Today's Smackdown comes with a warning: The sleep deprivation thing has hit me SO MOTHERFUCKING HARD. Would you like to know how hard?
This hard: Yesterday I decided to go to one of those Reel Moms movie screenings. I decided to see Walk the Line. I decided to see it in Virginia.
Except: I did not correctly read the location of the theater and assumed it was playing at this one mall in Tyson's Corner called the Galleria.
Except: The mall I first went to? Was NOT the Galleria. So I got back in the car and drove to the Galleria.
Except: The Galleria does not even have a movie theater.
After another REALLY CONFUSED phone call to Jason, I asked him to look up the Reel Moms page on Lowe's website and tell me where in hell this fucking theater is, and hurry up, it's pouring down rain. And I may have cursed a little more than that, as I loaded the carseat back in the car and folded up the stroller for literally the FIFTH TIME IN A HALF HOUR.
The theater was not even in a mall. Why did I think it was in a mall? Well, because I was driving to the SUBURBS. All movie theaters are in malls in the suburbs, right? It's like, a zoning thing maybe?
No. Theater was somewhere else. I had two minutes to get there. And as I was making a very wrong and stupid left turn when I needed to go right, my phone rang again.
Jason: You know...Walk the Line isn't even PLAYING at that theater anyway.
Jason: Yeah, it's Yours, Mine & Ours.
Amy: FUCK THIS, I'm GOING HOME.
Now, Internet. I beg you. Go to this webpage and see how SO TOTALLY NOT COMPLICATED THIS WAS. Theater names, addresses and even a PICTURE of the MOVIE THAT IS PLAYING. Do you see anything about the Tyson's Galleria? Do you even SEE THE WORD GALLERIA ON THAT PAGE?
You do not, because I was hallucinating the whole blessed thing.
Jason: Why didn't you just go to Georgetown? It was definitely playing in Georgetown.
Amy: (wails, is totally lost in the suburbs) I DON'T KNOW. POSSIBLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PARALLEL PARKING.
Next Tuesday: I'm going to Georgetown! Hopefully I won't have to parallel park.
Today: Advice! Which you really shouldn't listen to.
I feel like I know you because I am a frequent reader, and had to get some advice on this.. I am having a baby boy(!) at the end of January, and am plagued with worry that something will happen to him! (It has been a long and bumpy road to have this baby.) I bought a crib mattress at a garage sale, and would have been more than happy to use it, until I read a website that said that used mattresses grow fungus which gives off toxic fumes that kill your baby!
So I gave the mattress away and am in the market for a new one. I discovered the Halo Active Airflow crib mattress, which is a really high tech mattress (and expensive) to keep your baby alive. My husband has given in to my paranoia, and has agreed to buy this mattress if we REALLY need it. What kind of crib mattress did you buy? Should we give in to the high-tech mattress?
P.S. Although I could talk him into the $200 mattress, I could not talk him into the Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag. Ugh, men.
Honestly, I'm having a hard time thinking of something that's a BIGGER waste of money than a super-expensive, high-tech crib mattress. Maybe designer label baby clothes...or that dumb white noise machine thing we bought, but at least that was only $30, and we've had some nice moments freaking each other out with the creepy-sounding "womb" setting.
But seriously, you don't need that mattress. I fed my SIDS paranoia with the Halo SleepSacks and a sleep positioner, both of which I abandoned after a few weeks, because 1) duh, a nice fleecy set of footie pajamas works just as well, with the added benefit of having ARMS, and 2) Noah never, ever slept in his crib.
Sure, he'd take a catnap in there occasionally, but at night he slept in his Pack N' Play in our room. Which has no mattress to even speak of, and yet he's alive and well.
And then he destroyed my whole anti-Attachment Parenting attitude by sleeping with us, in our bed.
Three fitful hours of sleep in the bassinet vs. six glorious hours curled up with us? What would you do?
And yes, I know all the drawbacks of co-sleeping -- I used to preach them myself -- and I've seen the study linking co-sleeping to SIDs and blah blah blah. We're very careful. And very happy. And very much planning to move him down to his actual crib once he's sleeping through the night.
(His actual crib, by the way, has the Serta Perfect Sleeper mattress, along with a really good waterproof mattress pad, and silly expensive bedding, but at least I recognize that the bedding is 100% for my benefit.)
Anyway, my point is: be prepared to adapt in ways you never thought possible. Ways that will probably save you 200 bucks on a gimmicky mattress.
More questions to come, but I have to go put Noah down for an unattended nap in the laundry basket, surrounded by loose blankets washed in undiluted Clorox, with perhaps a dryer sheet to suck on.
I have two questions for you, since you know everything. One is baby related, and one is advice smackdown related.
First, I love the baby blanket you've been photographing Noah on - the blue one with what looks like xoxo crocheted into it. Is it hand crocheted? If so, do you happen to know where I can get the pattern?
Second, I am in desperate need of handbag help. I am a graduate student, with a very limited budget, but I really, really want to get a nice, supple leather handbag. I can't afford to get a new one every season, so I'd like to get something black, and timeless, and big enough to hold stuff but not a honkin' grandma-size bag. Oh, and I want it all for under $300. Can you, in your infinite wisdom, suggest something that fits the bill?
Okay, the beautiful blue blanket: It was a gift from fellow blogger Bethiclaus. I'm sure she could help you find the pattern, although be patient and gentle, for she is now pregnant.
(And let me use this opportunity to showcase two other handmade knitty/crochety gifts from readers: another lovely little blanket from MamaKaren, and an absolutely delicious little hat and bootie set from Isabel.)
(Isabel is pregnant now too. Coincidence?)
(Watch out, Karen!)
Could you not just EAT HIM?
ANYWAY. On to the purse talk.
I have this one, from Coach, which comes in at just three dollars under your limit, so it counts. Its lovely, soft and classic with just a few touches (the contrast stitching and silver hardware) that make it not totally and completely boring, like this one. Yawn.
But there are so many brands and shapes and just all-around lovely bags out there, and I fully admit my brand loyalty to Coach is irrational and probably sick. Check out Nordstrom.com and go to their handbags section -- you can select from several categories of bags and then refine your search by color. Ta-da! Lots of choices, without being completely overwhelming and littered with crap bags. Here's a selection of leather bags that come in black.
My friend Isabel and I have a question for you. We recently have stumbled across… well, let's just call it "unanswered blog etiquette". As an experienced blogger, we turn to you for advice.
Isabel recently found a blog of a high school friend of hers. She thinks its hilarious and will continue to lurk. Which I totally understand because if I find someone's journal? I will totally read it. In secret. But this is the blog world – in all its weird secret yet public state. So my comment to Isabel was, she should "out" herself to her friend. Let her know she found the blog, you know? But… now I am not so sure anymore. And neither is Isabel!
So – what does blogging etiquette say? What do you say? When you stumble across the blog of someone you know (especially if you get the feeling they would probably be weirded out if you were reading it) – do you let them know you found them?
I would want to know. Of course, with my fool name and photo plastered all over the place, I have to generally assume that people I know are already reading.
A few people from high school and college have contacted me after finding the site, and (so far) I've been thrilled to hear from all of them. One of them even has a blog.
But I'm probably different than a lot of bloggers, since I'm not anonymous. If I was, perhaps it would unnerve me to have high school classmates coming out of the woodwork. Perhaps it would be the reminder I needed that anonymity on the Internet is never guaranteed and that maybe I should be more careful if I really and truly didn't want to be recognized.
If I found the site of someone I knew? I probably would email them and be all, "Hey! Hi! Remember me? I have a website too!"
If it was someone I hated? Well, I might not. I might just lurk and make fun of them, because I'm a bitch. Or I might email them and be all, "Hey! Hi! Remember me? You made my life hell in junior high and now my website gets more hits than yours!"
Because again, am a bitch. And also petty and small.
The proper etiquette is to out yourself. But blog etiquette is, in general, a subjective mess.
If this blogger was actually your friend, then I'd say you should do the right thing and out yourself.
If this is someone who you maybe kind of don't like and maybe get some small enjoyment from reading their pathetic little scribblings, well, it's your karma and you can be a bitch if you want to and will get no judgment from me.
Got a question? Was I mean to you in junior high? email@example.com, losers.