Not Ha Ha Funny, But I Tried
February 25, 2006
Part the First! In case you missed the edit to yesterday's post, you can purchase a Save the Boobies onesie of your very very own at the BoobieBrigade CafePress shop. All proceeds go to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Part the Second! In case you are tired of all the whining and the sad and the puke around here, perhaps a visit to the Gallery of Disturbing Baby Clothes would be a nice diversion?
No, seriously. This is what I do with my life on the weekends. Well, this and change poopy diapers. And drinking, but...that's...probably pretty obvious.
Enter the Gallery of Disturbing Baby Clothes...
Very funny - had to "delurk" - am loving Noah and his beautiful brown eyes. I have 5 (yes!! 5!!!!) sons - all grown - something yummy about baby boys.
My favorites were the teenage momma chick and the dying species on the "two by two" onesie. Thanks for bringing some humor to my Saturday night.
you realize this is where his prediliction for ALL THINGS barney will stem from, right?... :)
Oh my god, the Luftwaffe pajamas were my favorite. Do they make them in Grown Up Girl sizes?
hahaha I didn't know you were fluent in German. I myself did take it in highschool. Freshman year. Therefore, to this day, I can say "Hi my name is Linda. I am 15 years old." only 15 was so long ago I barely remember it (and I swear, the reason I cannot remember it is because I'm old and not because of the drugs, all the good drugs, back then....)
Just fyi- my blog moved officially as of today (my back is killing me, all these boxes and up and down the stairs). I'm now at justlinda.net. Come SEE me!!!
I loved the Republicans taking over the earth after the dinosaurs disappeared! And the Noah's button-wheeled train or whatever. Hilarious!
I have to agree with Frema on the teenage mother chick- soooo funny I nearly choked. Being a mommy myself, I've noticed show pretty interesting things on my daughter's clothes as well. Which is one of the reasons I now stay away from Carters....
Holy Hell - that was some good stuff - my husband and I especially loved the tarted up bear with digestive problems - Thanks so much for the chuckle this evening.
Keeping you and yours in my thoughts.
I think the blowfish is my favorite.....
Someone gave my girl a little outfit with bunnies supposedly playing leapfrog, but that's sure not what it looked like!
Thanks for the laugh!!
The dinosaur was actually killed by the sun being blocked out by dust from a comet hit near the Yucutan peninsula... he wouldn't even be able to see the sun let alone the stars as he croaked. I know this b/c I am an anthropologist and anthropologists LOVE dinosaurs ya'll! (Or so the majority of ignorant people would have me believe.) I am still sad for the dino b/c imagine what baby clothes would look like if dinos did still exist!
I'm not sure what's worse -- that you made this on a Saturday night, or that I'm home reading it on a Saturday night! :)
I, like JustLinda, just moved over to my own site too. woo hoo!
LOL... STOP IT! My post c-section coffee filled bladder can't take it! :)
Awesome!!! thank so much for posting a link to get my little man's very own save the boobies shirt!! It's so funny ..since you posted his onsie I've been talking about it since..LOL
God. I so feel for you right now.
I loved the gallery...I'm keeping an eye on my bunnies after that.
You are fucking brilliant. Brilliant!
Oh my, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Especially at the pig and also the duck with bleeding eyes. LOL!
You know what would be fun? To go through all your old Advice Smackdowns and entering the questions in at this website. http://www.questionswap.com/
Henry the Hydrocephalic Reindeer? Hysterical.
What a great way to wake up on a Sunday morning!
My huge stomach hurts from laughing too much!
I will never be able to look at the hundreds of
little clothes I have been folding and refolding
in anticipation of April in the same way again. Thanks for bringing the humor in the midst of your sadness- it really is the best medicine.
I'm in a super-rank-fowl-awful mood this morning but that cracked my shit UP. Thanks.
the sinister nature of children's clothing has never been so clearly anatomized. thanks, amalah!
I never thought that those cute little baby clothes could have such disturbing images. I'll definitely take a closer look at thembefore I buy them for the babies I know.
Definitely loved the teenage mother and the chicks.
*hugs*
I like the emergency vehicles one. And somebody tell me why little boys' clothes suffer from the "fake football uniform" syndrome? We hate football in this house. Hate. Yet it's a struggle to find sleepers and clothing for a wee boy without footballs or football helmets on it. Gag.
Wait. I thought Republicans were the dinosaurs. Now I'm all confused, damnit!
And somebody get that bear to a vet. What kind of people are you? Ceiba gets her leg sewed back on (exagerration, thy name is Contrary), but the bear can't get a bowel obstruction removed? I've had it, I'm callin PETA.
I laughed
I cried...
a MUST SEE.
That first one, that was supposed to be a duck? I thought that it was some kind of evil, mutant sperm...
When I grow up, I want to be as brilliant as you. Fucking hilarious.
Brilliant, McNuggets *snort*
OMG! I literally put my head on the desk and laughed until I was crying over "Henry the Hydrocephalic Reindeer." My husband came upstairs to check on me!
Am loving the Gallery, but *pedantic mode on* the puffer fish on the Noahs Ark onesie are in fact, clearly hedgehogs.... *pedantic mode off*
This was as funny as the food one you did awhile back! For truly inspiring awfulness, you should be on the lookout for infant wear made in Japan. When my son was a baby, I was given a tiny t-shirt that read: Many thing ununderstandable a chicken-hearted seems slim usually. And there was a chick with "asian" eyes. Wish I'd saved it.
too funny... but the blowfish... not blowfish... hedgehogs -- gah. sorry. No fins...
This was GREAT! I immediately started rummaging in my 4 and 5 year olds' 'saved for posterity baby clothing treasure' and found other culprits. YIKES! This goes beyond passive aggressive behavior in the non-English speaking sweat shops; this is mind control on a mass scale. I now wonder what my Asian themed Nordstrom jammies have written on them ... It Can't Be Good!
But if they are hedgehogs, WHERE ARE THE FEET? They have no feet! They are floating in fabric space!
I'm sticking with pufferfish, because it's funnier, which...is kind of the point. Jeez.
i think the real issue with the emergency vehicle one is that they stop at the vehicles... where are the guns? car chases? people falling out of burning buildings?
they are sanitizing a very, very dirty job... AND NOAH WILL GROW UP NOT KNOWING THE TRUTH.
at least until he's old enough to switch the tv channel to cops...
It's even fun to SAY "puffer fish."
Puffer fish puffer fish puffer fish.
I need to get a life.
I thought the humping giraffes on the Noah's Ark piece were more disturbing/entertaining than the puffer fish, but that's just me.
After teaching a 1-3rd grade Sunday School class full of brillant children who wanted to discuss the whole Noah story, I nearly lost my mind. But Ms. Jenn "wouldn't the tigers eat the deer? Where did all the animal poop go? Wouldn't the snakes try to bite people? Did the dogs and cats fight, cause mine do at home?"
ACK!
LOVE the gallery. :) Brilliant (though my favorite may have to be the lingerie one, still)!
Assvice alert:
You totally should buy those "Save the Boobie" shirts for the whole Storch fam (including Ceiba) and take photo and send to your mom some random day. Or leave it with a nurse to give to her right before a treatment. Because really? What's cuter than her baby and her baby's babies in shirts that say boobies?
I'm sorry to hear about the diagnosis :(
yep, my call is hedgehog on the floating things. my daughter has a tiny stuffed animal that resembles those little finless, footless buggers and we never knew what to call it- hedgy, porky, mole...anyway, she just started calling it "creature". you remember the "creatures of noah's arc"??
me neither.
one things for sure, i'll never look at seemingly innocent baby clothes the same way again!
Umm, okay people, those things CLEARLY are not hedgehogs. CLEARLY. I mean, they might not CLEARLY be blowfish but they're much more like a blowfish than they are a hedgehog. An amputee hedgehog, perhaps. But they're aren't any funny jokes about hedgehogs that are as funny as the blowfish sushi one already stated.
And seriously, there is something deeply disturbed with all of us who have put our Sunday's on hold to actually debate what the little embroidered enigma on Noah's sleeper really is.
Just so we're all in agreement here: we're pretty sad.
Wow. That comment needs to be blown up, what with the "they're are" and just absolute ridiculousness and all - sorry, I drink on Sundays, too.
You are funny. The end.
You. Are. So. Twisted.
I don't honestly know what's more frightening- the Henry the Hydrocephalic Reindeer (which will completely change my view of all animated embellishments on Old Navy clothes hereafter) or your scarily elaborate conspiracy-theory descriptions.
Again...
You. Are. Sooooooo. Twisted.
(but so very very delightfully amusing in a liberal alcohol-influenced way, which of course is entirely appropriate for a Sunday afternoon in the city)
i am giggling just imagining you and jason inspecting all of noah's clothes for evil animalkind. lol.
Yes, this is HaHa funny.
is it bad I've been too busy crying to send a comment saying GO Nanalah, we're all here behind you, willing you to be OK.
ANd that instead, when I logged on today I was all oooooh a new post on MY Monday - she's been posting on a weekend - WOOOHOOOO
It is bad. Yes, bad.
I'm sorry.
Just send one of those beady eyed crazy baby clothes critters my way.
I love the boobie shirts!
And thanks for the laugh with the baby clothes!
I will never look at baby clothes the same again. Great post! You made my day.
I will have my first boy in about 7 weeks and just this weekend noticed some of the creepy things that are on baby boy clothes. Funny post.
(Still praying for your mom.)
So I was totally going to get Noah some sweet ass t-shirts that I found online, but am now afraid of the ridicule that the punk-baby shirts I had my eye on might get in the Gallery of Disturbing Baby Clothes!
Additional comments on Noah's Arc...the Giraffes are in a questionable mating stance!
SO FUNNY! Made my Monday worth getting up!
Thank you. That was NEEDED. Not to sound like a snot, but I am SO over the themes of Sports, Contruction and Emergency Vehicles. Where are the robots? the computers? XBoxes? database diagrams? That's where the real money is.
Also, can you do another gallery just on the tiresome gender stereotyping? Pretty please? With a Fairy Princess doing a Firechief Bear on top?
Thanks for the laugh!
I came here looking for a Starting Over post. WHERE THE HELL IS MY STARTING OVER POST?
Love the pics, and if you happen upon it again, I'd be thrilled to see Baby's first Hitler bunny.
Noah, you are indeed loveable, you evil duck wearer, you!
Oh, Lord. This is so, so funny. Please keep doing this.
y-
In case amalah was actually working today and can't tell you about today's episode, here is my half-ass summary:
it was lame
Kelly and Jody were supposedly in a fight, it would only be a fight in reality tv world
Jill leaves a message for her dad, he doesn't call her back for a week, but it looks like on tomrrow's show she gets a email from him
Kelly did this super creepy exercise where she went out and interviewed people about what was appropriate affection between a mother and son-- with a 10 year old boy and his mom. Gave me heebie-jeebies.
I hope everyone can resume their normal lives, knowing that I am carefully monitoring the starting over world. yes, i am dork.