I Don't Care, the Dress is Totally Worth the Hatemail
February 01, 2006
So you know what sucks about being a working parent?
THE WORKING PART.
Like, I am not allowed to just show up and collect paychecks while spending my day telling people about How Awesome Noah Is, I Mean Really Ridiculously Awesome, Look At These Pictures, Wait, Where Are You Going?
I am expected to WORK. BASTARDS.
The Wednesday Advice Smackdown has been demoted to the Friday Advice Smackdown, because today and tomorrow are going to suck, work-wise, and if the vending machine guy doesn't get here soon and restock the Cokes, I may have to kill someone. Hard.
Tonight we are going out for a nice dinner to mark the eight-year anniversary of our first date, mashed together with first anniversary of when we found out I was pregnant (January 23rd, by the way; would it kill you to send a card?) and also Valentine's Day.
We are combining celebrations to save our babysitter's sanity, because just wait until she sees the poops this solid-food-eating baby is producing these days. HA HA!
Also to save money.
Except for the part where I got so excited about our nice dinner out that I bought a new dress that cost as much as a week of daycare.
Oh yes. I did.
Between this and BlogHer, my savings account is very, very mad at me. "Why? Why do you abuse me?" my saving account cries. "I wanted to see you through retirement! I wanted to buy you a house with a yard! You went back to work so you could leave me to grow and compound in peace! These credit card statements, they burn! They buuuurn!"
And I spit on my savings account, because sometimes, you just need to be stupid and buy a dress that will make your husband ogle your boobs.
There. That is my advice for today: Impending financial ruin is no match for a flouncy out-of-season dress, so long as you also buy a sensible sweater wrap to cover your shoulders.
My boobs cannot handle all this ogling.
EDITED TO ADD THE MELTDOWN THAT I WAS TRYING TO PRETEND THAT I AM TOO COOL AND CAREFREE TO HAVE:
OH MY GOD, I am freaking out about this dress. This dress that Jason FORCED me to buy for myself as a you-survived-a-whole-month-at-work present, and it was honestly the cheapest dress in the store, so I had no sense of CONTEXT, and the numbers on the price tag did not really turn into actual dollar numbers until I was at the register handing over my credit card. And I looked at Jason with big, frightened eyes and whispered that the Internet is going to KILL ME, and he said fuck the Internet, you don't have to tell them about it, and yet here I am, telling the fucking Internet, because perhaps I subconsciously believe that I deserve to be punished.
I am totally returning the dress after work. And I'm going to ask for my refund in PENNIES, and I shall put all the pennies in my bathtub, and I shall sit on top of my bathtub of pennies with a shotgun and stare suspiciously at the bathtowels and rant about the government trying to steal my precious, precious pennies.
I'd say, "Keep the dress, Yo." But, a week of daycare? Hmm. That's a tough one.
Don't worry. The dinner will be lovely with or without forced boob-ogling. Although, surely you have something else in your closet that will feature said boobs in an appropriately salacious manner. No?
I had a dream last night that we were trying to resurrect the B&B and we couldn't because we couldn't find a baby character for Noah.
Pennies and a shotgun, in a bathtub = a mental image that is going to make me laugh at random, inappropriate times for the rest of the week.
NOOOO! Do not cave to the scary, judgy, crankypants internet people! Keep the dress! Jason wants you to have the dress. Clearly that trumps the scary, judgy, crankypants internet people. (Just post pictures of you wearing the pretty, pretty dress that shows off your boobs, so we can go find one like it that OUR husbands will force us to buy. Consider that a special service you're doing all of us. It will help with the guilt.)
But wait...where is a picture of this boob-ogling inspired dress? Must see.
Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do to feel good. Example: I'm going to eat the rest of the cupcakes from my daughter's birthday party because I'm depressed that my baby is now one year old!
Enjoy your date
Keep the dress. Who cares what anyone thinks. It's your life and your money and you can choose what to do with it. Look pretty! Get those boobs ogled!
Or, you know, take the dress back if that's what will make you happiest. I'm a shopping bulimic myself, so I know just how that goes.
Amalah with a case of buyer's remorse? What will happen next? For real, keep the dress and enjoy your night out. You deserve it.
I love your blog and check it religiously. And Noah? Totally nibblelicious.
Keep the dress I say. You do deserve a pamper me outfit every now and then. And, is ther anything better than your husband of 8 years STILL ogling your boobs?
Can we see a picture of the dress before you return it? Cuz it's hard for me to be properly judgmental when I haven't even seen what I'm judging. JOKE!!! Seriously, keep the dress -- and still post a picture. ;)
Hehehe. I'm too busying thinking about if you were sitting on a bathtub full of PANTIES because that is what it sounded like in my head when I read it and the 9 year old boy in me started giggling imaginging you guarding a tub full of PANTIES with a shotgun.
What were you saying?
Don't return the dress!!! If you do, you may turn into some version of my mother who never spent any money on herself when we were growing up. And where did that leave her? With the same hairstyle she got when my brother was a baby. Thirty-two years ago!!!
Unless it means you won't be able to feed your child, it is NOT selfish to spend money on something that makes you feel beautiful. Think of it this way--if you weren't combining these celebrations, you would have needed 3 dresses and even if they were all cheaper, it still would have added up to possibly more than this dress!
Keep the damn dress. It makes you look hot, and you totally deserve it. (Just, you know, don't buy one EVERY month, and you'll be fine.)
You need to spoil yourself sometimes.Ditch the guilt, you deserve it.
Aren't husbands that tell you to ignore your common sense from time to time wonderful? Even though you suspect that they are telling you that simply because they want to ogle your boobs?
I think you should post a picture of yourself in the dress and we will all vote for whether you keep it or return it.
I just got some really bad news, and that totally made me chortle like...like...well, like someone who chortles. Who chortles? What kind of word is "chortle," anyway?
Perhaps I need some pennies and a shotgun, too.
Athropologie has many pretty, pretty dresses I want, want, want... Maybe you can return the dress for a compromise one?
http://www.anthropologie.com/jump.jsp?itemID=317&itemType=CATEGORY&all=1
Dude. I totally forgot about the B&B. Now I'm giggling over THAT.
Okay, I feel so strongly about the dress that I'm officially de-lurking.
You must keep the dress. You deserve the dress. You need the dress. And the dress needs you.
(BTW, where did you get the dress and what does it look like, if I may ask? I am a total clothes and shoes--not so much bags or hair, though I still enjoy reading your bag advice/adventures in hairstyling--junkie.
I am a firm believer that clothes are very important for your well-being and mental health. Am a Big Proponent of Retail Therapy. Last week? When my boyfriend was out of town? I bought some fabulous purple pointy boots. Because I wanted to. And because I'm a grown-up now and have a paycheck to spend frivolously. I work hard for my money, and I deserve a shot in the armoire...
Also, to assuage feelings of guilt, you can simply wear the dress over and over, and it will literally work out to pennies per wear. Pennies. That's what I'm sayin'.
"this dress is totally worth the hatemail"
Girl, keep the damn dress! What happend between the title and the last part were you are returning?
keep it, 4 months after Noah and a month at work you deserve to feel beautiful!!!
Keep it! It will last forever! But, if you are not going to wear it with "I know I am a MILF" confidence then don't do it. What about the shoes? Need pictures.
You've gotta live sometimes. You work hard, you've survived a hell of a lot, and dammit, it's just a dress, not a Corvette or house in the Hamptons. Sometimes we need a little frivilous to get through the serious parts of life.
This is the arguement I give my fiance when I come home with a thirteen-dollar bottle of Alterna Moisturizing Glaze. "I know we're saving for a wedding, honey, but right now I'm SAVING MY HAIR."
Oh, boy. I know this is going to make me very, unpopular. But I am assuming that a week of daycare cost more that what I pay weekly for my part-time nanny. Probably more than 2x as much, but for the sake of argument, let's hold that number at 2x. Conservatively, the dress had to cost 500 bucks. I would not feel responsible keeping that dress. If I was single or rich or even married and childless and doing OK, I might feel differently.
Also, I'm assuming a week of day care costs more than 80-90$... I may be way off base there. I wouldn't know, I leave my (feline) baby at home to fend for himself!
Apparently my love for Alterna has overridden my ability to spell "frivolous" and "argument." Sorry.
Keep the dress. I bought a similar $$$$$$ panic inducing dress in December and my credit card is STILL MAD at me for buying it, and the pretty sparkly shoes I needed to go with it...but it does look OH SO PRETTY hanging in my closet. lol
KEEP THE DRESS! noah deserves a hot mommy, dammit.
in fact, wear the dress to the day care center. see if you can get the Hot Mommy discount!
but can you wear it more than once? If you can, you've just cut the cost in half....
At least that is how I explain my shoe purchases....
Keep it. Get ogled (and hopefully lucky). And post pic of you in the smokin' dress. What is there to question?!
Since you are rolling all the celebrations together, this means you aren't buying several different outfits for different dates with the hubby, just one spendy dress for the one multi-event dinner.
I say keep the dress. Having your husband ogle at you is totally worth it.
It could be worse, you could have your husband mad at you for totally screwing up your withholding and so now you're out, like, $800 that was going toward the house down payment fund. Not that *I* did anything like that.
Keep the dress! I'm have a feeling you were shopping in the newly redone Chevy Chase area of DC. The beautiful stores of Gucci, Barney's, Tiffany, Jimmy Choo.. oh those shoes... Sorry I’m off track back to the dress at hand.
I firmly believe if you look hot in it and like it. Keep it. You just had a baby, you deserve something nice!
Plus if it's designer then I’m quite sure it's well made and will last for a long time. Wear it to bed, wear it to garden, just try it on and walk around the house for a few minutes. All those count into the all important Price per wear ratio, which is how i justify all large purchases. I figure if can get something down to $20/wear, it was a total steal! Then you can sell in 20 years as vintage and make a ton off it. Then the dress becomes profitable and even more justifiable.
For the record? The dress? Did NOT cost anything close to $500.
Neither does daycare, thank God.
It's ok to splurge every once in awhile. Keep the dress.
I have no vote on the keep or not to keep part at all. However, I need details. If not a picture, at least a great description of that dress. One is forthcoming...right?
Keep the dress. I was out shoe shopping today because I need catharsis damnit, and didn't buy the cute Coach clogs that were on sale for $150 b/c I only work part time and am about to have to pay off a $2500 divorce lawyer and I'm not even getting alimony, but damn I needed some cute black Coach clogs. Why didn't I buy them? Because I am estupida. Life is too short. Again, keep the dress.
Keeeeeeeeep the dressss! And please post pictures!
I know all about spending money when you aren't supposed to. My husband and I have a ridiculous amount of student loan and credit card debt that we racked up as students. Now that we are grown-ups making lots of money we should theoretically be paying down our debt and saving. But what do we do? We set our money on fire! And it is so much fun! Seriously, though, we are getting better about it and figuring out how to b-u-d-g-e-t but we still occasionally go crazy and buy something outrageous or spend too much on dinner (easy to do here in NYC), because sometimes you just need to.
"We are combining celebrations to save our babysitter's sanity, because just wait until she sees the poops this solid-food-eating baby is producing these days. HA HA!"
I bet you have a really nice babysitter who would never think of making alternate plans after reading this. Nope. Never.
P.S. you're evil
Don't return the dress.
And please show us what it looks like!
Yeah if the dress had costed $500 I would have said return it. In my mind the dress cost you around $150. So in order to make a sound judgment I would have to see a pic of you in the dress... so take a pic of the boob dress and let us all take a vote. And then IF you return it... have them just credit your card cuz pennies are SO hard to lug home.
Don't even think of returning it until we get a picture.
Keep the dress...I mean did you put on a credit card that earns miles? IF so, you are just benefiting your travels to visit the family to show off Noah...no harm in looking good while you do it!!
God, I love the way you people think.
i too feel so strongly, i'm delurking and creeping out from behind my monitor to tell you to KEEP THE DRESS!
if it makes you feel beautiful and sexy then it is worth it. i recently bought a bcbg (!) dress which was by far the most expensive single piece of clothing i've ever bought but i felt damn sexy every minute i wore it, and my boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off me all night which is priceless.
chalk up another vote, i want to see the dress too. let us give you the advice smackdown, you never know one of us might know where to get something just like it for less.
Also Heather? I am a liar. His poops smell like FLOWERS.
My apoloigies. I had heard daycare costs quite a bit more than a nanny does, and we pay our nanny 16 an hour, for 15 hours. In light of the fact that the dress does not cost anything near 500 bucks, I hereby withdraw my previous comment, and wish you a lovely dinner in your gorgeous dress.
Keep it, you deserve it, and it was a spousally-informed purchase, so it's not like someone will be doing the bills and then fall over from shock and land on Ceiba or anything.
Your finances, your money, your life, enjoy it!
Keep the dress- a 3-in-1 celebration not only means that you are not buying 3 separate outfits, but also that you are not buying 3 separate meals or paying a babysitter 3 times.
And, if Jason gave his blessing, he must really like the dress. which means that you will feel sexy and 'unmommy-like' for an evening. Which is a good thing for a relationship. Too easy to fall into the comfy clothes/baby-food covered/ponytail persona- variety is needed!
Keep that darn dress!
KEEEEEEP IT!! For the love of all that is Sacred, Amalah must have the beautimous (husband approved!) dress.
And must show pictures. You know how to use a camera, so let's see it!
And shoes, too
You can always return the dress after you wear it, just to make your checking account (and you) feel better. Not that I'm condoning that kind of conduct.
And please please, post a picture of the dress!
pixplzkthx!
Since you seem unsure, here's some more unsolicited advice. And I am really, tremendously fiscally responsible, so I know which I speak.
If you love the dress, can imagine at least five occasions on which you might wear it, and promise to wear it on said occasions, keep the dress. BUT, to make up for it, you must give up an equivalent amount of money in other luxuries that you normally have. For example, you like to eat out. So if the dress cost $200, you must skip approximately $200 worth of lunches or dinners out to make up for it. That way you get to keep the dress, but it does not affect the bottom line.
Oh my god, I am so boring. Boobs! Sharks! Anything exciting!