Wednesday Advice Smackdown
Life, Such As It Is

Enough Baby Pictures to Melt the Entire Internet

Hey y'all, Noah here. My mom's still sick, so she asked me to write today's entry. Which means lots of pictures of me, because Wednesday's post didn't have ANY, and WHAT IS UP WITH THAT, MOM?

Honestly. It's like she thinks people come to this stupid website to READ or something.

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I know, right? My mom is funny.

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But she is no match for me and my hilarious turtle faces.

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Look! Am squirrel! Haaaaa!

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And here I am doing my best impression of a post-collagen-injection Melanie Griffith.

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But you know, I am more than just a edible bundle of snuggly deliciousness.

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I actually have many important opinions.

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Like I am strongly opposed to the continued career of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

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And I think the world needs more baby smiles.

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I mean, really. Don't you feel better already?

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CEIBA! SAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYBaAAAAAA! PUPPY STILL HERE BITCHES! STILL CUTE TOO! LOOK HOW CUTE! LEG IS OKAY! COST PEOPLE LOTS OF DOLLARS! SERVES THEM RIGHT FOR BRINGING HOME SMELLY FARTY BABY!

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Heh. Sorry about that. That silly dog-thing is just jealous. The big cat-thing loves me though, and one time? Smacked the dog-thing CLEAR ACROSS THE ROOM when she almost jumped on top of me on the couch by accident. Cat-thing was all, "Don't jump on the baby!" Dog-thing was all, "Huh?" Mom was all, "HA!" And I was all, "Poop?"

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Anyway, this is boring, and I'm tired, and my mom says this whole thing is kind of lame, like, what's next? An entire post from the vantage point of the cat?  Narration by Amy's boobs? Entries written under the influence of Robitussin and Theraflu?

(Shit. Probably too late on that last one.)

Comments

Lynn

Wonderful entry - Beautiful baby Noah...Feel better soon, ok?

AnotherAmy

Very intertaining! Noah is still the most adorable baby ever.

Jessie

I didn't think it was possible for him to get any cuter after seeing his first pictures, but he has gotten incredibly more cute. Still love the words you put in Noah's mouth! They are so dead on and hillarious. I second his opinion about Jennifer Love Hewitt

Prat

Made me smile. Thanks !

Nicole

Noah looks like a little man already! He is going to be a heart-throb.

(I cannot beleive I just typed that word)

Isabel

Get thee to an agent. That kid needs to be in the pictures. He's ready for the big time.

*hooray for cute baby pictures*

Janet

I think Noah looks like Jason from the nose up and you from the nose down.

Seems like he is feeling better! Hope you will be soon, too.

MK

Oh I absolutely love it! It is amazing how big he is now! Thank you for all the great pics and you did make me laugh!

LCA

The turtle faces! I've always thought that's what they look like, and I think turtles are adorable and I think Noah is adoarble, so how can you go wrong? But damn...he really is cute.

Also, Amalah, I was looking back at your photo archives (why? Because it's Friday and I'm at work, of course!) and in that post where you scanned in Amalah Through the Ages, the baby pic of you looks so much like Noah. I mean, I'm sure you know that. But it had to be said.

Kathryn

Amalah? How do you keep from eating that child every damn day? I mean, don't you just want to devour him, bit by chubby bit??? Mmm...

scoutsadie

Thank you for adorableness in picture form. The squirrel face is my favorite, I think.

Hope you feel better soon! At least you don't have to go out into the snowy-slushy mess that is DC today and can just appreciate the sunshine from indoors.

Take care of your mamalah, little ones!

Heather

He's got a very expressive face! Thanks for sharing the cuteness.

Ali G

love the captions! are you saving this material for noah's baby albums?

feel better...

goldmoon

Ahhhhh, how cute. He really is an adorable baby. And I don't say that lightly. Because a lot of babies are UGLY.

Real Girl

Ach, it's the mouth, that mobile little mouth of his that does it.

I must stop scrunching my brow in a permanent expression of "AWWWW"--because if I get wrinkles from it I am fully blaming you and your Spawn of Cuteness.

Bitches.

ktbug

Two words. Perfect. Post.

Nancy

Boy, that Noah gets more talented every day. Had no idea he was such a great writer! (not to mention just too cute.)

Manda

awww, yay for a post by the Noahlah! :)

Kestrel

I do feel better! This post brought a big smile to my face.

And I think an entire post from the vantage point of your cat would be awesome. Awesome.

paige

Dear Noah,
You? Cutest thing going. Your post? Not at all lame or boring. So so so cute and totally makes up for the pictureless smackdown. Which, the smackdown? Awesome as ever. The lack of pictures? So not funny. Let mommy know.

Terry

Maybe I'm just whacked, but I could read posts from Noah's viewpoint, complete with ADORABLE pics, every day of the week. Noah, you rock!

Weirdo that I am, I could see myself totally enjoying a narration from your Mom's boobs. But I'm sick that way.

Thanks for making my days you two!

Alegria

Lovely, lovely, lovely!!! :))

PaintingChef

Awww...was that baby's first profanity we witnessed? You must be BEAMING with pride.

What a cutie. Ovaries. Hurting.

Maria

OMG woman! Even with flu you are still brilliantly entertaining! Love Noah. He is sooo adorable.

lolismum

He is delicious. Eat him up for me. At least a small bite on the back of the neck. Best baby meat.

VHMPrincess

Oh my god, the cuteness is UNBEARABLE, it is amazing!

sarah

He looks like a little MAN...Bob from Quiznos better have good job secuity written into his benefits!

kentucky_kitty

My fave? The sixth picture ("I actually have very important opinions"). He is just a doll! I can't stand how cute he is!!

I also vote for the post written entirely by Max. You KNOW he's got opinions that are very important!

Wacky Mommy

Have the breasts narrate! The breasts! I cannot believe how cute that little guy is. When people say, "All babies are cute," they are lying. Cuz some are just homely, God love their ugly little selves. Noah, you gorgeous boy, you made my week.

drea

the world really needs more baby pictures. it would make everything better.

and now i need to have a child.

JenfromBoston

Those were awesome! You're kid is SO damn expressive. I have never seen anything like it before. Seriously, it's like he does have a lot of thoughts going on up there like, "Mom, but her (JLH) career really IS ridiculous" and "hmmm, lemme get back to you on that one."

thanks for that laugh- he is so damn adorbale.

Kelli

Love it. You totally cheered me up.

deb

OHMYYYYYYGOOOOOODDDDDDDDD
!!!!!!!!!!

I love the baby picture posts.

I love the "this is so not a fuckin' mommy blog" posts.

I love it all.

You rock. Even on OTC cold meds (especially?)

Jazzy

He is absolutely adorable and those faces!

the village idiot

It's my wife's contention that Jennifer Love Hewitt's bangs will bring that show down all by their lonesome, so your astute observations with regard to that concern will no doubt soon be rendered moot.

So, Baby Noah, while we're on the topic of pop cultural frippery, how do you feel about the concept of a rapper trapped in a closet for thirty or forty short musical vignettes? I'm in negotiation with Todd Bridges, who swears he can rap, to do a stream of consciousness Hip-Hopera entitled "Trapped in a Closet, but a different Closet than RKelly's" Think it has legs?

Let me know,
the idiot


Julie

So. Unbelievably. Cute. I am especially fond of the turtle face.

Rocky

He get cuter and cuter with each and every day! Lucky mom, you are. :)

diane

The important opinions and Melanie Griffiths poses are unbelievably cute (and the captions wonderfully funny).

Contrary to your mother's opinion, Noah, this was not a lame post at all. We LOVE the baby smiles and you have an adorably expressive face.

Tell mommy to get better, and that you have taken over the blog writing now.

diane

The important opinions and Melanie Griffiths poses are unbelievably cute (and the captions wonderfully funny). And you look like you're going to punch someone in that picture after the dog-thing!

Contrary to your mother's opinion, Noah, this was not a lame post at all. We LOVE the baby smiles and you have an adorably expressive face.

Tell mommy to get better, and that you have taken over the blog writing now.

Silly Hily

Noah-you are hilarious!!! Just like your mom! You are looking so grown up.

mappyb

How is it possible that you have 40 comments already, just three hours after your post!!!?!?! People LOVE them some Noah! He is adorable! Of course that's not saying anything that people already have. But man. I love how he's just loungin' on the bed, in a fighting position in the 2nd to last pic. Thanks!

Sabrina

I'll be post 41! I loved this post! How cute!! Love that little turle face! So Sweet!

Laura

What keeps you from not holding him 100% of the time. Noah is so adorable. Hope you feel better soon.

Tiffany

Love this entry. You have taken some wonderful candid shots, he is just handsome.

Sheryl

Hee, these captions are hilarious!

Cagey

Narration by Amy's boobs would be a good one!

The turtle comment was too funny - that is exactly what I think of everytime I put my own kid down for tummy time and he starts reaching out his neck, then starts swaying his head back and forth - just like a freakin' turtle. Of course, a turtle doesn't get a goofy, proud smile on HIS face, but hey - there's a reason why we give birth to BABIES and not turtles, eh?

Peyton

OK, that was the cutest freakin' post ever!! Made me smile big. Thanks, Noah!!

Anne Glamore

You're right-- he DOES look like Yertle the Turtle in the 2nd picture, which is totally a compliment in my world.

Smart mom with the cloth diaper ever present to prevent nasty burps from soiling the covers... They're cute , those kids, but unpredictably regurgitable. (if that's a word).

kate

noah could not be any cuter.

feel better amy!

Arwen

So cute! I love this post.

wordgirl

That kid needs his own talk show.

ireann

I, too, am against the continued career of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Noah. Good call, good call.

bethgirl

he is such a little man! I love it!

Also, you are funny even when you are deathly ill. That's something to be proud of.

ambrosia

adorable.

and i was kinda sad that there were no pics in the smackdown.

zambonigirl

Noah is so cute. I miss seeing the kitty, though. Could you possibly see clear to post a few kitty pictures? Please? Don't make me bring out the big guns of "My cat died in September and I'm really feeling kitty love right now", because I will! I mean it!

Melanie

Noah:
Tell your mother this needs to be a photoblog all about YOU YOU YOU. And she could throw in the occasional shot of the cat an dod, so they don't develop complete inferiority complexes.

Angela

Turtle face? Oh it's so damn cute. Noah is going to have girls swooning. Hope you kick the cold soon.

Lisa Ann

The internet? Is melting.

S. Faolan Wolf

Hope this doesn't sound weird but I think one of the reasons I say that your kid is so cute, (which I do not say about most babies because most babies look like wrinkled aliens and I do not ooh and aah over them even if the parents are standing right there, with wallett out, showing photos and expecting me to) is because your kid has a lot of character in his face.

Sometimes? In certain pictures? He looks...wise. Like his eyes have a deep, knowing look. Specifically there was on photo in one post about a week or so ago where he was sitting on someone's right leg and he looked reallllllly small but his expression looked so knowing. That's my favorite pic. (Sorry, too lazy to go look for the post.)

Get better soon, please. And yay!!!!! Ceiba!!!!!

Chris

Hey does this mean you'll be getting rid of Ceiba? And can I have her?

KIDDING! (for the people who read Amy's comments and do not understand sarcasm)

(unless of course, you really do want to get rid of the dog, and of which, I really would take her.)

Humor. Again.

Precious PRECIOUS baby. My God, does he look like you!

Kate The Great

He types very well for a two and a half month old ;)

Glad to hear Ceiba's leg is better =)
Get well soon Amalah!

Jodi

There is an article in glamour about women who blog. How come you (and Noah) are missing?

bird

Melanie Griffith cracked me up!

Helen

Ya know.... I DO feel better!
The world needs more baby smiles indeed.
Now... is there a way to hav emore baby smiles while avoiding an increase of teen sulks down the road?

Starbuck

Well, that has got to be one of your best entires, yet. Feel, better soon and be sure to let Noah fill in anytime!!

Franci

The opinion baring kid - incredibly cute!
Love the whole entry, though.
Keep the good photos coming!
He's such a nice baby!
Love the way you think he thinks!
Love small babies!
Love exlamation marks!

Laura

LOVE the turtle face. How cute is that?? So. Freaking. Cute.

lisa

What a cute little baby !!!!

You need to get sick more often ....just kidding !

mmf!

well, photoblogs are fine but i think we would all trickle away from here were it not for your WRITING SKILLZ and PERSONALITY. ahem.

Frema

The turtle face and the "I have many important opinion" face are my favorite!

Pam

As a matter of fact, I did need that smile today. As I'm upstairs locked in the office/guest room/Christmas gift storage room crying because of a horrible morning with my 3 year old son, said monster is locked in his booster seat in the middle of the kitchen with no toys to play with, staring at the Christmas tree he pulled over after peeing all over the bathroom so badly I had to throw an entire basket of magazines--and the basket--away. Noah is a cutie-pie and I long for the days when my own little monster wasn't mobile and destructive, even if all he did was scream all day.

Thanks for the smile :)

Spencer

I STILL cannot believe how cute your baby is. He makes the second cute baby I know. Actually that I have ever known, because let's face it, many babies are just not that cute.

YOURS!!! is so adorable I could eat him (with a little ranch dressing on the side)

Humor Girl

God you have the cutest kid ever!

catharina

Love. It.
More baby smiles for all!
It's what the world needs :)

Harper

I've really enjoyed watching and reading about Noah "growing up" through the photos and stories you post. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you feel better very soon!

RAS

Man, your kid is cute! I've got some baby blues of my own right now, and seeing these great munchkin photos is cheering me right up.

threelittlegirls

Longtime reading and fan here. This is your best entry ever. Great writer and mommy with adorable son!

Ashlie

laughing. laughing. laughing. crap. still laughing.

Y

Ha! I've been writing post like this since 2004. Aint nothing boring about 'em. They're funny and precious and it's SO FUN to put words in our babies mouths!

Jezer

Noah's got talent, oh, yes he does.

Lisa B

Still entertaining... As always. You are growing so fast Noah! Hope your mommy feels better soon.

Auntie Shano

OMG. You are just too cute. I must drive over RIGHT NOW, pinch your cheeks, give a hug and smooch and be on my way (much to do being half way across the country). But what a cute, cute, cutie! Job well done Mommy & Daddy!!!


Hope your Mommy feels better soon!
x's
Shano

Shano

And durn your Mommy for being so durn funny even though she's sick. Vr vr envious.

Jann

Ahh Noah, I could put you between two slices of bread! The "important opinions" shot? Best baby pic & caption I've ever seen. Could I order up a Noah clone, please?

Erin O'Brien

and you will blink your eyes and he will be awkwardly trying on tuxedos for prom.

yikes

tiffany

so, if you read this entry 3 times--you actually start to believe that noah is thinking these things.
you know that term 'old soul?'

noah radiates that.

he is cuter than my new coach purse, and also seems like he may be smarter than me.

look out, world!

Queenie

EEEE! Turtley baby faces make me glad I'm expecting my own. Fabulous entry, looks like Noah's going to have to blog in mommy's fingerprints!

MandyGirl

Love it!

Don't think we'll ever get tired of baby pics.

Feel better soon! :)

Sarah King

Even if this entry was a (little) lame I would completely forgive you for giving the internet so much cute Noah.

christie

oh how cute!!!!!!!!!

Jenn

"Puppy still here bitches!" Haaaaaaaaa!

Hope you're feeling better soon!

wordnerd

Noah, tell your mom to take it easy and get better -- we can live with baby pics for at least another few years. . . could you BE any more adorable?????

J

Oh my LORD, A. That turtle face. Definitely a keeper for when he brings his first girlfriend home to meet the parents.

me

Cute baby, but even cuter dog..is that a basinji? (ok I can't spell, but its a cute little puppy-wuppy)

warcrygirl

Wow, drink TheraFlu, succumb to the cute! Loved it!

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