She's Come Undone and Also Unhinged
February 23, 2006
Yes, I'd love to post an entry too. Would LOVE it. Would find it DELIGHTFUL.
But it's kind of hard, what with all the sobbing helplessly at my desk and the stress and the let's-not-get-fired nonsense and also, I found out this morning that my daycare center requires a doctor's note for Pedialyte.
PEDIALYTE, WHICH IS FUCKING GATORADE. YOU BUY IT AT THE GROCERY STORE. SHOULD I PROVIDE A NOTE FOR FORMULA TOO NOW? I AM NOT DRAGGING MY CHILD TO THE DOCTOR OVER EVERY CASE OF THE RUNS WHAT WITH A $20 CO-PAY AND A $15 FORM FEE AND MISSED WORK JUST TO GET YOU A FORM TO COVER YOUR ASS BECAUSE OF MY INSANE DESIRE TO MAKE SURE MY BABY IS PROPERLY REHYDRATED, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE GOT THE DIARRHEA FROM YOUR CENTER IN THE FIRST PLACE. AN OUNCE OR TWO IS ALL I WAS ASKING AND I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU STOPPED ACTING LIKE I WANTED YOU TO ROLL HIM SOME SWEET, SWEET MEDICINAL MARIJUANA.
NEXT TIME I AM LYING AND CALLING IT APPLE JUICE AND YOU CAN SUCK IT.
What, is the yelling a bit much?
Now, before anybody dares jump on me about sending a baby with diarrhea to daycare, I would like to tell you that 1) he's totally fine now but I was just trying to be Safe with the Precautionary Measures and the Just In Case-ness, and 2) you can suck it too, I'm cranky.
I'm going to look at some baby pictures now. You can look at them too, I suppose.
Noah loves Ceiba all of a sudden. He tries to hug and kiss her and everything. I think she likes him too, and I will not spoil this sweet caption by telling you what exactly I caught her licking off of Noah's bouncy seat cover last night, although if you read the beginning of this entry a few dozen times I think you can guess, and yes, we do remember to feed her real food, at least most of the time.
(Also, look! We have matching chins!)
Noah, seen here taking a break from gouging out chunks of flesh with his fingernails. And rehydrating.
Yo, why you gotta be all up in my grill, beyotch?
I would like to state for the record that this child? Smiles and laughs all the damn time. Look at him, and behold the dimples. Talk to him, and watch him laugh like a loon. Point a camera at him and be rewarded with a blank, drooly look at simply says, "a-durrrrrrrrrr."
Close enough. I feel mostly better now.
What's up with the Pedialyte? My husband brought home a jar last night and it says you should use it with doctor supervision -- why sell it at the friggin grocery store and then slap on a notice like that? It doesn't make any sense. I found myself questioning whether I should give it to my son, but then I read the ingredients and was seriously like what the hell?
I'm sorry things are so rough. I hope your annual review goes well and that you get a big fat promotion and ginormous raise.
He is so sweet.
Want me to write you a fake doctor's note?
If you'd rather I forge a doc's note for you I am totally cool with that. Then you don't have to be guilty, but you also don't actually have to go to the doctor. Problem solved!
I say you make the stuff Julie made and call it "baby beer."
The world is going effin' cuh-rayzeeee!!!
Give the kid some Pedialyte and shut up already. I mean, you want to take precautions and they mess with you just because you're trying to be responsible and have some peace of mind.
On another note, dog-and-baby-hug is way more cuteness than the internet can stand.
And I'm glad you guys are doin' better. Hugs from the distance to you!
My baby and the camera? Yeah, exactly the same. He smiles so hugely it seriously looks like his face is going to break, but get out the camera and he becomes Mr. Serious.
OK, daycare? Can bite my ass. Just wait until Noah's teething and they won't give him Children's Motrin without a doctor's permission. Ridiculous.
Frema: HA. HA HA.
Oh wait, that's coming dangerously close to talking about work on my website, so instead I will pretend that my annual review has not already happened and that I hope all that good stuff happens too!
I did not know daycare could be so anal. If he's drinking his regular formula even when he is sick, don't torture yourself about the pedialyte, he'll be getting enough fluids anyways. Can you not visit him during your lunch break and give him some yourself?
What the hell? Do you have to get a note from your MOM too?
I think the proper remedy is for you and Jason to have a night out.
Ok mostly because I want slobbery kisses and the smiles..oh my god! the smiles. And so I can make him wear that hate and dance to a little Sean Paul.
Not that we've ever done that. Ever.
Lolismum - that's what kills me about the whole thing. Yesterday I went to pick him up and they told me that he refused to drink his formula all day (!) and had a little diarrhea (!!) and they did. not. call. me.
And yet today, I ask them to maybe keep an eye on the whole rehydration situation and give some goddamned Pedialyte if he needs it and you'd think I was ASKING THEM TO DO SOMETHING IRRESPONSIBLE. LIKE SAY, NOT ALERT A MOTHER THAT HER CHILD IS NOT EATING AND IS MAYBE A LITTLE SICK.
Wow, there I go with the yelling again. Ahem. Scrolling up to look at baby pictures again.
What is this world coming to? Don't even try to buy Sudafed...they monitor the stuff even more carefully than the hall pass in my high school. Crazy!
Also, love the new rules for leaving comments. You're Queen for a reason!
So. completely. adorable.
Totally send the pedialyte in as apple juice. Screw them. How incredibly stupid!
So, wait. He was dehydrated and they wouldn't give him Pedialyte?!? That's terrible. I am sure there is some legal reason as to why they can't, and it's 'not their rule in the first place,' it still STINKS!
Your Valentine's roses sure are holding up nice.
What is that alien spaceship thing that's going to steal Noah away to the Mother ship? A little activity chair, perhaps? He's not smiling for a good reason, he's probably just really dizzy from the busy-ness of it all.
Hope you and the fam are feeling better!
My daughter does the same thing with the video camera. It's like the damn tree making noise in the woods.. When no one is around she laughs, talks, crawls, stands..and tries to mimic everything I do, but the minute I try to catch it on video for her daddy..Nothing but a stare. wtf. So Cute btw!
I'm preparing myself for another couple years of ADORABLE KID WITH DOG photos. Because this one already turned me into a puddle of goo. With that little arm hugging that little dog...
Can't wait to watch Noah grow and watch Ceiba become very confused about that.
I bet our daycare would be that anal too - after all, I have to bring in pre-mixed, pre-measured bottles (the contents of which they will throw away after a feeding rather than refrigerate).
I hope things get easier. Also, Noah is pudgening up quite nicely. What's he gonna do with all that cute, all that cute?
Oh, and the Golden Retriever picture on the Busy chair? Way cool. I have four of them. (Goldens, not Busy chairs.)
I had the same issue with the pedialyte and the doctor actually laughed when I went in and asked for a note. He handed me a pre-printed form they have for daycares that says it's ok with him to give them over the counter stuff like tylenol and pedialyte based on their age and weight. Seems like way too much butt covering to me!
That is terrible Amy (regarding your response to me above). I cannot believe they did not call you. Babies are resilient to many things but not to dehydration, that's extremely irresponsible of them. Call up the pediatrician, see if they can send you a fax with a note that says, "Hey dumbass daycare, better give the baby some pedialyte when he's sick and won't drink anything else, or the whole internet will kick your ass, you unreasonable bastards." How about that?
$20 co pay, plus $15 form fee?? Holy fuck!!
Our co pay is $15, but Matthias has to go to a speacialist tomorrow :( and that co pay is $50!!!! GRRRR!!!!
That must totally be a conspiracy among babies, cause Matthias does the same thing... I have yet to get a really good smile on film (er... digitally.. whatever!)
Hang in there chica!
good god. do they think parents will somehow ABUSE the pedialyte priveleges if left to their own non-doctor-approved devices? strange.
hope tonight is much better than the day. ;)
I agree with lolismum. Try to get a form to cover anything OTC, including diaper rash cream and maybe forbid kisses from anyone stupid enough to watch Noah dehydrate. Maybe put some food coloring in the pedialyte so it LOOKS like juice. I would consider that homemade stuff, but I'd be curious to know if they'd even give it to him.
Another thought, sign all notes/instructions left at Daycare as Amy Storch, M.D.
What a DOLL! I want to touch his nose - it's so pokeable.
Smuggling in the pedialyte sounds like a great idea: down with the fluids nazis!
What a DOLL! I want to touch his nose - it's so pokeable.
Smuggling in the pedialyte sounds like a great idea: down with the fluids nazis!
kay, i know i may be saying this at a bad time, with the dehydration and the crankiness and all, but damn girl, i am so loving your blog! nothing like a mother who says it like it is...and yells, and uses profanity and then tops it off with adorable pix of the babe and the dog...come on! i love you miss amalah! you're my new mom-hero and i don't even know you.go figure. and my advice for sure is to slip the pedialyte in with just enough juice to make it look like juice! stick it to the daycare man (or woman)!
Oh God how ridiculous... please send in a little ziplock bag of dried sage with him next time, and be all, sorry, but this will have to do because I couldn't get a doctor's certificate for the CRACK COCAINE I TRIED TO GIVE HIM.
People are retarded.
Except for Noah. He's awesome. And totally pimpin' it in that hat! How gorgeous!
OBVIOUSLY they need a form to give your kid some juice. Duh, Amy. I think any sensible daycare would have also asked for a blood test and perhaps a few of his stem cells, too. You know, for precautionary measures. So, you're getting off lucky here, quit bitchin. You're so unreasonable.
do they work for the government? b/c the last time i asked for a mousepad with gel to cushion my bad wrists WHILE TYPING TYPING TYPING AWAY WHILE COMPLETELY UNDERPAID... they waited 2 months, then told me that i needed a doctor's note. yes, i needed to pay a $20 copay before they'd even evaluate my request for a $5 mouspad.
damn bureaucrats... just tell them it's apple juice.
THIS is why I always had my kid in home daycare. Lovin', huggin', and lotsa common sense. But then again, we lived in a real small town, so that makes a diff.
Noah is some adorable preciousness encased in a colorful plastic shell.
(and can I just say this before Y gets a chance? You think you invented getting mad at daycare. Yes. Am. Big. Dork. )
Why would you let someone else take care of your baby? Would you give them your car to drive all day? Wear your clothes? Crash in your house while you are gone?
That's crap about the note. And poor, poor Ceiba. Although if she didn't like it, she wouldn't lick it.
Ew. I'm going to go throw up now.
Not one day goes by -- not one day -- that my dog does not eat shit. Or at least try very, very hard to do so.
Oooh, a slam about how daycare = bad parenting! BUUUUUURN.
Man, the trolls aren't even TRYING anymore.
Dogs are not my forté. I do, however, have two cats. They don't eat shit but they're not adverse to licking their own asses. Pets are gross when you think about it. It's best you don't think about it for your own peace of mind.
and Noah! cuuuuuuuteeee!!!!!!! :P
I'm not going to say exactly which gross thing my dog eats due to your recent stomach troubles. However, I will give you a hint -- we had to get a special impregnable bathroom garbage can.
Sorry, Amalah, that all sucks so much. :-( I'll have a glass of wine in your honor tonight. I hope you get to have one (four) too.
Is that a green article of clothing a bathrobe? Like he is a mini-Heff?
You should just put the Pedialyte in his bottle/cup and say it is juice or gatorade. I never heard of such nonsense as a dr.'s note for pedialyte--its not like its a prescription or anything.
I hope everyone is feeling better!
So sorry to hear things are so rough... Stupid day care center. TOTALLY tell them it's apple juice next time. Hope you're all feeling better (physically) and that the mentally part catches up soon!
"Yo...beeyotch"? Get them in a pimped out ride and they go all ghetto on you.
Laughed. Out. Loud.
Ok... I've been lurking for far too long. Today I represent because I am passionate about your plight. Quit and go freelance... you know you can do it. I did it Friday because I CAN'T EVEN FIND FUCKING DAYCARE... so there. Now it's your turn. The babalahs are far too important. Feel the fear and do it anyway.... it is an amazing feeling.
Now, I just gotta get some work!
at our kiddo's daycare center, they required a doctor's note to apply sunscreen. not every time, mind, but a blanket permission once per year.
mental.
The note thing about aspirin and the like happens when they get to big kid school too. I remember when school nurses would practically perform surgery in their offices. (I am also old enough to remember when I walked to school uphill both ways.) Now they just have a cot for sick kids to lay on until a parent comes for them. And you still have to have a note from the pope on file for that!
I hope Noah feels better! Excess poop is just no fun.
You should be ASHAMED of yourself! How on earth could you possibly subject your poor, poor, abused baby to responsible parenting like that? I mean REALLY Ms Storch you should take a long hard look at yourself! Expecting the daycare population to actually REHYDRATE your child. You are a bad, bad mummy expecting that!
Sheesh, thought you must have been missing the trolls.
I'm impressed that he drank it. CJ was shitting her brains out (thank you, Zithromax) and refused to drink anything, including Pedialyte.
Next time, get the clear Pedialyte. They'll never know the difference.
You? are the best. mother. in. the. entire. world. period.
So there. Feel better now?