From the It-Was-Bound-To-Happen-Sooner-Or-Later File:
The Vomitorium Strikes Back

Redirect

Guess what! I am not posting today. At all! In fact, this post you are reading right now is nothing more than a crazy hallucination and you should probably call a doctor about that.

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I'd have a really clever photo caption here if my dog's name was Tyler Durden, but it's not so I have nothing. So it's doubly good that I am not actually posting any photos.

However! The good news is that I am the featured blogger over at mommybloggers.com, and you can go over there and read a 100% original interview with me today and a 100% recycled entry from me tomorrow, because I was too damn riveted by all this Olympic curling nonsense (It's a sport with brooms, and I love it! Help!) to sit down and write anything original.

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The first rule about Nap Club is that you don't talk about Nap Club.

(Confidential to Molly: Thanks so much for the coffee, and I'm sorry I ate your muffin.)

(Not posting! Move along!)

Comments

katbliss

And I'm not commenting...

Y

You're just copying me because I was interviewed at mommybloggers first (which, by the way, did you even LEAVE A COMMENT OF SUPPORT FOR ME OVER THERE? DID YOU?)

You think you invented mommyblogging.

p.s. It's still funny to me, excuuuuse me for living.

Lilly

OMFG!!! Is it possible?... Am I first to comment?

Of course, I'm first to comment on the day you decide to not post. Too sucky for words.

Please post! My life is empty! Posts bring sunshine into my life!

MandaCakes

That was so not-excellent that I will also not post about it.

Lilly

Okay. Not first to comment on your not post. And by the way... do you want to come over to Costa Rica so I can eat Noah up?

Yeah, I know. Far, right?

Alison

Noah's outfit is too cute.

wordnerd

If you had posted, and I had commented, I would have said that the Nap Club caption had me falling out of my chair...alas, it didn't happen...

Siobhan

Maybe I read your blog too much me but I'm starting to think that our boys look alike. http://www.flickr.com/photos/redheadedmama/102274110/ Judge for yourself. Maybe it's just the use of dog as a fabulous accessory with the sleeper.

Jezer

1) That cubby/shelf thing on wheels...I want one.

2) Naps rock. Especially naps taken by insanely cute little boys.

3) Y's comments are cracking me up.

4) Am off to read Mommybloggers!

Emily

I think I will check out mommyblogger as well, thanks for not posting about it.

Molly

The muffin was for sharing, silly! My pleasure! Esp since saying, 'Sorry I ate your muffin' sounds borderline dirty...

Jenn

You know what's really sad? Pittsburgh has a curling club, and on Saturday they had an open house where you could actually go curling! And we actually considered going! And I would have been all "Can I use the little broom?" Perhaps it's best we didn't go.

Ali G

it's always the weird sports that get you come Olympics time...

except curling especially rocks b/c you can't really 'play along' with the biathlon in your living room. unless you were my 20th grade bio teacher... obviously unbalanced yet owning a gun.

Missie

Y is too funny.

Love Nap Club.

Jealous that your boy sleeps on his back. Do turtles normally do that?

Kate

Curling doesn't really make sense - but it's so bizarre to watch that it's riveting. I don't know if it really qualifies as a sport - if you can engage in consuming alcohol while participating, is it a real sport?

Ali G

obviously i meant '10th grade'. since i am a smart girl, and the grades only go up to 23.

Ali G

ok, i freaking give up already...

Aj

"This is your nap, and it's ending one minute at a time."

My husband is all excited about the brooms as well: we're gonnna have to get you guys in a detox program.

Beth

Oh! My son had that sleeper in size NB, and it doesn't fit anymore, and now I'm a little teary. Puppy prints!

Ali G

and yet i comment again, b/c one of you internet mommies must get this
- it's too cute!

Heatherg

Noah is gettin' so big........

Leah2

The thing about curling is it is shuffleboard on ice. I think it was added in to the olympics so that people like me could say: "Hey, I CAN still be in the olympics!! I could do curling!" (Kind of like lawn bowling for the summer Olympics". Up here in Canada, we are adept at winning medals in these non-sports sports, like sledding (skeleton--2 medals so far, wahoo!), team pursuit long track skating (whaaaa?), and the aforementioned curling. My husband and I realized that if you counted REAL olympic sports, Canada would only have 2. Let's raise our glasses to ersatz sports...HOORAY! (p.s. if there was a gold medal for napping, I would win for duration, but Noah might eke out the gold for style points for the dead-man crucifix position on the living room floor--hard core).

Lori

This post is giving me the mother of all existential headaches. Paging Sartre. (Fuck him. He was a bastard.)
Does Noah do the fencing position also? There should be an Olympics for babies with the sleeping fencing position....
And now I am slightly drunk, since I am a teacher and have the whole goddam week off, and I got a fabulous new haircut today before I started drinking.
Someone, please, clap your hand over my mouth and handcuff me before I Dial While Intoxicated.

MappyB

Congrats on your mention on Mommyblogs; that's exciting! I love the Nap Club comment.

Lori

Leah, I love Canada.

Patchie

The other rule of Nap Club is it meets every day at the same time. Screw that whole "babies are adaptable" crap that our mothers tried to tell us...babies like routine.

That is the cutest baby who is not napping that i have ever seen. And in the last picture it looks like Ceiba is thinking, "If they'd just leave, I could taste him. Just a nibble."

robin

I am Jack's raging progesterone! SOOOO cute!

Nothing But Bonfires

I'm all about the LUGING myself.

(Luging? Is that how you spell it? It looks a bit rude. Like LUBING.)

Anyway, the one where they slide really fast down some icy stuff. Though now I'm going to have to check out the curling too.

(Lubing, curling -- it's like the Personal Grooming Olympics or something...)

Theresa

I love how Ceiba is so perfectly spherical in that first picture. Except for the ears, of course.

Catherine

Major Awww for Nap Club. Off to check out mommybloggers.

Contrary

We've (that being the royal 'we' and in reality meaning only 'me')consulted the judges and I must tell you that this qualifies as a post.

There were (funny) words. There were Noah pictures (enhanced by Ceiba!). There were giggles to be had.

You posted.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Of course, you probably think you invented denial.

Lisa B

I know of a little boy (Nathan) who was born a few days of Noah. And today I saw him and he was wearing the same exact outfit that Noah is wearing in the pics. How wierd.

lori

certifiably drunk. Lisa B. "i before e except after c..." blah blah. i may be drunk,but damn i can spell. can't find the cap key, though.
amy, you should teach. consider a career change.

Laura B

Curling! Would you believe me if I told you that my company had a rah rah corporate love fest today and went curling? And would you believe be if I told you that within 10 minutes, I managed to dislocate my knee and get sent to the emergency room? No, I didn't think you would believe me because that is too ridiculous to be true. (Note to self: do not ever get talked into a sporting activity ever again, even for something as harmless looking as curling since the last time you dislocated your OTHER damn knee you were doing something as harmless as frisbee. Stupid knees.)

Nap club? Haaaaaa!

Starbuck

Well, I'm glad I didn't check your site today since I knew you wouldn't be posting on a 3-day weekend.

But please post tomorrow. Thanks!!

LotionBarBunny

Is he bored by the curling?

Dear AL

Hey... hey! Stop shoving! I'm gona post! Sheesh!

amalah, Mom son use to have his own Nap club, but lately he's been pissed off at Elmo. The darn muppet wont close his eyes!

Dear AL

Hey... hey! Stop shoving! I'm gona post! Sheesh!

amalah, My son use to have his own Nap club, but lately he's been pissed off at Elmo. The darn muppet wont close his eyes!

JustLinda

But if you go over to mommybloggers, just skim past that whole Amy interview and - guess what? I'm a STAR! I even have a Jackie-O scarf and oversized glasses on today!!! I'm a comment-star! Which, well, it's not as bright as the north star but it's still necessary so that someone can compare the north star to the less-bright on in order to appreciate the full brightness of the north one.

Or something like that.

Nonetheless, there I am! (OK, OK, read the interview first - but don't skip the important comments at the end!!!)

miss cavendish

I thought of getting huffy enough to write that my grandmother was a provincial champion curler in Canada (which she was) but then read Leah's comment that linked shuffleboard wirh curling and the whole grandmother reference suddenly didn't seem so fabulous any more. But have you ever lifted a rock? They're heavy--not like shuffleboard at all! And my grandmother bought a great curling sweater each year (not a yummy sweater, to reference Dooce, but a cool athletic sweater!). Anyway, enought about curling. Have to cook some back bacon and swill some Blue.

md

You must rent "Men With Brooms," which is a curling movie! Yes, really.

Dr. Johnny Fever

If you're not posting that I am most CERTAINLY not saying anything about how that damn son of yours makes me want to have my vasectomy reversed so I can have another baby boy.

Kathryn

Okay, Ms. Amalah, as a self-respecting former Penn Stater, you HAVE played Broomball, right?

I think it's required to graduate, but I know you transferred, so perhaps allowances were made..

S. Faolan Wolf

I thought I was the only one fascinated by curling this Olympics. One channel I keep flipping to constantly has it on. And I cannot stop watching it even though I have NO idea what is going on. Maybe I should unmute it?

Anyway, thanks to your non post I have to make yet another dentist appointment as my mouth instantly filled with cavities the moment I clicked on your site and saw those adorable photos.

Noah is cute and I LOVE how Ceiba has to be right there, all curled up and watching over him. OH my GOD that dog is cute!!!! Her expressions...her wrinkled brow kills me! Cutest dog lying next to cute little baby head and you see why I'm sending you the dental bill now.

PaintingChef

I, too, have been oddly riveted by the curling...

Leah2

I did curl once....and the rock was so heavy I couldn't lift it...and then I fell over when I tried to throw it. So PROPS to curling. But it DOES SEEM like I have a better chance at that than, say, downhill skiing, or perhaps arials. Goooooo, OLD PEOPLE.

Krisco

But this so *seems* like a post.

Hmpht. Will make appt.

the kim half of glamorouse

I'm afraid that is completely unacceptable.

1. Not only do I have to ENDURE weekends without your posts, I have to manage the whole time difference thing so live in the knowledge there were be nothing on Amalah until TUESDAY.

2. I refuse to go to Mommybloggers because its name offends me. a) you guys spell mummy wrong and it's really irritating when strangers do it (not you of course. My pretty.) and b) the notion of such a construct give me the creeps. Like how we all know the Breastfeeding Mothers Assoc is just a cover for women who think homeschooling is a good idea and see nothing wrong with their five year old walking over to them, lifting their shirt and having a quick drink from the taps that used to be her breasts.

I don't care if I'm a mum and a blogger. I don't care if it's another place to feed my weird obsession with all things Storch, there's NO WAY I'm going to MommyBloggers.

Jasper fell asleep twice on the lounge room floor last week. Without me realising.

I noticed Ceiba's gogo gadget legs have reverted to their original size then.

kathy

The overwhelming feeling I had when viewing these photos? Pea green with envy. Nap Clib goes by too too fast.

HBT

Were you and your two men at Cosi yesterday? The one at Mazza? Probably not you and just my toddler induced haze that had me thinking- blond Mom = Amalah.

Anyway, cute pictures.

Kestrel

Woman, every single day you bring a smile to my face. Every day! Even when you don't post. :P Amazing.

superfantastic

Curling! I KNOW!

jenn

52 comments on a non-post-- you are impressive!

Real Girl

I really, really love your baby-dog photos. It's like looking at a plate of chocolate and cheesecake, nestled sweetly together.

Except unlike the plate of chocolate and cheesecake, I promise to never, ever gobble down your baby or your dog.

Eating pets and babies is bad.

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