She's Come Undone and Also Unhinged
Not Ha Ha Funny, But I Tried

In the Pink. Again.

So I called my mom last night, mostly to bore someone besides Jason with a very long diatribe about work, about daycare, about staying home, about money, about spending the majority of my precious moments with Noah getting crapped on, and about whatever else was bugging me out yesterday.

I took a breath after 20 minutes or so, and finally got around to asking how she was doing.

I figured we'd talk some more about Amber, our sweet old dog, who was put to sleep last week after a long battle with Everything, and I didn't tell you guys about that because I'm just too damn sad to talk about it.

She was a good dog, and I never got to say goodbye, unless you count last Christmas when I really, really hope I remembered to pet her.

Amber2

Goodbye, Old Paint.

But we didn't talk about Amber last night, at least not right away.

They found a lump. Another goddamn lump. In her other breast. Her only breast.

We're starting all over again. And I have no words.

I do, however, have an appropriate onesie (which you can find here). And a bunch of Very Good Links You Should Click On, Preferably With Your Credit Card Handy.

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Noah likes the boobs! You give money now!

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Don't make me break out the baby toes, people.

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Save the Boobies. And Nanalah.

Comments

kathy

praying. praying for Nanalah. hang in.

Frema

I'm so sorry. You guys truly deserve a break already. Your whole famalah will be in my prayers.

Ali G

poor nanalah... i'm so sorry you have to go throught it again.

Amytoo

Oh Amy, I am so sorry.

I am thinking extra-special good thoughts for your mom.

jenn

Big prayers and good thought to you.

dylansmom

so, so sorry. thoughts & prayers with you & your family.

and I'll have to break out the card to get my son a matching onesie. he's a big supporter of the boobies.

Beverly

So very sorry, I will keep you, Nanalah, and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

PS - love the toes!

Amanda

Oh Amy....I am so terribly sorry. Lots of prayers being sent.

I love Noah's onsie!

Sarcomical

my lord, amy. SO sorry to hear that. :( but although it is a very sad thing, your mom CAN beat this! don't forget that, and don't let HER forget it, either. it's just another stumble in the road, but it's NOT the end of the path.

lots of prayers huggable thoughts.

Kathleen

Seriously, we need to put karma in its place... some SERIOUSLY AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL shit needs to start happening to the Amalah family like pronto!

That is the most heartwrenchingly adorable onesie I've ever seen in my entire life.

Dorothy

So sorry to hear this. Will say a prayer for your mama.

Lizzie P.

Thinking of you guys. Will definitley say a prayer for your Nanalah.

Polichick

Nanalah is in my thoughts, Amy.

Carolyn

I'm so very sorry, Amy! My thoughts will be with you and your mom!

Ann Coleman

Oh Amalah, I am sorry.

I work at Johns Hopkins- if you wish to post it, this is a link where people can donate to cancer research online- and can specify breast cancer research.

http://www.hopkinskimmelcancercenter.org/contributions/

I know I can only give a little, but I have seen for myself how every bit helps and would encourage others to give at least a little.

Megan

Your Momalah and your family are in my prayers. I hope you all get a break.

Zoots Mom

Prayers here in Tennessee Amy...many of them

mirabel

I'm so sorry about your mom. I'll be thinking of all of you.

Ann Coleman

WHOOPS!- when I said give a little- I mean to any of the cancer sites.

I'm not trying to have any personal gain- I don't work in fundraising.

Sorry if anyone misunderstood.

PaintingChef

Sending lote of prayers and good thoughts your way Amy. I'm so so sorry to hear about this but your mamalah is so very lucky to have someone like you who can keep her positive and also get a whole caboodle of internet friends thinking about her. Sending you hugs too!

minnie

i'm so sorry. will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Boozie

I'm so sorry to hear that. Coleen's got my donation.

Be strong.

LotionBarBunny

Hey {{hugs}} I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. Please let her know that someone (me) over in PA is totally supporting women with breast cancer. In Oct, I raised $1000 for the American Cancer Society for breast cancer (Pamper for a Cure) and in April I am doing "Shop for a Cure." With the admission fee going again to the ACS for breast and ovarian cancer. My husband's aunt has breast cancer and also just had a breast removed. :( So please send my love to your mom. She'll be in my prayers.

Busy Mom

I am so sorry to hear the news. Your whole family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Susannah

Amy--
My Mom is currently undergoing chemo for colon cancer, so I can relate to what you must be going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom and Dad and the rest of your family. Fingers (and toes) crossed that everything turns out okay.

And my condolences to you and your family. Losing a pet is so hard (we've lost two kitties in the past three years). My doggies are 15 and 12 now, so I really just try not to think about it. They're my kids, and I can't imagine life without them.

Jessie

So sorry to hear that. Your mom and the rest of your family will definitely be in my prayers. I really hope that she does even better at kicking its butt this time.

Rachel

Gah, I am so damn sorry. Cancer is the suckiest sucky thing on the planet. My mom went through all that crap last year and my father is dying of it now (okay, he's not dying of breast cancer, but still.) Such a huge suckfest.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

We will kill the cancer damn it, we will!

weaker vessel

Aw, damn. DAMN. Even the powerful juju of the "SUCK IT" mantra cannot counter the shitstorm that the universe is currently directing your way, girl. Good vibes from Alabama. Uh, slightly to the north of the ones that are being vibed at you by zoot.

Cara

Oh Amy, I'm so sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Angela

Amy... I don't have the right words. I've heard them all and there's really nothing that can be said to make this okay.

We've been going through this with my mom who couldn't even finish chemo for her breast cancer over the Christmas holidays because it made her so God awful sick.

Just know that you're in my thoughts and I hope and pray everything turns out okay.

andrea

I'm so sorry. She's kicked it once, she will kick it again. I'm so sorry you are going to have to go through this again.

Lots of love and prayers to the Nanalah

Jezer

I am praying for you, your mom and your entire family.

I volunteer on the committee for the Komen Race in our town. I've never lost anyone in my immediate family to breast cancer, and I've never had it (most of the other committee members fall into one of those two categories), but too damned many of my friends and aunts have suffered because of the bitch.

Am on my way to order that onesie for Alex.

Hang tough. Have some alcohol. Know we are all thinking of you and sending positive vibes your mom's way.

Pegomh

Prayers for your Mom and you. Just so everyone knows - there are 3 links above for 3 different people! I am happy to give for Mamalah.

JustLinda

Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry. How stressful for you and your mother. And I'm sorry about Amber too - what a beautiful doggy she was (and not blonde! my daughter, Amber, is convinced that every other Amber out there is a bubble-headed blonde! hahah Not that all blondes are bubble-headed and why am I babbling on when YOU are blonde and this is your very own blog I am insulting you on but you are OBVIOUSLY not bubble-headed and your name isn't Amber though when I named my kid Amber my mother SWORE she would only refer to her as Amy because she hated Amber and oh my god somebody stick a bagel in my mouth, no, that wouldn't work, duct tape on my fingers???)

Anyway, I'm so sorry. Wishing and hoping for the best for your mother and yes, the cure, worthy cause, wonderful way to divert your starbucks money....

Bella

so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Here is another link my Mom and I particiapte in every year (she had breast cancer in 01)

http://www.boobiethon.com/

Kat

I'm so sorry to hear about Mom. Cancer sucks the big one. My dad's doing the chemo thing now too. It sucks. Did I mention that cancer sucks? It does. Many prayers coming your way...

Vaguely Urban

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Best wishes for a quick and complete recovery.

ben

Shit. That sucks. I'm so sorry.

RockStar Mommy

I'm so sorry - about your Mom and dog. That is so fucking unfair.

Michele

Amalah, I'm so sorry! I will keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers.

Missie

Baby drooly kisses and hair-tugging hugs from my babester to you and your momster.

My mom had bc in 2004, dad has lung and liver cancer now. It does suck in a big big way.

Claire

My thoughts and prayers are for you and Nanalah. We have had our own experience with this devastating disease in the last couple of years. My family participated in our Weekend to End Breast Cancer last year and are gearing up for the weekend again this year - with you and your family in our hearts.

Silly Hily

AWESOME shirt! I'm so sorry Amy! I'm right there with you though. They found cancer in my Grandma's boob 50 years ago, so..off with it. 25 years later, cancer in the other boob...off with it. 25 years later (now) the fucking SCAR from off-ing one of the boobs, has been attacked by the cancer. For real, it's like enough already! How much can these women take? She's already had surgery to remove the cancer from the scar tissue but it didn't work so now she has to explore her options of treatment. Your mom will without a doubt be in my thoughts and my prayers!

Andrea again

Amalah- we need a link for at least a charity that you got the onesie from. All of my friends want it. Thanks!

Kim

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. She will be in my thoughts. *hugs*

Karin

So sorry Amy. Stuff happening to moms stinks. Hugs to you and to her. And I love that onesie! I just wish he didn't have to wear it. :(

Megan

I'm so sorry, Amy. I'm thinking of you and your family.

Lori

Sending healthy hugs and prayers from Upstate New York. I am so sorry, Amy.
The onesie is great; I just ordered three for friends expecting babies.
God bless you all.

Safiya

Just delurking to say how sorry I am to hear your news.

I will be praying for your Mum's recovery.

ktbug

Amy,
Thoughts and prayers for a successful and speedy recovery are with your mom and your family.

ssheers

If she can, have you mom go to Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York or at least check out their website at: http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/44.cfm
They saved my husband's life; he had surgery for colo-rectal cancer there last fall. Their motto is: "The best cancer care. Anywhere."
He's got one more chemo session to go.

Condolences for your dog. I've got a cat with kidney failure. The husband thinks he and the cat feel about the same right now.

kris

So sorry. Thinking of you.

xtine

Hoping Nanalah beats this again. Fortunately, she has a great family to support her and a sweet little grandson to bring smiles to her face.

I typically donate to Susan Komen so I'll be more than happy to help out those women you linked to.

Best wishes. Stay strong, all of you.

Amalah

Thanks y'all. Sorry I forgot to mention that the onesie was a gift from Minarae, who also does all sorts of amazing breast cancer fundraising and will be walking again later this year. I think it was from her own CafePress store, but I will ask her for more info.

Jamie

Oh, Amy. There will be walkers at the Chicago Avon Walk for Breast Cancer with Nanalah written on their shirts, I'm sure of it.

Thinking of you, and wishing you all the very best in this difficult time. It sounds like a grocery store card, but it's true.

Wacky Mommy

I am so sorry, Amy. Thinking of your mom and sending good thoughts.

Jenny P

I'm thinking about you...not that you have any idea who I am, but I bet there are a whole lot more of us out here in lurkdom who feel the same...

Max

I'm so sorry. We're all thinking of you and your mom and wishing you the best. (Is there anything to say in these situations that doesn't sound lame and trite?) But it's sincere, as wiser posters than me have pointed out. Take care of yourself.

hardtoimagine

So sorry to hear about your mom and the dog. My mother is a 2-time breast cancer survivor so I can definitely relate to what you are going through right now. You all are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

Now, I must go find that onesie for my son and nephew. It is absolutely adorable!

TB

Any chance it's benign? I'm sending good vibes to you and your mom today.

Sarah

We found out Wednesday my aunt has breast cancer. She's having surgery next week. Just confirms my motto - cancer sucks! I am the team captain for my work's Relay for Life team, but somehow it never seems like enough, since it is just such an awful disease. Hugs to Nanalah, and the whole Amalah family.

callistawolf

I didn't know your bad day could get worse, but it did. :( I'm so so so sorry... *hugs* I will be sending you good vibes and prayers and whatever else I can muster.

Tory

So sorry, Amy. I'm wishing you and your family well...

Mir

GAH GAH GAH SO SO SO SO UNFAIR!!!

I'm sorry, Amy. Your mom will kick cancer's ass again, but it still SUCKS.

(P.S. I am also selling walk-related t-shirts in my CafePress store, if folks want to support that way... all proceeds to the Boston 3-Day. http://www.cafepress.com/woulda)

Hugs to the Amalah clan.

Martha

I'm so sorry, Amy. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

CathyHW

Thinking of you and your momalah

Sheryl

I'm so sorry. My mom had to have a double mastectomy too, a few years apart. But she'll be 75, and she's alive and kicking-- though boobless :o)

Erin

My prayers will be with you, your mom, and your family while you're going through this again. I'm so sorry there has to be an again.

kel.

Wow. I'm really sorry.

My God the feet on that child!

Nothing But Bonfires

Oh, Amy, so sorry. About Amber, about Nanalah, about all of it.

Lots of thinking about you will be going on over here.

DebbieS

Oh Amy...I so know where you're coming from. I lost my mom (53) last month to lung cancer (she never even smoked), three weeks after I put my cat down for intestinal cancer. And I have a baby girl just a few weeks older than Noah. Breast cancer runs like noses in my mom's family, too...but if it makes you feel any better, my great-grandma survived hers by better than 50 years. Yeah, it came back, but she was 95. I'll be saying an extra prayer every night for your Momalah. If she's anything like you, she'll kick its ass and make it wish it had never replicated. If you ever need someone to talkto, shoot me an e-mail.

Debbie and baby Persephone

Julie

Like everyone else, I'm really sorry for everything your family is facing.

Best of luck!

Irina

I'm so sorry. It must be incredibly difficult. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Lisa Ann

Amy,
Will send good healing vibes for mamalah.

Cagey

I am really sorry, Amy. My mother is a breast cancer survivor and she has always said she wished she would have had them "just take both at the same time" so she wouldn't have to still always worry.

Hang in there and think only good thoughts.

Noah is a perfect poster boy for the cause. :-)

Sundry

So sorry to hear this. Sending good vibes your way.

Kate

Tell your parents to behave themselves!
NO MORE CANCER!!

Thinking of you all!

Lena

Your mom is also in my thoughts, I am wishing her a quick recovery. Good luck with everything, I am saying prayers for you too.

Aj

ARGH. Thoughts of comfort and healing sent your family's way. Your son is the best spokesperson I've seen yet: what a doll!

kelli

Amy, I am so sorry. I just can't imagine how you are feeling or how your mom is feeling. I am keeping your family in my prayers. Save the boobies indeed.

Mrs X

I'm so sorry. Putting lots of prayers out for Nanalah.

honestyrain

amy. aww, hon. i'm sorry. will be sending big huge be well vibes to nanalah. and hugs to amalah too.

Jodi

Oh Amy, I am so so sorry! There are no words.

When you find out how to get a onesie, I want one for my own little boy. I did the 3 day a few years ago and it was an amazing experience.

NattyChick

Jesus, can't your poor parents (and you) just catch a break already? I am thinking of you all.

Stephanie

you and yours in our thoughts and prayers.

Johanna

In my prayers and my thoughts.

I would love to buy that wonderful little onsie... where can I get it?

I click daily at http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites

Amber

Oh, Amy.... :( Everything is crossed for your mom, and the credit cards are being dusted off as we speak.

lizardek

Man, what a couple of hard blows to deal with at once. Sending strength and positive thinking to you all! Fight the good fight!!

Demetrius

Where did you get the outfit your son is wearing?

Allison

Oh, I'm so sorry. My mom was diagnosed with uterine cancer this past summer. She's doing really well now, but... what a horrible, horrible feeling that was. Mommies just aren't supposed to get sick!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers.

Amy

I am so sorry, but thinking good thoughts for your mom! And when you have the info about the onesie, please post if it is not too much trouble. My mother-in-law is a survivor, and lives in Peoria where the Komen Foundation started. We do the walk there every year and this will be Jack's first year and I want to surprise her with him wearing the onesie.

Hang in there...

bon

prayers and happy thoughts.

Sarawarawoo

I'm so sorry to hear that your mom and your family have been dealt another blow by this horrible disease, it truly is TEH suck. She'll be in all our thoughts and prayers x

Rachel

I'll be thinking of you and your family and praying for your Mom's quick recovery!

Sorry to hear you have recieved such terrible news. :-(

Aimee

I'm here for the first time today thanks to Mir. I hope everything goes well and that your mom is better soon. And those are SOME baby toes, I must say. Irresistible.

GranolaSpice

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sending cancer-fighting thoughts and healing vibes toward Philly.

Her Bad Mother

Prayers for Nanalah.

Condolences for the gorgeous Amber.

Credit card out for the onesie.

bethgirl

I am so sorry. I send lots of prayers and good thoughts to your mom, and your entire family.

Jaycee

Amy--I'm so sorry about your mom (and your dog.)I'll be thinking of your mom and hoping for the absolute best--Noah needs Nanalah!

Jem

I'm really sorry to hear that and will be praying for her!

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