who IS working (at home) so he doesn't see how much fun I am having NOT working. I have a good gig here and must protect it all costs.

Poor Ceiba - so many adjustments.

Poor Amalah - so many adjustments.

Lisa B

Poor Ceiba. Poor you. Poor Jason. I can completely relate. And if Ceiba is licking the baby, maybe that's not all bad... Sounds like she is liking her little brother. Our dog, is still kinda pissed at us for bringing a two-legged, hairless critter home. AND ITS BEEN THREE YEARS!

Our first night home from the hospital, we had to sleep with the lights on because everytime we'd turn them off the baby would SCREAM! But he'd sleep in the brightest light possible. So we had to sleep that way too. What I learned: You have some really fucked up dreams that way.

I love Noah's little toes. He's giving me baby fever.

Sarah L

He is adorable!


Oh Amalah, poor little Ceiba! Is she okay today? I would have FREAKED also if I saw my pooches flailing all over the ground. Are you doing okay today? Ceiba is going to be okay and a little cast for a little while and she'll be back to her old crazy licking self.

Hugs to you, and seriously, I could eat Noah up he is so adorable!


You poor thing. After that bang-up start, things can only get better.

Noah is beautiful.

Amber McNaught

Eeek, poor Ceiba! But yes, as someone else has said above, just imagine the "your first night home!" story you'll have for Noah!


I'm sorry that you had such a rough first night. My pup broke his toe (it's okay to laugh now) and I was the same crying wreck over a TOE! AND I didn't have a brand new baby.

I want to nibble that baby's toes! Yummy!

JL Dropout

Cute pictures! Poor Ceiba! New babies are traumatic on dogs at first, but you know, they get over it, I promise. This way she will have to sit and let you pet her and she won't lick the baby. There is some sort of cloud in every silver lining. Errrr... thats not EXACTLY how the saying goes!


Get well soon Ceiba! And babalah looks like Mamalah!


It's the squeaky wheel syndrome!! Ceiba staged the accident so that she could get babied a bit too. Gotta love them pets... They're smarter than us sometimes :-)

Love that baby's toes, by the way. They're the cutest toes of all cute toes, ever.


I'm sorry to hear about Ceiba, but I'm sure that she'll be okay. I will spare you the details, but one of my pets got a very serious leg break and healed just fine. None of this changes the fact that it is scary and sad and NOT what you need on your first night home with the baby.

The ADORABLE baby, btw.


Poor Poor puppy dog. I hope the insurance works out for you. What a way to start your new life!! I think your little guy is the most handsome is a huge cyber snuggle for him (((snuggle))!!


Oh, poor Amy and Jason! And poor Ceiba! I hope she gets better soon. Don't worry, it will all work out, and you'll have a great story to tell Noah when he gets older ("See, the first night we had you home, um, we actually had to go to the vet's, because of Ceiba.").


I'm sorry about Ceiba. ; ; She's probably just a lil jealous. =)

Beautiful baby boy, though. He's simply beautiful!


who would hit and run in a HOSPITAL PARKING LOT? Man, that is just not right.


They have pet insurance? Our dog was hit by a car the same month we bought our house (which was also the same month I conceived Captain Destructo) and the hip replacement surgery only cost us around $1,000. Vet prices must be muy expensive up there!

Hope Ceiba gets better son!


So sorry about Ceiba! I hope the surgery goes well! Glad to hear your beautiful baby is doing well:)


Oh no! Poor baby Ceiba! I – being part of the Internet – totally understand. My husband and I were a mess last year when our baby (rabbit) was sick. Ceiba will be OK and she won't remember you yelled at her. Animals are cool like that.

But you have a perfect baby, which helps!


Oh my goodness. Poor Ceiba.

I think you handled yourself really well, as I would probably not do that well now and I have not recently given birth.

Busy Mom

Noah is beautiful and I hope Ceiba heals very quickly. So sorry you had to go through that stress right after coming home!


Poor Ceiba! I hope she heals quickly and doesn't carry a grudge.

Noah is Too Damn Adorable. Seriously, what a cute baby.


poor wee amalah family! all will be well soon. this is the hardest part. and don't fret about the boy's loss of weight, he will get it back and your boobs will know just exactly what to do to make it happen. thank god you have the dog insurance!


Awwwww, poor baby doggie! Extra treats for Ceiba!

What does the kitty think of all this commotion in her domain?


You poor thing!!! My goldfish died earlier this year and I felt horrible afterwards... Did I not add enough fish solution stuff??? Was the water to cold/warm??? My husband thought I was nuts. Try not to feel too guilty and remember that Ceiba will not remember what happened :)


You know Ceiba did it on purpose as a desperate plea for attention, right?


Both Noah and Ceiba are lucky to have such good parents!

Everyone is commenting on Noah's toes, but for me it's the cheeks in that second picture! I just want to smooooch them!


Oh my gosh, it just never stops for you. How
sad, I'm sorry, but that is the prettiest baby boy I have ever seen; besides my own 3 children of course.


Holy Cow! He Is Beautiful.

So sorry about your vet experience. Dogs are drawn to the smell of babies and boob milk and babies barfing boob milk. I took care of a friend's baby once who proceeded to spit up a little of said boob barf - like a quarter-sized dollop - and when I got home, my dog smelled it before she smelled me.

I suggest some sort of protective, bouncy frame for Ceiba.


STAY HOME. Because, crap, woman, that is one messed up week.


I meant to add in my comment: Ill-fitting nursing bra? Visible nursing pads? I can totally relate. At least you had the presence of mind to use the pads, or you could have been standing there sobbing AND leaking, and wouldn't that have been just swell?


Aw, honey. It will be okay.

P.S. Cute baby! Where'd you get him?


awww..I read the notify list and thought 'wow her kid acted like the hospital was the place to be and screamed his head off all night just like mine the first night we got him home'

and now I feel very guilty, because..ow..poor Ceiba. Poor poor Ceiba


Babies generally lose weight after they're born-nothing to worry about, and probably has nothing to do with your milk or your breasts.

Poor Ceiba! Poor you! Don't blame yourself, Amy! Accidents happen.


What a night! So sorry to hear of all the trauma. I hope all four of you are home sleeping right now! (I'm assuming Max is.)

I am so glad that your mom was sweet and soothing to you when you called. That's the sort of thing I don't call my mom about because she would tell me to "calm down." : / Yay for Comfort Mom.

Sending good wishes and vibes y'all's way from Capitol Hill (well, C and 6th NE, where I should be working instead of reading your cool blog).


Bless your heart!!! Am thinking about you and your family. Hope you and Ceiba both have speedy recoveries. I so want to reach through my computer screen and hold Noah and kiss those cheeks b/c OMG those cheeks are awesome! My daughter had cheeks like that and I still can't get enough of them!


look at that first photo! look at the little munchkin! eeee!!

was that big ben i heard? oh, no, sorry. that was just the bell tower ringing in my biological clock.


Little Noah is babylicious! If my boyfriend didn't have a seven-and-a-half month old niece for me to spoil, my baby fever would burn me alive.


No pooping since Thursday! I totally relate to that... no, no babies or pregnancy here. Just irritable, irritable bowels, no matter how much fruit I eat. Papaya Enzymes work really well (they're chewable and taste a little bit like Sweet Tarts). If someone calls you and says, "Do you need anything?" In your best Queen of Everything Voice say, "Yes please, could you stop by the health food store and pick up some Papaya Enzyme and 3 grand so I can pay my vet bill? Kay, thanks."

The hospital may have security footage of your car being plowed into... maybe you can revenge yourself by reporting a hit and run.

You are doing great Momalah! You totally handled the dog crises. If you can handle that while constipated and recovering from a c-section, you can handle ANYTHING.


OK, here's the plan... submit the bill for the dog costs AS IF the accident happened to the baby, 'cause really, who has DOG HEALTH INSURANCE, right? Of course, you might have child services at your door shortly after so it may not be optimal in that sense, but I'm trying to save you three thousand bucks, right?

Oh, what a mess. Like you need this with a new baby. OK, forget my assvice (it was only meant to try and get a smile and probably failed miserably at that anyway).

As for giving birth to a 2 month old, yeah, I had one that was 9 and a half pounds and couldn't even wear the cute three thousand dollar going-home ENSEMBLE I had bought from Gymboree. My husband said I should have smoked during pregnancy to keep the birth weight down (yes, I know how terribly politically incorrect THAT joke is but I'm all about making bad jokes and then getting people up in arms over them).

Anyway, congrats on the baby boy. He's BE-YUTE-EE-FUL. Enjoy every inch, er, pound of him...


Amy!! Oh No!

I think you have made up anything you feel guilty about to Ceiba as you GOT UP AND OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH A NEW BABY to take Ceiba to the vet --- that could have just been something Jason did while you stayed home. But you're such a good mommy - good for you!

All will be fine - it's not your fault.

Noah is scrump-dilly-icious!!!

KISSESS from ONTARIO CANADA to the wee baby!!!!!!

Sarcastic Journalist

Awww, gah I know how you feel. Just pop a couple of those percocets (or however you spell it) and try to sleep. And, of course, kiss that adorable baby for all of us. You're making me excited that I'm having a boy!


Delurking to say what a beautiful baby!! Sorry about the furbaby, hope he will be okay.
One little thing you said (about pooping after a C-section)reminded me of something. Owww! That was the most painful part--that first BM. Took me a week and lots of "tries". My husband totally sympathized because he had gone through the same thing after major surgery the year before. So, FINALLY, I am able to go. I come out of the bathroom grinning from ear to ear (ah! relief!) and said, "Well, I have good news and bad news." Husband says, "I know what the good news is, what is the bad news?" I said, "I clogged the toilet."
My nosy 9 y.o. daughter says, "But what is the good news?" My husband gets his "that's none of your business" look on his face, but I interrupted and smiled really big and said, "Mommy made a poopy!!" The horrified look on my daughter's face was absolutely classic! She just could not believe that I had said that.


Poor puppy! Hormones are a bitch, without baby-doggy problems! Noah makes it all ok though, doesn't he!?! xoxo


Poor thing!! It will get better! :( It took about a week for our animals to get used to the baby. Our lab just shook like crazy. He was SO nervous. Luckily my FIL is like the Dog Whisperer and fixed him.

My cat jumped in the crib and hissed at the baby and talk about freaking me out! She only did it once and she was done. They are best friends now.

Both my babies were 10+ pounders. You will LOVE having a big baby!! His wittle toes are just perfect!

It will get better hun!


Oh, poor little Ceiba!! And poor you for having to deal with so! much! drama! on Noah's first night home. Anytime you need a babysitter/mother's helper, don't forget to recruit from among your loyal local fans!

Lisa Ann

Hope Ceiba feels better soon. And the baby? What an angel!


RE: pooping issue

Oh gosh! I can't believe the hospital let you leave without pooping! Have you tried pericolase yet? That's what the gave me at the hospital and I took it for two weeks after because my body got all sorts of messed up after giving birth.

Poor Ceiba! I hope all goes well.


I'm glad that everything with Noah is okay, but poor Ceiba!
If it's any consolation, my friend's dog broke his leg because he's so hyper and when he went after a tennis ball he landed on his leg wrong and fractured it. He healed very quickly and actually looked really cute in his cast.

I'll keep Ceiba in my thoughts and hope for a speedy recovery!


Like you needed some excitement in your life! I thought it was bad that the first day my husband went back to work after our son was born, I walked downstairs to find about a million ants all over the kitchen. My husband looked at the ants, and said "Well, see you later." And took off!It sounds like Ceiba going to be good though. She will look kind of funny in her casts though.


wow. so sorry for baby ceiba. i would completely freak the hell out. little wee puppies with little wee legs...sheesh.

i hope the next night goes much much much MUCH better. it will. noah looks like a precious angel.

p.s. now i am all freaked out about the pet insurance. damn.


Discovered your blog a week ago and am hooked (I'm 8 months preggo with my second, so I can totally relate!).

First, congrats! Your son is exquisite.

I'm sorry your furry baby was hurt. :( Good for you for knowing about pet insurance and getting it. I was a Vet Asst. in my prior life and used to encourage our clients Moms & Dads to get it b/c pets get into the damndest predicaments. From what I remember, most companies covered injuries such as Ceiba's.

I breastfed my son and he lost a pound the first week. The hospital pediatrician was freaking out about it, but my OB's midwife told me not to worry - babies lose 10% of their birth weight the first week. The best advice I can pass on when it comes to nursing (which I know you are just DYING for from a complete stranger) is FEED ON DEMAND. I forgot that little tidbit from my breastfeeding books which complicated my nursing experience. Lasinoh cream saved my nips for the first couple of weeks but they soon toughened up and I didn't need it anymore. A little breastmilk rubbed on them (and then left to air dry) helped a lot too!

Try not to worry. Get plenty of sleep. Enjoy your little bundle and let the rest take care of itself. Congratulations again!


Oh man. You've probably had enough excitement for, say, the next 5 years. Pool lil Cebia. At least dogs don't hold grudges ;)
Once again, b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l baby!!! The pictures just keep getting cuter. My husbands about to take my laptop away cause I keep telling him "I want one honey, puleeezze, puleezze..."

Joke Aerts

Ceibalah feel better!

Amy, it'll be ok. We understand. You and Jason are wonderful. You are so on top of things. You are taking care of Perfect Noah, you are getting Ceiba the care she needs, you are even on top pf the car situation. It will be ok. It will be ok!

Also, you are way prettier than britney spears.


Everything you mention is completely understandable (and admirable, because you're handling things so well). Except for one thing: A PONYTAIL A LA BRITNEY SPEARS?! Oh. My. God. That's almost unforgivable. Next time just leave the matted hair down - a la Whoopi Goldberg. Much better.

Your baby is so damned gorgeous that I want to reach into the computer and eat up those cheeks.


Oooh, that so sucks. :-( Poor little Ceiba and Ceiba's leg. I hope she feels better soon.

OK, the first postpartum poop is all about the anticipation. I had stitches you know, near there, and I was so nervous about it. Yea, it kind of wasn't the best poop ever, but once I got it over with I felt SO much better. Good luck with that!


super cute story!


OMG! Congrats on the baby. He is gorgeous. I hope you have someone helping you this week, with all of these misadventures, something else is bound to happen before the week is over. Don't forget to record it in Noah's baby book as well. Blogging is great for now, but the book you can whip out anytime to share these loving first days. Glad to hear that he is healthy, good luck to Ceiba (poor thing!) and here's to a speedy recovery for you, cuz jeez girl, you had a 10 POUND baby. God bless ya.


Poor Ceibalah! I'm sorry all these things piled on top of you at once, but little Noah must make everything seem so much brighter :) Those cheeks, the nose, gah! Ze child, 'e ees beeyootiful!

That baby is so cute that he justifies becoming that woman who talks about her baby all the time :)


I was not able to get online ALL MORNING. And I just knew I was missing new pictures of little Noah. I had no idea what else I was missing. Poor Ceiba. Just hearing about it breaks my heart. I don't know what I would do if my kitty got hurt. Good luck!!


Aw sweetie, I'm sorry! That just sucks.

I'm sure the poor thing will be better soon, and she knows you love her. She just needs a quick lesson in elementary physics. Take care, and get some rest!


Awww. You poor girl. Hang in there!


Welcome to the world, Noah! It's kind of mixed-up and seems scary, but there is amazing beauty and adventure and challenges just waiting for you to explore! Tell your mommy to make sure the doctor gave her a refillable prescription for Ducosate Sodium, 250mg--it will help a lot with the constipation! Also tell her that she is doing a great job . . . Everyone is crazy out of their mind the first three months, and that she could even walk after having you is an amazing feat of Herculean motherhood. The five of you will be just fine . . . And Thad, ThadsMom and ThadsDad are praying for you!


Poor poor Doggy! I'm so sorry! Our biggest fiasco out first night home was that we could not open the pack-n-play (turned out it was broken) and then I cried because I left that lovely squirt bottle for my business at the hospital. I made my Mother drive back and get me another one!

Pericolace - that and Gas-X are two things you need right now (besides Vicodin or Percocet!) Hugs! Ceiba breaking her leg does not make you a bad Mommy - accidents happen!


ooohhh poor Amy and poor Ceiba and poor Jason. I'm glad you all have each other to love when crappy accidents happen like this.

Noah... is beautiful.

Sorry about the pooping, or lack thereof. That's the worst feeling ever.


don't forget to write all this down in his baby book!!

Melissa L

Your baby is beautiful! So sorry about your dog.
Right after I had our third baby I accidentally stepped on our Shih Tzu's paw and broke it! So it was three kids, a sobbing hormonal mommy and a tiny limping dog at the vet. Not pretty. Our dog recovered and all was well but it was not the way I planned to spend the 2nd day after having a baby. Kisses to you all! Melissa


Oh...poor furry baby. Other than the obvious how are the other kids doing with the adjustment? (which, by the way...are doggie cast pictures forthcoming because DAMN that must be one wee little cast)


that maternal gong brought on by previous post soo gone now-no pooping, breast pads...
it's a wonder we procreate.

sorry your night was crappy


I love that Jason was carrying Noah, and you were carrying Ceiba. That's just so totally sweet.

You're an excellent mom. Ceiba will heal.

Hugging you mightily.


What a beautiful baby, wow...
and the other things: Oh, my dear...
I remember of not being able to poop for some days after my c-section. It is tough (and not just literally speaking)
And re: nursing pads...uh...I wore those too in the first few weeks...well, not the best memories and not the most comfortable parts of a woman's wardrobe, but come very handy.

Bonanza Jellybean

HELLO... this was a puppy plot to regain your attention from the little upstart you brought home. Dogs are VERY devious like that, so don't feel too bad.

And I worked at a vet for a while, and a clean break is not as bad as when it's all irregular- she should heal pretty quickly- while she's gloating about getting so much love and attention while being nursed back to health.


poor puppy-baby. This too shall pass!

Meanwhile, that is a VERY alert baby you have there - in every picture but one thus far he's had his little eyes opened :)



Poor Ceiba! If anything happened to my very small dog, I'm fairly certain I'd just die on the spot and be of no use to anyone. I'm glad she's going to be okay. And Noah is so lovely and his tiny baby feet are perfectly edible!

RockStar Mommy

God, I LOVE his nose!

My son has the same cheeks and chicken legs and I'm so in love!

Sorry about the stressful first night home and I hope the poor puppy is bouncing around again really soon!!





Like you needed that drama the first night home. But WOW how awesome are you that you were able to take Ceiba yourself a mere days after major abdominal surgery.

The pic of Noah in his crib in the little baby-propper-upper-thingy is so cute I have to know how you do not just want to eat him!!!


You know, "they" say that the bigger the baby, the more weight they tend to lose after birth....

Whoever "they" are anyways...


Aww! Poor Ceiba! I can understand how you feel, I would probably impale myself on the allmighty spike of guilt if something similar happened to my "baby".

And yay for more pics!

Seriously girl, you've had more than your share. Hear that God? Give poor Amalah a freaking break!


Oh, your poor puppy! All my best wishes for a speedy recovery.


Percoset will make your stools hard and harder to pass, I suggest calling your doc, NOW, before you have to go to the hospital and get your anus dilated so you can pass a brick hard stool (that's a worse case scene)


Percoset will make your stools hard and harder to pass, I suggest calling your doc, NOW, before you have to go to the hospital and get your anus dilated so you can pass a brick hard stool (that's a worse case scene)

Sorry for the assvice!

Wacky Mommy

kisses on the nose to Ceiba. and don't worry about the breasts, they'll catch up. Oh, will they catch up...


I'm a luker, but I have to tell you I have a 6th month old and the our first night home was the worst night ever. (Not as bad as yours) but the baby cried all night. I have talked to other moms and they all said, your first night home is the worst night ever. It gets better and easier. Good luck!

P.S. We have a dog and he got used to the lack of attention.


Wow, the only thing that happened when I brought my last baby home from the hospital was that his 3 yr old brother took one look at the new family member and peed all over the floor.

Poor, poor Ceiba. I hope she feels better real soon. And you hang in there too.

I keep coming back to look at the pictures of Noah because he is SO incredibly sweet.


i felt your pain when you mentioned the part about someone backing into your car in the labor and delivery parking lot, the same thing happened to me when i had my first sucked so bad, my husband was looking over security tapes at the hospital to see if we could see a tag or something, but it was to no avail...we ended up having it repaired ourselves


oh my god, with the emergency c-section and the hit car and the broken dog.
the stress!
it's killing me.
please send percoset.
okay, i know it's not funny.
hang in there, new momalah.


You know that lots of crying it completely normal when you're bringing home a baby for the first time, right? (Yeah, you probably do). It's an amazing, wonderful, awesome (in the true meaning of the word) and highly stressful experience, even without dealing with furry baby emergencies. All that conspires to make a new mom feel crazy and happy and sad and everything all at once.

Also, I just saw ad ad for these new nursing pads that are made out of silicone (!), are completely reusable, and don't have that beautiful "Hello, I'm wearing a Diaper under my bra!" look. I'm trying them out for my impending second child. Thought that might peak your girly interest.

Congrats on Noah, and here's to quick recoveries for you and Ciba!


The beautiful part of all this is, Ceiba will blame the bouncy seat for her accident, not you.

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