Attack of the Blog Babies!
When Cheesiness & Corniness Combine...

I Never Told You This, But the Photographer Asked If I Was Sort Of Like JenniCam

Hey, remember when I was in a magazine?

Remember when I promised I would scan and post the article after the magazine was off the newstands?

Remember when I actually scanned and posted the article in a timely manner after the magazine was off the newstands?



There! Now you can remember when I did that. Please look back on this past minute very fondly.

(Here is a close-up of the actual article, if you can break yourselves free of the hypnotic belly and would like to read the stupid things I said.)

(The ex-boyfriend-Google thing was a joke.)

(Except not really.)

(None of them have Googled me. None!)

(I believe they are all too busy weeping over their sad and pathetic Amy-less existence to get around to it.)

A few minor updates, of course: I am now 28. My hair is about six inches longer and Ceiba ate those shoes back in September. The site now gets about 4,500 unique visitors a day, many of whom seem to REALLY LIKE the refresh button. And that whole novel thing? Turns out that I have the attention span of an MTV-generation gnat and cannot seem to get past chapter five before tossing the whole draft into the fireplace, figuratively speaking, since I type it on my non-tossable laptop and also do not have a fireplace.

Oh, and I'm not pregnant anymore. That's a really good thing. Because damn, girl.



At least you got to Chapter 5. I'm still stuck on page one!


Great article! Our very own local celebrity!

Anne Glamore

Love the defiant pose. Sorry about the shoes.


I've been lurking for a while now, and I just wanted to let you know how much I loooove your blog! You totally give me hope for when I have kids!


Holy belly!

Real Girl

Grrr, catching up from yesterday and missed the whole blogger drama and now my curiosity is so piqued!!!

But so is my awww factor, because those pics were some of the best so far. Keep 'em coming, I say!

(Was there bitchslapping? Because I kinda love bitchslapping.)

(About the drama, I mean, not the babies. Because slapping babies is bad.)


damn, girl is right!


That's so cool. I dream of the day when I have my very own insanely popular blog. You're an inspiration to us all! :)


Well, look how damn cute you are! No wonder we all kiss your ass so much! HA!

But really, I think we need you to do a "now" version of the Amy you have on your main page, just to see how much you've really changed when you make that face.

Do you have a dress like that now? If not, just wear The Dress (ha!) and, sure, cut yourself some bangs and most importantly open your mouth really wide and try to recreate that expression.

See? All this fame hasn't changed you at all!

heather b

My goodness, I almost forgot you were so cutepregnant. I hope, if I ever spawn, I'm that cutepregnant, and not puffybloatedpregnant. and with good hair, too!

Bozoette Mary

I actually subscribed to Washingtonian at that point and read it when it first came out!


For everyone interested in the blog drama I mentioned and then deleted in a fit of over-it-ness, Julie of has a very good summary of the Whole Ugly Thing.

Bashing Amalah is the New Black! Whatever.


Great article. And the thing on Some people need to get a life. Seriously, bashing other bloggers? How about not reading the site if you don't like it. The blog-world really is like highschool sometimes, isn't it?

Also, what brand are those jeans in the picture, and are they specifically maternity jeans? Because I love the color and the hem.


who would ever want to bash you?!?!?

off with their heads!


hey, I remember when I got that issue in the mail! Maybe I should have a cute baby to increase my readership? That's a good enough reason, right?


I love the "I am preganant woman hear me roar" pose!

PS: Best friend in DC mailed me a copy of the mag so you made it as far as FL.


Ha! I put my name on my blog for the same reason! Got the same response from ex-boyfriends! Those bastards.

Also, please tell me they airbrushed you and your legs weren't really that thin while you were pregnant! I knew you kept the thin arms, but how unfair that you had the thin legs too!


i cannot imagine having that many hits/day, though i do dream about it in glorious vain detail. *drifts off* ...what? huh? where am i? sorry.

i must say, i forgot also how basketball-stuffed-under-the-shirt your pregnancy looked. ;) now i can totally see the whole "her pelvis won't move because it is too tiny and will spark angry jealousy of non-pregnant women everywhere as it is so devilishly tiny" delivery.


we keep hitting the refresh button in hopes of you magically updating every few minutes or so.


I was able to snag a copy in Philadelphia when the issue came out. When Noah learns to write you can send out dual autographed copies.


4,500 hits a day? That's a lot of hitting! I suppose this is the one instance where it's appropriate to say that you've earned every one. :)

Ali G


but you were in a magazine! awesome! conquering all media types...


Double Ewe Aitch Oh Are Eeeeeeeee.


"The site now gets about 4,500 unique visitors a day, many of whom seem to REALLY LIKE the refresh button"

So...are you able to tell which users those are?

In defense of those people, they're probably just looking for new comments. I would guess.


i for one love the baby pictures so keep them coming! and the article is awesome... umm amazing hair! am jealous.

Silly Hily

That pose says, "Don't you wish your girlfriend/(wife) was HOT like me (while pregnant b/c she's totally not b/c I am lucky pregnant woman who looks fabulous while pregnant)" cue whipping sound of "Dolls" song. And I hate that song but that is exactly what you are saying to those ex-boyfriends. Tha nerve of them to Google you!


That belly is very hypnotic.

I ... erm... hit refresh. SORRY! It's just that I have a job where I work for like 40 minutes and then play on the internet for the other 7 hours and 20 minutes, and then I think, "well, maybe she's updated...NOW! maybe ... NOW!"

heather b

You crack me up on a regular basis; I say poopy on the haters.

I read your blog because I get enjoyment out of it; your sense of humor is cracked and warped and your snarkywood comments usually have me doing this snorty thing at my desk so I don't get caught perusing the internet at work and thusly fired, since braying laughter emerging from my office would probably let people know they HEY! I'm NOT WORKING IN HERE! which is bad.

but! I digress! You're funny AND mean, without being nasty about the meanness; I've never even met you, but I think your baby is too cute and ever so advanced;

and when you answered my question in the advice smackdown I was so excited I told everyone. Even about how your advice was never to go to the haircuttery again and invest in a hat.


Lordy, hit the refresh button all you want, people. I'm not watching or judging. I'm hitting refresh along with you to see who's commenting.

And no, I can't tell who you are. Why? Are you standing behind me? Is the IP log coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE?


dude. wow. stomach.


and the shoes are way cute! What were you freaking out about?


What a sad person she is.

I know that YOU know how cool you are, so wha-evah!

Mmmm ass is yummy, I like to kiss it.


nothing to say, just watching the drama...


Yeah, the article! I waited patiently for a while and then I gave up hope. Seems like just yesterday you were getting your photo taken and telling us about it. Great article, thanks for posting!

Nicole P

I heart this blog and your comments section. I am a serial refresher AND REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT :) Amalaholics need our fix or the shaking starts. We can't help ourselves, we could stop if we really wanted to (we all know that's not true)!

And I of course mean this in a totally non-stalker, just a I-wish-you-lived-here-so-we-could-be-friends kind of way. Really. Ok, leaving now to revel in my retardedness.


Oh, lordy, Amalah, if you had only seen all of us when you were in labor with 'ittle cootsey-wootsie Noah...REFRESHREFRESHREFRESH!


I dream of writing something someday that actually is counted in CHAPTERS, instead of paragraphs. Oh, and holy zillion readers! You deserve it, this site rocks.


That's awesome, Amy!! I have to confess (as you may or may not have already realized) I am totally addicted to your site. And pictures of Noah. Really, I think you have some of the funniest captions I've ever read. I check your site repeatedly throughout the day just to re-read your wit, wisdom and sarcasm. My friends and family all know who you are because I am always saying, "you know that web site I go to -- Amy, the girl with the baby-- well, she said 'blah, blah, blah' and it was so funny! Here, let me show you..."

I realize I sound like I may need a psych evaluation and maybe you are possibly hoping you never meet me on the street. I assure you, while I may need a psych evaluation, I am just someone who want to let you know what a great site you have and how much I love reading everything you write.


HOw cool is it to be popular? Really, I want to know.

Look at your belly button!


I had totally forgotten how huge your belly was. Wowsas.

Heather B.

Oh the drama around here is so ummm craptastic. I agree with the bitchslapping. And obviously you're the bigger person for ignoring it.

Oh and this is the other Heather B. The one from Albany who says she can drive in the snow, but umm can't.


The article?!? Realy? Do you believe that I was actually wondering about it the other day? No, oh well. It was a great article and fabulous belly. Thanks for sharing.

Wacky Mommy

i love the belly picture. also i compulsively refresh. it's satisfying. heh heh.


Great pic- I love the representing for stylish pregnant women everywhere!

Can I ask how far along you were in that pic? You look great- I would just like to know for comparison purposes :) I am 31 weeks and evidently I am huge for my due date- according to coworkers, family, passerby, etc.


Ashley - I believe I was about 35 weeks there.

Everyone told me I was huge, but I didn't know from huge until the final month or so when I got UNBELIEVABLY huge and looked back at this picture with fondness for my tiny days.


Wow, impressive circumference! Total eclipse of the torso.

I was dying to read this; I checked a gazillion times and they never loaded the article text onto the Washingtonian web site. Thanks for sating the curiosity of your helpless non-DC devotees.


"Mom to be writes addictive blog"

^ I love it. Way to go Ms. Famous.

Re: your ex-boyfriends being too busy weeping over their Amy-less existence to Google you: Hilarious!

RockStar Mommy

Jesus Christ! Does it ever end? The jealousy? The estrogen-bitchiness? I'm so sick of hearing about how *annoying* popular bloggers, like yourself. The people who write that shit are just pissed off that they're site isn't popular and I guess by finding a small community who will sit around and agree with them and pat them on the back and say, You're right! She really does suck! She is so ugly! then they feel welcome somewhere, they feel popular.

I guess you're supposed to feel bad about the fact that other people comment frequently on your site because THAT makes other people feel left out.

How fucking childish.

RockStar Mommy

Also, after seeing how big Noah was when he came out, that belly looks SMALL! That boy must have been so smushed up.


Ya, finally an ending just about you and not entirely about Noah.


Nah, you weren't carrying a 10 pound baby there! LOL


Did you laugh and say "no, I'm way cooler than Jennicam ever dreamed of being?

And to think, you'd only get 4,499 hits without lil' ol' me. Heh. (and, I'm probably guilty of refreshing every now and then. I can't help myself it's so... refreshing!)

Full disclosure: I was a paid subscriber to Jennicam for a while. You may commence with being squicked out now, y'all.


I'm confused. Who/what is Jennicam?


ah! color me green.

i'm so envious that you looked that good when you were that pregnant.
i'm so envious that you are totally famous now!
i'm so envious because, seriously, you are sooo popular! :)


"Is the IP log coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE?" Good lord, you are SO FUCKING FUNNY! Does Jason just giggle himself to sleep every night while you hold forth? Keep it coming!


JP - Ask and Wikipedia shall answer.

All About Jennicam


I am so blown away by the coincidence. I came here to look up that post (about the mag article) to link it in my blog (because damn, we are havin' us a photo shoot) and lo and behold.......voila. I shall link to this one instead (because I am now too lazy to go lookin through the archives) you are just too awesome Amalah to have done that for little ol' me. Thanks. Oh. Not for me?


Um...I hate you.

Not for the whole "you are way more popular in the blog world than me" reason but for something entirely different...the "you were so freakin skinny while incubating such a mondo child and now are back to pre-baby weight and look hot while I, seven months after baby, am trying desperately to lose the joey-pouch" reason. And then...and then, could you like have an ugly baby at least to make me feel better? Nooo, not Amy. She has to have one of the cutest little linoleum lizards ever...My hatred runs like a mighty river..

p.s. You know I am totally kidding, right? People aren't going to go to my blog and leave nasty messages like, "UR A fat ugly Amalah hater, die fatso, die", are they? ;)

p.s.#2.. Love Turtle In Winter.


You're so cute in a Gwyneth-ish way (and that's a good thing in my book). Seriously, if I looked as cute as you while incubating a kid, I'd be pregnant all the time, except for that pesky painful as hell, look at my swollen feet, emotional basketcase issue. Great photo!


I like how it looks like your toenails are painted a lovely shade - I couldn't see my feet when I was that pregnat, much less bend down and take care of them. Obviously that's a sign of a kick-ass pregnant lady.


Talk about feeling like a pork chop at a bar mitzvah. What's with the bitchslapping? I wanto to know!
Apparently I am not as good an Internet snooper as I thought I was, but I CAN'T FIND THE NASTINESS!


"pork chop at a bar mitzvah". THAT was funny.


Missie - HA! I still have the joey pouch! Last night Noah was on my lap and started to SUCK ON IT, because my stomach apparently resembles a breast. Thanks, kid!

Lori - Seriously, you're not missing anything. Internet fights are really, really stupid. And the 15 minutes for this one ended about a half hour ago.


I can't believe such a big baby came out of a such a cute little person. I would be pregnant all the time if I looked as good as you do. I hate you! just kidding.


Um, Ame? You have posted pictoral evidence of how skinny you are now. You have a joey-keyring, if anything. I have more of a joey-airline-carryon-bag-that-I-could-fit-my-daughter-in-with-her-head-sticking-out-like-a-purse-dog.

p.s. My hub looked over my shoulder the other night when I was on your blog, saw a pic of Jason, and said, "Man, that guy really looks like me!" And know what? He does! Not like twin-brother alike, more like first cousin look at the family resemblance alike. No wonder I thought Jason was cute.


I think one must have a password and username to access the actual nastiness, but there are many clues about the Internet as to what this is all about. I followed the breadcrumbs and found out quite a lot — more than I needed to know, really. Did you see the site Amalah referenced, That's a good start.

Also, y'all, Amalah's belly got even bigger. You should really check out the belly as it was on Sept. 12, 2005 (archives). Hope you don't mind that I'm sending people there, Amalah, but I was really blown away by that one ... um, and so were my coworkers. But hey, I promise that if I ever get pregnant, I'll post my most pregnant picture online, solely for the amusement of you and your coworkers. Pinky swear.


Do you know who you look like!?!? That gorgeous girl who was on the TV Show ED. What is her name.... Julie Bowen, I think. You look so much like her in this picture!

Fun article! Huge belly! Sexy mama! Yea Amalah!


Yep, Amy, I know internet fights are stupid. But until you have been in a faculty fight, internet fights look like a day at the beach.
I NEED a day at the beach, because I have spent the entire school year engaged in trench warfare with a menopausal micromanager who has body odor that would knock a dog off a gut wagon and who dresses like she is really hoping Richie or Potsy will ask her to the prom. Bleh.
Amalah and Noahalah cheer me up immeasurably. Thank you for the respite.


You're pretty! I want to be just like you when I grow up. I'm 25 this year so, does that mean I'm all grown up now and can't be just like you? *sobs*


Lori - do we work at the same place? Oh, no you said school. Mine is a health care centre but - I so relate.

Laura Lohr

What a cute pregnancy picture! Adorable!


So that is what your belly looked like at 35 weeks? Mine doens't stick out like jujst hangs down. Yours looks better. I still have 8 more weeks. I can't imagine getting any bigger. Seriously.

And am so mad I can't access the site at work...I miss out on all the drama because I have to wait until I get home..and then it's all over.

(Thanks for the article...I've been waiting for it...)

The Muse

I remember that my best friend Lana and I were in DC around the time that article came out (the weekend right after you birthed your beautiful not-so-wee boy), and I was ecstatic to pick up a copy in town and read it. Tee-hee!


Oooh, sexy pregnant lady.

What's funny is that I was looking up that issue of the Washingtonian at the library last week.

Found it, too.


I'm confused; where are your other chins? When I was pregnant I had at least 12.


wait, i'm going to have to sit across from THAT on saturday? you're like, all pretty and radiant glowing tresses and shit.

that's it. i'm wearing a full length veil. and gloves. and a hazmat suit.

Dr. Johnny Fever

Is it really called Tenleytown? Is it near Lazytown? Is there a Sesame Street there? Do you live near Barney?


You? Are totally prettier than Jenni. And more fully clothed.

Oh, and I totally spent 1/2 an hour in the library looking for your article right after it came out. Gotta love Fairfax County's public libraries! They rock!

PS - I need a new job, any idea where to start looking? I'm kind of in the same field as you... association/writing/communications. But you probably have a whole bunch of real advice questions to answer, so never mind. :)


LOLOL, how pregnant were you at the time? Because you look fabulous and are carrying all in front and when I get pregnant I am going to be carrying ALL OVER. I will not be this lucky. So I must gaze longingly at the pregnant body I will never have. *jealous eye*


Dude, you were such a cute pregnant chick! Please help me to be as pretty when I get knocked up. Thank you very much.


I'm probably glad I missed the fight, how did I not refresh enough? You're right, it's time is definitely over. The point of this comment is that I forgot how beautiful you looked pregnant because I think you look so lovely now with your Noah. Yay to you!


That was so cool to see the article. You (and that cute belly) are fabulous!


ARGh you tease me with drama that is not 'dollie drama' and I go to to find out the IP address no longer works?


and WHOO for pregnant Amy pics... because you were just SO DAMN CUTE!


Aww. I still love your belly.


Hey Amy, did you know you were up for a blog award? I was going to nominate you, but found that someone beat me to it!

I am a nominee too. :) Woohoo, so awesome to be on the same list as you oh great one!

Lisa V

I watched Jennicam like a soap. I sometimes wonder what she is doing now. How are her cats? What about her garden? Does she still put neked pictures out ?
PS You are pretty much nothing like Jennicam. Well accept for the pet pictures.


Amalah: I cannot find the summary on Julie's site, and I must know about the controversy! Please fill me in!


It's there, honest. First post on the page.

And that's the last I'm saying about it. My new resolution is to Stop Acknowledging the Drama, Because Enough Already.


Oops, I forgot to mention that you were nominated at "One Woman's World" blog ( as "Happiest blog."

I think you are more "Humor," "Best writing," and "Most meetable in real life" though.


As one of the happy 4,500 readers, may I just wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day! May your day be full of time with Noah and Jason and lots and lots of Coach bags. (Seriously, what else could a woman wish for?)


4,500 readers!!

Crap! I want to have readers! At least a couple. Then again, it's a little hard since my blog is in spanish and there's not that much audience for a blog that isn't about current events or some uppity crap of that sort.

Bring back the Advice Smackdown!! NEED. BLOG. ADVICE. NOW.

And on another note, you look so cute on that pic! The envy again!

Happy Valentine's Day!


Happy Valentine's Day!

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